A Deal with the Devil
by ilovenutella99
Summary: I never imagined that I could've ever gotten myself into the mess I did. First I get myself reaped. Ironic, right? The Mayor's Daughter who no one thought would get reaped, gets reaped. Then it just gets worse when Gale Hawthorne is reaped with me. And then Haymitch Abernathy wants us to play up the love angle. How does he expect this to work? Does he expect us to get through this?
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Hi! This is my first Fanfiction about Madge and Gale. From the minute I read a fanfic on them I fell in love with them and decided to write my own version. Please, no hate, but I am open to criticism that will make my writing better._

_In this story, Gale and Madge will be going to the Games. I'm hoping that if I get enough support on this I can continue it until after Mockingjay. It will be AU at times and maybe OOC for some characters. Well, I've talked long enough, so just go ahead and read c:_

_Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins does, but if I did, the ending would be a lot different c:_

* * *

Oh, hooray. The Reaping. The day when two children are reaped to fight to the death on live television. A bad taste comes to my mouth just thinking about it.

I slide out of bed slowly, delaying the moment when I have to appear in the square. Any way to get out of it is fine by me. I sigh and jump into the shower, rinsing off and washing. After getting out, I pull on a white dress, a reaping dress, and drag my messy blonde hair into a ponytail, tying it with a pink ribbon. I deem myself presentable.

My mother has been sick for years, buried under grief. My dead aunt Maysilee died before I was born, in the 50th Hunger Games. Since then, she's been forcing herself under morphling, drowning out the nightmares. At the moment, she's passed out, empty vials next to her bed. I sigh and put them in the bathroom. Technically, we aren't supposed to have them, but my father being the mayor and all, we get lucky.

On the night side table of her room, there's a pin. A mockingjay. The mockingjays are a cross of jabber jays and mocking birds. The jabber jays were genetically-engineered birds that were meant to record conversations by the rebels in the Dark Days, but when the Rebels caught on they started feeding false information to the birds and they went back to the Capitol with lies. The Capitol eventually caught on and left the birds to die off in the wilderness. The birds didn't die off, but they mated with the mocking birds, creating a new species. The species could use human sounds but not record conversations.

My aunt wore this as her token into the arena. I pick it up and pin it on quickly. Maybe this way I'll feel closer to her during this time.

Quickly, I make my way downstairs, dragging my feet on the stairs. I go to the kitchen and grab some bread and an apple from the basket. I guess this is my breakfast for today. My father is most likely still upstairs, in his office.

A sudden knocking on the backdoor startles me. I instantly know who it is. Katniss and Gale. God, I wish I could tell Gale how I felt about him. I quickly rush to the backdoor, taking a moment to collect myself before opening the ebony door.

When I open it, I see Katniss in the front, Gale further behind her, scowling at the ground. Typical.

"Here are some strawberries, Madge." Katniss says politely. The two of us are friends, I guess. I mean, we sit with each other at lunch and partner up for school activities, but rarely talk, and when we do talk, it's just small talk. That's as close as I'm going to get to a real friend. I knew neither of us are very social and have few friends, but I'm glad that Katniss is my friend, even though we are exact opposites. I have blonde hair and blue eyes, typical for town kids, and she has dark brown and grey eyes, like normal Seam people. Like Gale, I guess.

"Thanks Katniss." I said back, taking the basket of strawberries from her outstretched hands.

"Pretty dress." Gale says out loud, and my heart starts to flutter in my chest. Is that a compliment, or just plain irony?

I stare at him for a moment, trying to ignore the fluttering in my chest. "Well if I end up going to the Capitol, I want to look nice, don't I?" His face slacks for a moment while Katniss smirks at my answer. It's not funny to him, not one bit.

His eyes narrow quickly before he spouts out, "You won't be going to the Capitol," he says, a bit of anger sparking in his words, "What can you have? Five slips?" With every word I feel myself shrinking more and more, "I had six when I was just twelve." His jaw locks after he finishes.

"That's not her fault," Katniss defends me and Gale raises his hands in surrender, staring at the ground.

"It's no one's fault. Just the way it is." He shoves his hands into his back pockets and stands there, lamely.

"Good luck Katniss," I say gently and she nods.

"You too," she says, turning and beckoning Gale to follow her. They don't say anything, just walk. Like he said, it's not my fault that I live where I do. Does he think I asked to be the Mayor's Daughter? Have everyone stare at me like I'm a disease?

I sigh, and bring the strawberries back in, dropping them on the kitchen table. They land with a thud. I don't exactly like strawberries that much, they're a bit too sweet or sometimes too sour for me, but my father loves them.

Standing in the middle of the kitchen, I get an urge to play the piano. It helps in bad times. Quickly, I go into the living room, sliding my hands over the smooth and cold keys, slowly pressing down on one of the higher notes. The sound fills my ears, swelling my heart. I love the piano, I really do. Usually, when Capitol residents come to District 12 for something, they ask me to play. Apparently, according to my father, several have taken a liking to me. He has made hints that he would like for me to end up with one of them, to move to the Capitol and avoid the Reaping with my children.

The thought repulsed me, naturally. Like I could ever marry one of them. He hasn't said anything about it in a while, so I may be free from that, if I don't bring it up.

I slowly sit down on the piano bench, beginning to play a soft melody, as it gets louder and louder, with more of a ring to it. Most of the time, I can lose myself in the music, but today it's just not working. I can't concentrate. The feeling in the pit of my stomach isn't a good one.

My dad comes down from his office, a few moments later. His footsteps echo on the cold hardwood floor of the hallway.

"That's very good, sweetie."

"Thanks, Daddy." Yeah. I still call my father Daddy. It just fits him. He comes over to me and gives me a quick hug, one that gives me little comfort right now. I follow him to the kitchen as he plucks a strawberry out of the basket.

"Are they in season?" He asks, after taking a bite out of one.

"I don't know." I murmur. My father doesn't mind that they come from the woods. Or, if he does, he doesn't say anything. Silence echoes in our house.

Before long, he speaks again, looking at his watch. "It's time to go." He says, before leading me to the square in silence.

There are already several kids in the check in line, from trembling twelve year olds, to the eighteen year olds who pray that they don't get picked in their last year. That's Gale. Praying he doesn't get picked. The prick on my finger startles me slightly, but doesn't hurt much. I slowly walk to the sixteen section. Most girls avoid me. I stand next to Katniss and she doesn't mind, because she's looking for Prim.

It's Prim's first year in the Reaping and I know she's probably terrified. Every kid was when they were twelve. Hell, I know I was. But I didn't get picked, and neither will she. She has one tiny slip in that giant bowl filled with thousands. Five of which have Margret Undersee written on them in careful handwriting.

I start fiddling with my fingers, as more people start filling in. My section fills up quickly. The mood is solemn, all of us hoping we aren't one of the "lucky" tributes to go to the Capitol to die.

Finally, my father and a few of his representatives make it onto the stage, signalizing the Reaping is about to begin. I think that this year there's going to be no incidents when Haymitch Abernathy enters the square.

Haymitch is the district drunk. After he won, he drowned his sorrows in alcohol, or anything with alcohol. Peacekeepers have to help him onto the stage, he's so drunk. This is normal. As usual, we will be the laughing stock of Panem. Yay.

My father reads the history of Panem, and as usual, everyone tunes it out. Then, he reads out the list of living Victors. So, Haymitch.

"Welcome, welcome, to the reaping for the 74th Annual Hunger Games! And, may the odds be ever in your favor!" Effie Trinket's voice is shrill in my ears. For years now, she's been our District Escort, and word on the street is that she hates our district and wants to escort a different one. Her bright pink skirt and pink blouse stand out against our coal covered district.

"As usual, ladies first." She squeals again, and moves toward the bowl.

Effie reaches her white hand into the bowl and shuffles it around, through the thousands of slips. You can hear nothing besides the clicks and clacks of her heels as she walks back to the microphone.

Then, she reads the single name, the one girl who's going to most likely die. "Margret Undersee." Immediately, I feel sick. My name, _my name_, was just called. I'm going to the Games. Everyone has backed away from me like I'm diseased, and if they even breathe in the air I'm breathing in, they'll catch it too. Next to me, Katniss has gone pale. I swallow thickly and force myself to move. I can't cry. I won't, I will not cry. Later. I'll cry later. People make a pathway for me and I set my shoulders back.

I make it to the steps, after an excruciating long walk and slowly climb the steps, as Effie Trinket keeps motioning me to go faster. My eyes skirt to my father, whose mask is gone. He's no longer the strong and steady Mayor of District 12. No, he's a parent now. A normal parent, scared for their children.

"Wait a minute!" Effie jumps, as she realizes who I am, "Are you the Mayor's daughter?" I don't move, instead staring at the gravel covered ground.

"Maysilee?" I heard the drunken Haymitch slur behind me.

Crap. I shake my head quickly, trying to get him to stop. "What the hell are you doing here?" Then, he face plants off the stage, into the dirt. Peacekeepers carry him away from the scene. I know exactly what he was talking about, and now I'm fighting off tears. People are whispering, and I'm wondering if it's directed at me.

Effie's wig is not falling off and she looks frazzled. "Well, I guess it's time for the boys!" I barely have time to think about who I don't want it to be, when the name rings out, echoing across the square.

"Rory Hawthorne." My jaw slowly drops, and no sooner than Rory steps out, Gale's rushing up to him.

With one sweep of his arm, Rory was behind him and Gale is volunteering.

I'm in complete shock. Rory had the same number of slips as me! Less maybe! Peacekeepers shove Gale up the steps, much faster than they forced me and he shrugs them off, walking up the steps by himself before standing next to me.

I hear a young girl call his name and his jaw clenches, as do his fists. I bet she's his sister. I know there are four children, all together.

My father has to come back out and read the Treaty of Treason and the entire time I'm fighting off tears, trying to prevent them from coming out. His voice shakes at nearly every word and it drags on. Finally, it ends, on one quivering note.

"And now may I present this year's tributes for District 12, Margret Undersee, and Gale Hawthorne!" No one in the entire crowd claps. Effie's weak clapping fades.

"Shake hands, you two." Gale gives me a weak shake and his hand falls, back into a fist. Even by this small interaction, my stomach flips.

We're both brought inside of the Justice Building and shoved into separate rooms for goodbyes. Only three minutes for everyone. That is not nearly enough.

There is a feeling of sadness in here. Perhaps it's the plain brown walls, or the faded leather chairs. But it's most likely is how many tears have been shed in here. This is where families and friends say goodbye to the tributes. I've been here once before, saying good bye to another merchant kid. He died, as most District 12 kids do. I'm already preparing for my death; theres no doubt about it: I'm going to die. I've never touched a weapon, there's no possible way I can kill someone, and I know nothing about survival.

I hear the shuffling of feet outside the door and know if must be Gale's family. There's a small girl wailing. My heart aches for the child. The door opens and in steps my dad.

"Daddy..." I croak, but that's all I can get out before my dad grabs me and gives me a bone-crushing hug. We stay like this for several minutes, until I start to talk.

"Daddy-" I say again, but am cut off by him again.

"Madgey, I know this is awful for you. But please, when you're in the arena, stay yourself. Don't let it change you." And I know what he means by 'change'. A few years back, a tribute named Titus went crazy and started eating people's hearts. I couldn't bear to watch him. He eventually died, but he was creepy. And then there's Annie Cresta, from District 4. She saw her district partner beheaded. I don't know how I would handle that. We didn't see her for nearly five weeks after she was plucked out of the arena. She couldn't even formulate clear sentences at the final interview.

"Daddy, you must know I have no chance of coming back." I force out and he sighs, as tears finally release from me, pouring down my face.

"At least try. I don't think your mother could handle it."

"Daddy, I'll try. No promises." He wipes my tears away.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you, Madgey. I love you so much. So, so much."

"I love you too, Daddy. Tell Mommy..."

"I know. I love you." Then he's gone. The last time I'll probably ever see my father. I pull a pillow into my arms and scream into it. The scream is not muffled.

"Katniss?" I ask. I didn't expect her to come say good-bye. I guess too busy with Gale. Oh, God, how is he handling this?

"Well, don't act so surprised." She huffs. "I am your friend." I try to smile, but it turns to a grimace quickly.

She crosses to me quickly before giving me a small hug. "Thanks." I say.

"For what?" She asks, looking confused.

"For just being my friend. I've never actually had a real friend. I'm glad I got to know you when I did." I finish, she still looks confused.

Then she gets it. Her eyes widen. "Oh!" She exclaims, "Well, I guess you're welcome then?" She finishes awkwardly. I want to mention Gale, but I don't. We kind of just sit there until she is taken out.

"Bye, Madge. Good luck." I grimace, realizing that those are the same words I said to her earlier.

I don't think I'm going to get any more visitors, but am wrong when Peeta Mellark steps in.

"Peeta!" I force out and then he's holding me.

"I'm so sorry, Madge."

"Not your fault." I murmur and he releases me.

I take a breath as he starts talking. "You probably think you have no chance coming home. But you have spunk, Madge. That's what's going to get you through this." A weak laugh escapes me.

"I have spunk?"

"Yeah. You do." He's quiet for a minute.

"Peeta? Tell Katniss. She needs someone right now."

He sighs. "I dunno, Madge. I just don't know." He's taken out and gives me another hug. Then, I'm alone.

Quickly, I'm taken out of the room, behind Gale, and shoved into car.

It's very nice, but I'm too busy looking out the window at my home. I'm sure Gale is doing the same. Effie is rambling on with neither of us really listening. All that she's talking about is how much we'll love the Capitol and that it's so pretty and blah, blah, blah. Really, all I want to do is either silence Effie or curl up on a sofa and die. Both are looking pretty good right about now.

We arrive at the dingy old train station where we're forced to stand in the lime-light as the cameras bask in our presence. I look down at my dad to see him standing alone, with tears pouring down his face. Then Katniss and Prim with their mother, looking beyond grief. The worst is Gale's family. The little girl I heard earlier is clinging to Rory's leg. The other brother is clutching his mother's shoulders, as to help her from falling. Her face is the worst. Years of being underfed and having to scrounge for food has etched deep lines into her face, and this is not helping. Her tears are streaming down her shirt and onto the black dirt from all the coal being tracked around.

This sucks, I think to myself. This whole thing sucks. So what if we rebelled against the Capitol? We just wanted freedom from their harsh rule. And this is what we are rewarded with. The stupid Hunger Games where kids fight to the death for entertainment. This is sick. This is totally sick.

* * *

_A/N: Thoughts? Should I keep going? And if so, leave a review(: reviews always make my day(:_

_Sorry for any mistakes, no beta!_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Here's Chapter 3! I'm debating how to end the 1st Games right now, so if you readers have any suggestions, please feel free to PM me. I have bits and pieces of the arena planned out now, but I havent started writing them, haha. I also have through Chapter 5 written I just have to edit it. c:_

* * *

I am being made to Beauty Base Zero. So my skin is bright pink, now, from all of the plucking. It hurts.

Apparently, my stylist doesn't want to see me until I have all un-wanted hair off of my body, until my nails are uniform shapes, and the layers of grim and dirt have been removed. I think along with the dirt, about seven layers of skin was removed also. The woman named Octavia has been working on my nails for the past hour, the man... Well I think it's a man. Anyways, the man named Flavius has been working on my hair for the past two hours, and the other women Venia, has been waxing and plucking me for three hours. This sucks.

"I think you're ready to see Cinna." Venia, the one with the most recognizable Capitol accent, says. I'm assuming Cinna is my stylist, and I'm praying that he doesn't want me stark naked. Or as another miner. They put me in a white room where I wait for him to come in. I'm very scared at what he will look like; just looking at my prep team was painful enough.

He walks in and I am very surprised at what he looks like. He is a middle-aged man with dark skin and dark short hair. The only part of the Capitol I see on him is that he has a little gold eyeliner on his eyes. He's way under the radar.

"Hello Madge." He says in a quiet voice, lacking the Capitol accent.

"Hello." I reply.

"I'm Cinna your stylist." He answers. I nod numbly. "Do you mind standing up for me?" I stand and he circles me, much like Haymitch did earlier. "You're much curvier than normal District 12 tributes, am I right?" I shrug.

"I've gotten more to eat than most of them. Mayor's daughter." He nods and throws me a paper thin robe before beckoning me to follow him. Quickly, I pull on the robe and follow him. He leads me to a little table where the food appears instantely. While we eat, he talks about what we're going to do for the Opening Ceremonies.

"So the costumes for the Chariot ride reflect your district." He says still quietly.

"Yeah, we're always coal miners." Baggy jumpsuits here we come.

"Well, what do you do with coal?" I look at him, very confused.

"What?"

"You burn it. You aren't afraid of fire, are you Madge?" I shake my head, very worried of what's to come.

* * *

My stylist is crazy. Complete crazy. I'm going to die, before the Games even start. I'm in a black jumpsuit with boots laced up to my knees. I have a cape on that is meant to be lit on fire. Yes, that's right. Fire.

My hair's put up in some weird updo, supposed to prevent it from catching on fire. I'm fine with that.

"Now, the flame is a synthetic flame so it won't hurt you." Cinna is saying as we are on the elevator down to the stables. I nod, still not believing. There is no way that this will go well.

"My counterpart, Portia, has the same thing planned for your District partner, Gale, so you won't be alone." Yeah, alone in dying before the Games start.

We step out of the elevator and find we are some of the last people to arrive. Haymitch is talking to a woman about something, I'm assuming that she's Portia, and Gale just looks bored. He's in the same type of jumpsuit like I am, with a cape and all.

"Our stylists are crazy. Extremely crazy." He grumbles, and I nod back.

"Maybe if we rip off the capes we can avoid the worst burns." I mutter to him, as Haymitch converses with Cinna and Portia about God only knows.

"I'll rip yours off if you rip mine off."

"Deal." I say, but can't say anymore as Haymitch forces us to get on the chariot. I'm not used to wearing high heels like this, and I wobble trying to get on the chariot. Gale steadies me by catching my waist. I feel my breath catch in my throat as he stands me up all the way.

"Careful, Undersee."

"Shut up." I mutter to him, trying to ignore the racing in my chest. Then, my cape is on fire. All I feel is tickling on my back. Not the initial instant death like I thought was going to happen. I turn back around to face Haymitch and he grabs Effie's hand, who looks appalled, and then points to me and Gale. Does he want us to hold hands?

"Haymitch wants us to hold hands." Is there a point to this? He slowly nods, somewhat annoyed, and grasps my hand, lacing our fingers. As much as I would like to ignore the beating in my chest, it's what I focus on as District 1 gets out of the gates.

"Is there even a point to this?" He grunts and I shrug.

"Who knows?" The chariots in front of us start to move and we'll be going out soon enough.

Our chariot moves slowly and then we're in the open. There's so many people here.. all of them don't care if we did. The fake Madge smiles come out and make an appearance. They're the fake smiles that I use with Capitol residents, and sometimes, my father. Gale tries to smile, but even I can tell that it's completely forced.

I finally pull my eyes from Gale, who looks very handsome with the fire light reflecting on him, and look at the screen where the two of us reside. We both look completely stunning.

As we all pull to a stop in front of the Training Center, President Snow starts his speech saying that 'Our courage and sacrifice means so much' and blah blah blah, I notice that he's looking at us, and that we're on several of the screens around the City Circle. Several of the tributes are looking around at us. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

President Snow has finished his speech and the chariots are being pulled inside by the horses. The minute we get inside, Cinna, Portia and Effie are surrounding us.

"That was amazing!" Cinna exclaims happily, as he distinguishes the flame. Portia agrees, and Effie just looks happy that for once her tributes made a splash.

"Oh, you guys have so many sponsors already! I've been talking to people and they are ready to sponsor you!" She squeals. I give her a fake smile, knowing sponsors could be a matter of life or death in the arena.

"Good job, sweetheart." Haymitch starts to slow clap as Gale helps me off of the chariot. He flexes the hand I was holding, I probably cut the circulation from it.

"Sorry," I murmur, and he shrugs. He goes to say something to Haymitch, when Portia speaks up.

"C'mon, we should probably go." Portia says suddenly.

"Why?" I ask, not knowing the answer.

"Use your eyes, Undersee." Gale mutters. Very slowly, I turn my head only to see all of the tributes, mostly Careers, looking at us. Basically, in short, they all look furious that we outshone them. Effie starts babbling about how we get the Penthouse because we're District 12.

The minute we enter, my breath is taken away. It's nothing like I had imagined. See, I've seen places like this, being part of the Mayor's family. But never like this.

Effie leaves us no time to examine the decor, as she brings us to our rooms. She tells us to change so we can eat and then watch the replay.

Anyways, I go into the room, which is the exact replica of the one on the train except without the moving landscapes. I go to the bathroom and wash all of the make-up they put on me off. I don't care much for makeup. Quickly, I pull the tight jumpsuit off and shove it in a wad before grabbing a different dress to wear. It's just gray but it feels like silk. I pull my hair out of the

At dinner, there is enough food to keep five families from the Seam going for a week. Effie keeps gushing over our manners and how we're much better than the pair last year, who ate like there was no tomorrow. They were from the Seam, and obviously died.

Just as I'm drinking from my glass, Haymitch walks in and pronounces, completely sober, "So Gale and Madge are now in love." I choke on my drink and Cinna pats my back slowly, trying to keep me from choking.

"I'm sorry, what?" I ask, still coughing. I'm very confused. Does Haymitch know that I like Gale? No, that's impossible. I haven't done anything that could make him assume that.

"You two are now in love." He says again. My mouth drops open a little more.

"Why?" I ask again, still very confused.

"People are talking about the Star-Crossed Lovers from District 12!" Haymitch finishes, eyes shining with mirth.

"What?" Gale asks indignantly, finally speaking up.

"That's why you two were holding hands! For the tragic love story angle, c'mon you have to admit that the Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12 is brilliant, right?" Haymitch finishes and I still look at him in disbelief.

"But we aren't." Gale and I say at the same time, both very quickly. That's basically a lie for me, I like Gale, I really do.

"Just pretend! C'mon, just go with it. Or at least try it." And with that, he storms away, obviously not happy about the outcome of that little talk.

"Is he nuts?" I force out, and Cinna chuckles next to me.

"Oh, he's fine, maybe a little drunk most of the time, but he's fine." Effie spouts out, obviously oblivious to what just happened. I hold my laugh in. A little drunk? He's more than a little drunk.

An awkward silence comes upon all of us, when Portia breaks the silence, "Well I guess it's time for the replay!" Quickly, we all move to the sitting room, where we spread out along the chairs, and such. I curl up into the armrest of the couch and try to block everything out.

District's 1, 2, and 4 get most of the cheering, because of their status. The rest get mediocre, occasionally a big cheer erupts from the audience. The twelve year old girl looks so vulnerable next to her District Partner. Then, there's us.

"Great Scott! What is that?" Ceaser Flickerman, the long time standing host of the Hunger Games, asks, in disbelief.

"That looks to be District 12! Their stylists really out did it this year!" Claudius Templesmith, the other announcer exclaims, as the camera pans more to us.

I close my eyes and try to block their whole commentary about us out. They eventually stop when President Snow starts to speak. Yes, he is definitely looking at us, and I don't like it. I shrink lower into the couch, trying to stop President Snow from looking. It's creepy. As soon as the anthem is over I stand up.

"I'm going to bed, I'm tired. Night." I say, as quickly as I can. I need to get out of here, I need to think.

I hurry back to my room, and have just reached the door when I hear talking.

"She acts like she hates me." Gale chuckles and I freeze. "There's no way we can pull this off if she hates me."

"She does not hate you. A sweet girl like Madge couldn't hate anyone." Cinna tries to talk Gale out of the fact that he thinks I hate him. I don't hate him, quite the opposite, actually.

"Well, she sure acts like it. When will she realize that we're not going to get anywhere if she acts like this?" Gale finishes, while Portia keeps talking.

"She'll realize it soon enough, I would guess." Portia tells Gale.

"I'm going to bed." he stands up and starts to make his way over to the hallway with our rooms in it and I panic and hurry into the room, closing it as quietly as I can. I run to the bathroom and turn on the shower, hoping he won't know I was listening. I hear his footsteps stop outside of my door. I hold my breath. They keep going. Thank God. I actually do get in the shower now and try to contemplate what just happened.

Gale thinks I hate him, when, in reality I like him. And what will I come around to? To realize that the only way out is to pretend we're in love? We've only known these people for less than a day, so I'm confused as to why Portia already can talk about me. I realize that I've been in the shower for a really long time so I hurry and get out and get dried.

I walk into the room and dig around in the closet to find some pajamas. I found some shorts and a t-shirt so I just pulled those on. I'm about to get in bed when I see something stuck to my inside of my door.

Curious, I walk over to it and it has an arrow pointing up on it. I scrunch my eyebrows together and look up. That's what I took from it. I see nothing so I look back at the note and decide to wander through the Penthouse, looking for some clue on what this means.

Cinna and Portia are still in the sitting room, discussing something in low voices, so I speak up.

"Do you know-" And before I can finish they both answer.

"The roof." I stare at them, wondering when they learned to read minds. I'm sure I look taken aback, so Cinna points me in the direction I need to go to get to the roof.

There is one flight of stairs and then a single door. I slowly climb the steps, still clutching the paper, and open the door. As soon as I twist the knob, the door is flung back and a gush of cold air hits me. I squint at the brightness of the lights from below before making my way out onto the roof.

There's a single figure standing there, and at first I'm terrified it's Gale, because I don't really want to talk to him now, and that's like a first.

But it's not Gale. It's Haymitch.

"Haymitch?" I wonder out loud and he turns around.

"Madge. I have to make this quick, but I need to explain some things to you." I look at him, hoping he will begin without my ok. He does. "I don't think the whole Star-Crossed Lover thing is going to be fake, on one side, at least."

"What?"

"This is hard to explain, it would probably be better if I told you before your interview."

"Haymitch, now that you've said something about it, you have to tell me the rest of it!"

"No, no, it would ruin it. You'll find out in a few days." And with that, he runs as fast as he can without falling over to the stairs, and I'm still standing here like an idiot with no clue whatsoever had just happened.

"Why is my life so complicated?" I ask to no one in particular. I then trudge down the stairs, not caring if I make a racket, then back to my room where I slam the door closed, knowing I woke someone up.

As I slide myself in bed, my thoughts start to wander from Gale to my family. I wonder what they are doing. My mom surely knows by now that I'm not going to return alive. I wonder how she's taking it. I wonder how my dad's taking it. He most likely has to act as if nothing is wrong because he still has his duties. I wonder if he was able to eat the strawberries, or would they remind him of me? I stay awake until around 3 thinking about my parents and everything I've heard and seen today. All of my thoughts are jumbled up in my mind, and I have no clue what to do about any of them.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Here's Chapter 3! I'm debating how to end the 1st Games right now, so if you readers have any suggestions, please feel free to PM me. I have bits and pieces of the arena planned out now, but I havent started writing them, haha. I also have through Chapter 5 written I just have to edit it. c:_

* * *

I am being made to Beauty Base Zero. So my skin is bright pink, now, from all of the plucking. It hurts.

Apparently, my stylist doesn't want to see me until I have all un-wanted hair off of my body, until my nails are uniform shapes, and the layers of grim and dirt have been removed. I think along with the dirt, about seven layers of skin was removed also. The woman named Octavia has been working on my nails for the past hour, the man... Well I think it's a man. Anyways, the man named Flavius has been working on my hair for the past two hours, and the other women Venia, has been waxing and plucking me for three hours. This sucks.

"I think you're ready to see Cinna." Venia, the one with the most recognizable Capitol accent, says. I'm assuming Cinna is my stylist, and I'm praying that he doesn't want me stark naked. Or as another miner. They put me in a white room where I wait for him to come in. I'm very scared at what he will look like; just looking at my prep team was painful enough.

He walks in and I am very surprised at what he looks like. He is a middle-aged man with dark skin and dark short hair. The only part of the Capitol I see on him is that he has a little gold eyeliner on his eyes. He's way under the radar.

"Hello Madge." He says in a quiet voice, lacking the Capitol accent.

"Hello." I reply.

"I'm Cinna your stylist." He answers. I nod numbly. "Do you mind standing up for me?" I stand and he circles me, much like Haymitch did earlier. "You're much curvier than normal District 12 tributes, am I right?" I shrug.

"I've gotten more to eat than most of them. Mayor's daughter." He nods and throws me a paper thin robe before beckoning me to follow him. Quickly, I pull on the robe and follow him. He leads me to a little table where the food appears instantely. While we eat, he talks about what we're going to do for the Opening Ceremonies.

"So the costumes for the Chariot ride reflect your district." He says still quietly.

"Yeah, we're always coal miners." Baggy jumpsuits here we come.

"Well, what do you do with coal?" I look at him, very confused.

"What?"

"You burn it. You aren't afraid of fire, are you Madge?" I shake my head, very worried of what's to come.

My stylist is crazy. Complete crazy. I'm going to die, before the Games even start. I'm in a black jumpsuit with boots laced up to my knees. I have a cape on that is meant to be lit on fire. Yes, that's right. Fire.

My hair's put up in some weird updo, supposed to prevent it from catching on fire. I'm fine with that.

"Now, the flame is a synthetic flame so it won't hurt you." Cinna is saying as we are on the elevator down to the stables. I nod, still not believing. There is no way that this will go well.

"My counterpart, Portia, has the same thing planned for your District partner, Gale, so you won't be alone." Yeah, alone in dying before the Games start.

We step out of the elevator and find we are some of the last people to arrive. Haymitch is talking to a woman about something, I'm assuming that she's Portia, and Gale just looks bored. He's in the same type of jumpsuit like I am, with a cape and all.

"Our stylists are crazy. Extremely crazy." He grumbles, and I nod back.

"Maybe if we rip off the capes we can avoid the worst burns." I mutter to him, as Haymitch converses with Cinna and Portia about God only knows.

"I'll rip yours off if you rip mine off."

"Deal." I say, but can't say anymore as Haymitch forces us to get on the chariot. I'm not used to wearing high heels like this, and I wobble trying to get on the chariot. Gale steadies me by catching my waist. I feel my breath catch in my throat as he stands me up all the way.

"Careful, Undersee."

"Shut up." I mutter to him, trying to ignore the racing in my chest. Then, my cape is on fire. All I feel is tickling on my back. Not the initial instant death like I thought was going to happen. I turn back around to face Haymitch and he grabs Effie's hand, who looks appalled, and then points to me and Gale. Does he want us to hold hands?

"Haymitch wants us to hold hands." Is there a point to this? He slowly nods, somewhat annoyed, and grasps my hand, lacing our fingers. As much as I would like to ignore the beating in my chest, it's what I focus on as District 1 gets out of the gates.

"Is there even a point to this?" He grunts and I shrug.

"Who knows?" The chariots in front of us start to move and we'll be going out soon enough.

Our chariot moves slowly and then we're in the open. There's so many people here.. all of them don't care if we did. The fake Madge smiles come out and make an appearance. They're the fake smiles that I use with Capitol residents, and sometimes, my father. Gale tries to smile, but even I can tell that it's completely forced.

I finally pull my eyes from Gale, who looks very handsome with the fire light reflecting on him, and look at the screen where the two of us reside. We both look completely stunning.

As we all pull to a stop in front of the Training Center, President Snow starts his speech saying that 'Our courage and sacrifice means so much' and blah blah blah, I notice that he's looking at us, and that we're on several of the screens around the City Circle. Several of the tributes are looking around at us. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

President Snow has finished his speech and the chariots are being pulled inside by the horses. The minute we get inside, Cinna, Portia and Effie are surrounding us.

"That was amazing!" Cinna exclaims happily, as he distinguishes the flame. Portia agrees, and Effie just looks happy that for once her tributes made a splash.

"Oh, you guys have so many sponsors already! I've been talking to people and they are ready to sponsor you!" She squeals. I give her a fake smile, knowing sponsors could be a matter of life or death in the arena.

"Good job, sweetheart." Haymitch starts to slow clap as Gale helps me off of the chariot. He flexes the hand I was holding, I probably cut the circulation from it.

"Sorry," I murmur, and he shrugs. He goes to say something to Haymitch, when Portia speaks up.

"C'mon, we should probably go." Portia says suddenly.

"Why?" I ask, not knowing the answer.

"Use your eyes, Undersee." Gale mutters. Very slowly, I turn my head only to see all of the tributes, mostly Careers, looking at us. Basically, in short, they all look furious that we outshone them. Effie starts babbling about how we get the Penthouse because we're District 12.

The minute we enter, my breath is taken away. It's nothing like I had imagined. See, I've seen places like this, being part of the Mayor's family. But never like this.

Effie leaves us no time to examine the decor, as she brings us to our rooms. She tells us to change so we can eat and then watch the replay.

Anyways, I go into the room, which is the exact replica of the one on the train except without the moving landscapes. I go to the bathroom and wash all of the make-up they put on me off. I don't care much for makeup. Quickly, I pull the tight jumpsuit off and shove it in a wad before grabbing a different dress to wear. It's just gray but it feels like silk. I pull my hair out of the

At dinner, there is enough food to keep five families from the Seam going for a week. Effie keeps gushing over our manners and how we're much better than the pair last year, who ate like there was no tomorrow. They were from the Seam, and obviously died.

Just as I'm drinking from my glass, Haymitch walks in and pronounces, completely sober, "So Gale and Madge are now in love." I choke on my drink and Cinna pats my back slowly, trying to keep me from choking.

"I'm sorry, what?" I ask, still coughing. I'm very confused. Does Haymitch know that I like Gale? No, that's impossible. I haven't done anything that could make him assume that.

"You two are now in love." He says again. My mouth drops open a little more.

"Why?" I ask again, still very confused.

"People are talking about the Star-Crossed Lovers from District 12!" Haymitch finishes, eyes shining with mirth.

"What?" Gale asks indignantly, finally speaking up.

"That's why you two were holding hands! For the tragic love story angle, c'mon you have to admit that the Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12 is brilliant, right?" Haymitch finishes and I still look at him in disbelief.

"But we aren't." Gale and I say at the same time, both very quickly. That's basically a lie for me, I like Gale, I really do.

"Just pretend! C'mon, just go with it. Or at least try it." And with that, he storms away, obviously not happy about the outcome of that little talk.

"Is he nuts?" I force out, and Cinna chuckles next to me.

"Oh, he's fine, maybe a little drunk most of the time, but he's fine." Effie spouts out, obviously oblivious to what just happened. I hold my laugh in. A little drunk? He's more than a little drunk.

An awkward silence comes upon all of us, when Portia breaks the silence, "Well I guess it's time for the replay!" Quickly, we all move to the sitting room, where we spread out along the chairs, and such. I curl up into the armrest of the couch and try to block everything out.

District's 1, 2, and 4 get most of the cheering, because of their status. The rest get mediocre, occasionally a big cheer erupts from the audience. The twelve year old girl looks so vulnerable next to her District Partner. Then, there's us.

"Great Scott! What is that?" Ceaser Flickerman, the long time standing host of the Hunger Games, asks, in disbelief.

"That looks to be District 12! Their stylists really out did it this year!" Claudius Templesmith, the other announcer exclaims, as the camera pans more to us.

I close my eyes and try to block their whole commentary about us out. They eventually stop when President Snow starts to speak. Yes, he is definitely looking at us, and I don't like it. I shrink lower into the couch, trying to stop President Snow from looking. It's creepy. As soon as the anthem is over I stand up.

"I'm going to bed, I'm tired. Night." I say, as quickly as I can. I need to get out of here, I need to think.

I hurry back to my room, and have just reached the door when I hear talking.

"She acts like she hates me." Gale chuckles and I freeze. "There's no way we can pull this off if she hates me."

"She does not hate you. A sweet girl like Madge couldn't hate anyone." Cinna tries to talk Gale out of the fact that he thinks I hate him. I don't hate him, quite the opposite, actually.

"Well, she sure acts like it. When will she realize that we're not going to get anywhere if she acts like this?" Gale finishes, while Portia keeps talking.

"She'll realize it soon enough, I would guess." Portia tells Gale.

"I'm going to bed." he stands up and starts to make his way over to the hallway with our rooms in it and I panic and hurry into the room, closing it as quietly as I can. I run to the bathroom and turn on the shower, hoping he won't know I was listening. I hear his footsteps stop outside of my door. I hold my breath. They keep going. Thank God. I actually do get in the shower now and try to contemplate what just happened.

Gale thinks I hate him, when, in reality I like him. And what will I come around to? To realize that the only way out is to pretend we're in love? We've only known these people for less than a day, so I'm confused as to why Portia already can talk about me. I realize that I've been in the shower for a really long time so I hurry and get out and get dried.

I walk into the room and dig around in the closet to find some pajamas. I found some shorts and a t-shirt so I just pulled those on. I'm about to get in bed when I see something stuck to my inside of my door.

Curious, I walk over to it and it has an arrow pointing up on it. I scrunch my eyebrows together and look up. That's what I took from it. I see nothing so I look back at the note and decide to wander through the Penthouse, looking for some clue on what this means.

Cinna and Portia are still in the sitting room, discussing something in low voices, so I speak up.

"Do you know-" And before I can finish they both answer.

"The roof." I stare at them, wondering when they learned to read minds. I'm sure I look taken aback, so Cinna points me in the direction I need to go to get to the roof.

There is one flight of stairs and then a single door. I slowly climb the steps, still clutching the paper, and open the door. As soon as I twist the knob, the door is flung back and a gush of cold air hits me. I squint at the brightness of the lights from below before making my way out onto the roof.

There's a single figure standing there, and at first I'm terrified it's Gale, because I don't really want to talk to him now, and that's like a first.

But it's not Gale. It's Haymitch.

"Haymitch?" I wonder out loud and he turns around.

"Madge. I have to make this quick, but I need to explain some things to you." I look at him, hoping he will begin without my ok. He does. "I don't think the whole Star-Crossed Lover thing is going to be fake, on one side, at least."

"What?"

"This is hard to explain, it would probably be better if I told you before your interview."

"Haymitch, now that you've said something about it, you have to tell me the rest of it!"

"No, no, it would ruin it. You'll find out in a few days." And with that, he runs as fast as he can without falling over to the stairs, and I'm still standing here like an idiot with no clue whatsoever had just happened.

"Why is my life so complicated?" I ask to no one in particular. I then trudge down the stairs, not caring if I make a racket, then back to my room where I slam the door closed, knowing I woke someone up.

As I slide myself in bed, my thoughts start to wander from Gale to my family. I wonder what they are doing. My mom surely knows by now that I'm not going to return alive. I wonder how she's taking it. I wonder how my dad's taking it. He most likely has to act as if nothing is wrong because he still has his duties. I wonder if he was able to eat the strawberries, or would they remind him of me? I stay awake until around 3 thinking about my parents and everything I've heard and seen today. All of my thoughts are jumbled up in my mind, and I have no clue what to do about any of them.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here's Chapter 4!(:**

* * *

"Get up Madge! It's your first training day!" Effie shouts through my closed door. It can't be 8 already, I think to myself. I groan and slip out of bed to find the training outfit. As I slip it on, I notice that the material will be very easy to move in and I'm thankful. I'll need all the help I can get.

I look in the bathroom really quick and notice I have circles under my eyes. Great, I think to myself.

Slowly, I walk down the hallway to the dining area. Once again, I'm last to show up. Haymitch seems oblivious to the fact that we had a conversation about my love life on the roof. I ignore Gale's eye and start to get my plate.

When I sit down, Haymitch starts to discuss our strategies.

"So, Gale, what are you going to do?" He asks Gale in a gruff voice.

"Snares, bow, weights, I don't know." He replies. I get the feeling he knows I was listening last night.

"And you, sweetheart?" Haymitch asks me, smirking.

"I don't know, I can't do anything really." He looks at me as if he knew this already.

"Well learn something," He says, and then points to Gale, "You don't leave her side, you hear? You help her learn something new, got it?"

"What was I going to let her do? Go join the Careers? Yeah, she's not leaving my sight." He finishes, looking at me. I guess that's starting now then. I shift uncomfortably in my seat, not knowing what to expect. Cinna reaches over and squeezes my hand. He nods, which I took as 'its ok'. I have decided to trust him fully. I'm glad I did.

We all sit in silence eating with only the clinks of silverware on plates to fill the silence. That is, until Effie realizes what time it is.

"Oh! You two will be late!" She shrieks and then grabs me by my wrist and drags me to the elevator. At the last second Cinna throws something into the elevator and I catch a glint of gold before it comes and hits me in the eye.

"Ow!" And then I say a few more choice swear words as Gale just looks at me in awe.

"I didn't know the mayor's daughter could curse." He says, trying to keep the laughter out of his voice.

"Shut up." I say, but not in the joking kind of way. I totally mean it this time. He seems to realize that because he does shut up. My eye is still watering and I can't find the pin. I'm looking frantically around for it, hoping it isn't broken or lost, when Gale reaches down and picks it up. He hands it to me.

"Thanks." I say quietly, as I'm trying to focus on putting the pin on my shirt.

"No problem." He says before he shuts up.

"Good Lord, you two need to warm up to each other if you want to be presented as lovers. At these words, I totally stab myself with the pin part and curse some more. Gale looks amused until he realizes what Effie said.

"Wait, what?" The elevator dinged.

"Just act like you like each other!" She whispers before she practically throws us into the room.

"That's convenient." I mutter to myself before looking around. My eye is still throbbing so it takes me a while to focus on the room. We aren't the last tributes to show up, but we aren't the first. The Careers are all here and they seem to be laughing at something the boy from 2 said. The other tributes seem to all be standing alone. Then I hear more laughing from the Careers. They are all looking at us and laughing about something. I side-step further away from their little group and closer to Gale.

"What?" He asks, looking down at me.

"N-nothing." I tell him, unconvincingly.

He crosses his arms and looks at me. "Really? You're going to lie about something as simple as this?"

"Fine, they were looking at us and laughing and the boy from 2 was creeping me out. Happy?" I ask, exasperated.

"Not really." He says, and I look at him, urging him to continue.

"About?"

"This whole set-up. It's sick. Totally sick." He says, and I raise an eyebrow.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed? If the Gamemakers heard that, they could blast you out of the arena the minute the Games start." I say, worried. He couldn't die. He needed to go home to his family... And Katniss, I guess. No one would care if I died or came home besides my dad, really. My mom would probably kill herself by using too much morphling at one time to bury her grief from Maysilee and then me. Yeah, that wouldn't be good.

The lady named Atala starts to tell us about all of the stations and how many tributes will die from natural causes and such. I'm half paying attention because I felt a pair, no, two pairs of eyes on me. One was the little girl from 11. I smiled at her, because I thought she was so darn cute, and she smiled tentatively back. The second, I wasn't so happy about. It was the boy from 2, and he was half glaring, half smiling evilly at me. I looked away quickly, and I saw out of the corner of my eye that he was smirking. He was really creeping me out.

Finally, Atala finished her speech and dismissed us. I stood there awkwardly for a few seconds until I realized Gale was standing there too, looking at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Haymitch said to help you learn something so I'm going to help you." He said simply. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

"Well, I don't know what to do." I muttered. I honestly didn't know, considering I was no good at anything.

"Come on." He said, grabbing my wrist and dragging me to the edible plant station. My insides flipped again. I guess I'm going to have to get used to that feeling if I'm not going to be leaving Gale's sight for the next three days.

I start out with simple plants and learn those quickly. Then I start with the berries. I see one that looks like a blueberry and am about to eat it when I think I should examine it first. I break it in half only to find that the insides are blood red. Not blueberries. I consult the plant book and find out that its nightlock. Apparently, nightlock would kill you before it even entered your stomach.

I put the berry down and looked at Gale. "Glad you figured that out." He said, and I know he was talking about the berries. I nodded thinking that if I was in enough misery in the Games; I could eat one of those and end it quickly. I would rather that than some painful death by the hands of the Careers.

"Now what?" I ask Gale, not knowing where to start.

"After lunch we're all supposed to run through the Ropes course. So I guess maybe teach you how to use a weapon?" He says, and I am really hoping that the Careers are not over at the weapons stations. I nod and we walk over.

Thankfully, they aren't over there, but they are close by. We start off at the spears and quickly learn that I'm no good at that. I nearly take the instructors head off with it. I keep apologizing over and over again after that. Gale rolls his eyes playfully at me. I really want to tell him to shut up, but since I've told him that several times in the last 2 days, I decide not to.

Then, we try to swords, but I can't even lift those up.

"Nope." I say, after trying to lift it for the 5th time.

"Yeah. Try the knives." Gale says, as he hands me a knife. It feels pretty easy to use, and the ridges on the handle fit my hand perfectly. I chuck it at the dummy and it skewers it in the thigh.

"Pretty good. Try it again." He says, and hands me another knife. I try again and again, and the knives get closer to the target every time. After the 6th try, it hits the center of the target. I smile, knowing I have some skill. I will never be as good as the girl from 2; she hits the target every time. I keep throwing and throwing and eventually, I hit every target without missing.

"Nice." Gale says, laughing. Oh, I love his laugh.

"Thanks." I see his looking at the bows. "Oh, go on. Go shoot some arrows."

"But Haymitch said not to let you walk-"

"I know what Haymitch said! I'll be fine, trust me. I'm just going to stay here and keep practicing." He stares at me for a minute and then nods and walks over to the bows and starts shooting. I keep throwing the knives, and don't realize when the boy and girl from 2 come over. I pretend not to notice them at first, and when they make it clear that they aren't leaving until I address them, I turn to them.

"Yes?" I ask innocently.

"I'm Cato." Says the boy.

"And I'm Clove." Says the girl.

"Madge." I say, starting to wonder why they are talking to me.

"We saw you throwing the knives and wanted you to join our pack." Cato says, his eyes scanning my body. Oh, God, this is what I was afraid of.

"I-I um, I." I begin, but don't get very far when Cato drapes his arm around my shoulders.

"Come on, sweetheart. Join us. It would help you!" Somehow, hearing Haymitch call me that is ok, but Cato, no, it's not ok.

"Get your arm off before I stab it." I say, mustering all of my hidden rage into the sentence.

"Oh, feisty!" Cato says laughing. Clove laughs too, except it seems forced. His arm is still on my shoulders.

"So what do you say?" Cato asks me again. I know what i want to say but I know if I say it, they'll target me in the arena.

"Thanks, but no thanks." I reply, quickly slipping out from under his arm and start working on the knives again.

"Come on, Madge," He says, his voice dripping with fake longing, "Please, join us. You'll live longer if your with us." he grabs my wrist, and all i feel is anger.

"I said no, now let go of me." I growl, as i shake his arm off. I set down the knives and stalk away from them. I walk to the camoflauge station where the little girl from 11 is.

"Don't let them bother you," she whispers, "They all turn on each other in the end." I nod, knowing she's right. I glance back at them and now they are stationed behind Gale at the archery station. He suddenly tenses, and leaves the station, his eyes searching frantically for me.

I turn away from him, and continue working on the camoflauge. Rue and I sit together, quietly, but not awkwardly. She's very tiny, it's a wonder that she's actually twleve. She looks eight.

I heard footsteps behind me, and i tense, worried it's Cato again. I turn around slowly, only to find that its Gale. I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Madge, come here." He says frantically. I raise an eyebrow and follow him.

"Did they try to recruit you?" He asks, getting to the point

"Yeah."

"What did you say?" His eyes are studying me intently.

"I said no, but they kept trying, and eventually i walked away." I say, bracing myself for what Gale's about to tell me.

"They were talking about you when they were behind me. The girl from 2 said that since you refused that when she finds you in the arena she's going to make the end of your life living hell." He says, looking concerned.

My eyes go wide. "Did she say what she would do?"

"Yeah, uh, just stay away from her in the arena." He mutters, his eyes leaving my face.

"Then what did she say?" I ask, scared to know the answer.

"It's not important," He mutters again, "Just stay away from her."

"Gale it is important! She's out to kill me!" He just shakes his head, and i'm about to protest when it's time for us to eat lunch. All of the Careers sit together and the rest of us sit awkwardly with our district partner.

The Careers are laughing like they are all big friends that have known each other for years. Rue and her partner, Thresh, act like they do know each other, and they make quiet small talk. Rue occasionally makes Thresh smile, and when he does smile, he doesnt seem so scary.

I pick at my food and push it around my plate to make it look like I'm eating, but the truth is, I'm absolutely terrified at what Clove could do to me. It could be anything. I've seen how bad it could be in past Hunger Games. In one, someone had their insides removed. That would be awful.

"Eat." Gale says as he pushes a strawberry onto my plate. I smile at it before eating it. It's sweet and I remember all the times I sat at my kitchen table and ate strawberries.

Lunch passes fairly quickly after that and then we all line up to run through the Ropes Course. Because I'm the girl from District 12, I will be going second to last, behind Thresh from District 11. We're all standing in line and the Careers go through it like it's a piece of cake. From 5 to 11 everyone does ok, and one boy twists his ankle near the end. Most likely, I'll break my neck. Rue flies through it, faster than all of the Careers. I'm impressed that a 12 year old girl could do better than them. Thresh does good and then it's my turn.

"Margret Undersee, District 12." I slowly walk to the start. "Begin." The voice says.

I race up the first rope ladder and then end up on top of it, so I use the ropes to swing across to the next rope ladder. I do various things like this until I manage to get to the end unscathed. Rue looks at me and smiles, which I take as I did well. I smile back.

I realize that I want Rue as an ally. I'll have to make sure to talk to her. Gale then goes through the course and finishes with ease. He smiles at me after he finishes and I smile back. The day ends, and I'm wondering how the next day is going to go.

We are sent back to our floor one District at a time. We are sent last. I'm leaning against the railing in the elevator thinking about to today and everything that had happened. I wonder what Haymitch would say to me almost being recruited by the Careers. Gale and I are both standing in silence when the elevator comes to a stop.

Gale walks out before I do and then he freezes when an Avox comes into the room. Her eyes go wide and she scurries off the other way. He immediately walks into the dining room to find Effie.

"Where's Haymitch?" I hear him ask Effie. Her reply is quiet, so I just walk away to my room to change.

Dinner is an uneventful time until Haymitch speaks up.

"So I hear you were almost recruited by the Careers?" He asks me, and I am really wondering if he knows how to read minds.

I nod and he speaks up again. "It's good you said no." Dinner passes quickly and then it's off to bed. The next two days repeat in a cycle. Wake up, go down to training, train, lunch, train more, talk to Rue, end training, go to bed, repeat. I think Rue wants me as an ally, but we haven't decided anything.

The next thing I know, I'm waking up and remembering that today is the day that I have my private session with the Gamemakers.

* * *

**A/N: This is by far the longest chapter I think. Sorry if the ending is really rushed, I really wanted to get to the private sessions(: Also, I really do appreciate the reviews and such(: it really makes my day a lot better(: Hope you enjoyed!(:**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I dont own these lovely characters, but if i did, it'd be alot different.**

* * *

Oh, my God. I have to think of something to do for the Gamemakers. I cant think! I lay in bed for about 5 minutes until Effie barges in and tells me to get up. I'm getting used to this. I nod and get up and get dressed, slightly shaking. Once I'm dressed, I decide to actually put my hair up today since God only knows what's going to happen today.

Haymitch and Effie are the only ones at the table when I enter.

"So, sweetheart. What are you going to do?" He asks, and I can tell that he's slightly drunk. So much for sober.

"Probably throw some knives, plants, stuff like that." I reply, eating breakfast quietly. My stomach seems to have shrunk to the size of a walnut, so I'm done very quickly. I'm playing with the tips of my hair when Gale walks in. He glances at me and immediately notices how nervous I am. He locks his gray eyes on my blue ones, and his gaze basically says "It's ok."

Haymitch is drinking out of a flask and it's making me really, really, mad.

"You said you'd stay sober. This" I say gesturing to the flask, "Is not sober." I say.

"Stay out of my drinking, sweetheart." He says glaring. I glare back. Gale and Effie are watching us like it's a very exciting match of some game. I'm about to retort, when the clock strikes 9:30. That's when we are supposed to leave. Effie was instructed not to take us down to the Training Center today, so she fusses over our clothes and hair. The last thing she does is straighten my pin and then she lets us go.

*line break*

We get down to the room to find everyone sitting in the correct order. We are the last people to show up. I will be going second to last again, so I have forever to wait before I can get it over with. By the time Rue is called, my leg is shaking and it's moving the seat. Thresh looks me and chuckles before he leaves. Gale places his hand on my thigh to get me to stop shaking. It doesn't work.

"You'll be fine. Just throw some knives and identify the plants. It'll be fine." I nod, not exactly believing him. It's at that moment that moment that I remember what Haymitch told me on the roof and I figure out what it meant. He meant that he knows that I like Gale. Great. Just what I need.

15 minutes pass of silence and as my name is called, Gale takes his hand off of my thigh. It had been there the whole time? I stand up shakily and walk slowly to the door.

"Madge?"

"Yeah?"

"Good luck." I nod, not knowing what to say.

*line break*

As soon as I walk in, i know that i'm going to have to do something really impressive to get them to watch me. They're all drunk and bored, having watched 22 other people.

"Margret Undersee, District 12." I announce, and a few look at me as if they realized why I was there. I walk to the plants and start to identify the plants. This time, I don't mess up on the nightlock thing. I'm pretty proud of myself. None of the Gamemakers are watching. I swallow my frustration and then run through the ropes course again, knowing I did well on it three days ago.

I make my way through it even faster than before and I'm extremely proud of myself. Only two of the Gamemakers are paying attention. I'm getting extremely irritated with them.

Finally, I use the knives. It takes a while for me to get used to the knives again, and then I finally hit the bulls eye 3 times in a row. I look at the Gamemakers eagerly, but they are all paying attention to a big roast pig that's on the table.

Seriously? My life in on the line and all they care about is a pig. I still have a knife in my hand and before I realize what I'm doing, the knife is flying in the air, towards the pig. It hits it and the effect is instantaneous. The Gamemakers scream in shock, one falls in the punch bowl. If I wasn't so mad, I would be laughing my head off. The head Gamemaker, Seneca Crane, looks shocked and angry, as if he's deciding how he's planning to kill me in the arena.

"Thanks you." I squeak before I race out the door and run into the elevator to go back to the penthouse. I punch the number 12 button angrily and stand there fuming. As the elevator makes its way up, the anger turns to nervousness, and then fear. I have basically guaranteed my death in the arena. No doubt in my mind now. The elevator comes to a stop and before I enter the sitting room, I brace myself for what's going to come.

"So? How'd it go?" I refuse to answer Haymitch's question. I sit on the couch and cross my arms and legs. Haymitch keeps trying to pry it out of me, but I totally refuse. Maybe if I keep this to myself it will only hurt me.

I refuse for about 10 more minutes until Gale comes up. The minute he comes in, Haymitch abandons me and goes to ask Gale how he did.

Gale sits down before answering. "I just made some snares and then shot some arrows around for a while. They seemed really tense and alert about something. I didn't know why." He says and Haymitch speaks after that.

"Well, I might have a reason why they were tense." I know he's talking about me, because I see him point to me. "She's been refusing to tell us what happened for the last 15 minutes. She hasn't spoken the entire time and she's only nodded her head. Even Cinna couldn't get her to talk. I figured you could maybe get her to talk." I think I see a light blush appear on Gale's face as he turns to me.

"What happened?" He asks and before I can even shake my head or anything, Haymitch speaks his voice filler with fake concern and caring. "Yeah, sweetheart, what happened?"

I'm so upset and have had a long day, and that comment makes me speak for the first time since while in the session. "I threw a knife at the Gamemakers." I say, my voice shaking. Effie's mouth drops open, Cinna and Portia look amused and worried at the same time, Gale just looks shocked and Haymitch says nothing.

"You did what?" Effie shrieks.

"I threw a knife at them! Well, not at them, but it skewered the pig on their table. Yeah, I know, I've already guaranteed my death. Trust me, I already know." I say. Haymitch stares at me before he burst out laughing.

"Genius! That's absolutely genius!" He shouts, catching me way off guard.

"What? How is it genius! I've basically told them I want to die." I say, standing up.

"You told them that you're a fighter! That you don't want to be ignored!" he says, shouting.

"But that's not me! I'm not a fighter! I'm the mayor's daughter! The only skill I have is playing the piano, and that's really going to help me in the arena!" I sit back down and rub my eyes tiredly.

"But, Madge, you might get a good score and then you'll get sponsors." Gale implies, trying to cheer me up.

"It's only going to make me targeted in the arena, but I'm already being targeted, so what's the point of trying?" I ask, very exasperated. As far as I know, Gale's the only one who knows that Clove is out to get me, but now, since I've said that, the entire room knows.

"What?" Effie shrieks, obviously appalled. Everyone else acts the same way, besides Haymitch. He seems to already know. I ignore all of their terrified glances

"It can't get much worse can it..." I mutter.

I curl up in a ball and lean against the arm rest of the couch until the scores come on the TV.

The Capitol anthem starts and then it shows Ceaser and Claudius talking. First it shows Marvel, the boy from 1, and he gets a 9. Same with the girl, Glimmer. Cato and Clove both get 10s. I try to sink into my seat more when Clove shows up. The girl with the red hair gets a 5. Thresh gets a 10, but theres no surprise there. Rue surprisingly gets a 7. She probably went through the ropes course and used the slingshot.

Then Gale's picture comes up and Ceaser announces that he got a 9. He laughs and then gets a lot of congratulations and such.

"Nice." I say, and then mutter to myself "And here comes my 3." I think Gale heard it.

"And lastly, Margret Undersee from District 12 receives... A 9!"

I sit for a minute, my mouth open in shock. A nine. I got a nine. I didn't get a 3. I start to smile as Haymitch jumps up and starts to cheer.

Effie starts to cheer also and Cinna and Portia are clapping. I'm most surprised when Gale picks me up around the waist and spins me around. I'm laughing when he puts me down and the butterflies are back.

I smile at him when I realize that the room has gone quiet besides Effie talking about how excited she is that we did well and whatever. Haymitch is smirking at us, and Cinna and Portia look amused. I roll my eyes at all of them, still smiling and probably blushing. The awkward silence is over when Effie appears with drinks for a toast to our scores.

She hands us all glasses and drink, but then after a sip, I don't want it because it makes my head foggy. Gale seems want to keep drinking it, but then realizes that after tomorrow, we're going into the arena.

At about half past 11, Haymitch sends Gale and me to bed, considering that tomorrow we have our interviews. Oh, jeez, interviews. There will be thousands of people watching me. Just thinking about that makes me cringe.

"Well, uh, night." Gale says before walking into his room and closing the door, leaving me standing in the hallway alone.

I turn to my door and then slip inside, still in shock of what just happened. I don't even bother to shower because I know that tomorrow I'll be doused in who knows what, so I just put on some pajamas. Once I'm in bed, I start to think about my score. A 9. I might have gotten some sponsors, but I know I'm being targeted. Clove is already planning on making my last few minutes terrible, now I can only imagine what's going to happen when Clove isn't around me.

My thought then stray to Gale and how his face looked red when Haymitch told him to try to get me to talk about the session. Then I'm positive that there was a blush on his face after he spun me around. Why did he spin me around? I'm very confused. But slowly, I drift off into a good sleep for once and I'm grateful.

* * *

**A/N: Why is it that I always end my chapters with her going to sleep? :P Oh well, It'll be different when it gets to the Games. Anyways! If any of you amazing readers have suggestions for this, please feel free to PM me(: it really means alot when i get advice about this story. Oh, also, sorry if her Private Session seemed to much like Katniss's, i just wanted to show that MAdge does have a side of her that can act like that. And one last thing, I'm already deciding now how to end the 1st Games. As this story will go through post-Mockingjay, i'm assuming they both have to live... Or do they..?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Sorry if it's confusing. **

* * *

Chapter 6

For once, I wake up without Effie screaming in my ear. I slide out of bed and for the 1st time in a while feel rested. I better stock up on sleep tonight.

I get dressed in gray pants and a white loose shirt, but I know that I'll have to change later. I step out of my room and take a detour to the dining hall so I can avoid everyone. I'm surprised to see Haymitch in the sitting room.

"You know, sweetheart, I don't think you're acting." He says no drunken slur in his voice.

"What?" I ask, oblivious to what he means.

"Oh, come on. You aren't stupid. It's not that hard to figure out."

"What on earth are you talking about?" I ask, sitting down in the chair across from him.

"Maybe you are stupid. The star-crossed lover's _act_," he begins, putting emphasis on act, "is not an act. That I know of."

It takes me a minute to process this information. Haymitch knows. He knows I like Gale. This isn't good.

My face must register surprise and Haymitch is about to continue when Effie comes running into the sitting room looking for us.

"Oh, there you two are!" She says, and then grabs my wrist and drags me into the dining room where we will be eating breakfast.

I think about what Haymitch said and how it isn't an act. It confuses me. Does he know that I like Gale? Or does he know something that I don't?

Anyways, I'm still being dragged by my wrist to the dining hall and finally, Effie manages to get me in there.

I must have irritation written all over my face because Cinna and Gale both look at me, questioning what just happened. I ignore their eyes, as I have done in the past few days and sit down to eat breakfast. I know that I must eat today because first I spend 4 hours with Effie to learn how to sit, talk, and smile like a proper woman. And then I get to have 4 hours with Haymitch, and during that time I will make sure he tells me what the heck is going on.

"So, Madge, you will be with Effie first and then me. Gale, the opposite." Haymitch says, with a devious grin on his face. I can only imagine what Haymitch has planned for me.

We all finish eating in silence, and my thoughts are already being taunted by the looming thought of the arena tomorrow. I'm already dead scared and we have a whole day to go.

Cinna must sense this because he smiles and nods at me. I am so glad I decided to trust him.

"And then, after that, you will be with your stylists so they can get you ready for the interviews." Effie squeals. Obviously, the interviews are one of her favorite parts. I shift uncomfortably. I hate appearing live in front of audiences. Even if I did fine at the Opening Ceremonies, that was only because I wasn't talking and wasn't alone.

Breakfast again passes in silence as I try to mentally prepare myself for 4 agonizing hours with Effie.

* * *

"No, try it again Madge!" Effie shrieks at my terrible walking in high heels. Only an hour in and I'm already ready to leave.

I sigh and walk back to her, wobbling in the heels. These are like 7 inches tall and I honestly think that it's impossible to walk around in these for a long time. But if Effie can walk around in foot tall heels, I can walk in 7 inch heels.

Eventually, I manage the heels and then we move on to sitting. Instead of crossing my legs, I have to cross my ankles. Being the mayor's daughter, I learned some of this, but not all of the crazy things Effie is telling me.

I also learn how to smile while saying everything. Before, during, or after a sentence or comment. BY the time the 4th hour is over, I'm done with it. I'm pretty sure that I won't be smiling very much in the arena, or need to cross my ankles properly, or walk in high heels.

Once Effie says that it's time to eat lunch, I literally go running out of the sitting room to the dining hall, mostly to get away from Effie and her proper etiquette.

Of course, I run into Gale.

"Whoa, slow down, Madge. Where's the fire?" He says, laughing at me running into him.

"I just wanted to get away from Effie." I whisper quickly because I know Effie will be coming soon.

"Oh. Why?"

"Because I swear high heels will be the death of me." I exclaim to him and he laughs.

"Sounds horrible. As long as I don't have to wear them." I roll my eyes at him and we walk to the dining table with Haymitch smirking at us.

I make a face at Haymitch and he smiles that devious smile.

"So, sweetheart, what did you learn from Effie?" Haymitch asks me, knowing that I hated it.

"That I hate high heels." I say simply and the whole table laughs besides Effie.

"Well, you need to know how to walk in them Madge!" She chimed loudly.

"Yeah, yeah, keep your hair on." Haymitch snapped and the table laughs again. I realized that this is the best time I've had in the past few days.

Effie looks appalled at Haymitch and is about to retort when Haymitch speaks up again.

"Don't even try to retaliate; I'll just make them laugh more." I smile at this, considering it's true. Lunch passes with Haymitch and Effie bickering and it keeps the rest of us entertained. Eventually, Haymitch takes it too far and Effie goes storming out. We're all laughing at her, but then Cinna and Portia leave to go get her, leaving me, Haymitch and Gale the only ones in the dining room.

I really think Cinna and Portia both left on purpose.

Now, I'm just sitting awkwardly tugging on the ends of my hair. Haymitch is looking between Gale and me as if expecting something to happen.

A few minutes of silence pass and then Haymitch sighs and stands up.

"Come on, sweetheart. Your turn." He says. I groan and push myself out of the chair.

"What do I do?" I hear Gale ask Haymitch.

"Stay here until Effie comes back." He says gruffly. Haymitch starts to walk away and I follow, sensing a pair of eyes on me. I don't look back though.

* * *

Haymitch leads me up to the roof and we both sit on the ledge.

"Are you ever going to tell me what you meant when—"I start to exclaim but Haymitch holds a finger up telling me to stop.

"First, interview angle. Then, other information." He says. I huff and cross my arms.

"I want you to be the sweet, innocent girl from District 12."

"Sweet and innocent. I can do that." I say hopefully.

"I hope you can, because what I have seen a few times this week, you can be aggressive." I just glare at him until he speaks again.

"Just don't screw up the answers. Make sure the Capitol will be impressed by them." He says his eyes boring into my head.

"Why?" I question, sort of knowing the answer.

He sighs before answering. "At the Opening Ceremonies, the holding hands did not just spark a 'romance' which I now know to be true," I open my mouth to talk about that when he cuts me off again. "But it also sparked a rebellion. Two tributes already joined in an alliance at the start of the Games basically said that either neither of you were coming out or both of you together." I sit in silence at these words. They will surely blast us to the sky the minute the Games start.

"Oh." I whisper, obviously worried about tomorrow.

"Yeah. Just be careful." HE finishes.

"So about the whole romance thing…" I start to trail off, hoping Haymitch begins.

"Ah. That. Well, you like Gale and Gale likes you. Simple as that." My jaw drops open and my eyes widen.

"W-what?" I stutter, my face going red.

"You like each other. That's why it's not fake. The first night on the train I wandered into a room thinking it was the liquor car, but it was Gale's room and he was muttering your name in his sleep."

I must looked beyond shocked because Haymitch chuckles.

"Come on, have you not noticed?" I shake my head quickly. "Maybe you are stupid." I open my mouth to protest, but Haymitch silences me. "If you haven't noticed this, then you're blind. Anyways, now that that's out of the way, let's work on the interview."

I want to keep asking Haymitch questions about this whole issue, but it's no use because he seems intent on talking about the interview.

I sigh and pay attention to him for once. He asks me questions about the Capitol and then my life at home, and then a sudden thought comes to mind.

"Haymitch!" I shout, cutting him off. "What if they mention my Aunt Maysilee? I don't exactly want to talk about her."

But Haymitch never answers my question. His pupils dilate and then shrink. And then he runs to the stairs muttering 'Maysilee'. And next thing I know, I'm alone on the roof with my unanswered question still floating in the air.

*line break*

Eventually, I wander back downstairs only to find Effie going frantic about not being able to find me.

"Oh, I don't know where Haymitch took her but I haven't seen either of them!" She shrieks.

I tap her on the shoulder. "I'm right here, Effie." I said and she turns around and shrieks again.

"There you are!" She exclaims and then leads me to my room where my prep team is ready to scrub me clean again.

* * *

Thankfully, my prep team only scrubs me down once and then my hair is put into ringlets down my back. Then, they put light eye shadow on me and light pink lipstick. I'm kind of wondering what I will be wearing, as I had no say in it.

Finally, Venia and the others deem me appropriate to see Cinna. Cinna is lead in and tells me to close my eyes. I do, and then a dress is slipped over my head. It feels silky and smooth and I really hope it's not see through.

I then step blindly into heels, though they are so much shorter than the ones Effie had me prancing around in.

"Okay, open your eyes." I open my eyes and my first thought is 'Great, more fire.' Then I gasp and examine it.

It starts at white at the top and slowly turns to yellow as it goes down. Then from yellow it goes to orange and then red, like fire.

"Cinna… It's beautiful!" I exclaim happily.

"One last thing: twirl for me." I start to turn, only to see that my dress is turning to actual fire. My face must look scared that it will burn when Cinna assures me that it won't.

"Now, during the interview, when the time comes, twirl. It will show the fire." Cinna says as I come to a stop. I nod, very dizzy.

Effie comes knocking on my door telling me it's time to leave.

"Oh, yes I forgot." Cinna says before pining the Mockingjay pin on the white part of my dress.

I nod nervously, thinking about all the people who will be watching.

"You'll do fine. Just answer as honestly as you can and find me if that helps." I nod again, nervousness surely eating away at me now.

*line break*

As soon as I get down to the place where we will all be sitting, Rue comes up to me.

"Madge?"

"Yeah?" I ask my voice on the verge of trembling.

"Do you want to be allies?" She asks, her wide brown eyes looking up at me hopefully.

My face breaks out into a grin. "Of course, Rue." I say, and then drop my voice to a whisper. "After the gong goes off, grab whatever's closest to you and I'll find you." She nods, and then we both walk over to where we will be sitting.

When I see Gale, I think my insides really do flip. He has a black suit on and the end of the sleeves have red flame accents on it, symbolizing fire.

When he sees me, his jaw drops open again but I act like I didn't see it.

I sit down and start tugging on my hair nervously and Gale sits down in the chair next to me.

"You okay?" He asks, his eyes staring into mine.

I mutter something like 'stage fright' and he just stares at me.

"Stage fright? You did fine at the Opening Ceremonies!" He argued.

"Well I wasn't alone and I didn't have to talk in front of thousands of people." I mutter back, still nervous.

He is about to talk when we are all motioned to our chairs to sit down. Thresh is on one side of me, and Gale on the other.

The anthem begins and then once it is over, Ceaser starts to talk. This year, he is bright blue. Last year, it looked like he was bleeding, because he was chrisom.

Anyways, he starts with Glimmer from District 1, and her dress is see-through.

"Rory and Vick will be leaving the room right about now." I hear Gale murmur in my ear. I smile, knowing he was probably right.

As it was for the reapings, only a few people stick out in my mind. Clove is the ruthless girl from 2. Cato is the killing machine from 2. The girl from 5 is sly and elusive. Rue is the quiet, sweet girl from District 11 who just wants to get home to her family. Thresh is quiet and intimidating.

Then, suddenly, I'm hearing my name being called and I stand up shakily and walk toward Ceaser, trying to smile.

"Margret Undersee, Girl on Fire." Ceaser says, shaking my hand politely.

"Madge." I croak out. "Please, call me Madge."

Ceaser smiles. "No problem at all, Madge!"

"So. First thing: your training score. A 9. Big number correct?"

I nod quickly, and smile. "Yes, it's an honor to get such a great number being from District 12." I say, still not looking at the audience.

"Yes, I can imagine. Now, I'm sure you've been expecting this question, but what did you think about the fire in the opening ceremonies?" I swallow, as that was not the question I was expecting.

"Well, after I found out I wasn't going to be burned alive?" The audience laughs. "I was fine with it. It was such an amazing idea and it must have really impressed everyone!" I exclaim, finally looking at the audience. There are thousands of them watching me intently.

"And what do you think of your dress tonight? More fire?" Ceaser asks me expectantly.

"Of a sort." I glance at Cinna and know that it's time. I stand up and start to twirl around, the flames leaping out around me. The audience is going nuts.

Eventually I have to stop because I'm so dizzy and the flames feel like they are wearing out.

"That was wonderful!" He announced loudly with the audience still cheering.

"Thank you." I squeak, still catching my breath.

"Now, my next question: Your aunt was in the Games the year your mentor won. How do you think she'd feel if she saw you now?" I feel my face go slack as I try to formulate an answer for this.

"I... I... I think she would be proud of me." I finish lamely and then the buzzer goes off.

"Well, Madge, I wish you the best of luck tomorrow!" Ceaser says as he shakes my hands again.

As I walk off the stage I take a deep breath as Rue offers me a smile. I try to smile back, but it probably looks like a grimace.

Gale is then called to the stage and Ceaser asks him about home, the training score, his family, and then finally, the Opening Ceremonies.

"So, Gale, at the Opening Ceremonies, you and your district partner were holding hands. Any comments?" And there it is. I knew that was coming eventually.

"Um…" Gale starts, as for once, his face goes a little pink.

"Are you trying to say something?" Ceaser asks Gale, as if he knows what was coming.

"It wasn't just District unity we were going for. Madge and I… Well, we're in love."

And theres the bomb.

I should've known this was coming, but all of the cameras have flashed to me and my blush.

"That's unfortunate." Ceaser says, as if he is generally sorry for the situation.

"Yes, well, you can't help what happened." He says an unmistakable blush on his face.

"So you still volunteered for your brother, even though the love of your life would be going to with you?"

"Yes. I want to protect her as long as I can." He explains as the buzzer goes off.

"We all wish you the best of luck, Gale Hawthorne." Ceaser says finally. Gale nods as Ceaser shakes his hand and then comes to sit down again. I am determined to keep looking at my feet, but I must raise my head for the anthem.

Gale and I are all over the screens in the Circle. And both of us are bright red. Great.

* * *

Next thing I know, I'm in an elevator with Rue, the girls from 6 and 7, and Cato and Clove. Luckily, Cato and Clove get off first, but not before they can shoot me death glances. Yay, more enemies.

Soon it's just me and Rue.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Madge." I nod numbly, thinking about tomorrow.

And then, the elevator comes to a stop and I'm stepping out at exactly the same time Haymitch and Gale step out. I just stare at both of them and Gale's eyes lock on mine and I look away.

I don't want to face what just happened. I stalk back to my room and close the door. Tomorrow I will be going into the arena, whether I want to or not. I get out of my dress and change to pajamas and come back out. Everyone seemed to be waiting for me.

I ignore them all and go to Haymitch. "Any last words of advice?" I ask, and I notice Gale starts to pay attention.

"Yeah. Stay alive." I nod, knowing he isn't drunk when he says that. "When the gong sounds, get out of there. Don't worry about what the other is doing, just get out." We both nod grimly, knowing that either of us could die instantly.

Haymitch seems to sense something so he starts to lead everyone away. But not before Effie gets a hold of us. She gives us each a hug and then mumbles something like 'a new district'. My prep team gushes over me and start to tear up. Portia gives me a hug and then proceeds to leave. Haymitch gives me a hug.

"Good luck, sweetheart." He says into my ear. I nod and he leaves.

Then it's just me and Gale left in the room, and before I know it, I'm flying at Gale for a hug. I'm sure it was unexpected for him, because at first he just stands there, but then he wraps his arms around me and hugs me back.

"Its okay, Madge. Just do what Haymitch said and you'll do fine." He murmurs in my ear and I nod into his chest.

We stand like that for a while and then I break away, embarrassed.

"I'm going to bed." I say quietly, and before he can stop me I rush off to my room to try and sleep.

* * *

Sleeping the night before the Games is impossible. Here I am, lying in bed, wide awake. I'm just so worried about what's going to happen tomorrow. I wonder what people at home are doing. I wonder if my mom as already given up or if she even knows I'm going into the Games. I'm sure my dad is in grief right now.

I know for a fact that if someone should go home, it should be Gale. Not me.

Eventually I drift into an uncomfortable sleep, drifting in and out of dreamland until Cinna wakes me up while it's still dark. I panic immediately.

Here I am. Going into the Games. Today.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry again if it's overly confusing. I'm not exactly happy with the outcome of this chapter. Thoughts? **

**And in the next chapter... The Games begin. Yikes. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Here's the Games...**

* * *

Never have I been so scared in my life. Not even the first time President Snow came to District 12 was I this scared. I am shaking as Cinna leads me to the hovercraft that will take me to the arena. I am clad in a thin robe and I will be dressed for the Games while in the Launch Room, or slaughterhouse.

Once I grab onto the ladder, I'm stuck as it pulls me into the hovercraft.

"You need to stand still so I can insert the tracker properly." Says the women in a white robe. She's holding a syringe and she inserts the tracker. The tracker hurts, but pain will become a familiar thing to me in the Games.

Cinna leads me to the room where we are supposed to wait and I curl up in a ball in the chair while watching the landscapes zoom by. I wonder what kind of terrain we will be in this year. Above all I'm praying that it's not a desert or a frozen wasteland.

I sit staring for about an hour before the windows black out. We're close. We travel for about 30 more minutes and then the hovercraft comes to a stop. I am led back to the place where the tracker was inserted. This time, the ladder is surrounded by black so we can't see out.

Once underground, Cinna helps me get dressed in underclothes, a green shirt, khaki brown pants, a think belt, a thigh length black jacket, skin tight socks, and leather boots. The last thing he does his put my hair up with a ponytail and then using an elastic headband to keep my bangs back.

"Everything comfortable?" He asks, and I nod numbly. I sit down on the rough couch provided and Cinna brings me a glass of water.

I drink it quickly, wanting to reserve as much water as I can. I'm seriously shaking now and my hands are trembling.

"Here's your pin." Cinna says, while clasping the pin onto my jacket. I don't move.

"DO you want to talk?"

"What if I'm dead in less than 5 minutes?" I mumble.

"You won't be. I'd be betting on you." He says, and offers me a small smile. I try to smile back but instead it's a grimace.

"Thank you so much, Cinna. For everything." I say before I give him a hug.

"One minute to launch." Says the nice female voice. My breathing turns ragged and quick.

"It's ok, Madge. Just do what Haymitch said. Get out of there." I nod and stand up, preparing to walk to the glass cylinder that will take me up.

"Thirty seconds to launch." My eyes must be filled to the brim with fear, because Cinna gives me another hug.

"Don't cry now. It won't stop." I know that's true. If I start crying now, I'll still be crying when it starts.

My heart is thumping in my chest and then its 20 seconds.

"Good luck, Girl on Fire." Cinna says before leading me to the cylinder. As soon as I step in, the glass closes around me, leaving me confined to the small space.

I look at Cinna, thoroughly terrified now. He motions for me to stand up tall as the cylinder starts to rise. I get my last look at Cinna and he smiles, trying to comfort me. I'm then stuck in a place as black as night for about ten seconds and then I'm blinded by light and I know that I have arrived in the arena.

"Ladies and gentlemen… Let the 74th Hunger Games begin!"

* * *

Woods. Grass. Wheat. I smell all of those things before I open my eyes.

When I do open my eyes, I examine the arena more thouroly. Where I'm standing, I could run straight and run into the mouth of the cornucopia. But I'm not stupid enough to do that. Behind me is a large lake filled with crystal clear water. To my left is a wheat field. Who knows what could be lurking in that. To my right, woods. And then behind the cornucopia is a drop off that I would love to avoid.

I look frantically for Rue. She is 4 tributes to my right. In between us are Clove, and the girl from 7. Lovely.

I then look for Gale. He is stationed 9 tributes to the left with Cato next to him. Looks as if District 12 is by the bloodthirsty killers this year.

I must've spent at least fifteen seconds looking around the arena. I need to start figuring out what I'm going to do. Rue catches my eye and motions for the woods. I give her a tight curt nod before I set my sights on a backpack about 15 feet from my pedestal. I position my feet to run that way when I hear the earsplitting explosion.

The girl from 7 is gone. She must've dropped something or stumbled her feet because all that is left of her is bloody scraps of skin and blood everywhere. There are bits of her hair scattered around and her insides are surely not inside her body anymore. I stifle a scream. It seems that no one was expecting a death this early in the Games. Everyone else in the arena besides the Careers are looking shocked at what just happened.

I know I must look terrified because Gale catches my eye and mouths 'it's ok'. It is not okay because a girl just lost her life right in front of my eyes and I can do nothing about it.

If possible, Rue looks more terrified than me.

I'm sure the cameras are zooming over all of us before the killing starts.

Then, the gong goes off. All hell breaks loose. I lunge forward immediately arun the short distance to grab the backpack, securing it on my back. I already hear the screams of pain and the clash of weapons. The Careers must have gotten the weapons.

I feel an arrow whiz past the left side of my body and whip my head around while running. At first, I think it was Gale who sent the arrow, but he wouldn't kill me when last night he announced we were in love. But it's Glimmer, from 1, who has the arrows. She's obviously not good at using a bow because she missed by a mile. I keep running until I'm in the safety of the trees and then I wait for Rue.

I stare, in shock about what is going on before my eyes. People are hacking away at other people, blood is everywhere, and bodies are already littered around the cornucopia. Rue still hasn't come, and I'm getting worried. I look around for Gale, or Rue, or even Thresh hoping they are not in the mass of bodies. Then Rue appears behind me, with a small cut on her cheek.

"The boy from 1," she panted, "tried to get me." I stare at her, making sure she's okay besides the small wound on her cheek.

"Okay, let's just get out of here. I can't stand to watch this." I say, gesturing to the bloodbath. She nods, still breathing raggedly for air.

* * *

We alternate from jogging, to running, to walking for a couple of hours until we are certain we haven't been followed.

Finally, when my legs ache and I'm stumbling around on my feet we sit to rest and examine our packs.

Rue opens hers first and as she takes out the items she says what it is. "Slingshot, water canister: bone dry, extra socks, and a pair of sunglasses." I nod; knowing all of those things could come in handy.

"My turn. A small blanket, water bottle: again, bone dry, some dried beef, iodine, and a couple of knives." I smile, knowing that the knives will help me.

"Great." She says, her voice sounding weak and tired.

Then the cannons start. One, two, three, all the way up to eleven. I glance at Rue.

"Eleven. Almost half." She says quietly. I wonder if she's thinking about Thresh. He acted like a big brother to her. I doubt he was one of the eleven. He's smart and strong. He's probably still here.

"It's okay, he's probably still in it." I tell Rue and she nods hopefully. Then, suddenly, I'm doubling over and clutching Rue's shoulder as if I was punched in the gut. The thought hit me that I never saw Gale after the explosion. He could already be gone, out of the world and his body sent home to his family.

Tears burn in my eyes but I don't let them fall. Rue seems to figure out what's going on and tells me that he's still alive. Eventually, I start to believe her.

"I was stuck in the area during that time and I didn't see him. He's still out there." She encouraged, trying to get me to start walking again. I nod over and over again until I stand up.

We keep walking and walking until I step into mud. Mud. That means water. We both run through the trail of mud until we find the pond filled with wonderful water. We both fill our canisters and use the iodine to purify the water. We wait 30 minutes before drinking the water greedily.

Soon, night looks like it's coming and the Careers will be searching for victims. We need a place to sleep where we will be safe.

"How about we look around for a place to sleep tonight?" I ask, hoping she will like the idea.

She lightens up at the idea. "How about in the trees?"

"Sure, I guess, but you're gonna have to help me get up there." I say, somewhat lamely. I've never climbed a tree, and I'm sure if I tried alone, I'd break my neck

"Okay!" she exclaims, obviously used to climbing trees. Once she finds one that she deems able to hold both of us (but that wouldn't be a problem considering we are both light) and she starts to scurry up leaving me on the ground, looking up at her.

"You expect me to climb this thing all by myself? You crazy." I joke before she comes down and instructs me on where to place my feet.

After about 15 grueling minutes of climbing and a lot of almost falling, I make it to the tree branch where Rue is sitting.

"Nice job." She smirks.

"Oh, shut up you." I say playfully. The smile fades from my face when the Capitol seal appears in the sky.

The moment of truth has arrived. First is the girl from 3, which means unfortunately for me Cato and Clove survived. Then there is the boy from 4.

Rue and I look at each other, shocked. We didn't expect a Career tribute to be dead. Then the boy from 5. Both from 6 and 7. The boy from 8. Both from 9. Then, the girl from 10. It stops there.

I sigh in relief. Gale's alive. He's alive. Rue must be thinking along the same lines for Thresh because when she looks at me, her eyes are hopeful.

"Told you." We tell each other at the same time and then we have to stifle our giggles.

Night has surely fallen now so we set up. We use our belts to strap us into the tree at Rue's suggestion, and then we cover ourselves up in the blanket.

"I miss home." Rue whispers.

"So do I." I whisper back and then Rue's asleep snuggling up against me.

I start to drift off eventually, thinking that tomorrow we have find food when I hear a crack from somewhere to our left. I look at Rue, horrified, only to see that she's alert.

We hear another crack and then a spark. Someone lit a fire. That idiot, I think to myself. Rue looks at me, disbelief and annoyance on her face.

Then I hear it. The pounding of feet running towards the tribute. Then the laughing and the agonized screaming of the girl. Finally, the cannon. The girl is dead.

It's the Careers. They stop in front of the tree we are stationed in. Shit. If they were to look up, they'd make sure both of us had a painful death.

Rue and I sit in complete silence as they contemplate their next move.

"I say that once we find her, she'll lead us to him or we'll torture her until she does and then you can kill her Clove." Cato says while sharpening his sword on a rock.

"Okay. Where do you think she'll be?" Clove questions.

"Probably in here somewhere. I saw her run in here." Cato answers.

"Ooh, keeping tabs on the District 12 girl, huh, Cato?" Marvel mocks and Cato threatens to slit his throat if he doesn't shut up. It takes me a minute to register that they are looking for me. So I'll show them to Gale. I'd rather die before showing them to Gale.

The Careers below us argue about something for a while before they head off. Rue and I sit there for a little until we look at each other in horror. They're looking for me, and when they find me, I'll be tortured until I find Gale. Great.

I sigh and motion for her to go back to sleep that I'll take first watch. She falls asleep again and I stay on watch, like I said.

Why is Clove so intent on killing me? What did I ever do to her? I did turn their offer down. Maybe that's it. Or maybe it's the fact that I got a good score. I'm not sure. I just have to make sure they don't find me, and if they do, die a quick death so I can't show them where Gale is, where ever he is.

* * *

**A/N: Just as a note, this is where nothing will be the same as it was in Katniss's games. It's gonna be mostly different, but some things might be the same. I'm not sure. Thoughts? Comments? Complaints?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: This chapter is absolute rubbish, just telling you.**

* * *

I let Rue sleep for a little longer and while she's sleeping, I hear one more cannon. I wonder who it was. They probably died by the Careers. They're still out there. Looking for me.

Once I wake Rue up so I can sleep, another cannon go off.

"13 down…" She says glumly. We both know that with more people gone, the closer it comes to the end, and the sooner one of us has to die or we break the alliance.

"I can't sleep anymore, not after hearing the cannon. Can we go hunt?" I ask, because the sun is starting to peak through the fake arena clouds.

Rue's stomach growls. "Please." She says, offering a small smile.

We climb down from the tree (her telling me what to do of course) and then land on the ground unscathed.

We come to a silent agreement that Rue will hunt in the trees and I will stay on the ground. As she hops around way above me, I am walking silently, one of my knives ready to attack any animal, or human (I hope it doesn't come to that) that comes to me.

I hear a rustle in one of the bushes around me and I freeze. The rustling gets louder and louder until a rabbit pops out. I didn't realize I was holding my breath.

I chuck my knife over and close my eyes as the knife hits its mark. I open my eyes and see the rabbit, lying dead on the ground with a knife sticking out of its side.

At first, it pains me to kill something, but then my stomach rumbles and I reach down, grab it, and shove it in my small backpack.

(Line break)

Rue and I meet back up on the ground. She has collected berries and some leaves. I have a rabbit.

"Are you sure those berries are safe?" I ask. "They could be Nightlock." In reply, Rue takes a berry and eats it.

"Rue!" I shout frantically. "Those could kill you!"

"It's okay, we have them at home."

"You do?" I ask, curious about District 11.

"Yeah. When I'm bored during the day when I'm up in the trees I find them and eat them." She says, smiling.

"Up in the trees?"

"Oh, yeah. Some of us, well, the smallest of us, climb the trees and signal to the other workers that it's time to go in. During the harvest that is."

"Don't you have school?" I asked

"Oh, no, not during harvest season. Everyone works." Rue said.

We sit in silence for a minute as I contemplate how to cook the meat without showing a fire.

That problem is solved when a wall of fire descends on us.

Both of us kick into action and bolt the opposite direction. Rue doesn't dare hop into a tree as it could fall at any moment. The fire was coming closer. I could feel it licking at my heels and trying to reach out to grasp me, to pull me into its clutches.

Girl on Fire, that's surely a joke now.

We keep running and panting, the air becoming thick with smoke. Then, the first fireball takes down a tree inches from me. I scream with whatever air is left in my lungs and jump the other way. Rue's eyes widen as she realizes what just happened. We veer to the left to avoid the fireball. Then, one comes on the left. We veer to the right.

Adrenaline is pumping through my veins. Now I know what it's like to be in a life or death situation. And it's not fun.

We keep running and I think the fireballs have stopped when one skids across my left leg and I totally lose it.

I yelp, the pain already seeping into me. Another fireball comes toward us and I shove Rue out of the way before I dive the same way.

We get up grunting and start to run again. The pain is unbearable but I have to keep moving. I have to get out of this area because it's surely rigged for other traps.

Just as I'm thinking this, we burst out into the open and fall into a stream. I gasp, trying to get clean air.

No such luck. Theres no clean air anywhere around here. My leg must be totally ruined by now. I keep gasping, Rue doing the same.

"That" I say, still gasping, "Sucked." Rue nods in agreement. I look over her for burns but she only has a few minor burns. I think back to my leg. I'd need medicine so expensive it would probably wipe out the store of money Haymitch maybe had ready.

I slowly move my leg to a place where I can see it, wincing the entire time. Eventually I swing it in front of me.

At what I see, Rue hurls onto the bank. I just stare at it in shock.

"Oh, God, help me." I say, gritting my teeth.

The burn is down my entire calf. It's already bright red and blistering. My hands have a few minor burns, but my leg is the problem.

"Put… it... in... the water." Rue pants, still trying to regain her breath. I slowly move my leg while wincing and drop it into the water.

The pain eases but is still there. I sigh audibly. Rue smiles. I don't know how long we sit there with my leg in the water and the two of us drinking water to replenish our systems.

Then we hear it.

The pounding of feet. Coughing. Raspy voices.

The Careers are coming.

Right.

Towards.

Us.

Rue and I stare at each other in horror. We try to blend into the rocks surrounding us, but every move I make creates huge ripples in the water around us, and just inching my way around causing pain to shoot up my leg.

The Careers keep getting louder and louder until they must be about 30 feet away. Then, they poke through the trees.

Unfortunately, Rue doesn't move fast enough and they spot us.

"There they are!" Shouts Clove, and I shudder, knowing my end is coming.

Rue and I stand up and bolt, pain searing through my body.

"Screw the leg, just run!" Rue shouts at me and I keep running. I hear the Careers leaving a trail of havoc behind us and know that they are catching up to us. Rue starts to climb and I follow helplessly after her.

I slip a few times and then make up about 60 feet in the air, and make the mistake of looking down.

I nearly fell out of the tree. It was so high up. Rue and I sat down at a v-branch in the tree as the Careers formed in front of the tree. I was surprised to see that the District 3 boy was with them.

"Well, well, look who it is. The Girl on Fire." Cato smirked up at us. I couldn't respond. I was so shocked that they were right below us, waiting to strike.

"Look who it is," I start, gesturing to them, "Some idiots who didn't find us last night!" They looked puzzled.

"Yeah, that's right. We were right above you after you killed that girl." Suddenly, they look infuriated. Cato starts to climb the tree but doesn't make it very far.

"Why'd you come down?" Asks Glimmer.

"I'm not going to die trying to climb a tree. Clove, you try. You're the smallest." HE says cockily.

"Shut up, Cato." Clove says, but still grits her teeth and starts to climb. She then falls.

Rue and I look at each other. We both know that we're gonna be up here a while.

They debate what to do for a while and then decide to just wait us out.

Shit.

"Now what?" I whisper to Rue as they stalk out below us.

"I don't know. Hope we have sponsors?" She asks and I nod. We both know we can't stay up here forever.

That's when the pain comes back. It hits so suddenly that I start to scream but grit my teeth.

I start to pour a little water on my wounds and the pain respites for a little but then comes back right after I stop pouring.

Rue then points a shaking hand into the sky.

A parachute! It lands in my lap and I open it greedily.

Medicine. I know immediately. I twist the top off and the smell hits me.

I crinkle my nose and then ignore it. I treat Rue first because she had minor burns. And then I treat my leg.

The throbbing vanishes instantly. I smile and look up into the sky.

"Thank you Haymitch." I whisper. We sit for about an hour, with the Careers sitting below us, contemplating how to kill us, when night hits.

The anthem begins and the tributes appear in the sky. It's the boy from 10, the girl from 8, who must've died with the tribute fire, and the girl from 4. I didn't realize that she died.

The Careers then settle down and fall asleep instantly. Rue and I don't go to sleep.

I hear a rustle in the tree next to us. I look up and see a nest. A tracker jacker nest. I panic and point it out to Rue. She's about to whisper something, when a hand reaches out with a knife and starts to saw the branch.

Who is that? I mouth to Rue and she shakes her head before scrambling up the branches to see who it is. Her eyes widen and her mouth opens but she doesn't say anything.

She finds her way back down and motions for me to move to her side of the branch.

"Who is it?" I whisper, and she shakes her head. I beg her to tell me and she's about to give in when the nest comes crashing down.

It's complete chaos below. The Careers are screaming and yelling and trying to get away from the nest. Clove, Cato and Marvel get out okay, but still suffer a few stings.

Glimmer, on the other hand, becomes stung by the tracker jackers so many times that she collapses and twitches to death for a minute. Her face is now bloated and disfigured.

I realized I got stung a few times when I notice myself becoming woozy and slipping. We struggle down from the tree and then the hallucinations begin.

Glimmer's skin is melting and her hair is on fire.

Fire, I've had enough with it.

I scream and collapse on the ground, Rue desperately trying to get me up.

"Madge, we have to go!" She yells in my ear. I groan and stay on the ground hurling my insides up.

"Help!" Rue shouts to no one in particular and then, suddenly, I'm being lifted up under my knees and my back and someone is carrying me.

I'm being carried, and whoever is carrying me is running fast and staggering everywhere. All I can see is red. And Glimmers disfigured body keeps floating through my mind.

Occasionally, I see Rue, tripping and stumbling ahead of me and whoever is carrying me and she looks terrified and it looks like she's fighting to keep the venom from blacking her out.

And then, the person who is carrying me collapses, and we both fall, whoever it is, on top of me.

I black out, but not before I get a glimpse of Rue, collapsing and screaming, and then the person who was carrying me.

Gale.

* * *

**A/N: Like i said, rubbish. This is probably the chapter i dont like the most, so sorry if you hate it. Review please(:**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I quite like this chapter, dispite what happens.**

* * *

I slip in and out of reality for who knows how long, and every time I'm out of reality, the hallucinations are completely awful.

I watch Rue, my mom, my dad, Haymitch, Gale, even Katniss and Prim die over and over again each time getting worse and worse. And then there is Clove coming at me with a knife preparing to end my life. And then my aunt being killed by the pink birds. How many times must I watch this?

Finally, when I come to for certain, I'm very weak and _really_ hungry. I look around and see Rue still trapped in dream world.

Then I see the pile of food and water, and… Leaves? I crawl my way over to the pile, still not daring to stand up, and stare at it. Someone has been looking out for us.

Oh.

Gale.

I wonder if that was a hallucination. Gale carrying me, I mean. It can't be true, there was no one around us besides the Careers.

But then there were the hands that cut down the nest. Rue looked shocked when she saw who was in the tree and she never got around to telling me who it was.

But I'm almost certain that Gale fell on me when the hallucinations became too much to handle. They were pretty bad.

I curl up, pulling my knees to my chest, hoping to block out the thoughts.

I hear Rue groan and then sit up, rubbing sleep out of her eyes.

"Hey." I say quietly.

"Hey." She responds before inching her way over to me. I hand her a cracker and some berries. We sip on water for a little.

"What are these leaves for?" I ask Rue, totally confused.

Her eyes widen. "Oh! The leaves! They draw out the poison!" She looks at her own stings. "Though mine seem to have already been treated." Her eyes widen even more before she smiles slyly. "Oh, you." She says to no one in particular.

"Wait, what?" I ask her, curious.

"Oh, nothing." She says, still while the sly smile plastered on her face.

"Rue, you know something and I would love to know!" I joke, hoping she will actually tell me. "But, when I wouldn't get up… yesterday, I think? Who carried me here?"

"Gale." She says simply, before looking away.

"I'm sorry, what?" I ask, disbelieving.

"Gale carried you here."

I stare in shock before I fall to the side, still curled up. Rue laughs at me.

"Shut up." I growl at her but she doesn't.

"You're so clueless, Madge."

"Excuse me?" I ask, my eyes narrowing.

"You're so… Naïve."

"Says the twelve year old girl." I mutter, and she cracks a smile.

Suddenly, were both laughing like crazy. I don't know why, but we are. It must be all if the pent up stress releasing itself. We roll over laughing and clutching out stomachs and tears are rolling down my face when I finally stop.

I hear a rustle in the bushes and whip my head around. Theres no one there. I look back at Rue and she's winking at… Me? No, it can't be me. Someone in the bushes?

I turn back around and stare. I think a see a glint of something, but then look back at Rue. She's still smiling.

"What?"

"Nothing." I roll my eyes at her before dropping the subject. I will nag her about it later.

"Madge. I think we should do something about the Careers."

"What would we do? Theyre all out to kill us. Plus, they have all of the food and supplies they could need to survive."

"But what if they didn't?" She says and my eyes widen.

"You mean, like what if we destroyed it or something?"

"Yeah."

"Rue, that's genius."

And by the end of the morning, we have our plan. Rue will light the three fires at different times to distract the Careers and I would go and try to destroy it.

We spaced the fires out evenly and then loaded them with branches so the smoke would be able to be seen.

Rue teaches me to Mockingjay signal that she uses in the trees to signal the end of the day back home.

"If you hear that, then you will know that I'm safe. Just return the signal and I will know that you are safe." I nod, ready to go through with the plan.

"Be careful, Rue." I tell her and she gives me a hug.

"You too." She says, tears appearing in her eyes.

"Hey. I'll see you before you know it. It'll be okay." She nods into my shoulder. We then split and I walk in the direction of where I'm assuming the cornucopia is.

*Line Break*

My knife is in my hand and I'm ready to throw when the Careers notice the smoke. Hopefully, Rue would've already moved on to the second fire.

I'm about to appear the destroy the food when the girl from 5, who looks like a fox, appears and is doing an awkward dance to get to the giant pile of supplies.

At one point, she over jumps and falls. She squeals, as if the ground would've exploded beneath her.

Exploded.

The boy from 3.

Electronics.

I'm piecing it all together when an arrow flies out from about 50 feet to my left.

I clutch my knife, thinking that it's Glimmer. But Glimmer wouldn't have that good of aim.

The arrow hits the bag of apples, ripping it in half. Another arrow comes flying out and I see it all happening in slow motion.

The arrows hitting the bag, causing the apples to all fall out. The apples dropping down to the ground. And then the earsplitting explosion that throws me backwards into a tree.

My ears are ringing, I can't walk, I can't see, I can't sense anything.

I try to sit up but only manage to make myself dizzy. When my vision comes into focus, I see the Careers coming back.

Cato has a fit of rage and begins to rip his hair out. Clove and Marvel just stare at the reckage not knowing what to do.

"You!" Cato bellows, "You said no one would be able to touch it!" He lunges to the boy and before he knows what's happening, his life is over with one twist of Cato's arm.

I cringe at the noise, ringing still going on. Clove and Marvel gesture to the sky. Of course, whoever destroyed it would be dead. The cannon could have been lost in the explosions.

The Careers start digging through the remains and find nothing of their use. Since I very well can't leave until they leave, I just sit there under the bushes I fell into after I hit the tree. Finally, the anthem comes on.

The moment of truth has arrived. Only the District 3 boy appears. They know that whoever set of the explosions is alive. And I think I know who set them off.

*Line break*

In the morning, the Careers set off, looking for tributes to kill. Rue is still out there, as she wasn't in the sky last night. I decide to set out to find her.

I whistle the tune once I think I'm far enough away from the cornucopia and the mockingjay's immediately pick it up.

I travel to the 1st fire. It was lit, which means that she made it here. Then to the second fire. It was lit also.

Then, when I get to the 3rd fire, I find that it wasn't lit. So she is somewhere between the 2nd and 3rd fire. I wander around for a while, constantly whistling the tune.

Then I hear it.

"Madge!" I hear Rue's high pitched voice shriek. I freeze in my tracks.

"Madge! Help!" Rue's in trouble. Rue's in trouble. Have to get to Rue.

"Rue! Rue! I'm coming!" I start sprinting through the trees screaming for Rue.

"Madge!" Rue yells again, and I know that if I don't get there fast enough she could die.

"Rue!" I shout as I come into a clearing. There Rue is, trapped in a net.

I run over and cut her out with my knife, my hands shaking.

"It's okay, you're okay." I say as she latches onto me and gives me a hug.

I hear it. The squawk of the bird.

And the pink birds are coming toward us.

"Madge!" Rue shouts before pushing me out of the way as a pink bird skewers her through the neck.

"Oh, my God. No!" I scream as I take down the birds in an instant. Once I've killed all of them, I run to Rue, who is still hanging on.

"Rue, Rue, it's okay, you're going home." I say, tears streaming down my face and dripping onto hers.

"Madge…" she starts as blood begins to fill her mouth. "Thanks… for… everything." She says quietly, tears streaming down her face. I grasp her hand tightly.

"You're welcome, Rue. I'm so glad I got to know you." I say my voice thick with tears.

"Me too…." She says before trailing off. "The stars. I can see them."

"Yes, there they are." I respond, even though it is daylight and there are no stars in sight.

She shudders one last time before breathing her last breath. I close her eyes, my body being racked with silent sobs.

Her cannon sounds.

That was supposed to be my fate. My fate. That was supposed to be me, I think numbly. She saved me. She saved me, I should've died, and I'm going crazy.

I hear a twig snap and I whip my head around to see Marvel coming toward me with a spear in hand. I chuck my knife at him angrily and it sinks in to his neck. He drops the spear and falls to his knees.

The cannon sounds after.

I just killed someone. A living human being. I killed him. I killed him. I'm a monster.

I look back at Rue and my sobs become more pronounced. They rack my body over and over again.

I start to stand up to leave, but then take Rue's pack, knowing she would want me to have it.

I walk about 10 feet until come into a grove of flowers. I fall into the grove, crying my heart out.

The flowers are so sweet smelling and they totally ruin the day, but I have an idea. I grab as many flowers as I can hold and stagger back to Rue.

I put flowers in her dark brown hair, around her body, in the wound, and then adjust her tiny hands so she is holding the flowers.

I must sit there for ten, fifteen, twenty minutes just decorating her in flowers. I know that the Capitol will want me to clear out so they can collect the bodies. But I don't leave.

I place the last flower in her hair and then kiss her forehead. I stand back and gather my stuff. I then turn to her, with tears still running down my face and give her the symbol of my district.

I turn and walk out of the clearing without looking back, silent tears burning through my skin.

I walk for hours, and the tears finally come to a stop when the full reality of what happened hits me.

_I _was supposed to die. Not Rue. That was meant for me. It's how my aunt died, and it should've been how I died.

The Capitol wants me dead. That's why the birds were sent after us.

I should've died.

I shouldn't be here.

I should be dead.

I fall over against a tree screaming.

I scream and scream until my voice becomes scratchy and it disappears. I'm sure that someone heard it.

But no one comes toward me. It's becoming steadily darker and I look around. The only place for me to go is the trees.

Rue liked trees. The thought makes me want to cry all over again.

I slowly place my hand on the lowest branch and pull myself up onto it. Then I grab the next one. And the next one. And the next one.

Soon enough, I'm high enough in the trees where I can see the Capitol seal beginning to show. I know who will be in the sky tonight, but I still watch.

First comes Marvel. And then Rue.

"Goodbye Rue…" I whisper to myself, knowing she's gone, but in a better place.

Her picture fades, and tears threaten to fall again, but I don't let them.

I know that back in District 11, her family is in a worse state then me.

Her brothers and sisters are not going to be able to sleep for a while and her parent…. Oh her parents. I've seen the grief of families after their children have died in the Hunger Games.

Now I know how it feels.

And it's not a good feeling.

* * *

**A/N: I hated writing this chapter, but i liked the outcome. I hope i captured the sadness well. **

**And i would just like to say this: Even if i dont respond to your review, i do read _every single one_. Just thought i'd get that out there(: **

**Review please(:**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Longest by far.**

My eyes fly open as I wake up panting from my nightmare. It was Rue, being pierced by the bird.

I'm frantically looking around when a parachute lands in my lap. I open it cautiously.

It's bread. I stare at it, in shock. Why would people send me bread? I take a deep whiff of it. It smells like grain and… Home. I'm still staring at it when I see the note wrapped up inside of the parachute. I pull it out.

District 11. –H

So District 11 sent me this? Why? I did nothing for them… Wait. Rue. I figured they would hate me because I came out of that alive and Rue didn't.

I slowly break the bread into small bites and force myself to eat. I honestly just want to go home. Dead or alive. I want to go home.

I force myself to eat some bread and drink some water before I pack up my pack and prepare to climb down the tree.

Once my pack is secured tightly on my back, I place my left foot on the branch below me, and I slip and fall.

I land on my feet. Big mistake. There is a sickening crack and I know my left ankle is broken. I cry out in pain and then crumple to the ground clutching my ankle.

Is it supposed to be bent like that? I ask myself and then decide that it's not supposed to be like this. It's almost halfway twisted around and is already swelling.

Then the trumpets blare.

Please, let it be over. Please. Maybe everyone died last night and I didn't. Please let it be over.

"Hello tributes of the 74th Hunger Games." Claudius Templesmith begins and I sigh. People are still alive. "The rule of only one victor has been suspended. There can be two victors of the same district. Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor."

The voice shuts off. The arena is dead silent. The announcement sinks into my brain. I can live. Gale can live. We can _both _live.

My eyes widen and my mouth slightly hangs open in shock. They've never had a rule change. Ever. Maybe theyre feeling sentimental.

Gale. I have to find Gale.

I sigh and look down at my ankle. There is no way I'm walking five feet on this thing. I guess I could try to walk and just lean against trees and such.

I grit my teeth and use the lowest branches of the wretched tree to pull myself up. I step down on it gingerly. It takes all my might not to cry in pain. This is going to be a long day.

I limp through the trees and brush, only stopping to drink water and rest my ankle. I've had to rest a lot.

I think back to who is left. There's me, Gale, Cato, Clove, the red-headed girl, and Thresh. Thresh…. I wonder how he's holding up with Rue and everything. He was like an older brother to her. Gosh, that must be awful. I know that Cato and Clove will be looking for me and Gale, the last remaining team. Theyre probably stalking us now. The thought makes me get back up and keep walking slowly.

I wonder where they are now. Hopefully, far away from me. And I'm praying that Gale is close because I can hardly walk.

A few hours pass of the same routine. Walking, resting, getting up, walking, repeat. I sit back down with the pain having becoming so great I can hardly stand.

A parachute comes down. I open it and all that's in it is a small knife. So small it could fit in a pocket of my pants. I read the note.

You're so close, Maysilee. –H

I stare at it, waiting for Haymitch to understand his mistake. How long is going to get him to freaking realize that my name is Madge! And so close to what? I'm puzzling over this when I hear something.

And that's when the 1st knife comes whizzing into the tree next to me. She's found me, and I'm going to die.

I grunt as I stand up, fear and adrenaline surging through my veins once again. I start sprinting through the trees ignoring the stinging pain in my left ankle.

I hear Clove running after me, laughing. I turn around quickly to see another knife coming at my head. I duck quickly, causing myself to trip over a tree branch.

I try to jump back up and as I do, Clove lunges on top of me, causing both of us to go rolling down the small hill that wasn't there a second ago.

We're both screaming and yelling and clawing at each other and I'm hoping that I end up on top of her at the end of this hill.

No such luck.

She's on top of me and she looks so happy to be so, whereas I probably look completely terrified.

"Hello, Madge." She says evilly, smiling a sickly sweet down at me. "Long time no see, huh?" I'm silent, knowing death is coming.

"You seem to know what's going to happen now do you. I'm going to kill you, very painfully. Oh yes, and no one's going to save you. Not even… What's his name? Gale? Well, Cato is hunting him now. And after you're out of the way, the others will be easy."

I try to unseat her but she is too heavy. She pulls my arms under her legs, as she is straddling me.

"Now. I think I know what I'm going to do." She says, pulling my right arm out from under her and pulling it painfully upwards. "I'm gonna start with this arm. Then go to the other one. Then your legs. And finally your head."

My eyes go wide. She's going to cut off my limbs. One by one. This is torture.

I figure out that the small knife Haymitch sent mere minutes ago is in my packet down by my thighs. I quickly pull it out and stab her in the leg.

"Ow! Oh, now it's really going to hurt. You know your ally? Rue? The little girl who stood no chance? Well, we laughed when she died. We knew you were gonna die quickly after. And now is your chance!" She says loudly, her blood from her leg flowing onto the ground. Now that she has said Rue, I'm angry. I think she can tell.

"Oh, are you angry now?" She mocks in an evil voice. "That will just make your screams even better." My arm is now extended to a very painful point and I know that blade is going to come down soon enough.

"Now, which knife should I use?" She asks herself, not caring if I hear. She pulls a huge knife out of her jacket. "I think I'll use this one. I hope the Capitol is ready for a show."

I close my eyes and brace myself for the pain that's going to come. All at once, it comes.

The knife sliding into my arm and the sickening noise of the blood being splattered everywhere. I can't hold my screams in. I keep screaming as she works her way on my arm.

This hurts, it hurts, it hurts!

She stops for a minute to find a different blade. I take a quick blurry glance at my arm and almost hurl up the bread.

It looks as if it's almost a quarter of the way separated from my body.

The tears burn in my eyes as Clove pulls a giant curved knife out of her jacket. I hear rustling in the bushes around us and assume that it's just an animal watching us. I hope it kills Clove after I'm dead.

She starts again and I can't control my screaming. I scream and I scream until she stops again. I don't dare look at my arm again. I don't even look at her. Just the knife with my blood streaming down it. She puts it down and I think she's going to pull another one out.

I know that I must look weak to all the viewers and I'm sure my dad is staring at the screen in horror, if not have already given up on me. My tears are starting to make their way down my face when something— or someone comes racing out of the trees at Clove. I don't even have enough strength to look up at what's going on, just hearing it is enough.

"Please, no!" I hear Clove scream, actual fear evident in her voice. "Cato! Help! Cato!"

The person growls something and then I hear footsteps backing up. Then the metallic slide of metal on metal. And finally the sickening noise of something entering Clove. She screams one last time and then a cannon sounds.

My first thought is that the cannon was for me, but, then how come I can still see?

Through my blurry eyes a see a face appear over me and I can't quite figure out who it is.

They try to move my arm and I scream again. Then, they slowly pick me up and start running away from the scene. My ankle and arm are both throbbing.

I'm going to die. I'm absolutely sure of it. Something wet hits my face and I think that it's rain. But it tastes like salt. It might be my tears, I'm not sure.

I use my other arm to try and clutch my bleeding, throbbing arm and I manage to get hold of it but it hurts too much and when I pull my hand away it's coated in bright red blood.

The sight of it makes me want to hurl, but I'm weak enough as it is.

Suddenly, the world around me in growing dark and I'm fading away, thinking I'm dying.

* * *

When I open my eyes, I hear a steady drip of water coming from above me, and my arm and ankle are both still throbbing painfully. It takes a minute for my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting where ever I am. Once my eyes adjust, I look around, still lying down. I seem to be in a cave. There is a tall figure sitting at the mouth of the cave with a bow in their hand.

"Gale?" I croak my voice scratchy and quiet. He turns around, the panic evident in his eyes. They soften when he seems me awake. He makes his way over to me so he's sitting next to me.

"Hey." He says quietly, as if afraid I'd start screaming again.

"W-water." I say quietly, trying to sit up but he pushes me back down.

"No. Stay. I got it." He gets up and moves over to where the backpacks are. I can tell which one is mine because of the blood on it. He comes back to me and holds the bottle to my lips to allow me to drink.

After one sip I begin to feel sick.

"What… What happened?" I ask uncertainly.

"I heard you screaming and went to find you. Then, when I saw what Clove was doing, and the tears in your eyes, something snapped and I attacked Clove. She's dead now." He replies, looking away when he tells me Clove is dead. "And then, I got you back here. You've been out two days."

"T-two d-days?" I stutter at him. He nods.

"You hungry?" I shake my head.

"You need to eat, Madge. You haven't eaten in two days." He says gently, trying to coax food into me.

"I'm not hungry, Gale." His eyes give me a puzzling look and then he puts his hand on my forehead.

"You're sick. That's why." I sigh, and just that one gesture makes me dizzy. I blink as I try to regain focus on him.

I wince as I try to adjust my position. Then I remember about my ankle. I try to reach down to look at it when Gale stops me.

"Madge, I already wrapped it. It's broken alright." I groan as he continues. "And your arm…" I glance down at my arm to find blood staining the white bandages.

"How bad is it? Just show me. I can take it." He sighs and begins to unwrap the bandages with me wincing every time he removes a layer.

Finally he gets it off and I close my eyes before looks at it.

What I see makes me want to pass out again.

The cut is really, really deep and is oozing pus and blood. The skin around it has become a pasty yellow color and it's giving off a smell that reeks. There is a ton of ripped flesh, sliced veins and a ton of mush that I can't describe.

"Blood poisoning." He says and I nod. "It needs stiches." I stare at it, knowing what he means.

"Just get it over with." I say bitterly. I know that it's going to hurt.

"Okay, whatever you say, Madge. It's going to hurt." He says as he rummages around in his backpack for a case with thread, a needle, and some antiseptic.

"Where'd you get that?" I ask, curious, as I'm almost positive it wouldn't be in a backpack.

"Haymitch. He sent it a minute before you started screaming. He seemed to know what was going to happen."

"Oh." I whisper, as I brace myself for the needle that is about to pierce my skin.

"Ready?" He asks, while holding up the needle to try and thread it. "I've never done this before, so I'm apologizing in advance." I nod and he moves to my arm.

He starts with the antiseptic and dabs at my wound, causing me to wince each time it hits my skin. He then gets a strip of bandages and presses them down on my arm. The blood blossoms on it very quickly.

"Ready?" Gale asks, and I know he's referring to the thread and needle. I nod, my hands clenched in fists and my teeth gritting together.

He pushes the two slices of skin back together and I yelp in pain. Then the needle goes into my skin and I'm hissing. He weaves it in and out of the wound, with each time the needle is inserted into my skin, I hiss even louder. By the end of it, my stomach is rolling, my vision is fading, and I can't really breathe.

After the last stitch is inserted into my skin and it's tied off, I lean my head back against the wall, panting, my eyes squeezed shut.

"Almost done, Madge." He grunts and I don't even try to respond. He bandages the wound and then sits back next to me.

"That… Sucked." I hiss shakily. I don't even have to open my eyes to know that he thought the same thing.

"Sorry. Told you I was no good at that." He says gruffly.

"It's okay." I sigh, even though I know very well that it's not okay. I'm still hurt, still have a fever, and still have blood poisoning.

I use my other arm to rub my eyes. "Promise me that you will never do that again." I say, looking at him.

"Promise. I hope I won't be doing that ever again. So what have you been up to?"

I sigh again before trying to piece together everything that had happened in the past… How many days has it been? I don't know. "Umm… After the gong, R-rue and I got together and just ran." I say, my voice catching on Rue's name. "Then about a day after, there was a fire and we got burned. Haymitch sent medicine, which I don't know what happened to that. The Careers found us and trapped us in a tree. Someone cut down the nest. We both got stung. I started hallucinated way before she did, and I'm not sure if this was a hallucination, but you were there." Gale looks amused when I mention this. "Stop laughing!" I exclaim, smiling for the first time in days.

"Sorry. Go on." He says, still trying to stifle his laugh.

"Shut up. Anyways, I woke up and we decided to take out the Careers food." I explain our plan and what happened at the Cornucopia. "I didn't know who set it off, but I had a good idea." I say, looking pointedly at him.

"Fine, it was me."

"I knew it!" I exclaim pointing at him. He gestures for me to go on. "Well, after that I tried to go find Rue again and… I did find her. A-a p-pink bird k-killed h-h-her." I say, my voice stuttering when I get to the part about the birds. I can see it so clearly like it just happened again.

I find myself not able to go on after I tell about Rue's death. The tears are back, and they form in my eyes, making my vision blurry.

"Oh, Madge…" Gale begins and he wraps his arms around me. I bury my face into his shoulder while I cry. I realize that his arm is uncomfortable against my shoulder

I start to moan in pain and he releases me. I still can't really see anything.

"You should go to sleep, Madge." He says gently.

"I'm not t-tired." I say, while trying to stifling a yawn.

He looks at me, raising one eyebrow. "Fine, I'm tired. But you haven't sleep in what, two days?"

"I'll be fine. Just go to bed."

"Gale." I start to protest, but he cuts me off.

"Go to bed, Madge. You're sick. We can switch later." I huff at him and glare. He glares back. I cower under his glare.

"Fine." I mutter and edge my way back down to a sleeping position.

I listen to the steady pounding of rain above us and wonder what the Gamemakers are planning for the rest of us. Probably something horrible.

It takes me about twenty seconds to fall asleep. And once again, I'm haunted by nightmares. Will they ever cease?

* * *

When I wake up, I feel even worse, if possible. My head is spinning, my breathing shallow, and my vision is still blurry. At least the rain stopped.

I try to sit up but that just causes a new wave of nausea to come.

Gale sees me awake. "Oh, God. You got worse."

"Really? Because I thought I was completely better." I say sarcastically. He must know I'm irritated.

Then I see him basically falling asleep sitting there and he's desperately trying to keep himself awake.

"Gale, did I sleep the entire night?"

"No." He says unconvincingly.

"Gale! You were supposed to wake me up!" I sit up while fuming.

"I didn't want to okay?" He says irritably.

"Fine." I'm about to continue when I dissolve into a fit of coughs and sneezes. I fall to my uninjured side and keep coughing into the backpack next to me.

When I finally stop coughing, or when I think I do, I rise again, to find Gale looking at me, worried.

"You okay?" He asks.

"I'm fi—"And that's all I say before I dissolve into another fit of coughs. When I can finally breathe again, Gale is next to me giving me some water.

"I'm not thirsty."

He stares at me and his face becomes stricken with horror. "You're really sick, Madge." I just keep coughing. "God, Haymitch! Do something!" He shouts to the sky desperately.

I doubt anything was going to come and I was right.

"Idiot…" He says more to himself to me. "He doesn't realize that you're on your death bed."

"Glad to know you think I'm going to die." I huff before turning away from him and lay back down on my uninjured side. Those words made tears burn in my eyes. Will I _ever_ stop crying?

"Madge…" He says, his voice pained. I stay where I am though. He crawls over to me.

"Madge." He says again, his voice gentler this time.

"It's great to know that the only person in this arena who doesn't want to kill me thinks I'm going to die anyways." My voice is shaking with tears. His arms wrap around my waist and he pulls me up to sit in his lap despite my protests.

"Madge, I don't want you to die. You won't die. I swear to it." He whispers in my ear and that just makes the tears actually fall.

"Then why did you just say that I was on my death bed?" I croak at him.

"I don't know. I just wanted Haymitch to help. I'm not going to let you die, and if it was his fault that you died, I'd never forgive him." He whispers again.

"I just want to go home." I helplessly say.

"I know, I do too. And we will okay?" He says as he turns my face to face his. He wipes the tears off of my face. He starts to lean in and I do the same, but I'm not exactly thinking. Our lips are centimeters away from each other when the trumpets blare.

"Shit!" Gale yells and lunges for his bow as I lunge for the knife.

"Hello tributes of the 74th Hunger Games! I am glad to announce that there will be a feast at the cornucopia tomorrow at dawn." I lay back down, knowing we won't go. A free-for-all with Cato and Thresh chasing us? I don't think so.

"Now, hold on. Some of you might already be declining the invitation. But this is no ordinary feast. Each of you needs something desperately." Gale looks toward my arm. I know what he's thinking. "Each of you will find that something in a backpack marked with your district number, at the Cornucopia, at dawn. Think hard about refusing to show up. For some of you, this will be your last chance." Then the voice shuts off.

"No. You are not going. I won't let you." I say, as he's gathering his arrows.

"Do you really think you can convince me not to go? Like he said 'It may be your last chance.' I'm going, and you can't stop me."

"Gale!" I protest, but not before he cuts me off.

"You would do the same for me." I silent myself, knowing it's true. "Exactly."

"At least get some sleep." I protest, knowing that he's going on about an hour of sleep.

"Fine." He accepts, and then grudgingly starts to lie down. I start to struggle my way out of the sleeping bag but he's already asleep on the blanket. I knew he was tired.

I smile at his sleeping form. He looks a lot younger when he sleeps. I wonder what everyone at home thinks of this. About the 2 victors. And how we have a chance to come home.

* * *

The moon starts to disappear and I know that Gale will have to leave soon. He wakes up just as i'm dozing off.

"Madge?" My eyes open. He's sitting in front of me, looking anxious. "I'm going to go now."

I nod shakily. We both know that there is a chance that he might not come back. At this thought, i throw myself into his arms, dispite the major pain in my arm.

"Hey... It's okay. I'm going to come back, got it?" He says gently. I nod, still worried.

"Don't worry." He says, trying to smile, but it turns into a grimace. "Bad choice of words. Sorry."

I stare down at my lap, still freaking out inside.

He tips my chin up. "I'll see you before you know it, okay?" I nod, and then he kisses me. I look up and he's gone.

Now, all I can do is wait.

* * *

** A/N: Well, there ya go. This chapter is my favorite, besides Clove. I mean after that, haha(: The feast is coming. I was really thinking of ending the chapter like way earlier but I couldn't resist so I kept it going(: you're welcome(:**

**Also, i will be out of town most of July, so if I dont update, it's not because i gave up on the story, it's because i'm out of town(: thoughts?**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Does anyone read these?**

* * *

The next few hours are agony. I can't stand not knowing what's going on. Every minute that ticks by makes me more nervous. About halfway through the hours, I hear a cannon. I actually yelp when I hear it.

By the end of the waiting, I'm about to fall asleep. I'm dizzy, my head hurts, I can't feel my arm anymore, my stomach is rolling again and I'm feeling really faint. I know that if Gale was the one who died, then I'll die pretty quickly.

I'm half asleep and the pain in my arm has pretty much peaked in me being able to handle it when I hear someone stagger into the cave.

It's Gale.

"Thank God." I say weakly, barely able to talk. He seems to realize what state I'm in because he sits down and fumbles to open the zipper that holds whatever is in there. It's a syringe and it's filled with medicine.

He pushes the syringe into my injured arm and leans back against the wall, panting.

Then I see the big gash across his left arm. His jacket is still on except it's soaked with blood.

"What happened!" I ask in shock, still weak.

"Cato." He says.

"I got that! What happened Gale?" I practically shout at him.

"The girl from 5 went out before any of us. I haven't seen her once since the beginning of the Games. Then I went out to get the backpack. Thresh comes out at the same time. We grab the backpacks and decide whether to take Cato's or not. Before we could decide that, Cato comes out of nowhere and attacks us." He says, his breathing returning to normal as he talks. "Thresh and I were both holding off Cato and then Cato slashed me and he went to Thresh. Thresh chucked me his backpack and told me to get out of there. I tried to help Thresh, but every time I got near them, Thresh would tell me to go. He told me to tell you that he said thanks."

"Why?" I ask, puzzled.

"Your guess is as good as mine. He yelled something about Rue, I think."

"Oh." I sighed. "So you're assuming the cannon was for Thresh?"

"Yeah. Do we have any bandages?"

"I'll get them."

"Madge, you're hurt."

"Well, now you are. It's my turn to take care of you." I turn around smirking, as I rummage through the backpacks until I find bandages.

I find some bandages and tape and crawl back over as my ankle is still broken, or I think it is.

"Take off your jacket." I tell him. He does as he's told, except he winces when the jacket parts from the skin.

Theres the cut, right there in front of me. It's not as bad as my shoulder one, but it's pretty bad.

"I'm just gonna wrap it, I guess?" I ask him. He shrugs, with difficulty. I press the two pieces of skin together and he winces. I put a single bandage on the wound and then wrap more bandages around it.

"That's the best I can do, I guess."

"Okay then." He says, and I lay back down on my back. Gale scoots over and lies down next to me.

"What're you doing?" I ask, looking at him.

"Lying down, what does it look like?" He says smirking.

We lay there in silence for a little thinking about today's events when Gale speaks up out of the blue.

"Did you always think I was some hostile Seam guy?"

"Where did that come from?"

"I don't know. Just wondering."

"When you would come to my house with Katniss, you always seemed sullen and hostile and never tried to make any conversation, except for the day of the reaping. I did think you were just a terrible Seam boy. Then I saw you with your family. My impression of you changed. Did you always think I was some Town brat?"

He sits up and leans on one arm before answering. "God, no, Madge. I never thought you were like that. I knew you weren't."

"Then why did you act all cold and mean to me all the time?" I wonder aloud.

"I don't know. Maybe so people wouldn't question it."

"Question what?"

"Why I came to your house every other day."

"But that was for…"

"No, it wasn't." He lowers his voice to a whisper. "I didn't just go to bring you strawberries. I went to see you." I look up into his stormy grey eyes and know it's the truth.

I smile. "Want to hear the truth?" He nods. "I don't even like strawberries."

Suddenly, we're both laughing at each other. By the time we're done laughing, my head ends up lying on his stomach and he's playing with my hair.

"Hey, Madge?"

"Yeah?

"About what I said to you before the reaping, as soon as you were picked, I felt horrible. I didn't mean it, and I never expected it to happen."

"It's okay, Gale. No one expected it, I think." I say sitting up to lean against the wall next to him.

I start to nod off just sitting there and my head falls to Gale's shoulder. I hear him chuckle before intertwining his hand with mine.

And then, right as I'm falling asleep, I feel him kiss my forehead.

* * *

When I wake up, I feel really, really, warm. My first thought is that the medicine didn't work and that I'm sick again.

Then, I feel an arm wrapped around my waist. I tilt my head up to find myself curled up right against Gale and our ankles are wrapped together. I want to lie like this forever, but I remember I'm in the Hunger Games.

And I'm really hungry.

Oh, the irony of this is killing me.

I slowly peel myself away from Gale and crawl over to the backpacks. As I'm opening it up, a huge parachute flies in.

"Now you come through, Haymitch?" I whisper to myself. I open the parachute to find a note.

There you go. Gorge yourselves. –H

I look at the note for a minute and then go on to opening the parachute.

What I see makes me gasp and drop the parachute. It's food. Actual food and water. I crawl back over to Gale and shake his shoulder to get him to wake up. His eyes open and he looks at me sleepily.

"Hi." He says sleepily.

"Haymitch sent us something." HE sits up.

"Now he pulls through?" He says grumpily. I nod as we both crawl back over to the parachute.

"Oh my God." He says staring at the food and water.

"I know." I respond.

"Should we eat it?" He asks, looking at me.

"Of course we should eat it. It's not poisoned, or I think it's not." HE smiles and then takes the bread and breaks it in half and gives me one half. I use my injured arm to take it. I stop when I'm extending my arm.

Gale's eyes are flickering from my face to my shoulder. I quickly remove my jacket and unwrap the bandages.

The skin is healed over and it's a pink, as if it's a newborn baby's skin. My mouth opens and I look back at Gale.

"It's healed!" He shouts.

"I know!" I shout back smiling. He crawls over and looks at it.

"What do we do about the stiches?"

"Leave them there, I've had enough pain to last me a lifetime." I say, still smiling. He looks at me before pulling my face in. Oh, God, the butterflies are back. He kisses me, soft and gently. When he pulls away we both smile sheepishly.

"We will go home. I swear to it. Okay?" He says quietly, after he pulls me into a hug.

"Okay." I mumble into his shoulder. Oh, my God. Gale Hawthorne just kissed me. He kissed me. Oh my God.

"Shall we eat?" He says, gesturing to the pile of food that is now in our cave.

"Yeah. I'm actually hungry now."

"Well, I know that you're feeling better when you want to eat." He says, smiling at me. We both start to eat when Gale brings something up.

"Back in the Capitol, Haymitch kept calling you Maysilee. Who's Maysilee?"

I drop my gaze.

"I'm not trying to pry, I'm just wondering." He says hastily.

It takes me a while to get my courage up so I can respond. "Maysilee is my dead aunt. She was in the 50th Hunger Games with Haymitch. They were allies until they broke it off. About five minutes after they broke it off, a pink bird came and killed her. Everyone says I look like her, but I don't believe it." I finish in almost a whisper. "That's why I freaked out about the pink birds that killed Rue. That was supposed to be what happened to me. Rue jumped in front of me and saved me. I owe her my life, and I'll never be able to repay the favor."

Outside the cave has become oddly quiet, as if everything in the forest was listening to me. My gaze is still shifted downwards when I feel Gale's arms wrap around me.

"God, Madge. I'm sorry." He murmurs into my ear. I just nod; the memory of Rue's death fresh in my mind.

"We can win it for her. Win it for Rue." He says and I nod again. He pulls me back on his lap and I lean back onto his warm chest.

"Haven't we been here before?" He whispers, and I smile and nod. "Well, it ends differently this time." He turns me around and tilts me head up and leans in to kiss me. His hands travel to my waist and mine travel to his neck. His mouth opens to deepen the kiss that mine does to. I press myself against him, trying to stay this way forever.

He finally breaks away and we're both panting from lack of air.

"You know, you aren't supposed to kiss a sick person." I say smirking at him.

"Well, you aren't sick anymore."

"Oh, shut up." I mutter before he starts playing with my hair.

I give him a strawberry and he laughs. "A strawberry? Out of everything in the parachute, you give me a strawberry?" He fakes annoyance and then eats it anyways.

He offers me one and I shake my head. "I don't like them remember?" He smirks at me before eating that one.

* * *

As we are both lying in the cave with our arms around each other and the sunlight streaming through the cracks in the cave, I suddenly have a thought.

"What's it like having siblings?" I ask Gale on the day after the feast. As I am an only child, I don't know about it.

He sighs before answering. "It's fun, I guess. I mean, sometimes they can really get on my nerves and stuff, but most of the times its fun."

I shift so I'm facing him. "Sounds fun." I say bitterly.

"What's wrong?" He asks me, looking completely puzzled.

"It's just, I've never really had any one to call a friend and I've always been kind of a loner and Rue was the closest thing I've had to a sibling, and when she died, I kind of just lost any sense that any one wanted me around." I shrug and he looks appalled that I even suggest that.

"Don't ever think that. Someone always wants you around. Someone needs you around. _I_ need you around." He says, tipping my chin up so I have to peer into his eyes that always intrigue me. "Don't ever think that no one needs you, because I will always need you." He finishes before pulling me into a kiss. It's soft and gentle but even that makes my heart go up and down inside me.

After we pull away from each other, I think something horrible. "Don't ever leave me." I mutter to him.

"Never." He mutters back and we both succumb to sleep with our arms wrapped around each other and our ankles together.

* * *

As I wake up with my back pressed to Gale's chest and our hands together. I want to stay like this forever and just not move, but then I remember that we're in the Hunger Games, and people will want blood. We're also out of food.

I turn slightly and kiss Gale to get him to wake up.

"Good morning." He says, smiling, before kissing my nose. I still get butterflies when he even smiles at me, so this is making my insides go in circles.

"Hi." I say quietly. As we have both been healing up for the past two days, I'm sure we could go hunting. "We have no more food. Should we go hunt?" I ask him.

"Five more minutes." He says before trying to go back to sleep.

"Gale…" I groan. The audience will want action, not just us sitting around. "Please?" I beg.

He gives in. "Fine." He grumbles and I smile. We gather everything that is in the cave. I have a feeling that today is one of the last days in the arena. Either dead or alive, I'm going home pretty soon.

We walk down from the cave. As I haven't been out in the sunshine for days, I squint up at the sun but then my eyes quickly adjust.

We start to hunt, with Gale in front using the bow and me in the back trying to be as quiet as possible with my ankle.

Eventually, we decide that Gale would do better on his own than with me trailing him. He tells me to gather some edible plants and stuff, but to stay away from the nightlock.

"Of course I'm going to stay away from it. I don't want to die now." I say as he pulls me in for a hug.

"Just be careful." He murmurs and then kisses the top of my head.

I smile. "When am I not?"

We both part ways and I start to gather berries and plants when I hear it. A girl screams. Theres only one other girl left in the arena and it's not me. It's the girl from 5.

And she's coming toward me.

I'm almost positive that Cato is following the girl. And once he kills her, he'll find me.

I'm running around in circles frantically trying to find a place to hide in, when I run into Gale.

"Gale!" I gasp. "I thought you were Cato!"

"I heard the scream and thought it was you so I started to try and find you. Oh, God, I thought it was you." He says before he pulls me into a hug.

"I'm fine, Gale. It wasn't me." I hear the scream again and I'm positive it's about to come near us.

"Climb!" Gale shouts helping me over to a tree. I hesitate, as last time I was in a tree I almost killed myself. "Go!" Gale shouts again, and I start to climb as fast as I can without hurting myself.

I find a sturdy branch that could hold both of us and Gale pulls himself up right as the girl appears, skinny and dirty as the bear comes following her.

The bear is giant and has dark black fur and beady, enraged black eyes. It raises its paw as the girl falls against a tree and I know what is going to happen before it happens.

The bear slashes at the girls face, leaving 4 big gashes that immediately start flowing blood. She puts her hands up to her face to protect it, but the bear doesn't go for her head. It goes for her stomach.

After it slashes her stomach, the blood flows again and her insides start to fall out. She tries so hard to put them back into herself, but it's no use.

I can only stare in horror as she dies, trying to shove her insides back inside of her stomach.

I feel Gale shift behind me and then there's an arrow in the bears head.

My eyes are wide with fear and shock when I realize that there are three of us left. Me, Gale, and Cato.

I turn to Gale to see him staring grimly at the girl.

"Let's go." He says simply. We start to climb down, me after Gale, and when I slip coming down the tree because of my ankle, he catches me.

"Thanks." I mutter quietly and he nods and puts me down. As we slowly start to walk, my ankle gives out and Gale has to half carry me away from the scene.

All I can think is that the end is coming and that either of us could die from Cato, or anything. That one of us could go home without the other. That neither of us may go home. That one of us could be stuck in the world without the other. If I go home without him, I will never actually go home. He is home.

* * *

**A/N: This is sort of a filler chapter, but sort of not. The end is coming...**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: The end has come.**

* * *

We decide to go to the Cornucopia, as that's probably where Cato will be and we just want to end it.

We keep up steady talk about home and just anything other than what's to come.

By the time we get there, Gale has me laughing and smiling, other than frowning and crying. Eventually, we get to the Cornucopia and go over to the lake to replenish our water bottles. He helps me sit down on a rock by the lake and I hear him wade into the lake to get water.

I bring my knees up to my chest and just try to shrink into the ground, wanting it all to be over.

Then, I feel a jet of icy water run down my head and I whip my head around to find Gale, laughing because he dumped the water on my head.

"Gale Hawthorne!" I shout and then struggle my way to the lake to splash him with the icy water. I miss of course, and he splashes me again. We sit there in a battle trying to splash each other when Gale takes my hand.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to teach you how to swim." He says before picking me up and carrying me into the lake.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up. You're going to do what now?" I ask, terrified.

"Teach you how to swim." He says before setting me down in the shallow part.

"I don't think…" I start to begin, but he cuts me off.

"We have time, Madge."

"That's not it…"

"Well, then what is it?" He asks, faking annoyance.

"I just don't really want to." I finish lamely than rather telling him the real reason. When I was younger, I nearly drowned, and since then, I haven't been able to get the courage to try again.

"Well, you're going to."

"Please, no, Gale. Please." I practically beg him.

"Nope, you're going to learn." He says stubbornly.

"God, when I heard you were stubborn, I didn't think you were this stubborn!" I protest and he rolls his eyes.

"Lie down on your back." I start to shake my head when he continues. "I'm not going to let go of you." I groan before doing as he said. "There you go. It's not that hard now is it?"

"Shut up." I growl at him and he laughs. His hands are on the small of my back supporting me in the water.

"See? You're floating."

"Your hands are on my back, stupid." I hiss at him.

He sighs and pulls his hands out from under me. "No, no they aren't. You're floating." He says, smiling. "Here, try to kick your legs and move your arms." I shake my head no, because that's how I almost died the first time.

"Come on it's easy!" I start to protest but eventually I give in and start to try it and I'm moving around.

'"There you go." He says smiling.

"Okay, now that I've swam can I please not anymore?" I ask, exasperated.

He huffs before responding. "Fine." He starts to walk away, leaving me in the water.

"What are you going to do?" I ask him.

"Fish." He says.

"And how will you do that?" He answers by grabbing his bow notching an arrow at something in the water and then shooting. He pulls out the arrow with a fish on it.

"See?" He says, smirking.

"Fine, you know how to fish." He smirks again. I roll my eyes, feeling that tickling sensation in my stomach that I get every time that I'm around Gale. It seems… Different this time though. Before I can ponder what this means, something latches onto my ankle.

My eyes go wide. "Ga—" I start, but don't get to finish, as I'm dragged underwater too quickly and end up swallowing a ton of lake water.

Underwater, I'm thrashing around crazily. One minute, I was safe above water, and the next I'm underwater being crushed by the weight of the water. I need air, I need air, I need air! I think vaguely.

My lungs are screaming for air and my only thought is that I'm going to die. Whatever is pulling me down is not letting go. I don't know which way is which, up, down, left, right, I don't know. I opened my mouth to try and scream and my throat burned when the icy jet of water is hitting my throat like a thousand needles stabbing into my esophagus.

It feels as if walls are caving in on me, I'm feeling claustrophobic; it feels like I have a noose around my neck.

I'm still thrashing except not as hard as I know the end is coming. All I can see is red and all I can hear is my fading heartbeat.

I sense nothing except the burning sensation in my lungs.

The grip on my ankle releases and then something slips around my waist as I'm being dragged one way and then the next and then my last thought is either I'm dead, or pretty damn close to it.

* * *

You know those times where you think you hear something but you aren't sure if it's real? Well, that's how I feel now.

I can't tell if the beating I hear is my heart or drums.

I can't tell if the bright color is light, or just a figment of my imagination.

I can't tell if the thing I feel wrapped on my wrist is seaweed or a hand.

I can't tell if the thing I taste is blood or squirrel.

I can't tell if I'm dead or alive. I can't sense.

I can't sense. I must be dead.

I vaguely hear someone speaking and I think that it is God. He's always with me; it must be him, bringing me to death.

* * *

Then, I'm sputtering and gasping for air as my eyes fly open. Next, I'm vomiting up all of the water that inserted itself into my lungs.

I'm then clutching my arms and digging my nails into them as I try to forget the memory. I'm coughing and sputtering and gasping and I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't breathe.

My head is pounding, my heart is pumping, my lungs are being crushed still and I'm shocked that I'm even alive.

I can't even being to think of what happened when I'm being tackled into a hug by someone almost twice my size.

"Madge!" The person yells and I can't focus, I can't focus, I can't focus on who the hell it is. I try to keep breathing but end up almost hacking up a lung. I roll to my side and keep hacking and coughing and sputtering before I'm being pulled into a bone crushing hug.

"Oh, God Madge. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry. I never should've made you. I thought when you disappeared that Cato got you. I thought you were gone." The person pulls away and I force myself to focus on the orbs of gray and brown that are staring at me intently.

I begin to cough again as it all comes rushing back to me.

Oh, right. Swimming. Drowning. Fun.

I double over onto my knees, still coughing my lungs out.

Suddenly, I'm being forced to drink something and I'm afraid that it's more water. It sure doesn't taste like water. It tastes like tar or something. I'm gagging on it when I finally swallow. The pain in my chest immediately eases and I can finally focus on the world. The tears in my eyes make it difficult, but finally, I can focus on the worried face in front of me.

"G-Gale?" I manage to cough out. He nods and then pulls me into another bone crunching hug.

"W-what h-h-happened?" I stutter quietly before I start coughing over his shoulder.

"Something dragged you under. I don't know what it was. I looked back at you and you were gone. I thought Cato had gotten you somehow. This is all my fault." He says into my hair and I can only cough and cough. Gale continues. "When I didn't see you, I panicked. I ran out into the water and saw you thrashing around with something hanging onto your ankle. I got you out and you had no pulse." His voice cracks in the next sentence. "I thought you were dead."

Now this really makes the tears fall. I'm crying and coughing and stuttering. Gale turns me around so I'm sitting in his lap as I cry.

"I told you it wasn't a good idea!" I try to shout but end up squeaking it.

"I know, I know. I forced you too, It's all my fault." I feel his heartbeat, fast and frantic and his breath on my neck is fast and ragged.

I can only sit there, waiting as my breathing becomes almost normal again, and my heartbeat becomes slower and the pounding in my head ceases.

"Oh, God, Madge, I'm so sorry. I had no clue it was going to happen. If you would've died," His voice cracks on the word, "I would've never forgiven myself."

And it's in that single moment that I know that I am in love with Gale Hawthorne.

I don't know how I know, I just got an overwhelming feeling in my chest and I knew.

I turn around instantly and kiss him, full on the mouth. He seems shocked at first, but then kisses me back. After a full two minutes we break apart.

"What was that for?" He whispers, looking down at me.

"Thank you." I whisper back before burying my face into his chest, hugging him tightly.

He laughs before wrapping his arms around me. We stay like this for several minutes until we hear it.

The pounding of a single pair of feet and the howling of wolves.

Gale looks at me, horror struck. "This is it." I know what he means. It's the end. The finale. The thing that determines whether or not I go home.

We try to move but we are tangled up in each other so we end up falling, Gale onto my bad ankle.

I howl in pain and Gale looks terrible.

"Come on, Madge!" He shouts while trying to apologize for falling on me and I grit my teeth and stand up, trying to ignore the screaming pain in my ankle. I'm limping after him as he gets further and further away from me and the howls are getting closer and closer.

Gale makes it to the Cornucopia and starts to climb when he realizes how far behind I am. I try to hurry up and get there but the pain has reached a peak that I can no longer feel anything from my ankle down. Eventually, Gale takes pity on me and starts to help me get to the Cornucopia.

"Climb!" he shouts and he boosts me up onto the first ridge of the Cornucopia. I desperately try to only use my arms to swing myself up to the top, but it's no use. I have to use my legs. I grunt in pain as I pull myself up to the top and collapse onto it as Gale makes his way up.

He's about to say something when Cato burst out of the trees, bloody and ripped up slightly. He actually looks terrified.

He starts to climb the Cornucopia and Gale pushes me behind him as the dogs appear. There are several, all varying in size and shape. There are some with bright fur and some with dark fur. Some with brown eyes and some with green eyes.

There is one with blonde fur and green eyes. Where have I seen those eyes before? I have no time to figure this out as the first mutt jumps incredibly high up and almost jumps on me, but I whip out my knife and skewer it through the heart.

It has red fur and hazel eyes. Hazel eyes? Dogs don't have hazel eyes…

The voice in the back of my head is screaming at me to understand that these dogs aren't dogs. They're mutts. I glance around and quickly count. There are twenty one of them. There's three tributes left.

The mutts are fallen tributes.

"Mutts!" I shout. "They're mutts!" Gale turns around and sees the red one that resembles the girl from 5.

Cato is almost all the way up the Cornucopia, and I know when he does, it might mean our possible doom.

The mutts all start to climb and Gale and I hack away on them, trying to take down the mutts but every time we take down one, another takes its place. The pain in my ankle is searing away again, but this is more important. The one I begin to fight is small and has brown eyes.

It's Rue. I scream before falling backwards onto my back and staring at it in horror.

The eyes. They can't be their actual eyes! It can't be!

The sword impales the mutt before I can even think.

Cato has regained his strength. He lunges for me and I squirm out of the way but he catches me and pulls me into a headlock, effectively shutting off my air flow. I keep squirming as his arm tightens around my neck and I'm slowly losing air and feeling faint.

"Either I kill her now, or later. Either way she's going to die." I hear Cato taunt. The mutts are gone. The ones we killed litter the ground but the rest are gone.

Gale turns, an arrow notched into place. I can't breathe, my vision is fading, my head is spinning, and I need air. He pauses, wanting neither of those to happen. I focus at him, everything starting to go red.

"If you aren't going to answer, then I guess it's now." And that's all I hear before I'm rushing towards the ground, still in a headlock by Cato.

We land, me on top of Cato and I break free of his grasp, still panting for air. Screw it, I think to myself before I start sprinting away from Cato, as fast as I can possibly go after almost being strangled to death, towards the ledge.

He follows, bellowing something I can't hear. I wield my knife at him and it looks puny compared to the menacing sword he has in his hands.

"Do you really think you can kill me? You can't kill a crazy person." I realize that he's talking about himself. I look at his eyes. Theyre clouded and insane looking. Cato went crazy. I notice that he is _slightly_ unstable.

"You can't kill me. The only reason I'm here is for my district. Pride for my district." He says, blood pouring out of his mouth. "And now I'm going to kill you.''

He lunges at me and I sidestep only to get sliced by his sword on my leg. I cry in pain, but quickly recover; knowing that any second I waste could mean the end of my life.

I duck just in time as he tries to slit my neck and I feel the whoosh of air as it goes across the top of my head. I then chuck one of my knives at him and it bounces off of his chest.

Shit, he has armor!

"He has armor!" I yell as loud as I can, and in the few seconds it takes me to do that, he slashes my healing arm. I scream and fall, clutching my arm in pain. Cato stands above me his sword point pointed downward at me as I try to squirm away but find it hard to move. I must face death, knowing it's coming now. The sword is about to impale my brain when an arrow tries to hit Cato in the arm. He growls at me and moves to his attacker.

Gale and Cato starts slashing at each other, Cato nearly taking off Gale's head in the process, and Gale abandons the bow and grabs one of my fallen knifes and starts to slash at Cato.

He slashes the side of Cato's face and Cato lets out a yell that would chill a god's blood as his actual blood rolls down the side of his neck.

I crawl as quietly as I can to my other knife and pick it up as Gale shoots me a warning glance while trying to battle Cato and keep an eye on me. I acknowledge his gaze as I shakily stand up on my shaking legs and when Cato's back is turned, I pounce onto his back, trying to slice his face with the knife.

Cato flings me off of his back and I fly to the ground. He turns from Gale and starts to kick my gut viciously over and over again until I'm at the edge of the ledge. He kicks me again and I'm toppling over the ledge, desperately hanging on by my fingers. My arm is screaming in pain and it starts to thunder and lightning.

Rain starts to pour down and all I can see is my fingers starting to bleed from holding on to the rocky ledge. I can only hear sounds of Cato and Gale fighting each other. I'm desperately hoping that Gale comes out of it alive. Please, please, let Cato die.

I almost curse at myself for thinking that thought, as no one deserves to die in the Games. It's sick that I'm thinking this.

I keep hearing shouts of pain and agony as the battle rages on and my hurt arm starts to slip from the ledge. I try to bring it back up but it is too painful.

My feet start clawing at the side of the ledge, desperately trying to get myself up.

I hear one last scream of pain full of agony and then a cannon. I start thrashing around, trying to get up to see what happened, to see who is alive and I'm frantically hoping that it's Gale.

Before I can make my way up, a tanned hand reaches down and grasps my wrist, and for a minute I think it's Cato.

That changes when I see Gale's face hovering above me.

"Gale!" I shout at him before crushing him in a hug. "You're alive." I whisper.

"What, you didn't believe I could win?" He tries to joke, but then I realize that his arm wound has opened again, and he has several deep gashes all along his body.

"Gale..." I start to say but he silences me with a kiss.

"We're going home." He says, smiling, and I feel myself start to smile.

"We're going home." I repeat before giving him another crushing hug. I try to feel happy about going home, but I can't because I know what it cost to get here.

"So why haven't then announced it?" He asks, and at that moment the rain stops and the clouds peel away from the sky. We both look up at the now clear sky.

We're both sitting down on the ground when I suggest it. "Are they waiting for something?" I ask Gale.

"Theyre aren't anymore tributes are there?" He asks me and I quickly tick them off in my mind. All of the tributes are gone, it's just us.

"No, there aren't any left. It's just the two of us."

His eyes go wide in shock and horror before he pulls me in for another hug, shoving my face into his chest just as Claudius Templesmith's voice booms through the arena.

"Gale, I'm trying to hear." I tell him but he doesn't let go. It's as if he doesn't want me to hear it.

I do hear bits and pieces of it though. "Greetings… Final contestants… Earlier revisions… Revoked…. Only one winner… Allowed… Good luck…. Odds in your favor!"

I push away from Gale to find him looking pained. Then I get it. They never intended to let us both live. They want one of us to kill the other. Tears start to brim my eyes and I realize that I can't kill Gale. I'd rather find a way to kill myself before ever killing Gale.

I drop my knife in shock as Gale looks in horror at me. They never wanted us both to live. It was all for show, to make the finale the most depressing and hard that there has ever been.

"This was their plan all along." I whisper to him. He nods and looks down at his hands. "Just kill me." I say to him and he looks up, shocked.

"What?" He practically shouts.

"Just kill me." I yell at him. "Just get it over with." I yell bitterly at him. Before he starts to protest, I continue. "You have a family to go home to! I don't! They need you! I wasn't even supposed to make it this far. It was you and Rue that kept me alive. I was supposed to die a long time ago! I shouldn't be here!" I shout at him.

"Madge…" He says before trying to push a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

I pull away with tears starting to make their way down my already red and chapped face. "Just get it over with."

"I… I can't." He says before turning away and chucking the bow and arrows over the edge.

"If one of us doesn't die soon they'll just send the mutts back to kill one of us or until one of us bleeds to death, and at this rate, it's going to be me!" I shout at him, gesturing to my arm and bleeding fingers. "They have to have their victor." I mutter after.

"You know what? No, they don't." He says angrily before stalking off into the woods. I don't have enough strength to even follow. I start to feel faint and try to stanch the flow of my blood into my jacket when Gale comes back, carrying something in his hand. I'm about to ask what it is when he puts a single berry in my hand.

I look up at him before he pulls me to my feet. I hold in my shriek of pain as Gale supports me.

He has a berry in his hand, too. I realize what they are and I'm about to chuck the berry away when Gale looks at me intently again.

"Together." He whispers. I nod before he gives me one last kiss, as saying goodbye. We stand facing each other with our hands outstretched in front of us. I'm putting all of my wait onto one leg and it's beginning to feel painful but since I'm going to die soon anyways, it doesn't matter.

"One." Gale whispers as he grasps my other hand.

"Two." I whisper as I think of home and look into Gale's face. I want that to be the last thing I see.

"Three." We say together as we raise the berries to our lips, our eyes never leaving each other's. The berry has just passed my lips when the trumpets go off.

We both spew out the berry and look into the sky.

"Stop! Stop! Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the victors of the 74th Hunger Games, Madge Undersee and Gale Hawthorne! I give you- the tributes of District 12!"

A cheer erupts from the surround speakers as the news sinks in.

We won.

We're going home.

We won.

Gale is all the sudden hugging my so tightly it's as if he's never going to see me again and I hug him back, despite serious pain all over my body.

"We're going home. We're going home." He repeats over and over again in my ear. I just keep nodding and nodding. The hovercraft appears above us and Gale doesn't let go of me as the ladder comes down and we're lifted away from the horror of the arena.

* * *

**A/N: Yay, they're out and now they get to go live happily ever after, right? **

**Wrong. It's only begun for them, and they dont know it now, but it's going to get a lot worse.**

**Also, i will be at camp from July 8th to July 14th, so dont expect any updates in that time(:**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I'm baaackkk!**

* * *

The minute the ladder lands securely in place inside of the hovercraft, we're swarmed by doctors who start separating me from Gale and dragging us to separate rooms.

I get one last glance at Gale and his gaze says that it's okay and that they aren't going to hurt me. I nod fearfully before I let the doctors lead me into a bright room and then they pull out a needle and a syringe. It looks just like the syringe that my mother uses for her morphling.

Morphling. No.

No, no, no, they are not going to put that stuff in me. That's all I can really think before they prick me with the needle and I fall over onto the bed in the room.

*line break*

When I wake up again, I'm vaguely aware that I'm naked underneath the thin sheets. And that I'm strapped into the bed. There are thousands of wires going in and out of my body. I look around wildly to see where I am. There's bright sunlight streaming through the window and the wood I'm in my old room before the Games.

The Games… I think to myself. Everything comes rushing back at me at once. Cato, the ledge, the berries.

Gale.

Gale! I look around again trying to find him. I accidentally unhook one of the wires in my body and it falls to the ground as an alarm goes off and then something is slipping into me and I'm falling back into a dreamless sleep.

*line break*

This time, when I wake up, I still have wires in me, but I'm not strapped down. I'm still naked but wrapped in blankets. I start to freak out because I am so used to having Gale's arm around me that without its presence it scares me. I slowly raise my hand to see that it is clean and unscathed; nothing is visible from the days in the arena. I quickly glance to my shoulder to find it healed perfectly. I thought it would have to be amputated.

Then, my only thought is to get out of this freaking room. I tug the wires out of my arm and before I can even stand up, something has sedated me again.

*line break*

Finally, when I come to for certain, I'm in a thin robe much like the one I wore when I met Cinna. Just as I'm thinking this, Cinna walks in, looking exactly the same as he did before.

"Cinna!" I shout weakly and he comes to me, smiling, and sits on the chair placed next to my bed.

"Hey, Girl on Fire." He says and I glare at him playfully.

"You know, I was actually on fire." I respond and another thought comes to mind. My eyes widen. "Where's Gale?"

Cinna chuckles. "You've been out five days and your first question is 'Where's Gale?" I nod quickly as he begins. "He's fine. He's been awake for the past six hours and has been trying to force his way in here for five hours and fifty-nine minutes." I question about the other minute. "Oh, in the other he was scowling."

I smirk. Of course Gale would scowl.

"When can I see him?" I ask urgently.

"You have to wait until tonight, at the Replay. They want the reunion to be live."

"Oh." Then it all comes crushing down on me. I have to watch the Games. I already lived it, why must I watch it again? Must I watch Rue die, watch myself almost be killed, watch Cato die? I hadn't realized that I started to hyperventilate when Cinna puts an arm on my shoulder.

"It'll be fine. Just try to focus on something else when something that you don't want to watch comes on. That's what several victors have done." A thought comes to me and I find that I must ask Cinna.

"Cinna, why did you choose District 12?" This startles him. I knew that he wanted to style for District 12, I just didn't know why.

"I thought that the underdogs needed some help." He says carefully. I nod and realize that I don't exactly know what he means. I'm about to ask him when he silences me.

"Come one, you're supposed to be getting ready." He pulls me out of the bed and I notice that I'm very shaky on my feet and can't exactly stand without wobbling.

"Please, no heels." I tell Cinna and he laughs.

"Of course not. Those wouldn't be good anyways." I nod, confused, as he helps me get to the door. Before he takes me out, though, he sticks his head out and glances both ways before leading me out of the door and down the hall to the same place where I was made up for the Chariots almost 5 weeks ago. Was it really that long ago?

By the time we get there, I'm out of breath and shaking. And that's before my prep team attacks me.

"Oh, you were amazing, dear!" Octavia squeals and starts talking about how her heart stopped at some times and how she actually cried and everything.

Flavius and Venia offer me congratulations and then start babbling on what they loved about the Games and such. I attempt to tune them out but it's highly impossible as they squeal over Gale and me in the arena.

Luckily, this time, they don't have to pull hair out of my skin, as I was scrubbed clean wherever I was staying after the Games. They just have to put make-up on me. Luckily, it's only a little bit of brown eyeliner and some gold eye shadow.

I'm starting to wonder whether or not my dress with have fire associated with it. Then, Venia does some hideous hairstyle on my hair and it's bugging me greatly.

When they finally go to get Cinna, he comes in with a dress and tells me to close my eyes again. I sigh as I do and I feel the dress slip over me.

It's very light and when I open my eyes, I look like… Me. Not some Capitol pawn. Me. Besides the neckline of course. It goes down way lower than I would like it to.

"Orders." Cinna says, catching my eye on the neckline. I nod and examine to rest of the dress. It's a very pretty shade of yellow and when I move it flickers, like it's a candle. The straps are at least one and a half fingers thick and then go down from the halter top to the plunging neckline that I hate. Then, from there, it goes very fitted down my waist and flairs out at the bottom.

I just have on flats to go with it. Cinna smiles and asks if I like it.

"I do, just what's with the uh..." I say while gesturing to the neckline, "reason to expose me?"

"Orders. I was ordered to make it that way." I know I look puzzled because who would order Cinna to expose me like this? He shushes me as I'm going to respond.

"Not now." He says before pinning my Mockingjay pin onto my dress and then undoing the hairstyle Venia did. He just lets it flow down my back in waves, possibly covering up some things.

Now, I really do feel like myself but I don't look like the Mayor's daughter anymore. I look like a victor.

Cinna then leads me down the elevator where it shoots downward to the area where I wait and it has a glass platform that would bring me to the stage. It's just like the glass tube that brought me to *heck* and I start to panic by seeing it. Around the room are makeshift walls with hastily painted paint on the walls and it smells of sandpaper.

"It's only taking you up there and you can see the entire time." Cinna says, sensing my uncomfortableness. I nod and he says that he has to go to wait to go up also. As I'm waiting in the makeshift room that surely wasn't here before the Games, I hear footsteps clamber outside the door and then see the person slip in.

Haymitch.

"Good job, sweetheart." He says, smiling a real genuine smile. When he gives me a hug he talks quickly and whispered. "The Capitol isn't happy. Only one of you was supposed to come out, not both. They will make your life living *heck*. You better be in love with this boy." He says before pulling away. "Now go get 'em."

Like I can perform after hearing I'm supposed to be dead. Haymitch walks away without a second glance backward at me and I hear music begin to play from above me. I can hear the roaring of the audience and Ceaser saying something that I can't make out.

I'm pretty sure Haymitch has gone up now and he is well known for passing out at the reaping and just being Haymitch. My suspicions are confirmed when the crowd starts laughing and screaming when Haymitch goes up.

Then, when Cinna a Portia are sent up, the crowd is absolutely nuts, due to their fiery debut. Next, our prep teams. I can only imagine how my prep team is acting, as they have probably never been on that stage for a victor. I hear Venia's high-pitched squeal even through the ground. I smile at the thought of that.

Suddenly, the platform that I'm standing on starts to rise and there is nothing to hold on to and it feels like I'm going back into the arena. I start to look around frantically, looking for something to steady myself on but there's nothing.

And then, my head is peaking out onto the stage and my vision is obscured by smoke. I can hear only the roaring of the crowd somewhere to my left and see nothing. I begin to think that this is all a joke and that I'm the only one alive, and that they did this to beak me.

As I start to look around for Gale, I can hear Ceaser saying something over to crowd and then the smoke begins to clear.

I faintly see Gale looking around for me through the wisps of smoke that remain and when he turns and meets my eyes, a smile lights up in his face and in his eyes. I start to run, now knowing why Cinna put me in flats. I don't care if the whole country is watching; I need to get to Gale.

Finally, when my feet carry me to Gale, I fly into his outstretched arms and he pulls me close to him as he kisses my forehead, my nose, my cheeks, and finally, my lips. He kisses me, long and slow as I kiss him back and I can hear nothing except the beating of our hearts. When he breaks away I realize that he's holding me up and I look into his deep grey eyes.

"You're okay." He says softly as he nuzzles my neck.

"We're okay." I murmur back, but we both know what it cost to get here, and we'll never be perfectly okay again.

When he looks down from my face, the first thing his face registers is shock. And then he looks back up.

"Pretty dress." He smirks and I smile shyly, as that was what he said to me before the Reaping so many weeks ago.

I realize that we're still standing in the middle of the stage with the entire Capitol looking at us when Ceaser starts to talk again and is telling us, well, ordering us to go sit down.

Usually there is a single chair, but this year, there is a love seat. Gale carries me over there, wedding style, and I just hold onto him, not wanting to ever let go now that he is here with me.

When we sit down on the love seat, I adjust my legs so they are pulled up in front of me and rested on Gale's leg. He puts one arm tightly around my waist and grasps my hand with the other hand. I rest my head on his shoulder and the audience sighs. I remember with a start that they were here that entire time.

Ceaser sits down in the plush chair across from us with a smile.

"So." He starts, smiling slyly. "Where to begin." The audience laughs at this.

"Well, I guess I should congratulate both of you for winning the 74th Hunger Games!" The crowd roars its approval.

Gale and I both smile stiffly and look at each other. I feel a blush rise to my cheeks. It still gets me. Every time I look at him, I still feel my stomach go around and around and my heart does a few relay laps in my chest. I always get that bubbling sensation inside of me.

"I have a few questions for you two, and then we'll get started with the replay!" Ceaser begins and I stiffen. In the excitement of seeing Gale again, I forgot about the replay. Gale pulls me closer to him and I'm grateful.

"Madge," Ceaser says, pulling me out of my thoughts. I direct my attention to him. "How did you feel when you woke up in the cave with Gale after your painful situation?" I feel Gale shift so he can look at me, and I know that if I look at him, he'll have an amused expression on his face.

It takes me a minute to respond. "I was just so shocked that he was right there with me. I was glad that he had found me, or, well, I probably wouldn't be here, with him." The audience sighs as Gale kisses my temple.

"I'm glad I found you too." He whispers to me. I know that if he wouldn't have found me, I'd surely be dead.

"And, Gale," Ceaser begins, gesturing to Gale, "how did _you_ feel after you pulled Madge out of the lake and she wasn't breathing?" I wasn't breathing? I was dead? I look at Gale to find his jaw clenched and he's looking down at our intertwined hands before he speaks.

"I couldn't believe it. I thought that it had to be a trick that she was still there." He grasps my hand tighter. "If she wasn't here with me, I'd lose it. I wouldn't be able to get through this. I need her to be here." He finishes and the audience practically swoons on their feet. A few pass out.

I whisper as quietly as I can to Gale, as I don't want the microphones to pick it up. "I need you too, Gale." He kisses my forehead again as Ceaser announces that it's time for the Replay.

I immediately stiffen. I don't want to watch it all over again. I don't want to see Rue, because I will break down completely.

Gale moves his hand from my waist to the small of my back and it comforts me. I relax a little bit as the lights dim and the screen appears with the Capitol seal. A happy upbeat song begins and I'm feeling sick. The first hour is just opening ceremonies and interviews. I do have to say that we look amazing in the fire costumes. We are showed quite a bit and it only shows bits of our interviews. It shows me twirling around and Gale announcing our love for one another. Gale starts playing with my hair and I smile as I look at him.

Then the Bloodbath begins. You see the countdown and all of the tributes getting ready to run. When the District 7 girl explodes I see that she stumbled and her foot slipped off of the pedestal. I grimace, even now it's painful.

My face appears and I notice just then how terrified I look. The cameras go to Gale and he looks troubled also.

Then, the gong goes off and I get a front row seat to the horror of the Bloodbath that I didn't participate. Cato and Clove hack at the District 6 tributes, Marvel and Glimmer just kill anyone. I see Rue and Marvel start to run and I know that this is where I come in. Gale runs forward and scoops up a backpack and runs towards the trees away from me but takes one last glance back.

"I was looking for you." He whispers in my ear and I just stay like I am, my head resting on his shoulder, staring at the horror unfolding before me.

I see me and Rue meet up and I choke back a sob in my throat, as Rue isn't here anymore. It then goes back to the Bloodbath, gradually going back to Gale and then Rue and I.

When the Careers appear below Rue and I, Gale's hand goes back to my waist. It allows the audience to hear how they were going to use me to get to Gale and I'm horrified already.

Then the fire comes. It's a miracle that I'm not dead.

When it gets to the part with the tracker jackers, I see it in Gale's perspective. It shows Rue and I sitting in the tree with the Careers below us. And then Gale's determined face as he starts to cut down the branch. I see him wince a few times in pain as the tracker jackers sting him and then the nest goes down and it's chaos. Rue and I both fall to the ground, desperately trying to stay awake. Gale makes his way slowly down the tree, slipping once and then falling to the ground. I feel him wince besides me and I squeeze his hand.

Then, all of us are hallucinating. And the screen goes dark for a minute and it shows the other remaining tributes fighting for their lives.

Eventually we wake up and decide to blow up the food. Rue and I say good-bye and the pain in my chest is increasing. I get there and Gale shoots the food and it blows up, and you see the Careers look frantically around.

It goes black, but not before you hear the sickening crack of the boys neck.

When it comes back, I hear Rue screaming and I cling to Gale as I know what is coming and I don't want it to happen. Gale lets me cling to him as Rue continues screaming and I go running like a maniac toward her.

I already feel tears spring to my eyes as I see myself embrace Rue on the screen and then her wide eyes go ever wider before the bird skewers her through the neck. Our little talk is on screen and I feel my face wet with tears as Gale wipes them off of my face and I press my face into his shoulder as Marvel appears.

I wince when I hear the noise and I know that I killed him. I look up to see Gale's panicked face on the screen as the two cannons go off. It looks like he thought it was me and Rue. That's only partially correct. It goes back to me and shows my entire breakdown. Man, it's embarrassing. It doesn't show me burying Rue in flowers.

It skips ahead to the night and shows Gale looking intently at the sky as the faces appear. After it ends he lets out a sigh of relief but then goes back to looking troubled.

Cato and Clove come and they decide to come looking for us. That's when the announcement goes off and I fall out of the tree. The audience laughs at I feel my other fist tighten. Why are they laughing?

I get the knife from Haymitch and I look puzzled as the knife comes flying into the tree near my head. It skips to the part where Clove is cutting my arm off and I'm screaming and I'm realizing just now how terrified Gale was. He goes crashing through the trees and attacks Clove and I find myself staring in horror at the scene before me.

It skips to me waking up and the horror of the stiches. I just realized how much kissing we did in the arena, because that is all that is shown besides Thresh begin angry and Cato going crazy. It shows the feast and Thresh being killed. I wince when I hear the sickening sound of sword on skin and I look up to see Thresh's neck slit and bleeding.

It's the same way Rue died…. I think to myself as Gale squeezes my hand and I look at him.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should've told you what happened." He whispers and I shake my head. I'm glad he didn't tell me, or I would've probably killed myself.

The girl from 5 appears as the bear attacks her and I literally feel like hurling.

It shows us talking and laughing but still with a sense of pain and urgency because we knew that the end was coming.

I smile when it shows Gale attempting to teach me how to swim, but that fades when I get dragged under by some mutation.

"You know, if I didn't see the shining golden blob over there, I'd think that we were somewhere at home." Gale on the screen says, not looking up from the fishing. When I don't respond, he continues. "Madge?" He looks up and doesn't see me and I know what's going to happen. He frantically starts looking around and his eyes are full of pure panic. They lay on the spot where the ripples in the water are coming from and makes a split second decision to dive in.

The cameras underwater show me losing the fight when Gale gets down there. He fights off whatever it is and pulls me up and I look pretty dead to me.

Gale starts giving me CPR and everything and finally I open my eyes gasping for breath. You can see that Gale looks relieved. And then he practically tackles me and the audience chuckles. When I finally can breathe again, Gale starts to talk and my eyes go wide.

I look different. My face looks different, and then I realize that was the moment that I realized that I loved Gale.

"You look different." Gale whispers to me after he kisses my forehead.

"I felt different." I whisper back and he silences himself as he tries to contemplate what that means. The mutts appear and I just close my eyes and bury my face into Gale's shoulder and he lets me. I don't want to watch Cato's end.

I keep hearing screams and shouts of pain until the final cannon goes off and when I open my eyes, Gale and I are clinging to each other on the screen.

They don't show the whole berry stunt, they just announce that we won.

Then it's all over.

The audience roars in cheering and whistling as Ceaser asks us one more question, but I hardly hear it. I'm staring down at Ceasers's shoes across from me when Gale nudges my shoulder and I look up at him.

"Wait, what?" I ask quickly, realizing that I just missed something.

Ceaser chuckles. "Someone's caught up in the action. I said what was your reaction when you saw him up on the stage with you?"

My reaction? Probably priceless. "I felt so happy and excited and thankful that he was here with me. Whenever I'm with him, I feel safe, like no one can hurt me." I finish and the audience sighs.

The rest of the interview passes quickly and then the crowning. President SNow appears in front of us carrying a single crown. Usually, there is one crown and one victor. I dont know how they will do it this year. Thats solved when President SNow twists to crown and it splits in two. He places one on my head and his eyes meet mine. They are a cold gray, much unlike Gale's. His eyes then flicker to my pin. This happens in a second. He then moves to Gale and places the crown on his head without a second glance.

He then takes our hands and seperates them, joining my hand with his and his other hand with Gales's. I immediately notice how cold his hand is and I shiver.

He raises our hands and then shouts, "Congratualtions to the Victors of the 74th HUnger Games: Madge Undersee and Gale Hawthorne!" The crowd roars and i try to force a smile.

As soon as President Snow drops my hand, Gale reaches out to grab it again, and I'm very grateful. We walk off the stage very quickly after that and Haymitch appears in front of us, looking directly at me.

"Sweetheart, we need to talk."

* * *

A/N: Well, i'm back! Camp was amazing, but i'm glad to be home! I hope y'all liked this chapter, it was kind of a filler chapter. What's Haymitch up too, huh?

It's amazing how many people read this and dont review, haha. I just checked and i was like 'Whoaaaa!' Anyways, thoughts?


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Nothing to say really.**

* * *

"You weren't reaped by accident you know." Haymitch says. He led us up to the roof and now we are sitting on the swing, Haymitch in front of Gale and I.

"I know." I respond, looking down at my feet. I knew that I was probably going to be reaped. My dad has been trying to recruit other districts to rebel. A few had responded, and me being reaped was a warning. To show him that if he didn't stop, worse things would happen.

"What? How did you know?" Haymitch asks me, looking clueless.

"I'm not stupid. I've overheard him talking on the phone and stuff."

"Then you knew that you were going to probably be reaped?"

"I had no doubt really." I respond before Gale cuts in.

"Will someone please tell me what is going on?" He asks angrily and I turn to him.

I quickly explain to him what's going on and his jaw becomes tighter and tighter as I continue. He pulls me in for a hug and rests his head on my shoulder and I rest mine on his. It's what Haymitch says that breaks us apart.

"Please tell me that the whole 'lovers' thing is true." My jaw drops and my face goes slack as i process what is going on. He thinks that it's fake.

Gale speaks first. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, is the whole thing true?"

"Of course it's true you idiot." Haymitch lets out a breath and I find myself doing the same.

"Why?" I ask, finding my voice for the first time as Gale grips my hand.

"Before the two victors thing was announced, you were, or still are, very popular with the male audience of the Capitol." I freeze as I realize what he means. That if I would've made it out alive, without Gale, they would force me into prostitution, like Finnick Odair.

"You don't mean…" Gale begins and Haymitch nods. I clamber into Gale's lap and he lets me sit there as I take in what Haymitch told us. I lean my head back on his chest to find his heartbeat going crazy. He wraps his arms around me.

"Be glad he came out with you." Haymitch says and my eyes meet his.

"Be glad? I am glad. I wouldn't have made it through that Replay without him." I growl at Haymitch, suddenly becoming defensive.

"You wouldn't have made it through the Games without him." He mumbles, loud enough for me to hear it.

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"You weren't meant to come out."

"So you basically gave up on me the minute the Games started, huh?"

"Well, I expected Gale to be the one to come out, not you." And at those words, I completely crack.

"I didn't suffer through that hell to just be told you had no faith in me. I see everything that happened in daylight or at night. Everything. Everything I see reminds me of it. Every time I see a flower, I see Rue. Every time I see a knife, I think of how I killed Marvel. Everything, Haymitch. Everything!" I'm shouting now, and I try to pull myself off of Gale's lap but his arms are clasped around me.

"Let me go." I say to him harshly and when he doesn't, I continue. "Let me go, Gale!" I shout at him and he does. I stand up on my feet and look at Haymitch square in the eye.

"Do you not think that I see it too?" Haymitch yells at me and I glare. "I see it all too! That's why I bury myself in alcohol! Not because I want to! And for the record, I stayed sober this entire Games to help one of you get home."

"Well, congratulations for you." I bite at him, and he stands facing me. "You know what I think? I think you gave up on me the minute the Games started. I think you had no faith in me, whatsoever."

"Well, maybe I had a little faith in you, as you are my Goddaughter, but other than that, nope, no faith." I hardly have time to process what he says when he continues. "Yeah, that's right. I'm your Godfather. Your mother appointed me that job after you were born. She knew you were going to be reaped. She knew what was going to happen."

"Well, that just makes me feel so much better to know that my own mother had no faith in me either!" I shout back, and my temper goes flaring up again. "So, no one in the district had any faith that I was coming home until that announcement was made?"

"Yeah, pretty much." He yells at me.

"I honestly don't blame them. The only reason that I'm here today is because of Rue and Gale. Without them, I would be buried in a graveyard next to my dead aunt!" I go closer to Haymitch, totally enraged now, and I know that this is the first time either of the two people up here with me has seen me extremely angry. Angry tears spring to my eyes but I don't let them fall. I will not look weak, not now.

Haymitch and I stand there, glaring at each other, and I wait for him to break. That doesn't happen because I break first. Tears roll down my face and I quickly wipe them before stalking away from him and to the door, tears defiantly going down my face.

"Way to go, Haymitch, way to go." I hear Gale tell him as the door to the roof is closing behind me.

* * *

As soon as I get down the stairs, I stalk off to my old room again and Cinna sees me and starts to talk, but I push him off and make my way to my room.

I slam the door and then lean against it, sliding down so I'm sitting up against the door. That's when the tears start to flow. They aren't loud tears, just silent tears and I refuse to let myself cry out or anything.

I press the heels of my hands to my eyes to block out the light and they do, very effectively. I then find myself walking slowly to the bed and I flop myself down, not caring that I probably have to be somewhere at the time. I curl up under the covers and wrap myself into a ball when I hear knocking on the door.

"Go away, Haymitch!" I croak, because I'm assuming it's Haymitch. I cover my face with the cover and my hair falls in front of my face as the person at the door comes in and sits down on the bed.

"Madge, please look at me." I hear Gale's soothing voice, but I don't look up from the covers. "Please, Madge."

I finally so manage to look up, only peaking one eye out from under. He's still in his suit from earlier. When he sees my eye he smiles.

"There's the beautiful eye I love to see." Even this doesn't make me move. I just put my head back under and Gale pries me out from there and I sit up looking at him. I realize that I'm still in the dress from earlier and I start to feel self-conscious. I wrap the thin blanket around myself as Gale brushes my hair out of my face.

"I hate it when you're upset." He says gently, meeting my eyes.

I shift my gaze to my hands in my lap. "I shouldn't be here. I should be dead. I want to be dead." I whisper and I fall back onto the bed, more tears flowing.

"Don't say that. Don't ever say that." He says sternly, rubbing my back. His touch makes me relax a little, but I still don't move. "You do deserve to be here. You suffered through what no human should have to deal with. You did it. You made it past what most people wouldn't be able to handle. Even though you went through it, you're still you. You're still the beautiful, loving, funny girl I knew before. And no matter what happens, you will always be you." I sit up, slowly and he wipes the tears from my face. "And I'm going to be with you the entire time."

I'm sure those words have the effect that he did not plan because I burst into tears. I fall onto him and he grasps me tightly, letting me cry onto his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I gasp in between cries.

"Shh... it's okay. Shhh." Gale repeats over and over again. He's rubbing my back still and when I stop crying my eyes out and the tears have subsided to just strangled gasps he stops and pulls back.

"You okay?" He asks gently and I shrug. He takes my hand before speaking. "We're going home soon." I nod, thinking of home.

"They must be in fits." I say, shakily and Gale laughs.

"I'm sure they are."

A thought comes to mind. "I wonder what they think. About us."

"I honestly don't care what they think. As long as I'm with you, I'm fine."

I smile as I nudge him with my shoulder. He nudges me back. We keep this going for a little until Haymitch pokes his head in.

"Oh, and you have another interview tomorrow." He says, completely ignoring me and addressing Gale. I groan and fall back on the bed.

"It's only one interview, Madge."

"Yeah, for now." I groan again, because reporters will be following our every move when we get home.

* * *

Finally, after the interviews and everything are over, we get to return home. I'm practically shaking at the anticipation of going home. I know Gale feels the same way because he's pacing across the room, his hands deep in his pockets.

When the train pulls to a spot I stand up quickly, as I hear the cheer of District 12 right outside that door. I try to smooth my dress as Gale comes and stands next to me and grasps my hand.

"Ready?" He asks, meeting my eyes. No, I am not ready. But it's his eyes that give me the courage to speak.

"As I'll ever be." We both step up to the door and Effie appears, looking as excited as ever.

"Okay, here we go!" She squeals, and I find that she has grown on me. Gale squeezes my hand as the doors to the train open and we are blinded by cameras taking our pictures and deafened by the cheer of District 12. As soon as I get enough sense to look around, I see the entire district cheering so loudly, I'm sure another district can hear it.

WE stand there for who knows how long when Effie finally ushers us off of the stage set up an into our families arms. I see the Mellark's, Cartwright's, and the Everdeen's standing there waving at us, with the notable absence of Katniss, and I wave back at them. The first thing I feel is someone very small clinging to my leg. I look down to see a pair of eyes exactly like Gale's looking up at me.

"Hi." She says breathlessly. I don't exactly know who this is so I look up at Gale and he mouths a name to me.

"Hi." I respond before she speaks again.

"Are you Gale's girlfriend?" The girl asks, her expectant eyes looking at me.

"Yeah, she is, and you better like her." Gale says, while prying Posy off of my leg and pulling her into a hug. I let go of his hand and go to find my dad.

I see him standing next to Hazelle Hawthorne and when he sees me, I notice his eyes shine with happy tears. He embraces me tightly and I do the same.

"You did it, Madge. You did it." He says while rocking me and I open my eyes to see a woman I haven't seen out of her bed in years. My mother.

"Mom…." I start but she beats me to it, smiling weakly. Her skin is very pale and her blue eyes are sort of clouded, but it's still my mother.

"Madge. I'm so proud of you." She begins weakly and then pulls me into a hug. That's all that needs to be said. We will have plenty of time to talk later. I pull my dad into the hug and then my parents are both crying and I'm standing there awkwardly in the middle when I pull away.

"I'll see you later." I say to them and they nod, still locked in their embrace. Before I can even walk away from them, someone else is giving me a hug. It's Hazelle. She looks so much like Posy and Gale that it's crazy. She has tears in her eyes and I'm sure that she has never looked happier.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Madge."

"It's nice to meet you too."

"Thank you for being there for him."

"You're welcome." I say, not really knowing what to say back. I'm saved from that when Gale taps me on my shoulder.

"I'm going to go talk to your dad really quick." I nod and he goes over. They shake hands and my dad laughs. I smile at the sight.

I turn around and run smack into Peeta Mellark.

"Oh, hey!" He says, obviously surprised to see me.

"Hi." I respond rubbing my forehead from where we bumped into each other.

"Congrats." He says, while grinning.

I shrug. "Thanks, I guess. Hey Peeta, have you seen Katniss?" His face goes slack for a minute before he shakes his head no, and I wonder what that was about.

He walks away and Effie rounds Gale and me up again to take us to the Justice Building.

* * *

As we are in the car taking us there, Effie is talking about how excited she is and stuff but I tune her out. It was nearly 6 weeks ago that we were in this car, certain that we were going to our deaths.

"We're home." Gale whispers in my ear and I smile.

"We're home."

* * *

**A/N: Finally, they are home! Sorry if the time in the Capitol was short, i was lazy and didnt want to put it all in there! Oh, yeah, I'm writing a story about Annie and Finnick, and i would love it if y'all coud possibly check it out when it gets up? Thanks!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Fun chapter to write.**

* * *

I'm running. Running through the woods. Running toward the screams. Running toward her death. Running towards Rue. I'm sweating and panting and screaming. I reach the clearing as the bird kills her. Her dead body then morphs into a mutt of her. I scream and run backwards, falling onto a limb. The mutt appears above me as it growls and sinks its teeth into my face.

And then, suddenly, I'm with Gale, and he's yelling at me about how insane I am and how he hates me. Then, he's the mutt and he is ripping my limbs apart. I'm screaming and screaming and screaming.

I wake up screaming my head off. I'm sweating, and screaming, and gripping the sheets in my fists and I'm twitching. My father comes running into my room, his face full of panic.

"Madge? Are you okay?" I nod shakily at his question right before I stand up and run to the bathroom to hurl into the toilet. My dad follows and holds my hair back as I continue to hurl my dinner up.

In the few days that I have been living in the Victor's Village, I have woken in a cold sweat and nightmares every night. My dad is always there to help me through it and I can tell that he is desperate for sleep.

"Go back to bed, Dad. I'll be fine." I wince as I say these words, and he seems reluctant to leave me but he does.

I finally cease and my breathing is still ragged. I think back to the dream, and how it all went by so quickly. It felt like it went on for hours. How Rue quickly morphed into the mutt. And how Gale was a mutt.

I need to get to Gale. Now. To make sure that he is still him. And not a mutt.

I pull my draggled self-off of the floor and bring myself to the window that overlooks the Hawthorne's new residence.

I turn my lamp on and sit on the windowsill that looks into the upstairs sitting room. There is a light on. I squint as a person walks into the room. It's Gale, thank God. I press the heels of my hands into my eyes when I hear something hit the window. I look up and my eyes adjust to the light and I see Gale looking out the window, having opened it. He looks concerned

I don't know why he does, as I wake up almost every night screaming now.

Quickly, I unlatch the window and pull it open so I can hear him. The houses are so close that we could whisper and still hear each other.

"You okay?" He asks.  
"Nightmares."

"Again?"

"They come almost every night." I sigh as I look down at my hands.

"What was it this time?"

"It's always the same. Rue, the mutts, you… It always ends with you. Hurting me, or something."

I feel something brush against my hand and then fall away.

"Dammit. These houses are too far apart."

I smile before replying. "Only you can manage to make me smile."

"I always make you smile, Madge." I laugh because I know it's true. "And, Madge?"

"Yeah?" I ask meeting his eyes.

"I'm never going to hurt you. And if I did, I'd never forgive myself." I know it's true, so I just nod.

"Why are you up?" I take in the dark circles under his eyes and how tired he looks. The only other time I've seen him like this was in the arena after Clove attacked me. Except this time he has stubble along his jaw. I wonder why he didn't grow a beard in the arena. He's definitely old enough to. I'm still contemplating this when he speaks again so I barely hear the answer.

"Can't sleep really. I haven't been able to sleep since the Replay."

"Why?" I ask, and I know that I sound like a little kid, but I really don't know why.

"Just… thinking I guess." I stare at him. "And maybe some nightmares." He looks down.

"Do they ever go away?" I whisper to myself but it's Gale who answers.

"Haymitch's didn't." Our mentor has been locked up in his house since the festivities ended. The last time we saw him was at the ball thing the Capitol organized. And he was pretty wasted. You could smell the fumes of him from across the room. So much for staying sober.

We both become pretty quiet for a while when I have another question for him.

"Gale?"

"Yeah?"

I take a deep breath before asking. "Have you seen Katniss?" He stiffens a bit when I say her name.

"Well, the last time I saw her she started yelling in the middle of the Seam."

"Yelling?"

"Yeah. She was mad or something about how I didn't tell her I liked you for two years and how she would've told me if she liked someone or something. She got really quiet after that and then started muttering something about bread."

"Bread?"

"I dunno, she seemed really upset though."

"Oh." I don't really know what to say next so I just say I'm going back to bed.

"Night. I'll be here if you need anything." I nod before I close the window and turn off my lamp.

As I lay in bed, I refuse to let myself succumb to sleep. I know that if I do, I'll have a nightmare again. I try not to linger on the way Gale stiffened when I said Katniss's name. It worries me.

* * *

I manage to stay awake until around four in the morning when I succumb. Luckily, no dreams awaken me.

I wake around eight o'clock and I go down the stairs to find Haymitch in my house.

"H-Haymitch?" I yawn at him and he looks at me.

"Hey, sweetheart." He slurs into my face.

"What do you want?" I ask while I start to rummage through the cupboards to find that I have no food in my house. Would it have killed the Capitol to supply us food?

"President Snow might be coming to see you sooner or later." This stops me in my tracks.

"W-what?" I stutter out.

"You heard me. Now, clear out before he does."

"Clear out? This is my house, Haymitch."

"Just…. Go to the store or something. You don't want to be here when he gets here." I groan.

"Go take a bath, Haymitch." I say, and he smirks as I trudge back up the stairs to get dressed. As it is not exactly winter yet, but it's on its way, I put on a short sleeved shirt and a light wind-breaker with some jeans.

I'm grumbling as I walk back down the stairs to find Haymitch gone. I walk through the kitchen and downstairs sitting room to get to the front door. Once I'm out, I lock the door and start to walk to town to buy some food. I stop by several shops including the bakery, and produce store, and finally the apothecary to get some medicine.

I don't talk to anyone, though everyone says hello to me. Now that I'm a victor, everyone knows who I am. I don't exactly like the attention.

About halfway home, I feel someone's arms wrap around my waist.

"Hi." Gale whispers in my ear. I laugh as he turns me around to face him and when he kisses my forehead.

"Have you been following me?"

"No, I just saw you."

"Okay." I tell him as he takes my hand and leads me away from the pathway to the Victor's Village.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see." He says as he continues to lead me away from the Village. We're silent until he leads me to the fence.

"Wait." He shushes me and leads me along the fence line until I see a meadow.

"I'm not going out of the district, Gale."

"You don't have to." Apparently, there is part of the meadow that is still in the District.

He leads me over and sits down next to me.

"What are we doing?" I ask Gale and he laughs.

"Do you find it weird that all we know about each other is where we're from?" I'll admit, I have thought about that and how I know nothing about Gale besides that he won the Hunger Games and has a big family.

"I guess, yeah."

"Then let's play a game." He says, lying down on the meadow and I lay down too, putting my arms behind my head as I look up at the sky.

"A game?"

"Yeah. We take turns asking each other questions and the other has to answer honestly." I wonder where he thought of this.

"Okay, I guess then. You first."

"No, you."

"You."

He smiles before starting.

"What's your favorite color?"

I don't even have to think on this. "Lavender. What's yours?"

He thinks for a minute before answering. "Blue. What's your favorite food?"

I really don't know this. "I guess… Cookies?"

"Are you asking a question?" Gale asks me quickly as he smirks in my direction.

"Is that your question?" I ask back, and this time I'm smirking.

"No." We both smile and the game carries on until I find that I'm shivering.

"Come on. Let's go back now." Gale says standing up and taking my hand. I take it and he pulls me up, then leans down and gets my bag off food.

"I got it." He says before slinging it over his shoulder and we start to walk back to my house. We pass several people on the way back including Katniss. Her eyes flicker to our entwined hands and then she flicks her eyes to my face. I try to manage a small smile but she grimaces and then goes to the bakers to trade.

I glance at Gale to find him looking straight ahead, as if he didn't see the exchange between Katniss and I.

We remain in silence until we get to my house. The minute we enter I know something is wrong.

I smell blood. And… Roses.

"Dad?" I call out and I hear a noise coming from the kitchen. There's a man with a perfectly tailored suit and everything.

My heart goes cold. I remember Haymitch's words from earlier. President Snow is here to see me.

Gale's hand tightens on mine and I wait for the man to speak.

"Your father had to go into the office to get some work done today, Miss Undersee. In the meantime, President Snow would like to see you." I nod and untangle my hand from Gale's.

He looks at me, worried.

"I'll be back, Gale." I say with a smile before I let the man lead me into the room where President Snow is waiting.

* * *

The smell is overwhelming in the office. Does he bathe in blood? It sure smells like it. He's sitting in a chair behind the desk and there is one set up in front of the desk so I sit, and wait for him to speak.

"Ah. Miss Undersee, one of our newest victors. How are you finding District Twelve?

"I'm happy to be home, thank you." I respond to him before he speaks again, this time, saying the words I have dreaded to hear since that day on the rooftop when we came back.

"As you probably know, some victors are very popular in the Capitol after they win. You are one of them. Many people are willing to pay a lot of money to meet you. If you will accept the offer, no one will be harmed. If you do not, well, we will have a problem."

He waits as the words sink in. He still wants to prostitute me, even though I'm here with Gale, and if I say no, people I love will be hurt, possibly killed.

"I don't know." I whisper and he chuckles.

"Well, your two options are either to accept and deal with it, or not accept and possible have people harmed." So, basically, if I do accept, I harm myself, and if I don't accept, I harm other people.

"I don't know." I repeat and the grin slides off of his face.

"You have until a month before the Victory Tour to decide. If I don't hear word, I'm assuming you said no, and things will happen. Be aware that I know what goes on here, Margret Undersee." I shiver when he says my name. He stands up to leave. "Thank you for having me." He says before leaving the room and leaving me sitting in the chair with my hands clenched on the armrests.

I hear President Snow exchange a few words with whoever are still out there and then the opening and closing of the front door.

I'm honestly starting to think that he drinks other people's blood. His lips are bright red and it seriously looks like it. Plus, the man is full of vengeance. If I don't prostitute myself, he kills my family and friends. If I do, it kills me. I know what happened with Finnick Odair. He was prostituted and can never have a normal life. Why are they even offering me this fate? Haymitch said that I would be safe since I had Gale. Apparently, that doesn't matter to Snow.

Gale finds me still sitting there ten minutes later.

"Madge? You okay?" He asks before he kneels down in front of me and stares at me.

"I-I'm fine. He just wanted to ask how everything is going here." I lie easily through my teeth but can't meet Gale's eyes. He knows I can't lie to him. He takes my hand and leads me out of the smelly room and outside.

"What did he want?" His voice is hollow and angry.

"H-h-he wanted to…" I can't continue, the thought is too painful, to disgusting, too… Not me.

"What did he want, Madge? Answer me, please." His voice now sounds desperate and pleading.

I find my voice, but it only comes out a whisper. "Prostitution. He wanted to prostitute me." That's all I get out before Gale is leading me blindly somewhere.

* * *

Next thing I know, I'm sitting at a table with a warm glass of tea in my freezing fingers. I'm aware of a terrible stench and Gale's arm around my waist.

"He tried to prostitute her. Do something about it." Gale growls next to me. I look up at where I am.

I'm in a really, really, dirty house. Haymitch is sitting across from me looking at me.

"What did he tell you, sweetheart?" Haymitch asks me, gently, which I didn't know was possible from Haymitch.

I struggle to find the words. "He said that if I didn't accept, people would get hurt. He personally threatened to kill everyone I love." Haymitch looks at me in shock.

"I thought you would be safe from that. Did he give you a deadline?"

"A month before the Victory Tour."

Haymitch lets out a low whistle. "That's more time than he gave the rest of us."

"The rest of us? Haymitch, what do you mean?"

"You aren't the only one who was almost forced into this, Madge." And then he stands up and stalks out of the room, but not before grabbing three wine bottles, leaving Gale and I alone in this disgusting, dingy room.

* * *

A/N: So. President Snow sucks, and Katniss isn't very happy. This will go well. I probably won't be updating this story for a little because i'll be working on my other story, so, yeah!(: Review!


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: Sorry, It had to happen.**

* * *

I'm not the only one? The thought puzzles me over the next few days. I mean, I know Finnick Odair was forced into it, I'm not an idiot. He's good-looking and when he won, the Capitol crowd apparently went nuts.

But who else could've been almost forced into it? I don't know any other victors, besides Haymitch and Gale.

As I'm walking through town to go to the Justice Building to find my dad, someone stops me. Katniss. She has her game bag slung over her shoulder and has bags under her eyes.

"Hi." She says, meeting my eyes for the first time since the Reaping.

"Hi." I respond carefully to her and she shifts uncomfortably.

"I just wanted to say… Um, I… I'm glad you're home?" she says, making it sound like a question.

I must look completely baffled because she continues. "And, I'm sorry for giving you the cold shoulder. I didn't know what to think of any of it and…"

"It's okay Katniss. I probably would've felt the same way." She looks grateful that I understand and smiles slightly.

"The entire Games everyone was so worried and when they said only one victor, a riot almost broke out here." This perks me up.

"A riot?" I say and she nods.

"No one was very happy."

"I can imagine." And I can, as I felt pretty much the same way.

"Well…. I kinda have to go trade now so… Bye then." And she walks away to go trade with the baker… Again. She seems to be trading a lot with the baker.

I shrug it off and continue to walk towards the Justice Hall to find my dad.

* * *

Once in the Justice Hall, I find that my father isn't here.

"Where is he?" I ask the secretary and she tells me that he had to make a trip to the Capitol.

I groan and begin to trudge back through the cold air and back to the Victor's Village. When I make it in the door, a surprise burst of warmth hits me. As I take off my jacket, I smell something. Burning.

I run to the kitchen to find cookies burning in the oven. When on earth did I put cookies in the oven? I cough as I open up the oven and a ton of smoke pours out of the open oven.

I'm still coughing and trying to beat out the flames with a towel when the fire alarm goes off.

"Shit!" I shout into the air, not caring who hears me. That's about when I decide to douse the oven in water. The small flame that had sparked goes out but the smoke remains. I open every window downstairs as the smoke exits. I flop onto the couch, coughing when the phone rings.

I groan as I try to get up and make my way to the phone in the office. I had avoided the office since President Snow came to visit so this is the first time I've been in here. There's a single white rose, just like the one in his lapel when he was here. I practically gag at the metallic smell and answer the phone.

"Hello?" I say in a raspy voice.

"Madge? Is that you?" I hear Gale ask on the other line.

"Yeah. Something was burning." I say before coughing slightly.

"Oh. Can I ask you a huge favor?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

"See, Posy has the measles and no one else is home besides me and I have to go talk to someone, so could you come and watch her?"

"Sure. Who do you have to talk to?"

"President Snow…" Gale mumbles and it feels as if a cold fist closed around my heart.

"Oh. Okay." I say quietly and Gale speaks again.

"I'm sure its just about mentoring or something." He says trying to reassure me.

"I hope. I'll be over in a minute."

"Thanks so much." After that, we hang up and I go to change out of my smoke covered clothes. I rinse off my face and then trudge back downstairs to leave, but not before I check up on my mother.

Even though I came out alive, she's still buried herself in morphling. I sigh as I continue to walk down. I then exit my house and walk one house over to the Hawthorne residence and knock on the door.

"Door's unlocked!" I hear a muffled yell from inside the house and I enter, feeling the warmth of a full house. Gale comes out to meet me in the hallway and smiles before hugging me.

"Thanks for this, by the way." He says into my hair and I nod.

"No problem. I'm the only one home anyways, so it'd be kinda boring."

"Where's your dad?" He asks as he takes my hand in his and leads me upstairs to where I'm assuming Posy is.

"He had to go to the Capitol for something. I don't know what for." I continue as Gale looks at me puzzled.

When we get outside of a partly open door, I hear coughing and sneezing coming from the little girl behind it.

"Brace yourself." Gale whispers before pushing open the door. I'm blinded by a bright pink color that is on the walls. I have to blink a couple times before I can fully focus on Posy, wrapped in several blankets with bloodshot eyes, a runny nose, and a major cough. She looks miserable.

"Hi, Posy." I say quietly and she coughs and looks at me with her bloodshot eyes.

"Hi." She croaks and then dissolves into a coughing fit.

"Posy? Madge is going to watch you for a little. I have to go somewhere." He says quietly to her and she nods.

He turns to me. "Good luck." He then kisses me and I hear Posy say 'Ew, cooties.' I chuckle at her five year old silliness before I walk to her and sit in the chair next to her bed. Gale leaves and I hear the front door open and close.

"How are you feeling?"

"Sick." She mumbles and I brush her dark brown hair out of her face.

"It'll be okay, Pose."

"Can I have my coloring book?" She asks me innocently and I practically cry at how cute she is, even when she's sick.

"Of course you can." I stand up from the chair and begin to search her room to find her coloring book.

I find one eventually. "Is this it?" I ask and she nods. I bring over the book and her pencils and she begins to color happily. I wish I was still a little kid, I think to myself.

She colors for a little and then begins to cough. I hand her the glass of water and she drinks thirstily. I smile at her.

I don't know how long we sit there, her coloring and me watching but eventually, she wants me to sing a song to her.

"Can you sing?" She asks and I nod.

"What do you want me to sing?"

"The meadow song!" Her eyes light up and I have no clue what she's talking about.

"The meadow song?"

"Yeah!"

"I don't know the meadow song, Posy."

"You… You don't?"

"I don't know many songs." I shrug and she begins to hum a tune. I vaguely recognize it.

"Wait, I might know this!" And with that her face lights up again and she moves down into her mound of blankets and snuggles with her ratty bunny that she must love a lot.

I begin to sing a song that I haven't heard for years.

_Deep in the meadow, under the willow_

_A bed of grass, a soft green pillow_

_Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes_

_And when again they open, the sun will rise. _

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you. _

_Deep in the meadow, hidden far away_

_A cloak of leaves, A moonbeam ray_

_Forget your woes and let your troubles lay_

_And when again it's morning, they'll wash away. _

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you._

By the time I finish the song, Posy is fast asleep, her arms curled around her bunny. I smile to myself as I hear something. I whip my head around to find Gale standing against the doorframe.

"How long have you been standing there?" I squeak and he chuckles.

"Maybe a little before you started singing." He says as I stand and walk to the door. "By the way, you are a great singer."

"Oh, shut up, you." I joke before playfully swatting him on the arm. He swats back but he's laughing. I close Posy's door and walk back down the stairs. Just as I step down from the last step I'm taking around my waist and spun around to face Gale.

"You're great with kids too, you know that?" He murmurs before kissing me. I'll admit, I loose myself in Gale when we kiss. The feeling is so blissful and happy, and not even that can stop the feeling that something is wrong.

"Gale?" I whisper as I break away from him and he looks at me.

"What did he want?" I say flatly and Gale breaks my gaze and walks to the kitchen. "Gale? What did he want?"

"He wanted to do the same thing to me, as he tried to do to you." He growls and his hands clasp in fists.

"What did you say?" I ask going over to him and sitting next to him.

"I told him point-blank that I wouldn't do it."

Well, that shocked me.

"You know what he can do—"

"Yes, Madge, I know what he can do. I've heard of it." He barks at me and I back down and shrink as small as I can.

"It can only lead to worse things—" He cuts me off again.

"Yeah, I know. Do you think I didn't think of that when I said no? Because I thought of it. I thought of everything that has already happened and took that into account!" By the end of this, he's shouting. I know that he feels stressed at this time, and I would too. I stand and go to wrap my arms around his shoulders to try to calm him but he jerks away quickly.

"Get the hell off of me, Madge!" And then he slaps me across the face.

Time literally stops. I slowly bring my hand up to my face, pain already stinging through my nerves and veins.

Gale is breathing heavily and his fists are clenched and eyes closed tight.

That's about when I feel the tears come. I turn on my heel and bolt out of the house as fast as I can go. I don't stop until I'm in the graveyard next to my aunt's grave.

That's when the tears really start coming down. They run across my stinging cheek and into my hands. I'm pretty sure there's gonna be a bruise from that.

And then, the realization of it all hits me.

Gale just hit me. He hit me. I remember his words from last night: _'I'm never going to hurt you, by the way.'_

Well, never must be a lot shorter in his dictionary because to me, it's supposed to be, well, never. Not less than twelve hours.

I don't know what to do; I have no clue what to do.

There is only one thing circling through my head: Gale just hit me.

Gale just hit me.

Gale just hit me.

Gale just hit me…

* * *

A/N: Well... Who can honestly say they saw that one coming? ANyways, i'm kind of in a mental block on my other story, Whispers of Love, right now so i decided to dso this instead.

ANyways, i will be on mission trip from 7/22- 7/28, so there wont be any updates on anything.

Thoughts?


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my imagination, which at times, can suck.**

* * *

I don't know how long I sit in that cemetery, but after a while, the pain in my cheek subsides into a tingling but a new pain arises. Heartbreak. I've never felt heartbreak, but I'm surely feeling it now. I mean, I knew Gale had a temper, I just didn't think he would hit me.

Tears leak out of my eyes again and I fall to a fetal position on my side as I dig my nails into my forearms until bright red droplets of blood blossom. The school bell goes off in the distance and I groan in both pain and annoyance. Since I won the Hunger Games, I don't have to go to school, but thank goodness because everyone would stare at me non-stop. But, since the cemetery is on the path to town from the school, several children will be passing me.

Soon enough, the rumble of children's feet and loud cheery voices that don't have a care in the world. I despise them for that. They didn't have to go through hell and back, they didn't have to see people die before their eyes; they didn't have to watch it all over again.

As I'm lost in my thoughts, I hear two pairs of feet walk up behind me and stop. I tense in my position, thinking that it's Gale.

"Go away." I huff at him, only to find that it's not Gale.

It's Rory and Vick. They take in my red and puffy eyes and my chapped cheeks and trembling bottom lip.

"Madge?" Rory asks, looking down on me, "Should I get Gale?"

I panic again and sit up frantically, waving his offer off. "No! Don't get him!" I cringe. I couldn't even say his name out loud.

Rory and Vick look at each other before they decide the same thing. They sit down and get comfortable before Rory speaks again.

"So what happened?"

"W-w-what? Nothing happened!" I stutter before two fat tears leak out of my eyes and I bury my face in my hands and fall back to my original position.

"Madge, we aren't idiots. Gale's our brother; we can tell when something has happened." Vick speaks and I look at him. He's dead serious.

I start to control my crying before I begin to tell them the story, not even omitting when we were kissing.

It's a while before Vick speaks up.

"Well, he's a dummy." He says rolling his eyes and I crack a very small smile the young boy's words. "I got her to smile!" He shouts and I giggle. It quickly fades as I remember why I'm here. Tears sting again.

"Come on, Madge. Let's go." Rory says before trying to haul me to my feet.

Naturally, I struggle. "No, no, no." I remain locked in my position, fear seeping back into my veins.

"Please?"

"No. I refuse to move." I say and curl into an even tighter ball. I shut my eyes tight and hear two more pairs of feet come up and start murmuring to each other.

I open one eye to look at the people.

Katniss and… Peeta?

Well. That's an odd combination.

"What are you doing?" I hear Katniss hiss at someone and I hear someone's knees crack as they bend down next to me.

"Madge, you're freezing. Get up; we're going to go…?" Peeta trails off and I look up into the blue eyes that are the exact shade of mine.

"My house. We'll go to my house." Rory speaks up and suddenly, I have no strength to retort or struggle. I'm freezing, numb, and my heart is shattered. Rory and Peeta both hoist me up and help me walk to the Hawthorne house where I am rushed into the arms of Hazelle. Vick quickly tells her the story and he is sent to get Haymitch from two houses over.

Hazelle wraps a warm, fuzzy blanket around me and lays me down on the couch as Peeta and Katniss work on lighting a fire in the fireplace. After the fire is lit, Katniss leaves to go find Gale, and Peeta sits down in the chair as Haymitch comes in and says three words that cheer me up the most.

"Son-ofa-bitch." He huffs before plopping down in the other chair as Hazelle feeds me bits of food and sips of water. I begin to cry again as my mother has never done this to me, as I was forced to take care of myself. I stare blankly into the fire, the flames reaching high into the chimney.

Katniss comes back several minutes later looking flushed from the cold. She sits down on the chair of Peeta's armchair and I can't help thinking that it is quite odd.

"Where was he?" Hazelle asks and Katniss sighs.

"In the woods. He was shooting randomly. Lost about half of his arrows. He just let me yell at him. He accepted it. It wasn't like him." Katniss says before looking down at her hands.

The day slowly fades and Rory and Vick leave to go do their homework. Katniss and Peeta stay where they are. The fire slowly fades to glowing embers and I pull the blanket tighter around me as Hazelle brushes my tangled hair out of my face.

I hear the front door open and hear lumbering steps come into the living room. Gale. His eyes are full of pain and sorrow. He's still holding his quiver and it has one arrow left in it. He stops and takes one look at me, taking in everything before going up the stairs slowly. In a flash, Hazelle is running up the stairs despite her old age very quickly. I hear faint yelling that goes on for a full two minutes before it comes to an abrupt stop.

Hazelle comes down minutes later. "Katniss, Peeta, come on." She pulls them out of the room as they protest against her.

I know what this means. Gale's coming to talk to me. I curl up more under the blanket, practically hiding my face when he comes down the stairs, hands deep in his pockets and he's looking down at his feet.

I look anywhere but him. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want my heart shattered more.

"Hey." He says hoarsely before he looks at my face. I just stare. It's quite painful to see him like this. He walks over to me and sits down on the couch close to me. I scoot away so I can get as far away from him as possible. I don't want to be hurt again.

"Madge… Listen, please." He reaches out to touch me and I burrow under the blanket, where he can't see me. I hear him draw a breath before speaking again. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I was fine one minute and then… I'm so sorry, Madge. President Snow, h-he directly threatened everyone in the district, just like he did you. But it was worse." I've never heard Gale's voice stutter. He's always so strong and powerful.

"Bad enough to make you hit me?" My voice cracks and I'm quickly losing oxygen under here.

He sighs again and I hear him move closer. "Yes, Madge. He said that if I didn't, he would send us back."

"Back where?" I question, still losing oxygen.

"Back. To the arena." I freeze.

"You didn't have to go through with it."

"Well, I don't want us to go back! I don't want you to go back!"

"Why do you care what the hell happens to me?" I shout from under the blanket and it's a full 5 seconds before Gale responds.

"Why? Why do I care? I cannot even begin to explain why I care. We have been too hell and back together! We both know what it's like! I care because I couldn't keep going without you. I care because I need you! Madge, I care because I love you! Yeah, I love you. I love everything about you. I love your hair, your eyes, your smile, your laugh, everything! I have for a long time now, even before the reaping." His voice drops to a whisper. "I love you, Madge." I feel him fall defeated onto the couch next to me.

He… He loves me? That just makes everything more complicated. I love him too, don't get me wrong. I'm afraid to say it. I'm afraid that he's going to go back on his word and move on after I say it. I'm afraid that he's only saying it to make me forgive him. I'm afraid that it's all a joke, and that everything was just to play me. I'm afraid that it's all going to go downhill. I'm afraid to say it back. I'm afraid to say it.

I should say it.

I'm afraid to say it.

I should say it, if I mean it.

I do mean it. Right?

Yes, you do.

Say it.

I can't say it. I'm afraid.

You have to say it eventually. Why not now?

I'm going through a private war raging on inside my head about this one subject, when the blanket it pulled up to my head and I am looking into Gale's face. There are tears clinging to his eyelashes, and his eyes look tinted red.

Before I can even process anything else, Gale has crashed his lips into mine and this kiss is fueled with sorrow, sadness, longing, and love. So much love. I feel love practically radiating off of him. The kiss isn't meant to be tinted with passion or anything else. It's long and steady, him not breaking his hold around me the entire time.

He breaks away and rests his forehead against mine.

"Please. Say something. Please." He pleads and I say the only thing I can think to say at this single moment and in the moment, I know that I am helplessly in love with Gale.

"I love you, too." I whisper and before he can even process what I said, I burst into tears again.

I had hoped that there would be some laughing and smiling.

Well, that didn't work out.

Gale looks horrified and pulls me to him quickly as I rest my head onto his chest. He holds me tightly around my shoulders and rocks me slowly as I'm pulled into his lap.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Madge. Please, forgive me. Please." He chokes out and I feel a tear drip onto my head.

I look up to find him crying. A lot. I do the only thing that I can allow myself to do. I kiss him softly, as if it's forgiveness. He gets the hint, and accepts, holding me tighter.

I never want to let go of him again.

"I love you. I love you so much." He whispers into my ear over and over again as I fall into a much needed sleep. The last thing I process before I'm pulled into unconsciousness is that I am loved.

I'm loved by a lot of people. My dad, my mother, Hazelle, Posy, ropy, the list goes on. But none like Gale. And I'm glad that he is my first love.

* * *

**A/N: So... Last chapter... Not my best work. Trust me, some of the reviews and PM's were harsh. I felt bad after putting it up. Hopefully, this makes up for it, and there are hints of what's to come, if you can catch it. I tried to get this up last night, because I promised several people it would be up right after i got back from mission trip (which i must say, was awesome), but after my shower, I went out like a light and didnt get up for a while. But it's up now! Anyways, thoughts? Was it to rushed? Or did you like how it fit in at all?**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: Sort of a filler chapter:**

* * *

I wake up screaming again. I have become used to nightmares, but this one is particularly awful. I was going back to the arena and it was an ocean. Almost all was water. I drowned; no one was there to save me.

I'm tangled up in sheets and digging my nails into my arms again when someone embraces me from behind and gently rocks me while desperately trying to get my nails out of my arms.

"Madge, please, stop." Gale says, terrified that I won't listen and will keep causing myself to bleed. When I don't stop, he speaks again, his voice desperate again. "Think of five good things. Say them out loud."

I struggle and stutter, trying to find the good things. "O-one: Playing the piano. T-t-two: Sunsets. T-three: Fresh cookies. Two: Rue. One: You." By the end of it, I can speak without stuttering, but my throat is raw. I remove my hands from my arms to find my nails caked with blood. My blood. I quickly begin to wipe it off on the sheet that I'm tangled up in when Gale gets me out of the sheet and leads me blindly into the bathroom and is running the warm water from the faucet over my hands.

I recoil, as I had drowned in my dream and it makes me think I'm back in my dream. Gale pushes my hands gently back under the faucet and starts to scrub the blood out from under my nails, erasing the fact that it ever happened.

"It's just water, Madge. It won't hurt you. It's like rain. It's just like rain." He murmurs into my ear and I slowly begin to relax as my breathing becomes easier. "Every time you feel something coming, recite the five good things. That's what I do. It helps."

I recite it over and over again until I lift my hands out of the sink to find water dripping off of them with small bits of blood still left on my hands and I look in the sink to find the bits of blood going down the drain and I shrink against the wall behind me. Gale crouches next to me looking concerned as I hold my now throbbing head.

"I'm a horrible person. I'm going crazy." I whimper and sighs and picks me up off of the ground and brings me back into the room. Once he sets me down on the bed, he sits next to me and tips my chin up so I'm looking at him, his eyes concerned and scared.

"You are not a horrible person, Madge. You're an amazing person who has had horrible things happen to them. Just because they have happened doesn't make you horrible. It makes you stronger that you got through it. As for crazy, you aren't. You're just as sane as everyone else is."

"I feel crazy, though." I say, and I think I sound like I'm whining.

"You aren't though. Madge, you are fine. Trust me. I'd still love you if you weren't. Just lay back down, please." He coaxes me to lie back down and I lay rigid, not wanting to sleep.

"I don't want to sleep. The nightmares will come back." I know I sound like a little child, but I don't care. I don't want to deal with the nightmares.

"Are you sure?" He asks as he lies down next to me and wraps his arm around my waist, much like when we were in the arena. I can only nod and he sighs before setting his head down on a pillow and entwining one of our hands.

I just lay there, with my head resting on his chest, hearing the familiar heartbeat and I actually feel safe. For the first time since I got out of the Capitol, I feel safe.

* * *

We don't sleep. Just lay there the entire night, listening to each other breath.

It's just hitting us now about how much pain the Games caused us. We're both pained, sleep-deprived and worried for the other.

Since both of us wake up screaming and the only person able to even talk some sense into us is the other, my father and Hazelle decide to let us stay together until the nightmares subside. As long as there is no 'funny business'. I assured my father that neither of us were in the state to be doing that, and I meant it.

So in the nights where I wake up screaming, Gale has to wash the blood out from under my nails and assure me that I'm not crazy. On the nights that Gale wakes up screaming, I have to reassure him that I'm here, and alive. And when we both wake up screaming—which is more often than not—we lay there holding each other, reciting the five things, which both include the other, over and over again until we calm down. All of this leads to not sleeping in fear of having the nightmare again, so both of us are going on less than 3 hours of sleep each night, and it's starting to take its toll.

The cycle repeats itself for several weeks. Screaming, comforting, no sleeping. Over and over again. I try to forget the looming concept off the Victory Tour and having to appear in front of Rue's family, which will be by far the hardest. Maybe besides visiting District 1, as I killed Marvel.

The cycle comes to a screeching halt one day about a month before the Victory Tour.

Once I entered the bakery, I found that once again, Katniss was there.

"Okay, the acts up. What's going on?" I must have startled Katniss and Peeta as they both jump.

"Uh, we, uh…" The both say and I smirk as I cross my arms.

"Come on. You really think I haven't noticed how you two all of the sudden are always near each other and talking? Something's up and it's about time you told someone." I continue smirking when the words pour out of the two of them moments later.

Apparently, during the Games, Katniss was having trouble adjusting, and look who was there to help! Peeta! Peeta had liked Katniss for years now and eventually, Katniss began to return his feelings and it all fell into place.

After they finish, a laugh bubbles out of me. I realize that it's the first time I've actually laughed in a few weeks.

"What was that for?" Katniss says and I notice that her usually passive face is bright red, and Peeta's is about the same shade of a brick.

"I actually find it a little funny. I thought you said that you never wanted kids, Katniss?" Peeta looks horrified at this and Katniss shrugs.

"I don't know. Maybe I changed my mind." Peeta gives her hand a reassuring squeeze and it's right then I notice how good they are for each other.

"See, that's why you two are good for each other!" I grin, probably looking like a nutter.

"And you and Gale aren't?" Peeta says and then my face is the same shade as Peeta's. We all laugh as Peeta takes my order for bread and wraps it up.

"Come on, you two." I motion for them and they follow, Peeta signing out from the bakery. They walk hand in hand as the town is completely deserted.

"So who else knows besides me?" I question and Katniss responds.

"Just my family and Peeta's brothers and father." I notice she doesn't mention Peeta's mom. She is a witch, so I don't blame them for not telling her.

"Not Gale?"

"Nope."

It stirs a memory about bread. "How long have you two exactly been together?"

"Um…" Katniss and Peeta look at each other, trying to decide when. "Maybe… After the girl almost cut off your arm." I cringe and they quickly change the subject. "But, it's all good now!" Peeta effortlessly throws his arm around Katniss's shoulders and she grins.

I grin back at her as we finish making our way back to my house. That's the only time that Peeta removes his arm from Katniss and they step away from each other slightly.

"Why are you letting the world know?" I ask and Peeta speaks.

"It's not exactly socially correct."

I snort. "So? I'm from town and Gale's from the Seam and we don't care."

"Good point, but you two are Victors." Peeta says after he holds Katniss's hand again. I'm smiling to myself when I open my door to find the house oddly quiet. I mean, it's usually quiet, but not this quiet.

"Dad?" I call out to find a note taped to the fridge.

_I had to go into the office. I'll be back by 7._

_Love you._

I sigh before putting the bread in the pantry.

"I'll be right back." I start up the stairs to change when I hear something from behind my mother's door. Panic sets in almost immediately.

I slide open the door and stick my head in to immediately wish I hadn't.

My mother's there all right. And she's dead. I stumble into the room, my throat beginning to scream. When I do scream, I fall against the wall and crack one of the picture frames before falling all the way to the ground. I hear footsteps pounding up the stairs and the door flying open as Peeta and Katniss take in the sight.

"Peeta. Stay here. I'm going to get someone."

Peeta crouches down behind me and I keep opening my mouth and closing it in shock as I realize that my mother is dead. Dead.

"It's going to be okay, Madge. It will be okay." He repeats over and over again but I can only cry, as the tears turn to sobs. Which turn to hysterical sobs.

My mom is dead.

A few moments later, Haymitch is here, ushering me out of the room and down the stairs blindly to the sitting room where he sits me in a chair and makes me explain. I can't explain because I don't know anything! I don't know what happened!

It's not long before Mrs. Everdeen and Hazelle and Gale are here and Mrs. Everdeen goes upstairs immediately and Hazelle follows. Gale, on the other hand, comes to my side immediately and cradles me in his arms. Katniss and Peeta blend into the background looking sorrowful.

In fact, everything blends. I begin to see nothing except swirls of color. My brain muddles everything going on around me.

I vaguely begin to hear bits of conversations.

"…Poisoned…"

"…Do anything about it?"

"…Can't reverse it…gone…"

And then I slip out completely, forgetting that I live in this world, not one of my own creation.

* * *

I'm depressed. That's my only conclusion. I'm lost in depression, and my own world where everyone is still alive and the Games didn't exist. I wish that world was real. I know it isn't, because my mother is dead. So is Rue. And so are a thousand other people.

I don't even leave for my mother's funeral. I sit in the same armchair in my room, staring blankly out of the window all day. Haymitch comes every night and stays there with me trying to force me to eat, sleep, do anything, but I have no energy to do anything. I don't want to do anything. And every morning, whoever feels like coming around does, and they stay until noon, when Gale comes.

I don't even acknowledge that he tries to get me to talk. I can't. It seems I have lost the ability to speak, along with the ability to live.

I don't want to live. There is no one who cares about me. There's no one who would care if I was gone from this world or not.

Days pass, and I become more and more cut off from the world. My hair feels like it has become matted and my skin feels leathery. I never blink, never eat, and never sleep. I can feel myself slowly dying from the inside out but I can't seem to try and stop it.

I hear bits and pieces of conversations that people have in passing times, but I can't make much sense of them, besides the fact that I'm getting worse.

One night, Haymitch carries me over to the piano and sits me down on the bench. I keep my gaze locked on the black and white keys as he puts one of my thin, white hands on the key and presses down.

The note is sweet, not too high and not to low and I feel a sliver of my old self returning when I slowly play a tune. It's Rue's tune. I play it over and over again until I begin to feel sick and submerge myself back under the black cloud that is pressing over me.

That same day, Peeta and Katniss are over in the morning and Peeta bakes bread and Katniss sings. It doesn't do anything to help me, but it is soothing to listen to.

But it's the afternoon and evening that has the most effect on me. Gale brings Posy over with him. The minute the door is closed, Posy begins to run into the living room and I hear her tiny footsteps stop short once she's in here.

Gale picks her up and sets her down next to my chair while he goes into the kitchen to put some game away from his morning hunt, I assume.

Posy begins to talk, but I can't hear anything. I can only hear sadness and see blackness.

I'm drifting back into my other world, trying to block it out. I am successful.

I'm in the meadow, with my mother and father. And we're… _Happy._ We haven't been fully happy since, well, never.

We're dancing and singing and joking around when I'm beginning to be pulled out of my reality and into the real one.

"…And then we were playing hide and seek and Vick hid…" Someone was saying but I forced myself to ignore it and I succumbed myself back under, but the voice was persistent.

"…then, I scared Rory and he…" The voice keeps talking and I vaguely hear it, as I keep struggling to go back under. Damnit, just let me die already! I want to die!

Then, suddenly, I'm out entirely. I feel different. The voice has stopped talking and I register that I'm my throat is dry and parched, my stomach empty and feels like the size of a walnut, and I'm really, really, cold.

"Please come back, Madge. Nothing is fun anymore." She whispers.

It was Posy. Who was talking. Gale is carrying her away when I realize that I don't want to die. I want to live. I want to be able to live my life, get married, I don't know, have children. I can't just leave when I don't feel good. I have to get through it. And yeah, I know I lost my mother. I know I'll be sad for a while, but even the worst injuries will fade over time.

I turn my crackly neck and blink a few times to focus on what's going on around me. The house is dim, except for the light coming from the kitchen. I see a silhouette of Gale setting Posy down on a chair at the table before getting her a glass of water.

I flex my fingers, realizing then how stiff my hands are and I'm pretty sure that's how the rest of my body is.

I then utter my first words in what must be days because my voice is quiet, scratchy, and pathetic. "I'm so cold, Gale."

He freezes as the glass of water goes crashing to the floor. He turns to me slowly, as if not believing it was me who was talking.

He swallows and when he speaks his voice catches in his throat. "Madge…" He's then slowly walking over to me, but not before grabbing a blanket and he finishes making his way over before he places the blanket over my shoulders and falls to his knees and takes one of my hands in his. "I thought you weren't going to come back…" Nothing else is said as he embraces me tightly, slowly returning all warmth and thought that I am wanted in this world. Posy joins into the hug and then I'm crying softly.

Maybe not everyone wants me. But I know that the people around me do want me here.

* * *

**A/N: I really didnt want to kill off Madge's mother, but more with her will be explained, including what Gale talked to Madge's parents about after they got back. Anyways, i also didnt want to keep depressed Madge there too long, but it might be back later/:**

**Thoughts?**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: Several hints in this chapter.**

* * *

After several minutes of Gale and Posy hugging me, Gale takes a shaky breath. "You sat there for two weeks, Madge. Not doing anything. Not sleeping, not eating, nothing. I got so worried that I was going to lose you. I can't lose you. I will not allow it. Not anymore." He continues to hold me before he pulls my fragile frame into his lap on the ground. Posy clambers into my lap, smiling. She must know that something changed.

It was Posy who got me out. Just her saying everything that had been going on caused me to come back. And I'm going to be forever grateful to her. I hold Posy to me as if she is my lifeline, and technically, in a way, she is. She holds my neck and I lean back against Gale, tears leaking down my face and he wraps his arms around the both of us.

We sit for several more minutes before I choke out words. "What happened?"

"Madge. I-I don't want to talk about—" Gale begins but I cut him off quietly.

"I need to know, Gale. I want to know."

He takes a deep breath before he launches into the story, which shatters my heart. "After you left, we figured out what happened. Your mother was poisoned. The morphling was laced with poison and had barely been injected in her moments before you went it there." So that was the noise, I think. I'm still confused. "It wasn't her who injected it though. Someone else was in there just before you entered. He's gone now. Someone injected it in her, right before you found her." I choke back a sob. If I hadn't been talking to Peeta and Katniss, my mother might be here right now. As if reading my mind, Gale speaks again, his voice hollow and empty, yet concerned. "They blame themselves. Katniss and Peeta."

I shake my head, over and over again, because I know it isn't their fault. It's mine. Because of… of… the deadline. "The deadline!" I cry out and Gale moves Posy gently so he can hold me. "His deadline!"

"I know, baby, I know. I realized it too." I turn so my face is resting on his shoulder and my tears soak his shirt instantly. I don't care that his shirt is wrinkled, I don't care that it's soiled, I just need him to be there.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being like this." I whisper and Gale tenses, but then goes back to rubbing my back.

"You shouldn't have to apologize for acting like this, Madge. You don't have to apologize for this; we all have our rough moments." He says gently as I keep crying. Posy wedges her way in between us and looks up at me.

"Are you okay, Madge?"

I sniffle before nodding. "Then why are you crying?" Of course, to her four year old mind, crying equals sadness, just as smiling equals happiness, and kissing equals love.

I shrug and begin to cry more as Posy gives me a hug.

"I want to go upstairs." I say so suddenly, I shock myself. I want to see where my mother last was and try to remember any last shred of a memory.

"Are you sure?" Gale asks, and for a minute I'm unsure and begin to feel as if I'm drifting off again, but then Gale forces my chin up so my eyes meet his, and I can focus once I meet his gentle yet strong eyes.

I nod again and I hear Gale ask Posy something. She runs out before he helps me stand on my own unsteady two feet and help me shakily walk up the stairs. Every step up feels as if I'm going toward my impending doom, and I feel the black cloud come back because I know I'm going to see where my mother died.

By the time I'm upstairs and outside of the closed door, I'm sweaty and shaky and my legs are threatening to give out. I clutch the door handle for a moment before slowly turning the golden knob and pushing the door open.

I don't know what I'm expecting; maybe a shrine for her, but nothing looks different than when she was here. The only thing different is the cracked picture on the wall.

I stand in shock for a minute, taking in the scene when I feel my feet begin to slowly walk, the blanket still around my shoulders trailing the ground. I cross to the bed and sit tenderly on it, feeling the cold sheet where I knew my mother once lied. I crawl over the bed to where the morphling would always lie on the nightstand. Even that is gone. I feel tears threatening to slip out again, but I push them back against my will. I look at the window, to find that it is unlocked. That's funny. It's always locked.

I cross to it and open it effortlessly. Why isn't it locked?

"It was like that after you found her." Gale says, reading my mind again. When did he learn to do that?

I sit back down on the bed and tears fall now. I hear Gale cross the room and he holds me for what feels like hours.

Eventually, Gale carries me to where I used to sleep, before she died. Once he lays me down, he pulls a chair from the desk and then scuffles through the desk, trying to find something. When he does, I find that it is an envelope and a small box. He hands it to me.

"She told me to give this to you, if anything happened." That's all he has to say before I'm slowly opening the envelope with shaking fingers and when I do get it open, I curl into a ball before reading the letter in the familiar loopy handwriting I knew so well.

_Madge, my darling, _

_If you are reading this, than I am gone. I've known what was going to happen for a while, starting with you begin reaped. Then when you came out with Gale, I knew something really bad was going to happen, but I kept fighting. For years now, your father and I have been part of a resistance. Against the Capitol. And after that evil man wanted to sell you to people, I knew that you wouldn't accept and I would be the first to go. I'm glad you didn't except. Even if it meant me living, I wouldn't be able to stand knowing what was happening to you. _

_After you came back, the boy came to talk to me while you were sleeping. He said that he knew the Capitol was angry with you two, for both coming out. He said that he had a feeling that something bad would happen sooner or later, most likely with the Quell. He said he was going to protect you until he died, and if something didn't happen with Quell, he was going to marry you. He's a good man, he will protect you. Trust him. And I know that if you're reading this, you probably already trust him, but I just want to make sure._

_Sweetheart, I love you. For whatever happens, I love you. You are my pride and joy, no matter how much I've been out of your life. You look like your aunt, but you are so much unlike her. You are both kind, but you know how to calm people down. I remember one day when Peeta Meelark was over and he was talking about how his mother was cruel and evil and you were the only one who could make him stop talking. And then, just recently, when I saw you after you got off of the train, you gave me forgivnance immediately, even if I didn't deserve any of it. Thank you for being the wonderful daughter I have always loved. I always will love you, even if I'm gone. I won't be gone. I'm in your heart, and you're in the hearts of many. I love you, Madge._

_Mommy_

When I'm done I find myself staring at the page, tears pooling in my eyes. My mother actually loved me. A choked sob escapes my lips as I clutch the letter to me and pull the blanket over my head. My sniffles turn into pronounced cries into edge-of-hysteria sobs. Gale doesn't do anything but rub my back in circles over and over again until I begin to calm down again.

I pull the blanket off of my head and launch myself into Gale's outstretched arms, and there I cry for several more minutes until Gale nudges me softly.

"She wanted you to have this." He says before handing me the box he grabbed earlier. I stare at it before slowly taking off the top and looking at the thing inside.

"Oh, hell…" I say before taking it out of the box and feel my lower lip begin to tremble. It's my mothers old necklace. It's a small, old, tainted, heart. I've seen this so many times before. I turn it over blindly and finger the word that I know is there: Believe.

I take a shaky breath before I fumble to put it on my neck, and Gale helps me, and then after it's on, I'm completely exhausted. I fall back on the covers and press the heels of my hands in my eye sockets as two more tears leak out and Gale brushes them away gently.

"You should sleep." He tells me as he untangles the knots in my hair. I shake my head, knowing the nightmares will practically kill me tonight. "Please, Madge. Sleep."

I keep shaking my head over and over as Haymitch walks in the room, along with Hazelle.

"Hey, sweetheart." Haymitch says weakly before embracing me lightly. There is only a faint smell of stale alcohol, but it smells like he hasn't showered in a few days. He whispers to Gale, next, "You should go home, get some sleep."

"I'm not leaving." He says, crossing his arms across his chest. Leave it to Gale to be stubborn.

"You look like you haven't slept in days." Hazelle tells him and he shrugs.

"Because I haven't, Mom." He grumbles back as Hazelle embraces my already small frame.

"Go get her cleaned up." Haymitch tells Hazelle gruffly and Hazelle slowly gets me into the bathroom as Gale starts to follow, but Haymitch pulls him back.

"I know you don't want to leave her, but give her some space." Gale grumbles at this and falls back onto the bed. I'm pretty sure that he'll be asleep before I get back out there.

Once I'm in the bathroom, Hazelle washes my hair and bathes me like I'm a child again, and I don't think she cares that I'm naked, she just wants me to be better.

When I'm dried off, she allows me to dress myself and then wraps the blanket around my shoulders again. It smells like smoke. It smells like Gale, really. The thought brings tears to my eyes as Hazelle brushes out my now clean hair.

"There you go, all better now." She tells me. I'm not sure whether to believe her or not. I won't be better for a while. And to think, I have the Victory Tour coming up. The thought really makes me shudder.

Hazelle leaves to go get something and as she leaves the bathroom, I hear murmured voices, Gale's and Haymitch's.

I move as fast as I can to the door and press my ear up against it, to try and hear what they're saying.

"…You will have to tell her beforehand, you do realize it, right?" Haymitch speaks, sounding harsh.

"I know, Abernathy. I just didn't want it to be because of them." Gale growls and I hear Haymitch lets out a hearty laugh that doesn't sound like himself.

"You don't have a choice, boy. They will try to break the both of you even more if you don't manage to convince them." Convince them, on what?

"I'm already broken. What they did to her made me break and I thought we managed that when we were there."

"Apparently not to him. He'll do anything to break you two. You have to make this work, and the only way to make it work, is to tell her of the plan so she knows and isn't completely shocked."

"I kinda wanted it to be a surprise, just to see what she said."

"You know that won't work." I hear Hazelle's voice and I know I have to stop listening to the conversation, before they find out I was listening.

I sit back down on the ground fiddling with the strings on the blanket when Hazelle comes back in and helps me get back into my room where Gale embraces me again. He leads me to the bed and sets me down gently, before he wraps the blanket around me again.

"You hungry?" He asks and I nod, and begins to feed me soup that Hazelle probably brought up. About after halfway through the bowl I begin to feel nauseous and push it away.

I curl back into a ball and finger my necklace. What on _earth _were Gale and Haymitch talking about? I know it had something to do with me. I know that much. I guess I'll just have to bug them about it when I'm feeling well enough.

Gale is holding my hand and tracing little circles on it and it causes me to lull into a sleep. Not a dreamless one, but a sleep.

* * *

**A/N: OKay, so i know Gale usually doesnt have a sensative side, but i figured that if he loved someone, it would be different :P. Wow, i'm booking it with these chapters! Dont get used to it though, i have a ton of summer homework i havent started yet. I'm not exactly happy with the outcomes with this chapter. It might be confusing and stuff. Meh. I'm writing this and i'm half asleep, so there may be a few mistakes. SOrry it there are. Whatever. Thoughts?**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: Suzanne Collins owns everything.**

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The next couple of days pass with me trying to get back to my normal self, and there are actually improvements. I begin to eat more and sleep more peacefully, but still with slight nightmares. Gale on the other hand, does not get sleep as he's by my side every waking hour of the day. I mean, I love him and all, just he needs sleep too. With the Victory Tour coming up in less than 2 weeks, we need all the sleep we can possibly get. But, as I'm still hurting over my mother, it takes me a while to fall asleep. Gale apparently stays up all night making sure I don't like claw myself to death or something. He says he's not tired, but I can see right through the lie.

I'm going to tell him this one day but he tells me to put on slick soled shoes.

"Why?" I question, completely baffled on what he wants to do.

"Just trust me." He says back and I do as he says and then I go back to him.

"Are you going to tell me now?"

"Nope." He says with a smile before kissing me.

"You're horrible you know that?" I murmur in between our lips.

"And you make my head spin, do you know that?" He murmurs back and I smile through the kiss. You know that you're perfectly comfortable with someone when you can smile while kissing them. He breaks it first. "Come on, get your coat on."

"Where are we going?"

"Be patient, Madge!" I cross my arms but still go upstairs to get my heavy coat. Cinna designed it for winter and snow, but it's not snowing yet but I guess I'll wear it.

I'm still a little weak so when I get down the stairs I'm a little dizzy. Gale's eyes light up when I walk back over to him. I feel a light blush come onto my cheeks as Gale smiles at me.

"Come on, follow me." He says as he twines my hand with his and we leave the house.

* * *

As we are on our way to wherever we're going, I slip twice on some ice.

"Why on earth did you want me to wear slick soled shoes? I'm gonna slip and die before we even get to where we're going." I tell him and he chuckles.

"Don't worry. I got you." He says as he slips an arm around my waist, and we continue to walk along in comfortable silence when we get to the fence.

"Oh no. You are not getting me over that thing." I say while backing up from Gale quickly.

He turns around at me and crosses his arms, smirking. "Don't you trust me?"

"With my life, but…" I trail off as Gale is looking at me with the pleading eyes. I cave. "Fine." I grumble and he smiles again.

I do trust Gale with my life. He's the only one who I would trust with it, maybe perhaps Haymitch, but not of late. He holds up the chain link fence as I slide under it and then I do the same for him. After he's under, we walk a little further into the woods and I'm amazed at how much beauty is in the woods. I'm in awe of how many animals live here and all of the mockingjays that live in the trees.

I keep twisting my head around and around trying to get a glimpse of everything. Gale chuckles at me a few times.

We stop once so he can grab his bow and arrows, and then he tells me to close my eyes.

"Gale, why?" I question but he just repeats and I give in again and close my eyes. He links my hand with his and we keep walking. He doesn't let go of my hand and he tells me when to step or something. After what feels like miles, we stop and he stations me in front of him.

"Open your eyes." He whispers in my ear and I do. And I want to go back. It's a lake with trees and a waterfall. I'm speechless, but not for the good reason. It's a lake, I don't know how to swim, I'm afraid of water.

I realize I've been quiet for a little so I force myself to speak. "It's—uh—I—it's… Nice." I finally force out, not looking at Gale, but at my feet.

"You okay?"

"It's a lake."

"A frozen lake. You aren't going swimming. Watch." He leaves my side and goes to stand out on the ice. I'm afraid that it's going to break under his weight. "See? It's fine." He starts to slide around and I understand why he wanted me to wear shoes like this. "Come on, Madge, nothing is going to happen. I'll be right here."

I get over my shock and slowly walk to the edge where the ice starts. I put one foot on it and instantly feel myself slipping. Gale slides over to me and takes my hands, causing me to put both feet on the ice.

"I will not let you fall, Madge, I swear." He says, sensing my discomfort. I nod before sliding along with Gale. He shows me how to slide and I fall a couple of times, but end up laughing.

After a while, I can feel something landing on me head and I look up.

"It's snowing! Gale, it's snowing!" I look up and admire the light snow falling when Gale pulls my hips until I collide into him.

"Do you like it?" He murmurs in my ear and I nod.

"As long as I don't have to swim." He laughs before grabbing me around the waist and spinning me. I'm laughing and telling him to stop, but he doesn't because he's just stubborn like that. We crash into the bank laughing in each other's arms.

"God, I love you." Gale says and my face goes from pale to bright red. I can feel the blush seeping up into my face.

"I love you, too."

"I've always wanted to hear you say those words." He murmurs before he's kissing me, fiercely and passionately. My hand reaches up and tangles in his hair as his tangles in mine. Our lips move together as one until he dips down to suck on my exposed neck. As he does this, he moves me so I'm in his lap fully and I wrap my legs around his waist.

He moves his lips back to mine and I feel his tongue enter my mouth and I don't hesitate to respond.

I'm sure we would've gone further if I hadn't heard a low growl from behind Gale. I open my eyes to find the biggest wolf I have ever seen in my life. It's gray and silver fur is sprinkled in snow and it's yellow eyes are narrowed and it's shining white teeth barred.

The wolf pounces before I can do anything. It skids right over our heads and I feel it's claws graze the top of my head. It reminds me of the mutts from the arena.

I scream as Gale reacts and lunges for his bow. The wolf is slipping on the ice and it's claws do nothing

"Get behind me!" He bellows at me and I do so quickly. Gale has strung the bow and is notching an arrow when the wolf pounces at us again. Gale moves a split-second before it meets us so it's me who gets the full blow.

I scream as the wolf lands on me and I fly to the ground and land painfully on my back. The wolf is ready to I think eat me when an arrow pierces the side of the wolf and it falls to the side, dead.

"Madge!" Gale shouts as he's coming towards me. I can't move. I'm terrified, I'm shaking, and I'm shocked. "Did it get you? Madge, did it get you?" He says frantically and I shake my head as he embraces me. I'm to shocked to do anything but sit there in the falling snow. The wolf was just like the mutt. Just like it.

"It-it- was like the mutt." I whimper before I press my eyes closed with the heels of my hands.

"I know, Madge. Come on, let's go." I allow him to stand me up and lace my hand with his before we start walking. I don't speak for most of the walk home. Then, a thought comes to mind.

"Gale?" I ask him.

"Yeah?" He sounds relieved that I spoke.

"Is President Snow mad at us?"

I must startle him because his breath quickens.

"Why do you ask?"

"I don't know, really. Because when he came to me, he seemed mad."

"Do you want the truth, or some lie I made up?" He asks exasperated.

"Truth."

He sighs. "He's furious. Only one of us was supposed to come out of that arena, not both. The Head Gamemaker, you know, Seneca Crane? Well, when he didn't blow one of us to bits in the arena President Snow executed him. So he's dead." My mouth falls open at it's own accord as Gale continues. "And, according to Snow, we don't actually love each other." My mouth falls even further and Gale laughs dryly. "That's what I thought, when he told me."

"When did he tell you this?" My voice is cold, and angry.

"The day he came to me. I didn't want to tell you that day because... Well, you remember." Yes, I do remember.

"What did he say?"

"He said that he wasn't convinced by our 'performance' or something, and that if we didn't find a way to convince him that we did love each other, bad things would happen."

"Haven't they already happened?" I ask and Gale's grip on my hand becomes painfully tight. He doesn't answer that question, but plows through in his story.

"So, Haymitch and I have a plan." My eyes jerk up from the ground to his. Is this the plan they were talking about a few nights ago?

"What is it?" I ask, trying to sound nonchalant.

He takes a deep breath. "That we get married." My heart stops, then starts again beating painfully fast. I stop myself and turn to face Gale.

"I'm only sixteen. My father would kill me."

He drops his eyes. "I know. I told Haymitch that, and he just shrugged and said that there was another option but I said no to it instanetly."

"What was it?" If he was avoiding my eyes a second ago, he is really avoiding my eyes now.

"That... That you have a kid." I think time literally stops. I'm only sixteen! I don't want to have a child!

"I think I'll go with the first option, thank you." I know I sound cold and mean, but it Haymitch really thought I was going to allow myself to bear a child, then he doesn't know me.

Gale smiles while looking down. "That's what I would go with too."

"If Haymitch really thinks I'm going to get myself pregnant, then he doesn't know me. How long has this plan of yours been in the making?"

"About a couple of weeks." He says quickly, probably knowing that now is not the time to lie to me about this. Huh. So they thought of this while I was in my own world.

"Were you going to tell me beforehand?"

"I didn't want it to be like this, Madge. I didn't want them to force you into anything and-"

"Gale, it's not your fault."

"Yes, it is, Madge. If I had just died-"

"Don't talk like that. I don't want you to die, and I didn't want you too in the arena. I wouldn't be able to keep going, I probably would've killed myself by now."

"Madge-" That's all he gets out before I plant my lips on his and kiss him softly. When I break away I bury my face in his chest.

"I need you, Gale." He wraps his arms around my shoulders and I wrap mine around his chest. He rests his head on top of mine.

"I need you too, Madge."

* * *

_A/N: MOstly a filler chapter, some stuff said in chapter will come back though. _


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I had way to much fun writing this chapter.**

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About a day before our prep teams and stylists come to re-make us, Gale says that he wants to talk to my father about something.

It stings because I haven't talked to him since before my mothers death.

"Why?"

"I just need to talk to him." He says simply.

I shrug. "Okay, but I don't know where he'll be. I haven't seen him in a while."  
I turn on the back porch to watch the snow fall onto the already snow-littered ground. Gale leaves me be and leaves.

That's when I decide that I need to do something. I need to go visit my mother.

I hadn't mustered up the courage to yet because I was afraid that I would breakdown and hurt myself, but I know I'll have to someday. And today's gonna be that day.

After I change into my jacket and pants, I trudge into the snow, pulling on the knit cap my dad got me one year. I hadn't like it much then, but now, in the below freezing weather, it's pretty nice to have something covering my ears.  
I can hardly see my way to the graveyard, but I know it by heart. Once there, I walk to her grave like I have been going for years, even though this is the first day. Shea buried next to my aunt.

Oh, how that hurts.

I kneel down next the grave marker and run my fingers over the freshly ingrates words. 'Maryland Donner Undersee. A loving mother, wife, and sister.'

Even looking at the words makes me want to cry, but I know I have to remain strong for her. I pull my knees up to my chest and speak in a strangled voice.

"Hey, Mom. You used to love this time of year. My earliest memory of you is the two of us sitting by the fire in our house just talking and drinking hot chocolate. You told me something that day, something that I didn't come to understand recently. You told me that you were going through a hard time in your life and several mountains in front of you. You said that the only way to get over the mountains was to keep climbing and holding your head high. I didn't get it. But now I do. It means that every person has problems in front of them, and the only way to move on, is to climb over them. Even if you have problems, it doesn't mean you should give up."

"By turning down President Snow, I essentially killed you. And I'm sorry. So sorry." My voice breaks. "I know I wasn't the best daughter ever, but I tried. I tried so hard to help you. And all I ended up doing was killing you. I'm sorry."

"I don't know if you really knew who I was when I sat by your bed, or when I helped you with the morphling. But I knew who you were. You were my mom, and I loved you. I don't care if you didn't know who I was, because I Love you."

As I talk it feels as if a ginormous pressure in my chest is ebbing away slowly, becoming nothing more than a small mountain that I will have no problem getting over.

When I'm done, I take off her necklace and bury it as deep as I can in the frozen dirt between her and my aunts grave.

Believe, it says. I believe that I will be okay. I believe that they will be okay. We will be okay. The snow is falling thickly now and does good obscuring my silent tears. I'm glad I went to see her. I would've been moping to myself for the next couple of weeks on the Victory Tour.

Once I'm back at my house, I quickly start a fire and in no time, the living room is lit up with warmth and shadows lurk on the walls. But I'm not afraid. I make some tea and change out of my wet clothing and put on a fleece sweatshirt and jeans.

I then curl up on the couch and open up some of the old photo albums featuring me, my dad and my mother when our broken family was pieced together.

The first picture I see makes me laugh out loud. It's a picture of 3 year old me and my mother, both dressed up in crazy costumes, probably imitating Capitol residents. I have on a bright pink skirt that goes to my ankles and bright green platform heels. My shirt is some glittery thing. My face is the most crazy. I can tell you this: bright pink lipstick, orange eye shadow, and purple blush do not go well together.

My mother is dressed almost identical to me except her hair is spiked up in odd places. We're both smiling widely. Oh, the fun we had together.

The next picture is me curled up in my fathers lap, obviously asleep, and it looks as if I'm covered in flour.

The next picture solves why I'm covered in flour. It's my father and I, trying to make cookies, but having it turn into a flour war.

The usually sparkling clean cabinets and ground is covered in gritty white and the occasional bit of sprinkle or something. It looks as if my dad had just thrown flour at me because I have a shocked expression, but smiling all the way.

There are several more pictures of that day, including the final product of our cookies, which basically look like rock cakes or something.

Then a picture of my mom trying one. Her face is pinched up, like she just squeezed a lemon into her mouth. I take it they didn't taste good.

I flip the page and is mortified. It's me in the bathtub around age 4. I quickly turn the page and decide not to look at those.

Next, are pictures of me and occasionally Peeta and his brothers. We seem to be having some cookout in my backyard. Peeta and I are attempting to do handstands and such as his brothers attempt to push us over when we finally manage it.

There's one of me, feet straight up in the air, as Peeta's older brother is coming at me. The next is me flat on my back, while Peeta and his brothers roll around in laughter on the ground.

I find that I'm smiling at all of these pictures until I find one that puzzles me. Haymitch is in one. He's holding a baby, with bright blue eyes and rosy red cheeks, as if they were just born. I realize that it's me. Hump. Haymitch knew my mother then. I wonder why that was never mentioned. My mood is forgotten when I get into my baby pictures.

First, there's me after I was just born, screaming and wailing my head off while my mother is collapsed in the bed. I can see the remains of shattered objects on the floor in the room.

Then, me in my mom's arms. She looks so happy to see me. Like I'm the only thing that mattered into the world at the moment.

Next one is my dad holding me and he looks the same way. It carries on with more people holding me until we get to very old people in hospital beds holding me. They must be my grandparents. They died when I was very young.

It goes through my life, starting with my first steps, to my first tooth, to losing my first tooth, to starting school, so on and so forth. There's one that really catches my eye though.

It's my father and me, in my bedroom. We dont seem to realize that someone is taking the picture because we're engrossed into a bedtime book that's titled "Little Sally Gets Home." I seem to be struggling to read it with my dad nodding and helping me pronounce the words in the book. Before I know it, I'm wiping happy tears from my face. The front door opens and closes and my dad's voice rings throughout the house.

"Madge?"

"In here!" I call back, trying to suppress my grin. I hear two sets of feet come down the hall, one quieter than the other, which I know is not my father. He could never control how loud his footsteps were.

"What are you doing?" he asks, as he walks into the room, with Gale behind him.

"Nothing. Just looking."

"At?"

"Pictures." I keep turning the pages as my dad sits on one side of me and Gale on the other.

My dad chuckles. "I forgot we had these. I haven't looked at them in years." he says as he slides a picture of me with put my two front teeth out of the little slot thing and examines it. "You lost all of your teeth at one time and could only eat mashed potatoes and such for a while."

I laugh and take the picture from him."Was I sick of them by the time I could eat real food again?"

"Never allowed us to have them again." I laugh again and slide the picture back in the slot. I turn the page and immediately wish I hadn't. Its baby me in the bathtub. Wailing my head off. I feel my face grow hot as my dad laughs and rips the book out of my hands.

"You never shut up." he chuckles and I groan as Gale laughs.

"She never does now."

"Shut up!" I elbow Gale in the side. My dad turns the page again and I groan again as this time its Gale who takes the book.

"Was that you?" He asks in disbelief as he points to a picture in the right corner. It's me and Peeta again, both of us covered in dirt. I have grass stuck in my hair and dirt all over my face. We're under a table lying next to each other, laughing hysterically at something.

"Oh my gosh, that is! I forgot about these!" my dad says quickly.

"When was this?"

"You were about five I think. We were over at the Mellarks because John invited us." I know that is Peeta's dad. His mother must not have been around. "Jake, Peeta's brother, had tried to make a pyramid with you two, with him on the top."

He points to another picture with Peeta and I groaning under the weight of him. Our 'pyramid' isn't actually a pyramid. It was more of a blob on the ground. We direct our attention back to the other picture. "This was after when you saw Jake roll down the hill by their house."

"Adorable..." I hear Gale say under his breath. I smile to myself.

We keep looking at pictures with the occasional comment about something when we get to the really embarrassing ones, which include me with a pie on my head and my mother, who has just begun to lose herself, smiling faintly from above me.

I look about seven, with some teeth missing here and there. Then there's some more in the bathtub stuff with I automatically skip through as Gale and my father laugh at me.

Gale looks at my red and fuming face and speaks. "Aw, you're cute when you're mad." He brushes some hair out of my face.

"Then I'm about to get real adorable." I growl and they just laugh more. There's one of me on the roof.

"How on earth did I get up there?"

"You were a little monkey. Climbed on chairs, trees in the yard, and yes, roofs." My dad says, chuckling.

"Explain to me why I can't do any of that now?" I giggle and my dad shrugs.

"One day you could and the next well, you couldn't." The pictures continue with embarrassing ones and my mother is slowly fading out of the pictures.

It's getting into more recent ones with me either reading, or playing the piano, or trying to hide my face from the camera. The last picture in the book looks the most recent.

I'm sleeping on our couch, curled up into a ball with a blanket curled around me. My hair is all over the place, but mostly in my face. Gale chuckles. I ignore him and turn to my dad.

"When was this taken?"

He shifts uncomfortably. "The night before you got reaped." Oh. The day my life turned upside down. Gale takes that as his cue to leave. I walk him to the door and onto the porch. I shiver in my bare feet.

"See you tomorrow then?" Gale says as he embraces me.

"I guess." I sigh. He kisses the tip of my nose.

"You two have a lot to talk about." he whispers and I nod. "Good luck." he smirks and I roll my eyes.

I know I have to talk to my dad about everything. Today's that day. I go back inside the house and shake off the bits of snow that fell on me and pad back down the hall to the living room to find my dad looking at the pictures.

"You were an interesting child." He chuckles as I sit back down next to him and pull the blanket around me again.

"I think we need to talk, Madge." he says suddenly putting the book down on the coffee table. I nod. We haven't actually talked since before the reaping.

"You really like him don't you?" He asks and I know he means Gale.

"I love him, Dad."

"I can tell. I see it in the way you two look at each other that you look at each other." I feel my face grow hot again. "It's not something to be ashamed of, Madge."

"I know."

"Another thing, your um, episodes." I groan and bury my face in the blanket. I know what he's talking about. When I claw myself to death because of a dream or something. "You have to stop it, Madge. Maybe talk about it, but anything but hurting yourself."

"It's hard. Everything I see reminds me of the arena. It's never going to stop."

"All memories fade. Soon, the dreams will come once a week, then once a month, then every three months and so on. Eventually, maybe you will forget the worst of it."

"It's been 25 years for Haymitch, and he still calls me Maysilee." I spit out and he looks shocked.

"What?"

"He still calls me Maysilee at times. The memories will never fade."

"They will Madge, hopefully soon. I don't like to see you hurting yourself."

"You sound like Gale." I mutter under my breath and my dad cracks a smile.

"Looks like we care about you. Speaking of Gale, he came to talk to me."

I raise my eyes and look at him. "About?"

"The marriage." I groan and divert my eyes.

"I told him that you were only 16 and much too young to get married.""I'm almost 17, though." it's true. I would turn 17 just days after we get home from the Tour."

"Still. He also said that there was another option, but that you two declined that instantly. If you don't mind me asking, what was it?"

Well, I probably shouldn't lie to him about it. "That I got pregnant."

He freezes quickly and looks at me. "I'm good with the first choice."

"Uh-huh."

"So what's supposed to happen?"

"No clue. Haymitch has been too intoxicated to tell us anything about it. Speaking of Haymitch," I pull the book out of my father's hands and flip to the page with Haymitch on it. "Explanation please?"

He shifts uncomfortably again. "Your mother was friends with him."

"Friends? Why was this never mentioned?" I study the picture while my dad struggles to find the words. Haymitch looks younger. Not as out of shape, but younger. His hair is still shaggy and I know that even then he was a drunk.

"He-well-your mom was friends with him after the Quarter Quell and-" He abruptly tries to explain everything but I cut him off.

"it's okay, Dad, I get it."

"No, Madge, I need to tell you. Haymitch is well, your Godfather."I freeze on the spot and turn.

"He's my what?" there is so much ice in my voice the fire might freeze over.

"Your Godfather." in an instant, I'm pulling on shoes and charging out the door to Haymitch's. Soon enough, I've made it through the mountains of snow to see Haymitch's house come into view. I wrench the door open and the foul odor of stale liquor and just pure neglect hits me. I gag.

"Haymitch Abernathy!" I shout through the house to find silence except for my voice echoing. I charge into the kitchen to find Haymitch passed out on the table, liquor in one hand, a sharp knife in the other. I rip the knife out of his hand and it clatters to the ground. I dump ice cold water on him and the comes up, shouting every word of profanity I have ever heard. Through his blurry and red eyes he deciphers me.

"Hey, sweetheart."

"Don't 'sweetheart' me, Abernathy." I hiss out and he looks amused.

"Well don't get your panties in a twist." he stands up shakily and walks to the dirty cabinet, and pulls more liquor out. I grab it out of his hands in a flash and throw it on the ground.

I jab a finger into his dirty undershirt and just yell. "Godfather? What the hell does that mean?"

He just laughs at me. "It was your mothers idea. Apparently I'm supposed to watch over you if something were to happen to your parents."

"Well, you could've told me like a long time ago! Why didn't you tell me?"

"You would've thought I was responsible for you." He slurs and reaches for another bottle. I smash it again.

"No more liquor, Haymitch! I'm sick and tired of you just drinking to drown your sorrows! And yes, Haymitch, you are responsible for me because my mother is dead and my father is probably on the way to it! Or we're you to intoxicated to notice that my mother died?!"

I'm just shouting and shouting letting off a steam of anger while Haymitch jeers back at me.

"I knew. Just didn't feel like paying my respects."

"Ugh! Haymitch Abernathy, I hate you!"

"Now, sweetheart-" I glare and he stops. "If glares could kill, I'd be dead. Anyways, you can't hate your mentor. You still have a lot of years to go and when I'm dead, you'll miss me."

"I don't think I'll miss a drunk." I say coldly and Haymitch loses it.

We're in a full blown shouting match at each other. "The only reason I drink is because I see your aunt in everything! I can't stand the memories!" He bellows in my face; spit flying everywhere into the grimy kitchen.

"Well, whoopdedo for you! That's great to know! That's great to know that everything reminds you of her, because everything reminds me of Rue and I'm never going to forget it!" I don't know how we went from Godparents to the arena, but we did.

"Yeah, you never will because the memories never go away! They've stuck with me and they're going to stay with you because you loved someone also! It's not just you!"

Something inside of me breaks and I'm screaming again. I don't even acknowledge what he said because I'm storming out of his house and slamming the door with a satisfying bang. I'm charging through the snow and back to my own house.

Once in my house, I kick off my shoes and stalk up the stairs, ignoring the shouts from my dad. I slam my door and collapse on the bed burying my face in a pillow and screaming. I just scream and scream and scream.  
I ignore my dad when he calls me for dinner. I'm not hungry, I'm too angry at Haymitch for everything. He knew all this time that he was my Godfather or whatever and never told me. Did he expect me to do nothing about it?

It finally strikes me on what he meant. He loved my aunt. This puzzles me, because I know he had a girlfriend when he left. That's what my dad told me. Then I get it. He loved my aunt like a sister. Like I loved Rue.  
The thought that Haymitch could actually love someone shocks me.

I don't know why, but it makes me mad. When my anger has finally subsided a little, I decide to go downstairs and eat something because my stomach is grumbling and tomorrow is going to be Lot of work. My dad is still up. He takes in my wrinkled clothing and matted hair.

"Were you... Shouting at Haymitch?"

"Yup. Is there any food left?"

"Why? And yes. There's some in the fridge. Just heat it up."

"Several reasons. I'll just eat it cold." I sit down by my dad again after piling some chicken and green beans onto my plate.

"I could hear you two screaming."

"Lovely." I say dryly while shoveling cold chicken into my mouth.

"The Hawthorne's could hear you too. Hazelle called and asked why you were screaming."

"Well that's just great. I'm going to bed." I stand quickly and my dad doesn't protest. I throw my dishes in the sink and stalk back up the stairs. I slam my door again and flop back down onto the bed.

I groan into my pillow when the phone rings. "Will everyone just shut up?!" I shout to no one in particular.

I hear my dad coming up the stairs. His voice is muffled through the door. "Yeah she's here." He knocks on my door. "Madge? It's Gale." I groan and slide off of the bed and open the door.

My dad hands me the phone and leaves, closing the door again.

"Hello?" I huff through the phone

."Madge?"

"It's me."

"This thing is weird." I don't respond. "You're in a mood."

I'm about to retort when he speaks again. "What were you and Haymitch shouting about? We could hear it here."

"So I've been told." I say bitterly. "I don't want to talk about it." I say while lying back down.

"You know that you can talk to me about anything though, right?"

"I know. I just don't want to talk about it at the moment." I know I'm sounding mean and cold but I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone. Silence on the line.

"I'm gonna go now. Love you." Even now it gets my heart racing and my stomach doing gymnastics inside me.

"Love you too." silence on the line when I hang up. I throw the phone across the room. It lands in my open closet with a satisfying thud.

* * *

**A/N: BAck! OMG, 100 reviews! I freaking love yall. Anyways, there might be some mistakes becasue i wrote this on my phone. Thoughts? Believeable? what about the whole thing with Haymitch?**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I owe nothing, so far.**

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By the next morning, my mood has not subsided. I'm awoken by three brightly colored peacocks, known as my prep team.

Their multicolored faces are smiling down at me. I see Venia has gotten a new tattoo on her face above her eyes. Flavius has dyed his hair a brighter orange, and Octavia is now a paler green than she wa at the end of the Games last year.

"Surprise! We're here!"

"So I noticed." I groan before rolling out of bed. They all strip me of the clothes from last night and shove me into a bath tub where they begin to wash my hair and do my nails.

They keep babbling about how they can't get seafood from District Four or new clothing from District Eight. It shocks me, because usually, the districts obey the Capitol. I'll talk to Haymitch later… Scratch that, I won't. I don't exactly want to be associated with Haymitch after he lied to me for at least six months. It still bugs me because people shouldn't lie about oh, I don't know, maybe, being someone's Godfather?

I would've loved to have known that a while ago. Anyways, they babble for quite a while before they send Cinna in.

He takes one look at me and chuckles. "Long few weeks?"

"You can't even imagine."

"Oh, I can. Come on, get dressed." He chucks me a bundle of clothes. I go change into a sweater, leggings, a skirt, boots, and another jacket to withstand the cold weather. He then dabs on some makeup onto my face, and just leaves my hair be.

"Practiced at all?"

"Hm?"

"The piano?"

"Shit." I curse under my breath. "Haven't touched it much." I admit to him.

"You're in for some trouble."

"Why?"

"That's not my job to tell you."

I groan and Cinna laughs. "Come on, you. You have to go outside." I groan again and Cinna leaves me outside. I quickly say good-bye to my father and then allow myself to be dragged outside by work crews. I can't see anything besides flurries of snow. They keep pushing me forward until I'm in the smack dab middle of it all and I really can't see anything. I'm turning in circles, probably looking really stupid, when a pair of arms grasps me from behind.

I yelp, but then realize that only Gale would do that to me. If someone else would've, Gale would skin them.

"Hey, beautiful." He whispers in my ear and I crack a smile. He spins me around and starts kissing me and for a moment, I forget that the cameras are here until I see one, trained on us. Gale releases me and takes my hand quickly as they lead us to the train station where the cameras are flashing, and blinding me with the quick bursts of lights. We stand outside of the train for at least three minutes just having our pictures taken when finally, Effie leads us inside.

"Thank God." I say as I strip off the jacket. A red-haired avox takes it from me and then Gale's. He freezes when he sees her. She freezes momentarily before returning to her duties. Gale, however, is frozen, trying to form words. I nudge him with my elbow.

"You okay?"

"I'm… fine." He knows I can see right through that. "It's fine, Madge." He forces a smile. I'm about to tell him that it's not when Haymitch enters the car. I freeze this time and Haymitch chuckles.

"Again, if glares could kill, I'd be dead." He says trying to stop laughing.

"You're an asshole, Abernathy." I hiss out as Gale looks between us in confusion.

He raises his hands in surrender. "Hey, I figured it would distract you."

"Distract me. That's your argument. Really great." I spit out and Haymitch laughs before lumbering off to the bar car.

I feel my hands curl into fists. "I swear, to God, that one day, I'm gonna kill him."

"What happened, Madge?"

"Nothing. Forget it. It's not important."

"Obviously it is, or you wouldn't be this upset by it." He crosses his arms over his chest and stares at me pointedly.

"I'll tell you later." I mutter, defeated. We go to the dining car to find the television on, playing our Games again. I groan before getting a cup of hot chocolate and sitting down while turning the TV off.

"It was bad enough living it; I don't want to see it again." I growl under my breath and Gale sighs.

"I know. I see it every night."

"Me too." He sits down next to me and I lean onto him, resting my head on his shoulder. I breathe in his smell, smoke and apples, even underneath whatever his prep team put on him.

We just sit like that for at least twenty minutes, me occasionally sipping my drink and Gale playing with my hair. I finally muster up enough courage to tell him what's going on with Haymitch.

"Haymitch… he's my… Godfather." I feel him breathe in a sharp breathe before turning to me.

"He's your what?" His eyebrows are furrowed in confusion.

"My reaction too. Apparently, my Godfather. I didn't know until yesterday. That's why I was so mad, because Haymitch knew all of this time and didn't tell me." I squeeze my eyes shut tight, remembering how angry I was last night.

"Why didn't he tell you?" His voice is shaking with anger. I snap my eyes open to find his eyes staring into mine, cold and furious.

"Because he didn't want to make me think he was responsible for me. In a way, he is."

He adjusts his gaze to the TV, staring blankly at it. I shift and rest my head in his lap. His looks down at me momentarily and smiles. It fades quickly as he starts playing with my hair.

I must drift off because next thing I know, Gale is waking me up for dinner.

He takes my hand and leads me groggily to where we're eating.

I rub the sleep out of my eyes and yawn.

"What time is it?"

"Around six." Gale tells me. Jeez, I slept for three hours.

"Where are we?"

"On a train." He laughs and I sigh. "We're on our way to District 11. We'll be there by tomorrow morning." My sleep befuddled brain did not register the enormity of that statement at the moment.

We get to the table and sit down where everyone _but _Haymitch is sitting. I'm okay with that.

I'm actually enjoying dinner until a drunken Haymitch comes in. I put my fork down and put my head in one of my hands. I look anywhere but Haymitch.

"So. You two are going to District 11. Have fun with that." It just hits me now what is so bad about District 11. Rue. Thresh. Their families.

I straighten up and freeze. I then wipe my mouth on my napkin. "I'm done." I throw the napkin on my still full plate and push out of my chair. The squeak it emits makes me cringe but I keep walking. I hear another chair squeak and then a voice.

"Let her go. Give her time."

I leave and just wander the train for an hour, not paying attemtion to anything but the memories floating through my mind. They're all of Rue. Everything that happened in the arena with Rue and even Thresh is floating through my mind, and most of it, isnt pleasent. Having Rue cuddle up next to me under the blanket, the fire, the tracker jackers, us deciding to blow up the food, everything.

Eventually, I come to a room with a piano. I havent touched the piano in weeks, and I'm itching to play. I sit on the bench and run my hands over the deep ebony wood. This one is much different than the one at home. Mine is older, and has a deeper tune to it. This one, well, it's magnifigant.

I'm about to press on one of the keys, when I find that I can't. I can't do fingers hover of the keys, slightely shaking.

Why can't I play?

Why? Why? Why?

I slolwy force my hand to press down on a key and it sounds wrong. Every key I play sounds wrong.

I can't seem to remember any songs that I used to play, I can't remember any of the notes, I can't even remember a simple cord.

"Why aren't you playing?" I whip my head around to find the person I least expected to be there. Haymitch.

I turn away angrily and let my hands hover above the keys again.

"Really. Why aren't you playing?" He moves closer.

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. I've heard you." He stands behind me. He seems sober. That's odd. A hour ago he was drunk.

"No, I can't. I can't do it."

"You better remember how too by the time we're in the Capitol. They want you to play."

"Oh, so another thing you've been hiding from me, huh? What else?" I turn around to stare at him but instead focus on the outside of the window and watch the landscapes zooming by. "I don't want to be lied to, Haymitch."

"I know. It's not my job to tell you, though." He leaves and I sit, puzzled. My mood is slowly dissapearing. Haymitch was just trying to help me by not telling me.

God, I feel stupid. And now, on top of that, i'm going to have to go give a speech to Rue's family, about Rue. Will this nightmare ever end?

A/N: Filler chapter, District 11 next. Thoughts?


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: This is the second time I've written all of this and I'm pissed. **

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The day is hot and muggy. Grey clouds hang low over the ground. Hints of light rain lash on the windows. A few miles away, lightning crackles, lighting up the sky. As we roll into District 11, I try to focus on anything _but _District 11, but I quickly find that impossible. There are guardtowers looming over the fields full of hunched over men and women either plowing or pulling crops. Around the field, there is a single line of chain link fence, at least twenty feet tall, highly electrocuted, with barbed wire poking off of the top of it. Ween the train goes by the fields, the men and women look up and watch us go by. They're all dark-skinned and large, muscular. I can see some of them sigh as we skirt around the fields.

The weight of this day is just hitting me now. Basically, I'm numb. I don't want to face her parents, when I was supposed to die. I don't want to thank them for their sacrifice because we all know that it was an accident that she was skewered by the bird and not me. I can't even bring myself to say her name, that's how much it's affected me. I know that I knew her for maybe three weeks, but I knew her at some point. I don't know how I'll manage today.

Cinna said that he wanted me to look as much as myself today, and not one of them. One of who, I'm not sure. I could care less what I looked like today of all days. He throws me a light green dress with white flats. Leaves my hair down. Puts a headband in it. Dabs a little makeup on.

"Try to smile." He tells me while finishing adjusting my dress.

I weakly lift up the corners of my mouth but quickly lose my resolve.

"I can't, Cinna."

"Yes, you can."

I shake my head as Effie bursts into the room and drags me by my wrist to the front of the train, gushing about how beautiful I look and how much fun the tour will be.

Once at the front of the train, she shoves me in between Gale and Haymitch, who seems to be quite uncomfortable as he's been put into a bow tie. I don;'t protest and that's when Gale knows something's wrong. As of last night, I would've protested being by Haymitch. He grasps my hand and squezes lightly. I dont respond.

"Look, sweetheart, I know you don't want to be here, but you can't leave." Haymitch says gruffly as he pulls on his collar. I know what he means. I can't slip into my own depressed world, not now. Not on the Tour. I might never come back out.

They wouldn't cancel the Tour, probably just make it complete misery for me and Gale. They'd force me out.

"I know," I begin shakily, "I won't." The words 'right now' hang in the air uncomfortably. Haymitch accepts that as a suitable answers and goes back to tugging on his collar. Gale squeezes my hand again and this time I squeeze lightly back. He then wraps me into him and I cave once I'm in his grasp. I rest my head on his shoulder as he wraps his arms around me.

"You two are adorable." Portia says, trying to hide her smile.

"So adoroable I think I'm going to puke." Haymitch says while miminking puking sounds.

"Shut up, Haymitch, you are such a child, I think it's cute." Effie says while shooting Haymitch a glare. They begin to argue slightely and Gale and I are still just standing there locked in each other's embraces. It takes me a minute to realize that I'm smiling into Gale's shoulder. The last time Effie and Haymitch fought was before the Games nearly six months ago. Was it really that long ago? It feels like days since I was reaped.

The train pulls to a stop with a slight lurch and that's when Effie freaks and breaks our embrace. Gale keeps me clsoe to him and doesn't let go of my hand though.

Once the train doors open, we're put outside to be veiwed by a few cameras and more surprisingly, guns. The peacekeepers lead us to a military like truck and shove us inside. Gale, obviously, does not like that guns are being pointed at us, as he pulls me, if even possible, closer to him. I'm practically on his lap.

By the time we get to wherever we're going, I'm dying to get soem fresh air. But, I do not get that, as we're shoved inside of the building.

Effie scoffs. "Really, you'd think we were all criminals." Not you, I think to myself. You didn't outsmart the Capitol. We did. We're the criminals.

Once we're in the room where we will wait until we go on stage, i collapse into one of the chairs provided and put my head in my hands. My breathing has become shaky and weak.

I can't do this. I legitamentally can't. It's not that I don't want to, I can't. I can't face her parents when I was supposed to die. I can't even begin to tell them how much remorse I feel for her dying instead of me. I can't... I just... No. I can't.

Gale crouches down in front of me and places his hand on my knee. I lift my eyes to his. The pools of gray and hints of brown look at me, curious and worried.

"Are you okay?"

I shake my head. "I can't. I can't face her family when I was supposed to die, I can't-" Gale shuts me up the only way he knows presses his lips to mine quickly and then pulls away and cups my cheek.

"Madge, you have to do this. I know you don't want to, but you have too. If I had died, would you give me a speech?" He asks, curious.

I shake my head. "I wouldn't be able too. I would be gone from the world, maybe even killed myself." I'm on the verge of it everyday now. I don't tell him that.

"I wouldn't be able too, either." He confesses quietly. I throw my arms around his neck and he pulls me close to him and I breath in the familiar scent.

"Don't cry. Not now. Don't cry, Madge. Please. I hate seeing you cry." He murmurs into my hair.

"I won't. I won't." I repeat and someone tells us that its time to go on stage and I feel terribly frightened. Not of stagefright, but of the reactions of the District.

Pretty soon, we're outside, on the stage, standing in front of the entire District 11, and I'm on the verge of a full-blown panic attack. The Mayor reads a speech in our honor but I tune it out. I then focus on Thresh's family, as that is much less painful. There are only two people there. One, a muscular tall girl who I can only assume is Thresh's sister. She gives me a curt nod and I try to tell her without talking that I'm sorry. She gets it and gives me a slight smile, or I think it was a smile. Then, there's a hunched over grandmother who is whithered and needs a cane to walk. She doesn't make eye contact with anyone on the stage.

I slowly direct my attention to Rue's family and my heart shatters. There's five children standing, all looking terrible. The two girls stand with their arms around each other, tears pouring down their faces. The boys are looking at the ground, beyond tears. The youngest of the five has buried their face into their mother's skirt and I brace myself for Rue's parents. Both look grief striken and tired. Their dark skin is pale, and their eyes faded. They all look so much like Rue it's hard for me. I look down and swallow my tears as the Mayor directs everyone's attention to us.

Gale finishes his speech without me even paying attention, and then it's my turn, and oh, God, this is hard.

"I had maybe only spoken to Thresh once or twice before hand but I knew that he was kind. He had that sense that he was kind." I turn to Rue's family and take a breath. "As for Rue, she was like a little sister to me. She was kind, funny, entergetic, and just a good person over all. Even though I didn't see her grow up or learn, I felt like I knew her as well as I could while with her. She had a good heart, and I will forever be grateful that I knew her. Thank you for your children." I finish and I find that I literally cannot speak.

Gale speaks up and finishes what I was trying to say. "We know that nothing can replace your loses, but hopefully we can help. We offer up a portion of our winnings for the families of Rue and Thresh." Is it even legal, I don't know? What happens next, happens so quickly, I cannot even process it. A man does Rue's mockingjay signal. Then, everyone in the crowd does the symbol of District 12. Then, a peacekeeper is forcing the man onto his knees. And putting a bullet through his head.

Gale shoves me behind him instanetly as the peacekeepers shove us, none too lightely, inside where Effie, Haymitch, Cinna, and Portia, look highely confused.

"What happened? The feed cut after Madge finished and then we thought we heard gunshots." Haymitch catches my eye and I tell him what I can. Yes, there were gunshots. Someone is dead. Two more shots. Now three people. All because of us.

"A truck backfired." Gale says evenly, lyng through his teeth. Effie looks relieved. POrtia and Cinna look like they don't believe us.

Haymitch grabs my wrist and grabs Gale's and whisks us away from the group and pulls up several dusty flights of stairs. FInally, we reach a room. Haymitch puts us inside and I immeidately sit on one of the chairs, breathing shakily. I'm absolutely freezing right now, though I don't know why.

"Just tell her." Gale says and I look up to find Haymitch pacing in front of us, with Gale looking out of the cracked window.

Haymitch takes a breath before sitting in the chair across from me. "Since about the 60th Hunger Games, people have been plotting a rebellion. People in Districts 3, 4, 8, 11, 12 have been. Today was set up. People are rebelling right now down there. The day you two were pronounced Victors, with the whole berry stunt, there was a small rebellion in District 12. About four people died. We're been planning this. After the Quell goes down, we're going to break the people in it out and take them somewhere safe. We don't know what the theme is this year, but we have an inside guy who is trying to figure it out. It's the Gamemaker this year, plutarch Heavensbee. He's been undercover for years. You two will go as mentors this year, unless something drastic happens or you're forced to stay home." HE pauses and I blurt out my questions.

"What do you mean by 'drastic? What if the Quell is hard? What about the tributes this year? And did he know about this?" I say, gesturing to Gale.

"First, like if one of you died."

"Thanks, I feel comforted Haymitch." He cuts me off and continues.

"We don;t know how the Quell will go, but prepare for the worst. We're hoping the tributes will be strong, but we don't know. And yes, Gale knew about this."

I turn to Gale and cross my arms. He turns and begins. "Look, Madge, at the Games, the day that the Careers tried to recruit you, I went to Haymitch to learn how to protect you. I didn't want to see you die, see you get hurt, hell, I didn't even want to see you in the sky some night. SO he told me what to do while in the arena."

And with that, I'm shocked. "So... Everything wasn't real." I feel my heart shatter in my chest as it drops to the ground. "So everything that happened, happened to get us out of the arena." I state and Haymitch stands.

"Well, I think I should be leaving right about now." He says before charging down the stairs leaving Gale and I alone.

Before he can even speak, I've exploded at him. "You used me. You used me! You asshole! Did you ever think to wonder what I felt like? No, because you couldn't care about anyone but yourself, much less the Mayor's daughter. I trusted you, Gale. I trusted you! I thought you actually cared about me! And the worst part about it, is that I believed you." I turn to look out the window as angry tears prick my eyes. "I believed every _freaking_ thing that meant shit to you. I'm just another girl that means nothing to you." I whip my head around to face him, but find he's already in front of me. "I can't believe you would be so cold, mean, and-"

He reaches down and cups my face as he presses him lips to mine quickly and doesn't let go. I struggle at first so I can continue my yelling, but eventually give up, as he's not letting go anytime soon. The kiss is soft and gentle. I don't know what to think until Gale breaks away and stares at me.

"Madge Eryn Undersee, you listen to me, and you listen good. Everything that happened between us in the arena was real. You mean more than the world to me, Madge. I cannot even explain how much I love you. I love you more than life itself. I love the way you act with Posy, I love how you get embarrased at the littlist things, I love how you play with your hair when you're nervous, Madge, I love you. I do, I really do."

I believe him. That means... "I said all of that horrible stuff to you..." I begin but Gale speaks.

"It's fine, Madge. You didn't know what we meant. I wouldv'e probably done the same thing."

"I'm sorry though!" I protest and he smiles.

"Madge, I just proclaimed my love to you and you're sorry?"

"I'm sorry I said all of that." I whimper; I really do feel bad.

"It's okay, Madge, please. It's fine." He scoops me up into his arms and holds me for a minute.

When he lets go, his eyes are glistening. He has an idea. "Race you down stairs, onetwothree go!" He races out of the room laughing while I stand there like an idiot.

"Cheater!" I call down the stairs and hear him laugh. I start quickly hopping down the steps after him and I think I might get lost a couple times becasue I run into dead ends, and a few mousetraps, and a ton of cobwebs. It's funny that when you run into a spiderweb you 'learn' karate. Ehh. Oh well.

* * *

Cinna makes me change into a light pink floorlenght dress that is quite uncomfortable at points and even though I complain, he says I have to stay in the dress. It really bugs me how people are choosing what I wear for me. I mean, doesn't life as a Victor _ever _go back to being somewhat normal?

We plow through the night, dancing, and kissing, and dancing some more and then eating, finally. I find that I'm not very hungry and it bothers Gale greatly.

"Come on, Madge! Eat!" He tries to coax some bread into me.

"I'm not hungry, Gale. I'm just not." But I am freezing. I've been shivering all night.

"Please, Madge?" He looks at me with pleading eyes and I cave, nibbling on a piece of bread.

"Happy?"

"Not exactly."

I groan as he wraps his arm around me waist and kisses my temple.

I don't know why it bothers him, I'm just not hungry.

* * *

Later that night, it take me about thirty seconds to realize that I'm not going to be able to fall asleep. I'm absolutely freezing. My teeth are chattering and I'm shivering uncontrollably.

I wrap a heavy blanket around myself and exit my room, and walk to the sitting room and sit on the couch. I bring my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them, still shivering.

Why am I so cold? I know that I'm sad, but why? Maybe it's because of what happened today. Rue's family could be dead all because we offered part of our winnings. It could be our fault that they're dead. That man in the overalls is surely dead, a bullet went through his dead. I need to talk to Gale. He's the only one who can understand right now.

I pad down the train to where I remember Gale's room was and knock on the door with shaking hands. Only a second later, Gale opens the door with wild eyes and I find he's shaking too.

"D-did I wake you up?" I ask quietly, my voice shaking.

He shakes his head quickly and looks me over. "You okay?" I ask, cupping his cheek.

"Nightmare. You... You..." He embraces me quickly and warmth floods through my shivering form. "You were dead... They... They took you." He whimpers and I realize that this is the first time that I've ever seen Gale so scared and vulnerable. Not even in the arena was he like this.

"Shh..." I whisper in his ear, "I'm right here, Gale. I'm not going anywhere. They aren't going to take me." He nods before scooping me up and carrying me into his room.

"Stay with me tonight. Please." He begs with pleading eyes. It's not like I have much choice, as I'm already here, but I'll stay. I need him too.

He sets me on the bed and I pull the covers up to my chin, still shivering. Gale climbs in next to me, still shaking out of fear and pulls me into his grasp, my back resting on his chest and our ankles twisted together.

"You're freezing, Madge. Are _you _okay?" He asks, resting his chin on my shoulder.

I shrug. "I'm," A thousand words rush through my head. Tired, sad, upset, depressed are just a few of them. "Sad." I settle on.

"Why?"

"Everything makes me sad. Seeing Rue's family made it worse. What if it was one of them, who was shot? Gale, what if it-"

"Not now. Please. We'll talk to Haymitch tomorrow. Please." He lifts his chin off my shoulder and turns me around to face him. I rest my head in the crook of his neck as he wraps his arms around me. Instant warmth. I sigh and close my eyes, trying to sleep.

I realize that a victor's life never goes back to who you were before. You're scarred with whatever happened in the arena and Captiol controls your every move, and you can't do anything about it. You never really leave the Games. After you win, you become an even bigger piece in their Games and you can never escape, until you die, that is.

It kinda makes me want to die, but then I think that I wouldn't have anywhere to go once I get wherever you go after you die, because everything I need is in District 12 and right next to me.

* * *

_A/N: Rest of the Victory Tour will be next. I really don't like this chapter, like I might hate it, but it never came out right. Merp. Don't hate on it if you do, the next chapters will be better!_


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: Still don't own these characters. Sigh.**

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I wake up curled in a ball with my head rested on Gale's chest. I twist my neck around slowly so I can face him. He's already awake. I vagley wonder how long he's been watching me.

"Hey." He whispers, smiling softly.

"Hi." I respond as he plays with my hair. To fight the blush I feel rising into my cheeks, I speak again. "Where are we?"

"Either close to District 10, or there. It feels like we're moving, so we must not be there." Well, this should be plenty easier than District 12, as I didn't know any of them. There was that poor boy with the crippled foot. I don't remember much about him.

"Good. I don't want to see another district."

"We have to, Madge. It's protocol."

A thought comes to mind. "Gale, what are we going to do about the Capitol?"

I feel him stiffen momentarily before answering in a quiet voice. "Whatever we can do about it." I have no clue what he means by it, but I don't press the subject. I know how he feels about the Capitol and their oppresive rule over us all.

We lay in bed making small-talk for a little until we hear Effie schreeching from outside the door.

"Gale, where's Madge?! We can't find her and-" Gale cuts her off.

"She's in here, Effie." Effie goes silent for a minute, like she's deciding whether or not to come in, but does come in eventually.

The sight of the two of us curled up together makes her smile. "It's time for breakfast, you two." Effie leaves and we hear her heels echoing down the train.

"She isn't as annoying now as she was before the Games." Gale says under his breath as we climb out of the bed and walk down the train with our hadns linked loosely together. Once in the dining car, I see Haymitch already sitting down, pretty drunk already. He smirks at the two of us together and I stick my tounge out at him. I can tell he knows that we were together last night.

"So, sweetheart, are you going to have another breakdown again?" He slurs out and I roll my eyes while delibertly ignoring his question.

"Are you going to drink yourself sick?"

"Yes." He says defiantly, while chugging a bottle. I wrinkle my nose in disgust at him. "And you," he says, pointing a finger at Gale, "when are you-"

"Haymitch, shut the hell up." Gale says quickly and Haymitch chuckles.

"You're going into this blind, boy. You don't know how it will go or what she-" He's cut off again when Gale gives him one of his death glares while I look between them, utterly confused.

"Who? What?" I voice out and Haymitch laughs coldly before Gale can say anything.

"You mean he didn't tell you about it?"

"That's it." Gale growls before promptly standing out of his chair and walking around the table before grabbing Haymitch by arm, and dragging him out of the car.

I raise an eyebrow at Cinna and he shrugs. Same with Portia. Effie, on the otherhand, babbles on and on about the new styles in the Capitol or such.

Haymitch and Gale do not make a reapperance that morning.

* * *

For the next few days, the routine is the same. Wake up, get ready, speech, dinner, dancing, sleep, repeat.

It's not until we get to District 8 that I notice the growing unrest in the Districts. District 8 looks murderous, District 4 looks subdued, but enraged. District 3 seems completly angered. District 2, looks ready to kill us and Gale looks down most of that District. He killed both Cato and Clove and their families look furious. There's a young girl on Cato's side. She's looking at us with the same bloodthrist Cato did and I know that if she ever goes into the Games, she'll be targeting District 12.

District 1 throws rocks at us. Luckily, we're on a high balcony and they don't reach us. During our Capitol authorized speechs, I glance at the families. There's an older boy on Glimmer's side and he's sort of creeping me out. On Marvel's side, I see twin brothers, ready to kill me.

When a rock lands in front of me, we take that as our cue to leave.

Gale spins me around quickly and leads me off of the balcony.

"That was too close." He says and I nod.

* * *

That night, at the banquet, Gale and I are moping around, completely miserable, while trying to make it look like we're having fun, when a man asks to dance with me. I glance sideways at Gale who has his jaw locked but nods anyways. As the man leads me out to the dance floor, I twist my head around to find Gale dancing with a women, but his eyes arent leaving me.

Once on the dance floor, I get a look at the man and we dance. Normal brown eyes, blonde hair, but there's something about him that isn't right. I can't tell what it is though. As the song progresses through, the man's hold on me becomes tighter and tighter and I notice that we're drifting further and further away from the dance floor and closer and closer to... Somewhere else, I'm not sure.

When the song ends, I try to thank him and leave, but he, on the other hand, has other ideas.

"Please let me go. I really should be going now. I-"

"NO. You're staying with me." He pulls me closer to him and I struggle to get away.

"Let me go." I hiss at him through clenched teeth. I hope he can't sense the fear that is surging through me right now. "Let me go."

"No. You're mine and I can do whatever I want to you." I realize the meaning behind this. My eyes go wide as he smiles evily. President Snow has sold me to this man.

"Let go of me." I whimper and the man laughs coldy. I'm still struggling when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"She said to let her go. So, let her go." I recognize Haymitch's voice.

"Make me." The man says, still holding onto me.

"Oh, I will. There is a side of me that only 23 other people have seen, and coincidentally, those people are all dead." I can hear the ice and coldness in Haymitch's voice and apparently, the man can too because he lets go of me and glares at us before disappearing into the shadows.

I feel myself let out a shaky breath before turning to Haymitch.

"Did he do anything?" I shake my head, but that does not satisfy Haymitch. "Say something."

"N-no." I whisper shakily before Haymitch grimaces.

"Good. Come on, he's going crazy with worry." Haymitch places his hands on my shoulders and steers me through the crowds, going somewhere. He leads me over to a table where Cinna and Portia are situated. Cinna is by my side first.

"He went to find her."

"Bad. Bad idea." Haymitch says quickly and then sets off to find Gale.

"Sit down, Madge." Portia tells me gently. I collapse into a chair on put my head in my hands and take deep shaky breaths. Cinna and Portia sit by my side like hawks and whenever someone asks me to dance, they say I'm tired and don't feel well. Which is actually true, I feel like I'm going to vomit.

Within the next 30 seconds, several things happen at once. For one, Gale comes back and immediately knows something's wrong. Two, I'm burying my face into his chest and letting the tears finally fall, and three, Haymitch is saying something about tomorrow when we're in the Capitol.

"Madge, what happened?" Gale asks while tipping my chin up so I have to face him. I shake my head and bury my face back into his chest.

"Not here, Hawthorne." I hear Haymitch tell him and for the rest of the night, Gale doesn't let me out of his sight, and I make sure _not _to leave his sight. Once, we're back on the train, everyone treats me like a small child, and help me do everything.

Gale goes to talk to Haymitch about something and I collapse onto the bed Gale and I have been sharing for the past few days and burrow under the covers and release silent tears. I don't speak, I don't cry out, I just lay there until I hear Gale come in and even then I don't move.

Once he climbs into the bed and turns me to face him, I try to just curl up into a ball and avoid all questions, but Gale has other ideas.

"Madge, what happened? I need to know." He says flatly, and I get the idea he already knows but just wants to hear me talk.

I shake my head over and over again until he makes me focus on him, and I cave. "He said that I was his and he could do whatever he wanted to me." I find that I'm whsipering and just want to die as Gale kisses my forehead and the tears start to fall out of my eyes.

"Madge. Don't cry, please. He had no right to say that. You are not his. You are mine. You're my Madge."

"P-president Snow is still-"

"I know, Madge, I know. That's all going to end tomorrow, I swear." He says while wiping the salty tears from my chapped cheeks.

"H-h-how do you know?" I stammer out and Gale looks slightely conflicted as he struggles to find the words.

"Trust me. It's going to be over soon."

"I want to go home." I mutter as Gale wraps his arms around me and I sniffle into his shoulder.

"We will, Madge. We're going home soon." He says and I begin to calm down as he rubs my back and I'm lulled into a restless sleep, with me waking up in a cold sweat every hour or so. That man keeps haunting my nightmares.

* * *

Effie lets Gale and I sleep until noon before she tells us to move because apparently, according to Effie, all we've been doing is eating or sleeping. That's all we have energy for.

So, we get up, eat breakfast, and then plop onto the couch. Effie scoffs at us. "Do something!"

"We are doing something. We're sitting." I tell her and she scoffs again while crossing her arms and stares. Eventually she leaves us alone.

"Finally." I hear Gale murmur under his breath, and I laugh. "What?"

"Nothing, it's just.. Nothing." I'm still a little shaken up from the night before. Gale senses this, and snakes his arms arouns my waist.

"It'll be fine, Madge. I swear." He says before kissing my temple and I rest my head on his shoulder. For once, I feel maybe sorta kinda at peace.

* * *

_Okay, so sorta filler chapter. Next chapter is the Capitol and... It will hopefully be good. In this chapter, it shows that President Snow was still trying to sell Madge, despite Gale being there. Asshole... Anyways, thanks for all the support you lovely readers give me, it encourages us to write more! SO... review!_

_So from now on, I will only be updating on Saturdays or Sundays because school is starting up soon and it's going to be crazy, so yeah. Unless I get time to write during the week, expect Saturday updates._

_Rant: And to that one lovely person who decided to PM about this story (you know who you are) and how much you hate it, and how Madge isn't what you think Madge would be like... Screw you. This is how I imagined Madge, and how she would act after surviving the Hunger Games so if you don't like it, then don't read it. Simple as that. Rant over._

_Sorry to those who like this story and had to read it. _


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I saw the news about Catching Fire today. They're about to start filming. I think I might've cried. Still forever upset that Madge wasn't in the Hunger Games. Wonder how they'll do the whipping in Catching Fire then...**

* * *

By the time we get to the Capitol, I'm ready to go home. It's absolutely _sick_ how they cheer at us for killing other innocent children. It's sick how they love to watch the Games. It's sick how they don't care how much grief is put into the districts by the Games.

"This is sick..." I mutter under my breath as we're waiting in the sitting room. You can hear the cheering of the crowds now/

"You shouldn't talk like that." Gale mumbles in my ear and I sigh.

"But it is..."

"Madge, please stop." He pleads and I do. He's been fidgeting for the past forty-five and is very antsy. He can't seem to keep himself still. He's alternated from pacing the sitting room and sitting next to me over and over again. I don't know what's wrong with him.

"Gale, will you just calm down?" I say to the now pacing Gale. He grumbles something under his breath that I don't catch. "What was that?"

"I'm nervous." He growls and I hold my hands up in defense.

"Why're you nervous? You're fine in front of an audience. I'm the one that freezes up." He doesn't respond just keeps pacing. "Okay, at this rate, you're going to wear a hole in the floor from your shoes."

He doesn't acknowledge that I said anything and keeps pacing, running his hands through his already messy hair. Okay, now he's making me nervous. Because he's nervous, I'm becoming nervous.

* * *

Haymitch has also been acting odd. He's muttering under his breath a lot and smirking at Gale every time he sees him. It's been like this since District 11. Now, though, he seems to be watching me very carefully. I don't know why. It might've been from the incident in District 1. I shudder every time I think about that man, and how he had no right to touch me. I feel... Violated. That's the word. Violated. If Haymitch hadn't been there, I would've been stuck with that horrible man.

There's a word for what would've happened to me. We don't use the word in spelling bees, or in anything. We don't speak the word, but we all know what it is. We don't use the word, unless we have too. I would've been raped. There. I said it. And now I want to cry.

To think that Haymitch was my savior from that... That... Man, makes me appreciate him a lot more than I did before. Then, I realize, that even if Haymitch is drunk, or unable to walk on his own two feet, he's still our mentor. No matter how long we've been out of the Games, or how many tributes we mentor, or how many we bring home, he will be our mentor.

It makes me appreciate him more. Wow. I've changed more than I thought in the past few months. If I appreciate Haymitch, then I must be going crazy.

I shake the thought out of my head. I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy. I'm normal me. Or as normal as a Victor can get, at least.

We're then dragged into the Capitol, much to our displeasure, where we will be prepared for our big interview with Ceaser. The entire time that we're going to the place where we're going to get ready, Gale doesn't let go of my hand and keeps me close to him. I'm guessing he wants to avoid a situation like yesterday night.

Anyways, once we're in the Capitol, my prep team makes busy work by curling my hair into soft ringlets that tumble down my shoulders. Outlining my eyes with light eyeliner and stuff like that. Brush a light pink onto my lips. They're gushing over how beautiful I look and how much fun these weeks have been.

It's been utter misery to me.

I don't tell them that part.

They finally leave, and Cinna comes in, holding what I assume is my dress.

"Please tell me I won't be on fire. I'm tired of fire, Cinna." I joke and he smirks.

"Ha ha, very funny. You're the girl on fire, there's gonna be more fire. But not right now, at least." I cross my arms has he slips the dress onto me. When I look in the mirror, I actually feel beautiful.

"You look beautiful, Madge." Cinna says while pushing a strand of my hair out of my face. I examine myself in the mirror. The white dress is strapless, and thankfully, doesn't show much. It's slightly tight until below my breasts and then fans out, but not to much. I'm in white heels.

"Thanks, Cinna."

He leads me down to where we will wait to go on stage. We're the last ones to show up. Gale turns to me and his eyes light up. I feel heat flare across my cheeks as he crosses to me in two strides and spins me around.

"You look beautiful." He murmurs and more heat rises. Haymitch smirks and I stick my tongue out at him. We move to stand in front of the doors that we will go out of and Gale's fiddling with his hands again.

What on earth is wrong with him today?

Haymitch goes to say something to Gale and I'm tactful enough to pretend that I'm not listening and instead let Effie gush about everything.

Anyways, we're put out into the spotlight, and Gale wraps his arm around my waist while the other swings by his side. I notice the hand on my waist is slightly shaking.

Ceaser has us answer questions for a little and we make it seem like we're happy to be here and how glad we are to have each other (well, that one isn't a lie.). He then pauses a moment before mentioning something I completely forgot until this exact moment in time. The wedding.

The crowd goes silent immediately as Gale stands up and leads me to the middle of the stage, in front of everyone. I'm at loss to what is going on until Gale turns to me and his eyes are filled with happiness and serenity, something called _love_. His ears are slightly tinted pink and I'm still confused as to what he's doing, and why, most importantly.

Then, all of the sudden, I get it. Oh, God. I know what he's doing. Even though I know what he's doing, I still have to act shocked, even if I'm completely caught off guard.

I see Gale take a deep breath before dropping to one knee and taking my hand.

"Madge Undersee,"

"Oh my God." I bring my other hand up to my mouth as my eyes widen and mouth drops.

"When I first met you, I knew I was a goner. I love you. Madge, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You're the only one that I want to be with. Will you marry me?" I see it in his eyes that he means every freaking word he's saying. And with that, I feel tears spring to my eyes, but don't let them fall. He pushes the ring onto my finger and I don't even acknowledge that it's there. I'll examine it later.

Even if this isn't what we wanted, or how we wanted, he means every word. Everyword that he's said to me, or every word he just said to me, he means it.

I'm a little to shocked at this realization to do anything but nod before dropping to my knees and pressing my lips to his quickly. I instil so much passion into the kiss that Gale stands up and wraps his arms around me, tangling one hand in my hair before breaking the kiss and resting his forehead on mine.

"I love you." He whispers, for me and only me.

"I love you too." I whisper back before giggling at my own giddyness.

"I meant every word."

"I know." I smile and he smiles too. I act like a school girl for a little and shove the ring out so everyone can see, but I'm literally dying inside. I just want to get inside and talk to Gale about this whole thing. Luckily, quickly after, we're put inside and Gale doesn't let me leave his sight, until we have to change for the stupid banquet.

* * *

The minute we enter the dining hall in President Snow's mansion, yes, we're in here, much to my displeasure, my jaw drops and I clutch Gale's arm.

"Oh my God. This could keep the entire district going for a month." He chuckles as if I'm joking and then looks out at the room. His jaw drops. The room is filled with every type of food known to humanity, plus more. There are soups, salads, chicken, steak, everything.

"Wow. For two months, actually." He smirks in my direction and I roll my eyes and he swats me playfully.

"Oh, shut up." I groan in fake annoyance and he laces his fingers through mine and tugs me along to a table with some food. I want to try as much as I can, but I nearly cave at a scrumptious chicken. And then again at a soup. And then yet _again _at a wonderful broth.

Pretty soon, I'm stuffed. People I don't know, nor will I remember them keep coming up to me and congratulating me on my engagement, keep congratualting me on my performance in the Games and forcing me to relive it, over and over again as they talk about their favorite moments and such.

By about the one hour mark, everyone has blended together, and I find Haymitch sitting with Cinna and Portia, drunk beyond belief.

"Wow." I mutter under my breath and Cinna snorts into his wine. I haven't touched the drinks yet, instead just asking for water. I'm not one to drink.

The time comes when I'm reguired to play the piano. I don't know if I can. I can't even bring myself to walk out to the pristene piano waiting. Haymitch has to give me a slight push so I begin walking. I'm shaking, I'm so nervous. I've never really played for people before, and when I have too, I seem to have forgotten how to. I sit on the ebony piano bench and rest my trembling hands on the white and black keys that seem to have blended together. I'm panicking.

I lift my eyes from the keys to only have them lock on Gale's, who looks completely concerned that I can't play. I see him mimicking breathing and I find I've been holding my breath so I let out a breath quickly before turning back to the keys and, I press a key.

It doesn't sound wrong. it sounds... Right. The notes flow out of me. At first, it starts quiet and high pitched, then grows louder and louder, occasioanlly dipping back down to the lower keys. The twinkles of the higher notes echo through the now silent room and I realize where the song came from. It's my life. From my birth to now, I hear my life. The time when it gets lower and higher alternately is during the arena because there were bad times and good times. After, it's high and twinkling and ends on a D chord. The chord echos through the room before the applause erupts from all around me. I let out another breath and feel my face burning. Quickly, I stand and curtsy befoer hurrying out of the area where people are waiting to tell me how good it was.

I made it up on the spot, really, it couldn't have been that good.

A song begins, and I find Gale wrapping his arms around my waist from behind.

"Dance with me?" Gale murmurs in my ear and I nod before he takes my hand and leads me out to the dance floor. He places his hands firmly on my hips and I snake mine around his neck. I rest my head on his shoulder. We're quiet for a moment.

"That was amazing, Madge. It was beautiful." He tells me and I laugh.

"Thanks, I made it up on the spot." We're quiet for another moment.

"Your dad's going to kill me." Gale says, but he's laughing.

"Nah. I won't let him. I wonder what they think. Our families, I mean."

Gale snorts. "Well, I can tell you my mother is probably appalled, we're so young. Vick probably doesn't know what to think. Posy will be completely in bliss; she adores you."

"And Rory?"

"He's _never _going to let us live this down." He says and a laugh bubbles out of me. I feel like I'm floating right now. Never in a million years had someone told me I would be in love with Gale Hawthorne would I believe them. I knew I had always liked him, but I figured he would never notice me. I just feel so safe in Gale's arms, that no one can hurt me. I feel stronger, and not as weak. The bubble in my chest is growing and growing every day because I'm completely happy. It takes me forever to fall asleep because reality is better than dreams, besides the looming threat of the Games, but that's not important right now.

"Madge?"

"Yeah?" I murmur to him.

"At the Replay," I stiffen immediately, "after I got you out of the lake, you looked different. And you said that you felt different. What did you mean?"

I feel a blush creeping up my neck and into my cheeks. "If you don't want to tell me, it's fine. I was just wondering, it's been bugging me for a while."

"No, it's fine." I begin slowly. I'm delaying the moment when I tell him. "Well.. I-that was when I realized I loved you."

"Right then?" He says, skirting his lips on mine. I can practically taste his presence on my lips. He pulls away, smirking.

"Tease." I mutter and he laughs.

"I had loved you for a while before then, actually." He blurts and I look into his eyes, the eyes that can't decide whether or not they want to be brown or silver.

"When?" I ask, quickly.

He has an inner fight inside himself as if he's deciding whether to tell me ot not, but he does. "When Clove was attacking you and I found you two, her cutting your arm off, something snapped inside and all I could see was red. I couldn't bear to see you in pain, whether it was from her, or from anyone. I just knew. I knew that I loved you. Even if I might've not have shown it in the arena, I do love you."

That's really, really sweet. "No one has cared for me like you before." He rests his forehead on mine. My heart is going crazy and is skipping beats and is doing flip flops and I'm a bright red.

"And no one can love you as much as I do." I smile softly before he presses his lips to mine quickly. I can sense that the song is nearing it's end when Gale tenses. "Don't turn around, Madge. Don't." He frantically says when I try to turn my head around.

I smell him before I see him. The smell of blood and roses makes me want to vomit all over again. He taps me on the shoulder and I spin around, and Gale doesn't let go of my waist.

"Ah! Hello to the newest couple of Panem!" He says gleefully, as if he actaully cares about us. I force a smile as Gale does the same. President Snow's lips are stretched out and bright red, like blood. Just looking at him makes me want to run behind Gale and let him protect me. "Would you mind if I stole her for a dance, Gale?" His eyes twinkle, but in a horrible way, as if he knows something we don't.

Gale looks like he would very much mind, but passes me over to President Snow without comment. I know he's fuming inside.

President Snow takes one of my hands in his and places his other on my hip, and it brings goosebumps, but not in a good way. It's the kind of way that will frighten you. I don't want him touching me. I would rather have a maggot touching me than him, and even then I'm going pretty low.

"So, Miss Undersee, or should I say soon-to-be Mrs. Hawthorne, I must congratulate you!" He says cheerfully.

"Thank you, but I'm sure it will be a long engagement. With all due respect, sir, I am only sixteen." I quietly say. There's fury in my voice, but I doubt he can sense it.

"Well, I wouldn't doubt your love for each other." He says it in a way that I'm guessing he doubts it. "How will your father take this?"

I shrug and he chuckles coldly. "Yes, that should be interesting. Speaking of your father, how is he doing, with the death of your mother and all?" I freeze up momentarily and fight the onslaught of memories that attack my brain.

"He's.. He's okay." I settle on and he smiles, his lips stretching out again.

"Yes, yes I'm sure he was upset. How did she die, again?"

"I don't know." I choke out, my teeth gritted.

"Shame. She looked just like you, you know." He mutters, giving the impression that he didn't give a _shit_ about her. "So! Are you preparing to mentor this year?" He changes the subject quickly. I'm caught off guard.

"Oh, um, yes. We're doing all we can to prepare and hopefully bring some tributes home." I quickly spout out and he grimaces.

"I'm sure your triutes will be quite a... Surprise this year. Speaking of _surprises_," He begins and the way he says surprise, makes me shudder inwardly, "Are you going to be surprising us anytime soon?"

"What do you mean?" Though I get exactly what he's saying.

"Are you going to surprise us with a baby Hawthrone anytime soon?" I'll go ahead and say it. I'm shocked. I'm sixteen for God's sake!

"When-" I can't get the words right, "What do-" I can't get it out, "I don't think so." I finally manage and he snickers.

"Well, I would expect one, by the end of this year. And remember, Miss Undersee, I'm always watching." He leaves as quickly as he came. I stand there like a fool for at least 30 seconds before I realize what he's saying. He expects me to be pregnant by the end of this year.

Great.

* * *

I make my way back to where everyone is sitting slowly, while trying to process the information. When I do make it back, I plop into a chair irritably.

"What did he want?" Gale asks while taking my hand. I tug it out of his reach.

"Well, for one, he was congratualting me, then saying how sorry he was for my mom's death, then telling me how much a surprise the tributes will be this year, and oh, I almost forgot, he expects me to be pregenant by the end of this year." Haymitch spews out some liquor and sits up, instantely sober.

"He _what_? He yells and I cringe.

"You heard me." I sink in my seat and bury my face in Gale's chest.

"We have time Madge." He murmurs and I shrug.

"Not much." My voice is muffled as he throws an arm around me. "Less than a year, basically."

Haymitch tries to get more out of me for the rest of the night, but I don't even try to. I'm too replused.

* * *

Around two in the morning, we can finally leave. Thank God, or I was going to go insane.

First thing I do is shower and scrub my skin raw. I know that I'm clean, but I don't feel clean. I feel dirty. I can't get the feel of President Snow's hands off of me and I'm disgusted. When I finally step out, my skin is bright pink and tingling. I still feel dirty though.

Gale finds me about an hour later clawing my arms on the floor of my room.

"Madge," Gale begins gently, before scooping me up and carrying me to his room. I'm slightly numb as he washes the cuts gently and wraps them in bandages. I'm numb as he puts me in the bed, I'm numb as he climbs in next to me.

"Madge," He begins again, but I don't acknowledge it, "Listen to me. Look at me." He orders, pulling my chin so I have to look at him, "We are not going to rush this. We're going to wait until we're both ready, and clearly, we aren't. And besides, your dad's already going to kill me, I don't need him dancing on my grave. I don't care what President Snow says, we're waiting. Okay?" I cave and tears pool in my eyes. "Don't cry, Madge. Please." He wipes my eyes and kisses my forehead. "I'm sorry he's forcing all of this onto you. I wanted to wait, I wanted to do it right, not this." He mutters under his breath.

I hope he knows that I know that. I know he didn't want this. Hell, I know I didn't want it like this. I know what he said was true though. I know I would've accepted in a heartbeat anyways.

I just hope he knows that any child of ours will be _guaranteed_ a spot in the Hunger Games.

* * *

_A/N: Okay, so school is swamping me and I'm having trouble with this once a week update thing because I always think of so many good ideas during the week. Merp. This was an insanely long chapter, I'm worried there might be some mistakes in there. Sorry if there are. Anyways, thoughts? Concerns? Favorite part? Critisim is welcome, though sometimes I don't take it very well, haha._

_Oh! Also, I'm doing an syot with a co-author, so we would really appreciate it if you would pop on over and maybe sumbit someone for us? Please?_


	26. Chapter 26

**I really, really hate school.**

* * *

Finally, after we get home, I can actually sleep. Or so I think. I end up screaming myself awakea few days after we get back to District Twelve. Everything from the arena is flashing before my eyes in quick motion. I rush to the bathroom and splash ice cold water onto my face. It wakes me up, that's for sure. As I gaze into the mirror at my dripping face, my sunken eyes, and a rats nest of hair, I relive the last day of the Victory Tour.

_Once we got back to the district, we were whisked away to my old house. Oh, how the memories attack me. I find myself running my hand over the countertops where I spilled flour one day. Everything is so familar, it's crazy. Just six months ago, I was living in this house, not aware that my life would go crazy. It's funny, I had never guessed I would be picked. No one guessed it, not even my dad._

_I don't see anyone from my family, or Gale's, but I guess you could say that I'm kind of dreading it. My dad probably is going to be yelling at Gale, and Hazelle will be dissapointed, most likely. I've decided not to tell my father about what President Snow said. He'd just freak out about it, and then demand to go talk to him which would essentially get his tounge cut out, or worse. I still need my dad. I already lost my mom, I don't need my dad dying on me also._

_Anyways, everyone is bustling around and around to get everything ready, and this time, I'm actually happy to be home. For once, everyone in the district will have full stomachs and won't be hungry. That's one of the perks of winning, besides living. Your district gets to eat as much as their bellies can fill. It makes me happy to see the young children running around holding cans of soup, or cookies. I'm inturpted from my thoughts when I hear a harsh beeping coming from my fathers office. I didn't even know he still worked here. _

_I creep into the office, praying the door doesn't squeak like it used to. Thankfully, it doesn't, and what I see on the screen shocks me. District Eight has rebelled. There are people littering the ground, blood is sprinkled around the square where we just were nearly five days ago. I'm in utter shock. People are shooting, and throwing punches, and ripping the entire district to shreds. I know that I wasn't supposed to see that, but I saw it. I shouldn't of seen it. It's for my dad's eyes only._

I come out of my trance and walk back to my room, where crap is thrown all around the room. I have obviously not cleaned in a while. Well, since I will never be able to fall asleep now, I might as well clean.

While I'm cleaning, I come across the pin I wore in the arena, and it causes me to wonder what actaully happened in the arena for my aunt. I know how she died and that she was allies with Haymitch, but I didn't know anything else. It got me wondering. What was the arena like? Who were the tributes? How did the Quell theme affect the districts?

The 25th Hunger Games theme was where everyone in the district had to vote on who went in. It makes me shudder just to think how horrible that would be. WOuld I want to be voted into it, knowing that everyone wanted me to be in it?

The 50th Hunger Games was double the tributes. I would hate having to be in the arena with fourty-seven other children, knowing that my chances of coming out were very slim. Hell, my chances of coming out of the last one were thin.

Now, for the 75th, I'm worried. I've never mentored before, and this is a horrible one that I have to start on. What if all disabled children are going in? Or children from the ages of 5-12 went in. I tremble at the thought of poor Posy having to deal with it. She hardly knows what it is, except that a lot of people don't come home. I'll admit, I didn't know what they were when I was four, and I wish I didn't know now. Sometimes, I wonder what the old world was like. If everyone was free, or the Hunger Games didn't exsist.

There's only one person alive who can maybe remember what it was like before the Hunger Games, but unfortunetly, she's in another district, and apparently to old to remember anything.

I hadn't realized I had zoned out for at least an hour. It's now nine a.m. and I'm wide awake and restless.

I change out of my old pajamas and tred down the stairs to a quiet house. There's a note on the counter: _Had to go in to the office, we _will_ talk later, Dad._

Wonderful.

* * *

As I'm making my breakfast, I go into the pantry to get some cereal, and notice something. It smells like fresh paint, and the paint looks different in spots then all around. Then, I notice the thin wire going up the wall and pull on it.

A box comes dropping down to the ground. There's more wire connected to it, and I keep pulling and pulling until I hear a _thunk _down the hall. I drag the small box to the table and examine it. It's full of knobs and buttons. I press a few and a shrill sound escapes the box. I cover my ears and attempt to turn it off, but only end up making it worse, until I hear a familar voice. Coming out of the box.

I can just make out a few words from it. "...yes, yes, fine, just fix it..." "Hello, Madge..."

It's my dad. I don't know what he's talking about until I get it. The houses have been bugged. they must have bugged them while we were gone.

Very quickly, I drag the other box down from the hallway and set it on the table, where a grab a meat mallet and position it above the boxes and slam it down on the box.

It's a very loud crash, but the thing hardly makes a dent in the box. After a few more swings, finally a crack appears. I drop the mallet and rush to the laundry room where our tools are waiting. I grab a hammer and race back to the kitchen and break the box in too. It sparks as it breaks. Same with the next.

I have to tell Haymitch. I tug on my shoes and jacket and race out the door into the snow. I sink at least 6 inches into the snow and by the time I get to Haymitch's house, I'm shivering and dripping wet.

Surprisingly, Haymitch is awake and has the fire going. He's drunk, but not as incapitated as he was last night. He was wobbling around calling everyone crude names, words I had never ever heard of. I'm sure he made them up from years of mentoring.

"Haymitch!" I shout through the house and hear a muffled grunt.

"Well, look who showed up!" He says while chugging a bottle.

"Haymitch." I say in all seriousness and lower my voice. "My house is bugged."

His eyes widen momentarily before standing and going to the kitchen. He's a little wobbly on his feet and I can hear him muttering under his breath, "...filthy bastards..." Who he is calling filthy bastards, I don't know, but I go along with it.

He points to the pantry, and then the hall. I nod and then he points to the garbage outside. There are the two white boxes.

"Already figured it out, sweetheart. Did you tell Hawthorne?"

"Not yet. He's probably in the woods."

"Well go tell him. We all know he hates the Capitol, he could blurt something out at anytime." I roll my eyes before going back outside. "Oh, and sweetheart?"

"Yes, Haymitch?"

"Be careful." I don't know what he means so I shrug and get to my house. I take a breather to actually be able to breathe inside of inhaling snow.

I'm kind of worried to see the Hawthornes. The glimpse I got of them last night was enough for me. Vick looked bored, Posy was jumping around in circles singing something, Rory was smirking, and Hazelle had her arms crossed, but she was smiling none the less. Anyways, when I knock on the door, it's opened instantely by none other than Rory.

"Hi Madge." Rory says, smirking at me.

"Hi." I don't really know what to say to him. It's kind of awkward for me.

"Can we help you?"

"Oh shut up. Can I come in?"

"Yeah come on in." I peel off my snow covered jacket and shake it off outside and hang it on the coat rack before wiping my shoes on the mat. I follow Rory down the hall to reveal a roaring fire and Vick and Posy playing a game. Vick is swinging Posy around by her hands and she's laughing her head off. Her cheeks are a rosy pink and her hair a complete an utter mess. She looks adorable. She gets sight of me and her eyes widen before she practically tackles me.

"Madge!" She cheers before wrapping her arms around my left leg and I hobble into the living room with Posy attached to my leg.

"Hi Posy." I laugh before scooping her up and giving her a proper hug. She latches onto my neck. "How are you?" I ask her and she smiles.

"Good! Mama says that she thought you would be here soon."

"Did she now?"

"Yeah!" She giggles into her hands.

"What now?"

I poke her stomach and she giggles some more.

"Mama says that you're getting married!" I groan inwardly before Hazelle comes out of the kitchen to see my red face.

"Oh! Madge! I didn't know you were coming over!"

"I didn't know either. I just have to tell Gale something."

Rory and Vick smirk from their place on the couch as they flip through the various channels filled withprevious Games. They stop on a replay of Johanna Mason's games and she's brutally murdering a girl.

"Vick please change that." Hazelle says sternly as she takes Posy from me, who was trying to watch.

"Time for your nap."

"But Mama-"

"No buts Posy." She huffs but allows her mother to

take her up the stairs quickly. When she comes back down, she speaks in an undertone to me.

"I didn't let her watch most of the Games. I don't want her to be-"

"I get it. It's fine. I didn't know much about it when I was four."

She nods before smiling. "So what's the real reason that you came over here?"

"Oh, I really just have to talk to Gale."

"Are you sure, cause-"

"Rory!" I say before shooting a glance at me.

"What?" He asks innocently. "All I was going to say was you probably have a wedding to plan and..."

"Rory!" I groan before placing my head in my hands promptly as I feel a blush rise into my cheeks. The entire household laughs as Hazelle pats my shoulder.

"You'll be dealing with us for the rest of your life. You sure you want to have to deal with that?" She has before pointing as Rory who's smirk falls quickly.

"Ma!"

"She's only joking Rory. I think." Vick laughs before Rory shoves him into the side of the couch. "What! You are kinda annoying." To this he receives another shove.

Hazelle and I laugh before she points up the stairs. "He's upstairs. He's asleep. Passed out as soon as you were allowed to be home. Only wakes up for meals."

I laugh beforepounding up the stairs. Gale's door is shut so I slowly open it to find himpassed out indeed. I step in after I hear a big laugh from downstairs and closethe door quickly. It shuts with a snap and Gale's eyes fly open. He relaxes again when he sees it's me.

"Hey." He groggily adjusts himself on the bed. I sit down on the side of it. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. Your family was just harassing me." I wave it off as he motions for me to lay down with him.

I sigh as I slip off my shoes and crawl up next to him. He lets me use his shoulder as a pillow and he tangles his hand in my hair.

"Why do you always play with my hair?"

"I happen to like your hair." He yawns before twirling a piece of my hair. I smile to myself before he talks again.

"Can we nap? Please?" He says his eyes already closing.

"I need to-"

"Please!" He drags out the _ea_ sound and I cave.

"Fine." I grumble before scooting closer to him. He wraps his other a around my waist and pulls me closer to him. His breath tickles my neck and I shiver. His fingers brush my waist where my shirt has ridden up and goosebumps flesh. How does he do this to me?

"You cold?"

I shake my head. Gale's always warm. Why is he always so warm? Not that I'm really complaining but...

"Love you." He murmurs and I fight the blush.

"Love you too." I murmurs back and he nuzzles into my neck and I feel his smile.

Within seconds, he's asleep, eyes fluttered shut and breath even. He looks so much younger when he's asleep. He doesn't look like he's spent years fending for himself or that he survived the Hunger Games.

I know I'll have to tell him about how the houses are bugged, and Haymitch will be expecting him to know, but I can't bring myself to wake him. I'll tell him when he wakes up.

Eventually, I drift into a light sleep, slipping in and out of consciousness, still feeling Gale pressed up against my back.

* * *

When I do finally wake up, I'm aware of a steady breath on my neck.

Oh, yeah. I'm at Gale's. I shift slightly so I can bury my face again to try to go back to sleep, because I always seem to sleep better when I'm with Gale, but I wake him up.

"Did I wake you up?" I whisper to him and he chuckles.

"Nah. I was about to wake up again anyways. You hungry?" He asks while brushing my hair out of my face.

Again with the hair thing.

"A little." I shrug but my stomach gurgles, ruining my façade. He smirks before standing up and helping me up and links our hands.

As we go down the stairs, I remember about the bugging.

"Gale."

"Yeah?"

I stand on my tiptoes so my mouth comes up right by his ear.

"The houses are bugged. You me and Haymitch. They're all bugged."

His eyes narrow. "Where?" He asks dryly.

"The pantry. And the hallway. They're connected." I whisper and Gale nods and drags me to the kitchen and says something under his breath to his mother and she herds her younger children out of the kitchen and I point to Gale where I found it and he removes it and breaks it in half swiftly before chucking it in the trash can, making a big show of it.

I roll my eyes and he smirks before grabbing some bread out of the pantry. He promptly begins making two sandwiches.

"Hey, you don't have to-" He waves me off and continues to make a sandwich for the both of us. When he's done he sets in on a plate and pushes it towards me as all three younger Hawthorne children come running back into the kitchen all yelling something about playing hide and seek.

"No! Rory I told you, Posy was hiding behind her door and you were under her bed and I found you first!"

"No, you looked behind the door first and then under the bed!"

"Guys, guys, let's just say that... Madge is it!" Gale shouts quickly.

"Wait what?" I say dropping the other half of my sandwich on my plate and Rory busts out in laughter.

"Madge is it! Hide!" Rory shouts and they all go and hide leaving me sitting awkwardly at the table when Hazelle walks in.

"You might as well go find them." She laughs and I push myself out of the comfy dining chair and go to count.

At about 30 I get bored and just shout out, "Ready or not, here I come!"

I pad down the hallway in my sock feet and I'm glad I have socks because the floor is ice cold. First, I look in the office and find no one, not even in the , I look in the dining room,and still, no one.

Next, I look in the living room, and hear a giggle. Then another. And another. I drop to the ground and look under the coffee table to find Vick, trying to suppress his laughing, but with no luck.

"Found you!" I tell him gleefully and he groans.

"That means I'm it next!"

"Yup! But first we have to find everyone else." He takes me by my wrist and drags me up stairs.

"I am perfectly capable to walk on my own, Vick." I say and he laughs.

"Fine." He lets go of my wrist quickly. "Plus, Gale would kill me if he assumed I was holding hands with you."

"Nah." I say before slinging an arm around his shoulder and ruffling his hair. He groans and flattens his hair hair and rolling his eyes.

I go to look down the hall in the upstairs sitting room and look in the closet. Theres Posy smiling while hiding under some blankets.

"Found ya!" I shout gleefully before grabbing her and beginning to tickle her stomach. She giggles uncontrollably and tears leak out of her crinkled eyes.

"Stop it Madge!" She gasps out but I don't stop. I keep tickling her and tickling her until arms wrap around my waist and lift me up. Now, after being in an arena, this should freak me out, but it doesn't.

"Gotcha!" I hear Gales booming laugh from behind me and that makes me begin to laugh. He pins me on the couch and begins tickling me.

"Posy! Help!" I call out through choked breath and she crawls over to us and instead of helping me, she tickles me too.

"Stop it!" I laugh, tears now coming out of my eyes and streaming down my face. I begin to cough from lack of air, but I'm still laughing, and I'm pretty sure that I might have just grown abs. I can't stop laughing.

Posy and Gale are leaning above me, smiling as I catch my breath. Posy's hair tickles my face and I blow it off before crossing my arms across my chest.

"That was not fun." I huff before jumping up. Posy laughs before clinging to my leg and I pry her off. Gale lifts her onto his shoulders as he laughs.

"It was pretty fun to us." He says.

"Well you weren't the one being tickled to death. Anyways, I gotta find Rory."

"Ah. I know where he'll be." Gale walks me down to a spare room and pushes open the door to reveal and empty room and a table. Rory's in a box, under a blanket, under the table.

"You know, Rory, if you hide in the same spot every time, someone is bound to find you." Vick says. I didn't realize he came up behind us.

"Well I figured that since it was Madge, she wouldn't know and..."

"Oh shut up. Doe he always hide here?" I mutter as he smiles proudly at me. "I'll take that as a yes.

The doorbell rings answer hear Hazelle go to open it. A few words are exchanged before Hazelle is climbing the stairs and and her face is as pale as the sheet Rory was under.

"Oh God." I say quickly as she makes her way toward us.

"Haymitch is here. He wants to talk to you two." She says, her voice shaking.

Gale and I glance at each other quickly before practically sprinting down the stairs to get to Haymitch. His face is grim and gaunt and pale. He pulls us outside and into the snow. Gale grabs a jacket before we are submerged into the white. I shiver as I have no shoes on or a jacket. Gale hands me his jacket and I put it on gratefully.

I can make out Haymitch's face through the snow, and I can register his mouth moving, but I can't make out the words, but eventually they travel to me. And Idon't exactly like what I hear.

"We know the theme for the Quell."

* * *

A/N: So I figured there should be some good before they heard horrible news. Thoughts on the chapter? Favorite parts? I love hearing them they always make me smile(: What do y'all think the Quell will be? It's not going to be the victor thing, if possible, worse. *hint hint*

Also, relationships are not all fun and games. It may seem like it's okay now, but it won't be, so don't get to comfortable with this arrangement of them being all happy and it being rainbows and unicorns pracing through flowers, because life happens and will get in the way.

Madge's birthday next chapter, so we'll see where that takes us.

Again, I will plea: please, if you are interested, pleaseeee enter something for my thingymabober, or whatever. So just pop on by my profile and click the story! You'll know which on it is.


	27. Chapter 27

**Dislclaimer: Don't hate me. Warning: slight trigger somewhere in this. Don't say I didn't warn you.**

* * *

The moment Haymitch utters those words, I feel sick. I feel like I'm going to pass out into the snow. This one theme could possibly affect everyone. Haymitch leads us to a house in the Victor's Village that no one occupies. Once inside, my feet are numb and I can't feel my face. Quickly, Haymitch tells us both to sit, and I do, wrapping my arms around myself to keep my teeth from chattering. Gale helps by pulling me into his arms and trying to prevent me from getting hypothermia or whatnot. Haymitch paces in front of us for a minute and then turns, running his hand through his hair.

"We just recieved word on the Quarter Quell. We know the theme."

"And?" Gale asks him and Haymitch opens his mouth, and then closes it, then opens it again.

"Well, it's not very good."

"When has a Quarter Quell theme ever been good?" I spout out, shivering slightly.

"Never. But this one... It's directed at you two." If possible, I freeze. I can literally feel the blood leaving my face. I shift so I can look at Gale. His face is cold and hard and he's avoiding my eyes. "Well, technically all of the victors, but you two were the most recent."

I groan involuntary and Gale rests his chin on my head. "Go on, Haymitch." He prompts to him.

"Brace yourselves. 'To show the rebels that even the strongest among them lost family in the war they helped create, family and friends of exsisting Victor's shall be placed in the reaping.' Bad huh?"

Deafining silence follows his words as we soak it in. Family and friends of victors... Oh, GOD no. My breathing becomes laubored as I realize what it means. Family, as in my father, Hazelle, and the rest of Gale's family, including Katniss and Prim his 'cousins' and then friends as in Peeta. Not one, but two of our friends or family is going to have to go into that hellhole, all because we both came out. It's all our fault.

I can't see, I can't breathe, I'm feeling light headed, everything Gale and Haymitch are saying is fuzzy, I can't make out anything. I rub my eyes once, twice then three times and nothing happens except it getting worse. What on earth is going on to me?

I'd say I'm in shock. I can't believe that my _family _will have to go in. I'm already dreading our time as mentors, and it's practically six months away.

"Hey, you okay? You haven't said anything this entire time." Gale says tipping my chin up.

"I'm fine." I snap and he stares. He can see right through me.

"Yeah, me neither." I sigh as he stands me up.

"Let's just go."

I nod and we stand up. I hadn't noticed that Haymitch had left.

"Do you want to go back to my house, Madge? You can probably stay for dinner." He asks me gently as we walk to the door.

I shake my head. "I think I'm just going to go home." My voice trembles when I speak and Gale doesn't protest. He must know that I need to just be alone right now and human interaction with people who may be dead in six months will not sit well with me.

He drops me off at my house and immediately I slip my feet into slippers. My dad is still not home. Not that I care, he could be dead in a few months.

I sprawl myself onto the couch and don't hesitate to dig my nails into my forearms, immediately drawing blood as it drips down my arm and onto the leather couch.

I can't do this! I cannot handle this anymore, I should've died when Clove attacked me. I've been holding in all the pain for weeks now, and I just hold it in anymore! I'm done! All the pain that's been in my heart is causing me to never find my way and how I should live my life and get through it. After all this time, nothing can make it better, I'm going to be stuck like this. I'm crazy. I'm utterly insane. I don't think I want to live anymore.

* * *

When I wake up the next morning, dried blood is sticky on my wrists and I think I just dug my nails into my wrists all night, but, how wrong I was. Then, I see the skinny letter opener on the floor of my bathroom, and it's covered in blood. My blood. The nights events come rushing back to me quickly.

I think I might've tried to kill myself, I don't know. All I really remember is that I cut myself. Several times. I turn my puffy, watery eyes to my wrists and see the three deep cuts on both wrists. I can't bring myself to move for a couple hours until I hear the knocking on my bedroom door.

Whoever it is, they can't see what I've done to myself. Quickly, I tug a blanket around myself and wipe my eyes on the blanket. I'll deal with the blood later. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror before I go out. I don't look like me. Dry, cracked lips, crazy hair, puffy red eyes. I force a smile. There. That looks like me, sort of. I shove open the door and it crashes into Peeta.

"Hey!" He exclaims surprised to see me. He takes one look at me and instantly knows somethings wrong. "What happened? You don't look to good."

"I'm fine." I shrug, tuging the blanket tighter around me.

"Are you sure? You look kind of tired."

"I am tired Peeta." I groan and he laughs. Leave it to Peeta to laugh right now. "Why are you here, anyways?" It came out harsher than I meant it.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you, but if you're not in the mood, then I'll just go-"

"No! Stay!" I hadn't realized how much I had wanted to hang out with Peeta until now, really.

He laughs quickly before going back down the stairs and I follow, desperatly trying to get the blood to go away, but it keeps coming slightly.

"I brought some bread also!" Peeta calls up to me.

"Just put it on the counter." I tell him and he does, pausing when he sees the note from my dad.

"What did he want to talk to you about?"

"I dunno, I never talked to him. What do you want to talk to me about?"

He smiles michevously and gets that glint in his eyes when he's going to enjoy talking about something. "Well... maybe about how you're _engaged_?!"

I groan and fall into a chair and put my head on the table. "It's a long story."

"So tell me." And I do. Somewhere in the story, Peeta starts laughing and then laughing again. "What?"

"It's just that no one in their right mind would've thought that the Mayor's daughter and a hunter from the Seam would end up together. I mean, he's so... And you're so..."

"I'm so what Peeta?" I smirk.

"Well, for one you're really short, and he's really tall and you're just quiet and he's so loud and obnoxious and-"

"Peeta, the story?" I would rather not hear about how different we are, we know it. So, I countinue. I start using my hands at some point and Peeta stops me, grabbing my wrist.

I yelp and pull my hand out of his grasp, but he pulls it back and stares at the three deep cuts that are there.

"Madge..." He looks at me and I stare. "What happened?

"I- I- tripped." I finish lamely and he stares.

"Like hell you tripped. When did you do this?" I have never heard Peeta curse in any form so I'm shocked for a moment.

"Last night." I mumble before I burst into tears. Peeta's holding me instately trying to get me to stop crying, but all the pain I've been holding in is just letting itself out, flowng freely. Pretty soon, his shoulder is soaked from my tears and I begin to hiccup.

"Calm down, Madge. Tell me what happened."

I can't. If I tell him what happened, he'll know about the theme and how he could be dead. If I tell him, he'll know that I tried to kill myself. I wish I would've killed myself. I can't take it anymore. President Snow is trying to sell me, two people I love will have to die, because of me, I might add, and I just can't take anything anymore. I want to die. Why isn't anyone just accepting the fact that I _want _to be dead?

"Madge, talk to me."

"Am I insane, Peeta?" I whimper out and his crulean eyes look so concerned, and they fill up with tears.

"No, Madge. You aren't insane." His voice drops to a whisper. "The Capitol sucks, we all know that. If they went through what you had to go through, they'd be worse off than you. We're used to the Games and the pain they inflict. The Capitol thinks they're enjoyment. They aren't."

I think for a minute on his words. "I want to die, Peeta."

"Don't say that, Madge. You don't want to die. You have so much to live for! You have a chance to grow up, start a family! You should be happy about that! A ton of other people would give anything to have that opportunity!" Peeta's always wanted a family.

"I wouldn't be happy, Peeta. I'm not happy anymore. I'm completely miserable. I hate my life, I want to die. Besides, who would want to live in a world where children kill each other for enjoyment?" I moan and Peeta sighs before standing to make some tea. He comes back over as the water is boiling with some bandages and starts wrapping my wrists, while I sit there, tears pouring down my face.

"Promise me something." I look at him while he wipes tears from my face. "Promise me you will talk to someone about this. I don't care who, someone. Me, Gale, Haymitch, even Katniss." I feel a soft smile appear on my face. Katniss would be no good at talking to me about this. Haymitch is out of the question, he's to drunk. Gale... he'd understand, I guess. I hope.

"I promise." I mumble quietly. "Am I one person, or two? I feel broken in half, I can't function, I feel like I'm living a double life. Am I broken or one?"

Peeta sighs before crouching in front of me. "It's because you are living two lives. The one the Capitol wants you to be, and who you are. Be who you are. It's better."

"But am I broken?"

"Yeah." He hesitates. "But you can be pieced back together."

* * *

_A/'N: Madge may seem a bit crazy right now, but it will get better. I promise. Anyways, I got enough time to write this week! Woot woot! Also, I'm lacking inspiration, so this may not be very good. I don't know._

_Also, I lied. Madge's birthday will be next chapter. ANy ideas for that? Again, lacking inspiration. _

_Thoughts on the chapter? Thoughts on the Quell? Review(:_


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: Still don't own these characters, unfortunately.**

* * *

Peeta leaves about an hour later, with all portable sharp objects present in my house. He makes me cut my fingernails, or he cuts them for me. I don't think he thinks I'm capable of doing it myself. I don't think I'm capable of it either. So, when he leaves, the only sharp object left in my house is paper, because a papercut is really going to hurt.

For a while, I sit at my kitchen table, waiting for my dad to get home. I've decided that I want to talk to him about this issue, besides the Quell theme. By the time he gets home, the once steaming mug of tea that I held in my frozen hands is now ice-cold and tastes absolutely nasty.

My father enters the room, shoulders slumped, eyes tired, hair a mess. He looks shocked to see me, considering I haven't seen him since we got home, basically.

"Madge? What are you doing up at this hour?" He drops his briefcase on the table and it lands with a thunk. I can only imagine what's in it. He glances at me and then takes a double take when he gets sight of me. I must look so broken. Oh, that's right. I'm broken. I feel so upset and sad and just... depressed. I'm feeling depressed again, knowing that two people who I'm quite close with will have to die. The thought doesn't sit well with me.

"What's wrong, honey?" He asks frantically, dropping into the chair next to me and taking my stiff hand in his. Huh. It's nice to know that even though he's probably mad at me with the whole marriage thing, that he stills cares about my sanity. If there's any left, that is.

"Did something happen? Are you hurt?" He continues, eyes searching my empty eyes for an answer that I can't give him. So, in answer, instead of talking, I hold out my bandaged wrists and he knows what I did to myself instantly.

* * *

My dad talks to me for about an hour about it. About what I could've done instead, what I'm going to do about and such. I'll admit that I don't pay much attention to him at all, just nod and agree when nessecary. I think he thinks I'm going crazy. I do feel a bit crazy, but no one is the same person they were before the Games, so I have that in my defense if anyone calls me crazy.

He sends me to bed a little before nine. It takes me all but thirty seconds to realize that there's no way I'm sleeping peacefully tonight. I change into an old t-shirt and sit down on the edge of my bed rubbing my eyes and running my hands through my hair until it's a rat's nest. I then switch to pacing back and forth across my room. Back, forth, back, forth. Over and over again, trying to keep my mind from straying to what I did to myself. It works for a little, and then I get completely restless and can't stay in this stuffy room without some air.

I open the window as some snow flurries come in and melt on my hardwood floor. The rush of cold air makes its way through me, chilling me to the bone. I'm about to go into the bathroom to splash my face with water, and I do, but remember all of the blood, all too late. Once I see it, I'm crashing to the ground, head in my hands, unable to control my breathing.

I'm insane, I'm insane, I'm insane. I feel insane, people are starting to treat me like I'm insane, and I sure as hell that I look insane. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block the images coming toward me, before crawling back into my room and slamming the bathroom door shut and curling up in a ball on my freezing floor and crying myself to sleep.

* * *

As usual, I wake up screaming. I saw Rory, Vick, Posy, everyone dying in the most horrible ways I don't even want to speak of them. I'm shivering but I'm dripping in sweat and still laying on the floor. The window is still open. Snow is skirting into my room and covering my floor in the pure white.

I push my cold, mangled self off of the floor and wrap my blanket around me and trudge down the stairs to the smell of food. My dad hears me come in and crosses the room, kissing the top of my head. This is the first day he has been home in the morning. I wonder what the occasion is.

"Happy birthday, dear." He tells me softly and realization dawns on me. Oh. Right. I'm seventeen today. He sits me down in the same chair that I sat in last night and pushes food and a cup of coffee in front of me, hoping to wake me up. I sip at it slowly, the bittersweet flavor flooding my tastebuds. I slowly bite a bit of food, hoping my twisting stomach will keep the food down. It does, so I eat a little more. And then some more. And then some more.

The phone rings. My dad goes to get it. I hear muffled conversation.

"She's here." A pause. "Yeah, I'll get her. She's a bit... I'll let her tell you." Another pause as he walks in. He hands me the phone.

"Hello?" My voice comes out scratchy and empty.

"Madge? Are you sick?" It's Gale. I can hear Posy talking in the background.

In a way, I think to myself, but outloud I say, "No. I'm fine."

He sighs before speaking again. "Hey, can I talk to you?"

"We are talking." I mumble and he laughs. My dad is tactful enough to pretend to not be paying attention.

"No, I mean, like out."

"Sure, I guess."

"I'll come get you in a bit."

"Mmmhmm." I reply and I get the sense that Gale still doesn't think I'm okay. We hang up and I shovel the rest of my food in my mouth, not even borthering to savor the wonderful taste of the food. My dad tells me that he'll see my later, a mischevious glint in the eyes.

Once upstairs, I slam my window shut and then crank up the heater in my room. Then, I cross the my closet to find something to wear. I have to make sure that the shirt covers my wrists. I'm not exactly in the mood to get another lecture over it. I guess I'll tell him tomorrow. During the day, I'll try to act normal and sane, and then at night everything will fall apart. I kinda wish that Haymitch wouldn't have told me because if he wouldn't have, I wouldn't have stupid cuts on my wrists.

I settle jeans, boots, and a long sleeve shirt that thankfully covers up my wrists. I go to take a shower, not in my bathroom that is, and try to make my face look normal instead of botchy from tears. I am unsuccessful. Hopefully, he'll just think it's from the cold. If not, then I'm royally screwed.

* * *

Gale picks me up about thirty minutes later. It's quite awkward between him and my father, like they've talked. They exchange some stiff words before Gale ushers me out the door.

"I told you he was going to be mad at me." Are the first words he says as soon as we're off my front lawn.

"He's just... Upset, I guess?" My voice still comes out scratchy, probably from my two night sleeping on the floor and one with the window open.

Gale looks concered at my scratchy voice and asks again if I'm okay.

"I'm fine, Gale, I'm tired. You worry too much." I nudge him with my elbow and he cracks a smile but doesn't say anything. He doesn't believe me.

"I worry because you seem different. And you are acting like you're sick." He says, slipping his hand into mine. Technically, if you think about it, I am sick, but I don't say anything. I don't know where he's taking me yet.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see." We walk in comfortable silence for a little bit, both of us lost in our own thoughts. After a little, he tells me to stop and close my eyes. I go to protest, but he's stubborn.

I eventually close my eyes and I feel him lift up my hair before something lands lightly on my chest. My hair flutters back down to my neck, warming it again. My eyes are still closed and I he takes both of my frozen hands in his warm ones.

"Open your eyes." He whispers and I do, looking down at my neck. There's a small heart on the thin sliver chain. It's a basic heart, but it says so much. It says that he loves me, and it's never going to change. "Happy birthday, Madge."

I throw my arms around his neck and press a kiss to his lips. "You didn't have to get me anything." I mumble against his lips and he grins.

"Yeah, I did. I wanted too. And I love you, so there. I win." He kisses my forehead and the bubble in my chest expands. Even after a while, I still can't control the happy feeling or the feeling of bliss that comes when I'm around Gale. I can't help it.

That's when my left sleeve slips and he catches glimpse of the white bandage.

* * *

A/N: So this didn't come out exactly how I wanted it too, but I guess I'm happy with it. Updates will be back on Saturday's or Sunday's. Now that I'm out of my Advanced Math class because apparently I wasn't smart enough for it, updates may be better becasue I'm not being drained from school, Chepter lenght may increase also.

So, what's Gale gonne say, huh?


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: There has to be rain for the rainbow, keep that in mind! Also, major time skip in this chapter!**

* * *

I don't say anything. Not one word. He doesn't either. I don't say anything as he starts to unwrap the bandages. I don't say anything when he gets to the last layer of them. I can't say anything when he sees the ugly wounds. My throat has closed up. He just stares at them. Longer than he should, his mouth hanging slightly open as he brushes his fingers over them. I flinch slightly, trying to jerk my hand away but his grip is strong.

"Madge..." His voice is quiet, but I know that on the inside, he's furious and dissapointed. Furious at himself, for leaving me alone. Furious at the Captiol, for making me do this to myself. And most of all, he's dissapointed in me, because we both thought I was getting better at handling this, not proggressivly worse. "What happened?" He chokes out, still talking in that quiet voice.

"I tripped?" I offer weakly, shrugging my shoulders. I know the effort is futile, he knows I didn't trip, just like Peeta knew. His gaze jerks up to meet mine. His expression is unreadable as he stares, trying to decipher me, trying to figure out why this happened. He can't seem to process words. He's trying too, his mouth opening and closing and opening and closing again.

The silence is what's killing me. I thought that yelling would be worse, but this is so much worse. I would rather have him yell at me instead of staring. "Will you please say something? Yell at me? Anything other than the silence!" I croak and he looks shocked that I even talked at all. He still doesn't say anything, instead, pulls me by the hand to somewhere I don't know.

* * *

It turns out that he took me to Haymitch. My vision became obscured by unshed tears and the snow. Next thing I realize, I'm sitting at a table, wrists exposed for the world to see.

"What the hell happened?" Gale shouts at Haymitch. Haymitch downs a drink before relpying.

"What are you talking about? Nothing hap-" Gale points to my wrists and Haymitch's voice breaks. I can't look at them. I can only look at my wrists, the six deep cuts that look fresh and bright red in front of me.

"She's going off the deep-end. Like Cresta." He mumbles, but I still catch it. This is when the tears make their way out of my eyes and slowly inch their way down my face.

"What the hell does that mean?" Gale shouts again and I cringe because I know what it means. Haymitch thinks I'm going crazy. Hell, I probably am going crazy.

"She's going crazy, Hawthorne. Just like Cresta. She went crazy when her partner was beheaded. She's," He points his finger at me, "going crazy because she's may be one of the most traumatized from the games than all of us. She locks herself in her own mind, reliving all of it. Some are pretty bad, but she's one of the worst I've ever known. Nothing can reverse insanity." I jerk my eyes up to look at him. He's looking at me like he would someone who is crazy. I guess I've just been classified as 'nearly crazy".

Gale looks at me and I drop my eyes. He's looking for some kind of normal from me, some kind of sane. I can't give it too him. "This is your fault. The reason she did that was because you told her the quell theme." He's shaking with anger, or something and Haymitch calmly replies with the worst possible thing at the moment.

"It's not my fault. It's your fault for letting her hear it. You knew the Quell theme was going to be bad, and yet, you still let her hear it."

"Stop talking about me as if I'm not here." I choke out and they both turn to me. "I do have feelings, and yes, insane people can have feelings." I lift my eyes from the table to look at them. They're speechless, amazed that I spoke at all.

"Sweetheart, we-"

"Stop. Please. You aren't helping me." I shift my gaze to Gale. I can tell he wants to look away, but doesn't. "Do you think I'm insane?"

His silence is my answer. He thinks I'm a little bit insane. "That's what I thought." I resort back to silence as Gale and Haymitch start muttering, most likely about me.

So is this what Annie Cresta feels like everyday? Is this what's it's like to be insane?

* * *

Days past, then weeks. Gale seems to be scared of me, thinking I might attack him or something, so he keeps his distance, but still tries to help me. I don't know what to think of the whole 'nearly isane' thing. It's all such fun.

Security is being tightened over the district. The fence is always on, people are in the stocks, and a curfew has been enacted. Romulous Thread, the new head peacekeeper, is absolutely cruel, to anyone. The Hob was set on fire, according to Gale.

The day comes when I'm told by Peeta and Katniss that there is going to be a mandatory viewing tonight and everyone is required to go to the sqaure to watch it. They seem to not care if I'm insane or not, at least, they don't tell me if they care. I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach when I think about it. I don't know why. It's not a very good feeling though.

The day drags on, and my father walks me to the square where I meet up with the Hawthornes. I'm sure the kids don't know what I did to myself, but I can tell that Hazelle knows. Her gaze is knowing, concerned, like a mother should be.

"How are you feeling dear?"

"I'm fine, I guess. A little tired." She nods as Posy comes up to me.

"Hi!" She cheerfully exclaims to me.

"Hi, Posy. How are you?"

"Bored. You never come over anymore. Why not?" Ah. Why. A five year old's favorite word.

"I-I've been busy, Posy." I don't tell her that I'm sort of crazy.

"Hey, sweetheart." The smell of alchohol comes out near me, and I nearly gag. Haymitch hasn't come near me since that day. Hardly looks at me the same way anymore. "I just saved you from an awkward situation." He slurs as he drags me away.

"Why? You haven't talked to me in weeks." I point out and he shrugs.

"We're victors. We look out for each other." I'm about to make some smart remark about how he hasn't helped me in the past few weeks when I've been locked in my own mind, driving myself even more insane, when someone's hand slips into mine. I jump a bit before I realize that it's Gale.

"You scared me." I tell him and he shrugs.

"Obviously, since you nearly jumped out of your skin." Haymitch leads us up to the front, where we are required to stand. I don't know what's going on, but whatever it is, it's making Haymitch go nuts. He's fidgeting and only I can tell, and I want to laugh, but it would add onto the fact that I'm 'crazy'.

We make it to the front just in time as the screen flashes on. I gasp when a little boy, maybe Vick's age, walks onto the stage, carrying an old box. Haymitch stiffens beside me.

"It's the reading of the card." He mutters, sober now. I don't know what that is, but I nearly gag when President Snow comes onto the stage. His sickly face is smiling, as if he knows something we don't. His lips are bright red, and stretched out and I can practically smell the terrible roses from here. The boy steps forward and opens the box. There are thousands of cards. President Snow pulls out the third one in the box and speaks in his cold, drawling voice.

"On the twenty-fifth aniversary, to show the rebels that the districts were in control of the war, each district will choose two tributes to represent them. On the fiftieth anniversary, to show the rebels that for every two of them, there was one of us, twice as many tributes will be entered." I squeak out of fear. My aunt was in that one. Gale squeezes my hand and pulls me closer, hoping to prevent me from running off after it's announced.

"And now we honor our third Quarter Quell." He opens the envelope and not one, but _two _pieces of withered paper fall out."Oh. It seems that there are two themes this year!" He smiles as the Capitol crowd cheers. My jaw drops and I look at Haymitch. His is on the floor. This was not part of the plan. President Snow clears his throat. "Our first theme. To show the rebels that even the strongest among them lost family and friends in the war, all family and friends of living victor's shall be entered in the reaping." Everyone around us starts whispering and throwing glances to the Hawthornes. I don't dare look behind me.

"And now for our second theme. To show the rebels that some people did not volunteer to die for their cause, no volunteers will be allowed. The tributes picked will be set in stone."

And that's about when chaos insures. People are screaming, Thread is trying to regain control but can't so, he shoots his gun. At the crowd. Another scream and someone falls to the ground. I can't tell who it is from here. People are still screaming as Thread cracks his whip against the side of the Justice Building and everyone falls silent immediately. Gale is gripping my hand like it's a lifeline, trying to keep me from doing something rash, or acting crazy around the whole district.

"Curfew will be enacted in twenty minutes. Be at your houses or," He smiles sickly, "you spend a night in the stocks."

* * *

A/N: So... Don't hate me, it's just a twist. All stories have their ups and down's huh? And, again, I will say, it's going to get better. Madge may seem completely insane, but she's still herself. She'll be okay. And I've gotten a few concerning reviews that people are afraid Posy is going to be reaped, and I just want to say that I'm not that mean. I couldn't do that, I love Posy.. So it's not Posy.


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: Sigh. Reaping may be this chapter or next. Don't know. I want to get all of those family moments in there.**

* * *

"You two. Come here." Haymitch mutters at us to follow and we do, to one of the empty Victor's Village's house. He paces in front of us as we sit on the edge of the fireplace. We sit for at least ten minutes before Haymitch speaks.

"Two people are going into the arena. Two people that you two know. You two are going as mentor's. I'm not. Once you're there, talk to Finnick Odair, he'll know what to do. Follow his exact directions, even if it kills you to do so. Got it?" He looks so angry that I can't even process any of it, but I learn that I don't want to be on the bad side of Haymitch Abernathy. "Now go. Spend time with them, it could be the last of it."

I'm debating whether or not I should leave, as Haymitch looks ready to murder someone, when Gale grabs my hand.

"Stay tonight." He tells me rather than asking. I don't know why he wants me to stay over, he shouldn't want me around his family. I don't protest, though, the nightmares will be horrible tonight. A bell rings from outside and curfew has been enacted. Gale curses under his breath. He makes me run to his house so we aren't caught.

"You aren't getting put in the stocks. Not now, not ever." He tells me when we reach his front door. We walk in to an empty house. Hazelle sits at the kitchen table, staring off into space.

"Where is everyone?" Gale asks her and she sighs.

"I sent them all to bed." Her hands wring together. She's anxious, I can tell. She knows who has to go into the arena, and she doesn't like it.

"Oh." At that moment, Posy comes down the stairs in her little pink nightgown, rubbing her eyes. She looks scared. Me, knowing the pain of being scared, feel sorry for the girl.

"Posy? What are you doing up?" Hazelle asks her gently while Posy clambers into her mother's lap.

"I had a bad dream." I shudder inwardly while Gale takes a sharp breath.

"What was your dream about?" Hazelle asks her, while rubbing her back.

"I was underwater and I couldn't get out." I shift, I know the feeling.

"Well you're okay now. Come on, go back to bed, Posy."

"Can... Can Madge come with me?" She whimpers, looking genuinly scared. Her big grey eyes are looking at me expectedly and I just can't say no, but I glance at Gale to see if it's okay. He nods quickly before sitting down at the table next to his mother. Posy climbs into my arms and I walk up the stairs with the little girl curled around me.

I drop her on her bed, the sheets evident of thrashing around. I know the feeling. Quickly, I straighten out the sheets and she climbs into them. She grips my hand, her small fingers holding onto mine.

"Do you ever have bad dreams?" She asks and I jump a bit.

"Yeah. Every once and a while." Big lie right there. Usually, they come every night, occasionally twice every night. I don't tell her that. She keeps tossing and turning and not getting comfortable for a little before her eyelids start to droop and she nods off. I press a soft kiss to her forehead before walking out of the room and leaving the door cracked a bit.

Back downstairs, Gale is the only one sitting at the table. His mother must have gone to bed. He looks up when he hears my footsteps.

"She asleep?" I nod and he stands up, crossing the room and standing next to me. He kisses the top of my head.

"Are you ready to go to bed?"

"Is your mom okay with it? I mean..." He cuts me off by dragging me up the stairs.

"It's fine." Once in his room, he rummages in his drawers and pulls out an old faded red t-shirt. "You can wear that, if you want." He smirks at me and I blush before going into the bathroom to change. His shirt is practically a night gown for me, it goes to my knees. It's soft and smells like Gale, so I'm not complaining.

Once back in the room, he looks at me a smiles. "I like seeing you in my shirts." He chuckles before I smile too. This is basically the first time I've smiled since when I cut myself.

"I like wearing them." I say simply and he laughs before crossing to me and wrapping his arms around my small frame. He shuffles over to the bed and invites me to climb in next to him, and I do. I rest my head on the pillow next to his and he pulls me closer to him, our noses are practically touching. His breath is hot on my face and Gale begins to drowse.

When I'm certain he's asleep, I whisper the words I've been wanting to say for weeks. "I'm sorry." I half whisper-half whimper. It turns out that he's still awake. Shoot.

"What are you sorry for?" He mumbles, sleep evident in his voice. His eyes remain closed for a moment until they open slightly, looking at me. "For what, Madge?"

I sigh deeply before looking away from him and up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry for cutting myself. I'm sorry for being insecure about everything. I'm sorry for driving you up the walls." Once it starts, it won't stop. Every fault I see in myself is coming out in a flow like a river, endless. "I'm sorry for being shy. I'm sorry for never shutting up. I'm sorry for being insane. I'm sorry for nearly killing myself, I'm sorry for everything." By the end of it, I'm choked up and I can't seem to speak.

"Is that really what you think of yourself?" Gale asks me quietly, turning my head so I have to look at him. His fingers make their way to my hair and tangle themselves in it while he stares at me, eyes wide and concerned.

I can only nod and I hear him curse under his breath lightly before dropping his hand from my hair and wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me ever closer to him so my body molds with his. His chin rests on the top of my head while mine rests on his chest where his heart beats. I begin to cry softly and he tries to calm me down.

"Listen. You are not shy. You're the complete opposite of it. You don't drive me up the walls, you keep me grounded, Madge. I love hearing your voice; when you didn't talk for two weeks it almost killed me not to hear your voice." I look up at him and he wipes the remainder of my tears off of my face. He looks so genuinely concered and worried. "Madge, you aren't insane. You're still you. So what if you're different? Neither of us are the same anymore. The arena changes everyone, but you're still you."

"But you thought I was." I choke out and he pulls me closer.

"I was scared, Madge. I didn't know what I was going to do, I had no clue what I was going to do if something happened to you. If anyone should be apologizing, it's me. I didn't help you as much as I should've. I should've done something about it instead of leaving you to figure it out yourself. I'm sorry, Madge, I'm so sorry." He just holds me for a little.

Eventually, I actually start to dirft off. I feel Gale press a soft kiss to my forehead and murmur something, but I can't make it out. I actually sleep for the first time in months.

* * *

The next morning, when sunlight streams through the window, and there's a soft knock on the door, I wake up. There's another knock on the door. And then another.

Gale calls out, "What?" in an annoyed voice. I almost laugh at how annoyed he sounds. He smirks before tugging me closer to him.

"Mama wants you to get up. She thought you were going to sleep forever." Posy's girlish voice rings through the door. She giggles a few times before speaking again. "Mama says that Madge is here."

Gale groans into my hair and that's when I laugh a bit. Posy's giggling more and then her giggles fade as she walks down the stairs. "Rory's gonna nag us forever." H groans again and I shift so I'm looking at him.

"Will your mom be mad?"

"Nah. She said it was fine last night, as long as nothing happened, whatever that means." The wey he says it makes heat rise to my face as he smirks. He knew what it meant, I knew what it meant, it just wasn't going to happen. I mean, I love Gale, don't get me wrong, just neither of us are exactky ready for that. We can hardly handle ourselves.

Gale slids out of bed and makes his way to the door before pausing and crossing back across the room as I slip out of the bed. He picks up the pair of old faded jeans I had on yesterday and chucks them at me while he turns around. "You might want to put those on. OR my mother and Rory might go nuts." I grin as notice the dig that Gale took on the young boy. I slip on the soft fabric. The shirt is quite large so I tuck the end of it into the pocket.

My stomach growls and this time, it's Gale turn to snicker. "What? I didn't have dinner."I mumble and he chuckles, opening to door and dragging me with him.

* * *

_A/N: Reaping next chapter. I'm currently deciding how to do that, I'm stuck between two sets of people. Can't decide. Anyways, this chapter may not be up tp par, suffering from writers block and school is killing me. Sorry for late update. Thoughts?_

_And whoaa! When did this get to 30 chapters? Feels like yesterday I started it. Thanks for all of the support, it really means alot when I get a review or something!_


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: Sorry.**

* * *

Once downstairs, Vick oggles at us, and Rory smirks. Great, here comes the 'Let's harass Madge!' time. It's usually Rory who starts it, and then the family catches on. Gale included, sometimes.

In the kitchen, Hazelle looks at us for a moment. "I thought you were going to sleep for days."

"I wanted too, but Posy," Gale jabs a finger at the giggling girl, "woke us up."

"Well you have to get up someday." Rory's voice becomes louder as he walks into the kitchen with Vick on his heels, trying to catch up to his older brother. What I find amazing, is that Rory is nearly as tall as me, and yet, I'm almost 3 years older than him. And then Vick is shooting up in height also, which means, they'll probably both be taller than me. For some reason, the thought is hilarious to me.

Gale pours me a bowl of cereal and hands me a spoon before sitting next to me. "It's Parcel Day, I think."

"Is it? I thought it was in a week."

"It's today." He says, as Rory sits across from me. Oh, jeez.

"So, Madge," Rory begins,

"Lord help me." I mutter under my breath. My family had always been a bit religious, praying for my mother and such when she was still alive. Even though believing in something of that sort was illegal, we did it anyways.

"When did you start staying here at night? Because I seem to recall that, " I cut him off with a groan and drop my face to Gale's shoulder while he laughs at my embarrassment from this.

Oh, what fun we all have together.

* * *

Parcel Day ends up ruined. All of the food has been eaten by rats, or it's decomposing. Only a small amount is able to be eaten. We don't know what to do with it, because we certainly can't give it to a certain part of the district, the other parts will think we're prejudice. If we don't give it out, it'll get spoiled.

We end up giving it to the Community Home. They have so many underfed children there, it's crazy. I can't stand the thought of starving children, even though the Hawthorne kids, including Gale, were once starving.

All of the children there, in all ages, thank us generously, over and over again. One child catches my eye. She sits alone in the corner, eyes downcast, looking very sad. She must be only seven, not even seven. I drop Gale's hand and nod my head in her direction. I walk over to her and crouch down in front of her.

"Hey." I say quietly and her eyes pop up to look at mine. They're green. That's unusual from District 12. "Do you want something to eat?" She shakes her head. It breaks my heart. I wonder why the poor child is in the Community Home. She must have had parents at some point in her life. Her long mangy black hair falls in front of her face, so I push it back behind her ear, like Gale has done to me several times before.

When the girl looks up again, I smile. "What's your name, sweetie?"

"E-Eva." She whispers to me, eyes going downcast. The name is familiar.

"Well, Eva, I think you should eat something." I hold out a can of applesauce and she stares at it. "What's wrong?" I ask again, and finally, her eyes meet mine, and I find they've been filled with tears.

"I can't."

"And why's that?"

"I'm sad."

"Why?" I gently ask, tipping her chin up do I can see her more clearly.

"I miss my Mommy and Daddy and my sister." Oh. _Oh. Oh dear._ Her family is dead. "My sister went away and then she didn't come back. She was on tv. She was gonna have a baby." My mind thinks back and it's reeling. A girl with green eyes, black hair, so familiar. Then, I remember. There was a girl, a few years back, who looks exactly like this girl here, who was pregnant. I remember it clearly.

But, I had been too focused on someone else I knew in that Games. I had known the male tribute that year. He died in the opening Bloodbath. That was Annie Cresta's games, also. The girl had survived a little longer, until her stomach was slashed open and it was all over. Great, now someone I don't even know will haunt my dreams.

"I'm sorry, Eva." I quietly say and tears slip down her cheeks. "Do you have any other brothers or sisters?"

She nods before pointing to a boy, maybe three years old whom Gale is entertaining for a bit. The little boy looks just like his older sister.

"What's his name?"

"Kai." That's an odd name, but mine's 'Madge' so I can't talk. The boy looks like he doesn't have a care in the world as he plays around, acting as if nothing has happened. He probably doesn't know what's happened to his family. He wasn't even born when his oldest sister died.

"I'll be right back, okay?" I pat her on the knee and she nods, barley as I go to the Community Home leader.

"What happened to the girls parents?" I ask quietly, trying to keep the talking to a minimum.

"Oh, her father died in a mining accident a couple of years back, after the boy was born." She says, gesturing to Kai who's talking animatedly to Gale about something. "The mother died about a year after giving birth to the boy, from pnemonia. They've been here ever since."

"She's sad." I look back over to Eva, who's now fingering the can of applesauce like she might eat it.

"She's been like that. Forced to grow up to quickly." I nod before walking back over to the girl.

"Are you gonna eat that or not?" She looks at me defiently. Then, she opens the can and eats it quickly.

"That's my girl." I say, smiling at her for the first time since we got here. She gives me a tentative smile back. Progress, I think, progress.

* * *

Gale tells me that the younger boy, Kai, doesn't know what's wrong and why they don't have parents. It breaks my heart to wonder what it would be like to not even know where your parents are.

I form a special bond with Eva and Kai. I visit the two of them every once and a while to make sure their doing okay. Eva changes immensly in the few weeks that I do visit them. I learn that she likes to read quite a bit and that her brother is learning how to read at a young age. They're both so sweet to me, it's hard to imagine they lost a sister to the Games.

Kai is only three and is brighter than anyone I know. He's always smiling and giggling and is just a ball of energy. Eva is a bit more reserved but when she does finally begin to break out of her shell, I learn that she can be quite loud. It's amusing to watch them.

We spend immense amount of time with family and friends. Almost everyday, we're spending time with them, not knowing what to do with the whole reaping thing.

When the reaping finally does come around, I can feel myself shaking to the bones. I'm scared for the two people that will have to be reaped, that we know, that we brought this fate on. Gale takes my hand and leads a numb me to the square where whispers follow us like the wind.

Once in the square, Haymitch gives us a curt nod as the three of us mount the stage and prepare. My father gives me a quick hug before solumley reading the Treaty of Treason. I finally glance up and look at the people who may have to be reaped. On the girls side, Posy, Prim, Katniss, Mrs. Everdeen, Hazelle and a girl I don't know. She must be one of Gale's closer friends. On the boys side, Rory, Vick, Peeta, and another one of Gale's friends.

Gale rubs small circles on my hand where he's gripping it tightly, just like Katniss is gripping Prim's shoulders, absolutely hoping that it's not Prim.

Effie comes on the stage with less gusto than she had last year. She dully reaches into the girl's bowl, and just like last year, fear grips my heart as she pulls out the one slip out of the five in there.

Once back to the microphone, she opens it and I'm scared for who will be reaped and what they'll have to face. The square is as slient as it was last year, no one is betting this time.

It's Prim.

Katniss breaks like that and has trouble from preventing herself from screaming. Mrs. Everdeen looks like she might faint right there on the spot. Prim's face is drained of all color and she's shaking already. Slowly, she pries herself from Katniss and slowly takes small steps up to the stage. The peacekeepers meet her and make her go faster up to the stage, and her impending doom.

Once on the stage, she glances back at us, but I drop my eyes, I can't her now.

"Now for the boys." Effie quirks and I sigh inwardly. Who else will I have to watch be killed on television?

Once back to the microphone, she opens the slip, pauses for a moment before reading out a name, dully, I might add. "Peeta Mellark." Oh joy. The two people that hold Katniss together get to go fight on live television. This is not good.

Peeta is walking to this stage, his head down, and from here I can tell how scared he is. Katniss is now shaking. I feel so bad for her, having to lose two people she loves. I don't know if she loves Peeta, or if she'll ever tell him, but they're good for each other.

On the stage, Peeta and Prim shake hands and lock eyes for a moment. Then, it's as if it never happened.

They're being shoved inside to say goodbyes. This year, it's only half and hour of time. That's not enough time, never enough. Even an hour isnt enough time.

* * *

_A/N: Keep an eye on Eva and Kai, they'll be important later on in the story. Also, for the reaping thing: I was considering just doing to Victor's thing but then didn't want too, and then I was considering putting Rory and Prim in there, but that'd be too cruel I think, so it came down to Peeta and Prim. Peeta will also be a major contributer to the story in upcoming chapters, keep that in mind._


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: Oh, how I wish I owned these characters.**

* * *

Gale and I say our own goodbyes to the Hawthornes, Haymitch (who gives us a curt nod) and the Everdeen's after they've finished saying goodbye to Prim and Peeta. I go to talk to Mrs. Everdeen while Gale comforts Katniss, trying to make her calm down.

"She'll be okay. I'll take care of her." I tell Mrs. Everdeen and she turns her head towards me, eyes distant already. Katniss once told me about how her mother became very distant when her father died.

When she speaks, her voice is grave and shaking. "I bet you will. You're aunt was a fighter. You were too. Teach her to be one." I nod as tears quickly fill my eyes. I embrace her quickly before going to talk to Katniss.

"What am I going to do without either of them?" Then I see it. The look in her eyes. She does love Peeta. Maybe she doesn't know it, or she does but doesn't want to say anything yet, but she loves him.

"Who says that they're going anywhere?" I lock eyes with her and silently make a promise, one that I must keep. I must get both of them out alive. Maybe not for me, maybe not for Gale, but for everyone. Everyone loves Prim, the square seemed depressed when she was reaped. And for Peeta... He just deserves to live. He's never done anything bad in his entire life, and he honestly can't harm a soul.

I also say good-bye to Eva and Kai, because I've grown quite fond of the children. Kai grabs onto my waist and I laugh pulling him up to hug him.

"Where are you goin, Madge?" He asks, eyes wide and glowing.

"Somewhere in a far away place, that's quite colorful!" I tell him trying to not to let my worry out. I don't tell him that the Capitol is a deathtrap for tributes and mentors alike. Kai laughs before dropping down and going to say hello to Gale. I crouch in front of Eva.

"You're coming back, right?" I know she's thinking about her sister coming back when she went to the Games.

"Of course I'm coming back, silly!" I tap her on the nose and she giggles trying to squirm out of the hug I give her. "I'll see you later, okay?" She nods before I ruffle her hair and stand up. She giggles again before going to get her brother. The community home leader comes over.

"They begged to come say hello to you two." She laughs while I watch on, amused at Gale and Eva talking. I know Gale has always wanted children, and so do I, just not yet. Gale knows just how to make the kids laugh and it just good with children. He catches me looking and gives me a quirky smile as I smile back.

"They're good kids. Hard to belive what Eva's been through."

"Hard to believe what anyone in this District's been through." She huffs and I shift as the train whistle blows, telling us it's time to board before the tributes get on. "I'll take care of the kids, until you come back. I'm sure they'll be excited." She laughs again and leads the children away who wave to us quite a bit before they're gone.

Effie is no where to be seen; she must be with Peeta and Prim. Once we're on the train and away from prying cameras, Gale scoops me into a hug. "You're good with kids, you know that?" He murmurs in my ear.

"I deal with you, don't I?" I murmur back and he lets out a loud laugh.

"I believe the correct term is that you deal with Rory." He smirks and I laugh again.

"No, I'm pretty sure I meant you." He shoves me lightly as Peeta and Prim walk in to the train, both with red eyes. The happiness of the moment disperses immediately. The sight of Peeta trying to comfort Prim almost sends me over the edge. Effie comes in, shouting something about showing them their rooms.

"Well, Peeta and Primrose, if you could-." Prim makes a squeak.

"Prim. C-call me Prim." Effie gushes over her. I get the feeling she likes Prim more than she liked me last year.

"Well, _Prim_, that's a beautiful name! Follow me, you two!" She scurries down the hall and I can hear her heels clicking down the hall. Peeta glances back at us and smiles a watery smile and follows Prim and Effie down the hall to their rooms.

"So.. Now what?" Gale asks me. I guess there's only one thing to do.

"We learn to be mentors."

* * *

About an hour later, Peeta and Prim are back in the dining room with us, staring at awe at the food. Prim doesn't seem to know where to start on it all, but eventually tries the lamb soup. After a few moments of silence, Effie, once again, breaks the silence.

"So, _Prim_, you're Gale's cousin, correct?" I can tell Effie's already fond of Prim. And yes, while we were in the Games, Katniss and Prim we're said to be Gale's cousins, to prevent any confusion about him and Katniss.

Prim nods quickly while she sips from her water. Her eyes are still a bit tinted red and her hair is still in the braids that she wore for the reaping. She hasn't even changed yet. She's probably an example of what I looked like.

Silence resumes until Peeta speaks. "This place is so much different from home." Prim nods quickly and Gale laughs.

"That was my inital thought, too. Wait till we're in the Capitol, it gets better." Effie is too naïve to understand sarcasm, Prim's only thirteen so she just smiles and nods, but Peeta catches the sarcasm. He shoots me a questioning look but I shake my head quickly and focus back on my plate.

Effie and Gale attempt to make conversation but then give up when no one but me tries to answer.

After, we go to watch the reaping replays. From District 1, an about twenty man year old and a forty year old women. I don't know who they're related too. No one interesting from District 2. District 3, though, is quite a shocker. A ten-year old girl and a fifty year old man. District 7, a pregnant women and her husband. I can see the small rings on their fingers. District 8, a trembling thirteen year old. District 11, fraternal twins about 17. Prim and Peeta. No one else quite intersting.

Still, I'm shocked that a ten year old, and a pregnant women and her husband are going in. The thought of the pregnant women reminds me of Eva and Kai's sister, the sister Kai never got to meet.

Peeta and Prim look at Gale and I, staring for a moment before I speak.

"You two should get some sleep. You will have a physically draining day tomorrow." I shoot Gale a look and he smirks at me; we both know how draining it is.

"What do you exactly mean by 'physically draining'? Peeta questions, leaning forward on knees looking at us. It's all I can do to not laugh at that.

"You don't want to know, Peeta." Gale tells him and he accepts that answer.

"Night." He says standing up and walking out of the room. Effie follows soon after. Prim remains sitting on the coach, knees pulled up to her chest, tears welling in her bright blue eyes. As I will be mentoring Prim, Gale stands up and stretches.

"I think I'll be going now." He kisses the top of my head gently. "See you in a bit." He mutters to me and I nod.

I move over to Prim and throw my arm around her shoulders. She caves and tears stream down her face quickly. Her quiet cries sound loud in my ears as I try to calm her down. The poor thing, only thirteen, having to be forced through this misery. My heart and mind aches for the girl, for any child that has to go through it, including myself. It's a horrible thing, the Games. The pain that it inflicts on everyone, or the scars that are given to the people who survive the hellhole.

"Shh," I tell her gently, "You're going to be okay, you hear me?"

"I don't want to die, Madge." She chokes out while wiping her tears from her pale face.

"You won't, Prim, I promise you won't. I won't let you, and neither will Gale." And that's true. We won't let her die, nor Peeta. We're in a pickle.

"W-what about P-peeta?" She stutters out and I sigh.

"We're going to do everything we can, Prim." She accepts that answer and stands, wiping her tears again and wobbling off to her room. I sigh deeply and run my hands through my hair. Will this mentoring buisness ever get easier?

Back in the room I share with Gale, I find he's still awake and pacing across the room over and over again. He stops when I close the door. "She okay?" He asks and I nod while rummaging in the drawers for something to change into.

"What was wrong?" He questions while walking into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"You know." Of course he does, we both knew the pain of it just a year ago.

* * *

Later, laying in bed with Gale's arm around me, I bring up something that has come to mind several times in the past year. "Have you ever wondered what would have happened if Rory wasn't reaped? Or if someone completely different instead of me went in and Rory was still reaped?"

His muscles tense around me. "I perfer not to think about the alternative, Madge." I turn so I can look him in the eyes. I know what would've happened if Rory wasn't reaped. I wouldn't be here to talk about it.

"And why not?"

"I probably wouldn't have volunteered. At the time, I was protecting Rory. But as the Games went on, it was more you than Rory. And if someone else besides you was reaped, and Rory still was, I still would've volunteered, but the other tribute probably wouldn't have mattered as much as you did."

I think on that for a moment. "What are you implying exactly..?" I raise an eyebrow and he grins, looking me right in the eye.

"I probably wouldn't have fallen in love with them." I smile before pressing my lips to his quickly and he chuckles between our lips. "What, that shocking to you?"

"I just never thought I'd be here, a victor of the Hunger Games, in love with you."

"I find that offensive." Gale smirks at me quickly to let me know he's just messing with me.

"You know I love you." I tell him and he kisses my forehead once more.

"I know. I just like to hear you say it." He kisses me again and that's how I fall asleep: with Gale's arms around me and the happy thought in a time of desperate need that someone loves me.

* * *

The next morning comes with quite a surprise. Effie bangs on the door yelling at us to get up before she moves on to Peeta and Prim.

"Too early." I groan into Gale's chest and he laughs. After weeks of being able to wake up when we wanted, being awoken at seven a.m. sharp is not a lot of fun. He pulls me closer to him as we both try to fall back asleep, but with no avail.

Effie comes pounding on the door, again. "Get up you two! It's big, big, big day!"

"When is it not a big day with her?" Gale murmurs in my ear and a bubble of laughter escapes me. He pokes my side and I squirm out of his reach and try to slid out of the bed. Keyword: Try. Gale wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me back.

"Gale!" I spout out and he chuckles at me struggling. Finally, he does let go and I take a quick shower before we go out there.

Peeta is already out there, staring at the food. "You know, you can eat it." He chuckles at me.

"I don't know where to start!" It's a big change, going from District 12 to the Capitol. "There's so much of it."

"Yeah. Try to stock up, it helps." Gale says from behind me as Prim walks in the room looking quite tired. There are circles under her eyes and her hair is an absolute mess. It looks like she didn't sleep well at all. Peeta looks better, but not by much.

Prim stares at the food for a moment, jaw dropped, and takes what Peeta took, including the hot chocolate. Her face lights up in a grin after she sips at it. She drinks the whole cup of it before she even tries her food.

Gale gets right to the point. "So, today, you're going to meet your stylists. Don't worry, they're nice. The prep teams are another story, but it'll be fine."

"Do what they say, and you should be fine." I add as Effie comes in the door, looking quite excited.

"We're almost there! Prim and Peeta, come here and stand by the window so you can see it. Once you're finished that it." She motions to the food still on their plates. "Oh, and Gale and Madge, President Snow would like to see you at his mansion before the Opening Ceremonies."

My heart drops to my stomach.

* * *

_A/N: Nothing really to be explained, I guess. Oh! I got 50 followers! Thanks for all of the support, it means soo much when people read the story and like it! Thoughts? Complaints? Favorite parts?_


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: Sigh. School is killing me.**

* * *

In an instant, my throat is closing up and my eyes are widening. Peeta flashes me a look but I don't respond. I'm too worried about our meeting with President Snow. I don't know what he wants and don't want to know. All of these scenarios are flashing through my mind, one by one, each worse than the one before. I'm fighting a relapse right now and it's becoming hard to breathe. My head is spinning completely and I cannot think straight.

Gale's arm slips around my waist as he leads me out of the dining car quickly and into the sitting room.

"Madge, breathe." He tells me but his voice is muffled and everything is blurry. He cups my face gently. "Breathe, please." I don't respond, scenarios are still going through my mind as fast as the train is going. He presses his lips to mine and slowly, I learn how to breathe again. He rests his forehead on mine. "Good. It's gonna be okay, Madge. I swear it."

I can only nod, my voice is gone. What if we did something bad? What if he's not happy with us, scratch that, he's never happy with us. When is he happy with any victor?

Gale is silent also, both of us contemplating what he wants. Quickly, he leads me back to the dining car where Peeta, Prim and Effie are looking at us, suspiciously. Prim goes to say something but Peeta taps her arm, basically telling her to shut up.

After a few moments of silence, you can begin to hear the cheering of the Capitol. Gale tells our tributes to go stand by the window and wave to them. They go, but grudigingly. I can tell by the way they slowly stalk to the window.

The train stops eventually and Effie arranges us in the same way she did last year. Her, Prim, Peeta, then Gale then me. Gale is not happy with it and switches me with him. Ever since the Victory Tour and the issue with that man, he's been cautious about putting me out of his line of vision. Effie scoffs at us for a bit about it. Finally, we're allowed outside and Effie leads us, occasionally squealing at someone in the crowd. It's a miracle I've lasted a whole year with her.

Once inside, Prim and Peeta are whisked off and we get to say hello to Cinna and Portia before we go to the President's mansion. Cinna gives me a great hug once I see him.

"So, how's my favorite victor?" He asks, smiling at me.

"I'm the only victor you know." My voice comes out shaky and cracked and he looks at me weird before asking what I've been up too.

"Normal stuff, I guess. Gale and I have to go to President Snow's manison before the Opening Ceremonies. Speaking of the Opening Ceremonies, can you tell me what you're planning?"

"No, no, I can't. It will ruin the surprise. But it will be spectacular!" His eyes glisten and I laugh.

"Better than last year?" I ask and he smirks.

"I don't know. People will have to decide that. Now shoo, I have to finish for Prim." He shoves me out the door and I go looking for Gale. About three seconds later, I run smack into him. He smiles a bit before his face morphs into a frown.

"There's a car outside for us." I nod slowly and he takes my hand and leads me downstairs to where President Snow's car is waiting.

* * *

The trip to his mansions is unpleaseant. I spend the whole time fidgeting, trying to calm my nerves. Gale tries to tell me to calm down a bit but I can't. Nerves are just going sky-high today and it's driving everyone crazy, I think.

Once at the mansion, we're lead down hallways and hallways of incintrict design. It's a miracle we don't get lost. We're sent right in and almost immediately I feel like vomiting. The smell of blood overwhelms my nostrils and I nearly fall over. President Snow smiles sickly up at us as we take the seats across from him. We stare at each other for a bit, Gale tracing small circles on my hand where he's holding it. It's what I focus on while I try to breathe.

"So," President Snow begins, and I'm bracing myself for the worst when he asks, "would you like some tea?" I'm sure we both looked shocked about it because he chuckles slowly and coldly. "What, I don't bite." Speak for yourself, Snow. He waves in a peacekeeper who places tea on the table. Gale and I both take a cup, just we make sure not to actually drink it.

He sips from his drink for a bit, his lips becomming redder and redder with each sip. I'm disgusted. "Now, we need to talk. I see that you have not taken up my offer." I know what he's talking about. He's talking about me having a child. I feel even more sick.

Gale recovers first. "Sir, with all due respect, Madge is only seventeen. It's not even the legal age in District 12 to have children. And we're still engaged."

"Well, I realize that the legal age is 19, but aren't you 19?" He asks, gesturing to Gale while sipping again from his tea.

"Yes sir, but-"

"Then it shouldn't be a problem now should it?"

"Sir, I'm sure everyone would prefer-"

"Do you really want to argue with me?" President Snow finally asks and Gale falls silent, his jaw clenched and face as hard as stone. His grip on my hand is causing me to loose circulation. "Now, it would be a good idea not to argue with me. Remember Miss Undersee: I see everything that happens, and who knows what's going on in District 12 right now?"

He's got a point there. We really have no idea what's happening. Oh, now we're in trouble. I don't want to be pregnant at the age of seventeen. There are plenty of people for that, in fact it reminds me of Eva's sister. She was pregnant when she went into the Games. I don't want to have to deal with the symptons, plus my father would probably disown me.

I didn't realize that while I was in my thoughts, Gale had stood and left the room, dragging me with him. He doesn't stop until we're in the car that will take us back to the Training Center.

He just walked out on the President. President Snow. Crap.

* * *

I don't say anything about it, he'll surely be hearing about it later tonight. He just walked out on President Snow, for God's sake! He's gonna do the worst things to us because of it.

I don't say anything about it as we go down to the chariot place. Prim and Peeta are already down there, standing very close to the chariot. They're in tight black jumpsuits, much like us last year. Something's different though, I can't place it. Prim smiles at me, flashing her newly white teeth.

Peeta shifts uncomfortably. "You were right about the physically draining part. The prep team are like peacocks." I laugh as they go to stand on the chariot. Cinna winks at me as Gale and I leave to go to where mentors/victors are stationed.

We make up just upstairs as District 1 comes out. They're covered in jewels with barely there costumes, just like last year. District 2 is nothing better. In District 3, the little girl looks tiny. A lot of people look the same-ish. It surprises me.

"Why do they all look the same?" I ask Gale and he shrugs.

"I dunno. I was wondering that too." I puts his arm around my shoulder as District 11 comes out. "Here we go."

As soon as they enter, something happens. For a minute, I think they're completly engulfed in flames, until I realize, that they are. They're ingullfed for about three seconds before the flame dies down and they're-

"What is that!?" We hear a mentor shout from behind us and I'm thinking the exact same thing. Then, I gasp dispite of myself. Prim is in a golden floor-length dress that shimmers every time she moves, with a headress of fire leaping around her golden locks, behind her is a trail of smoke and ash and fire that lands on the ground and sparks when it hits the concrete. Peeta has the same type of headress on, except more manly. He still has the black suit on but he's glowing like fire. The fire flickers across his body and ocassionally sparks up.

"They look amazing!" I shout out and Gale laughs as the crowd shouts and hollers at them. This is just spectacular. I can't help but smile and laugh and for once, forget about how horrible everything is going to be in a few days with Peeta and Prim in the Games.

Their chariot comes to a stop but they stay on fire. President Snow does his little talk and I know he's looking at them. I cringe involuntarily. Gale sqieezes my shoulder. As they ride into where the chariots will stay, they burst into flames once more.

I can't help think that though they were amazing, bad things are to come for them.

* * *

Once downstairs, where the chariots are, we find that Prim and Peeta are actually being congratulated by some of the other tributes this year, including District 7 and District 4. I find it a bit odd that they are actually talking to them, as they _literally_ outshown them.

We walk over quickly, afraid that they aren't handling it, until we find that isn't the case. They're talking to them like they would me or Gale, so completely normal. Peeta flashes me a look that I took to say: When can we sleep? I nearly laugh at how desperate he looks for a good nap.

We shoo the tributes away before Effie attacks Prim and Peeta telling them how wonderful they did and such. It makes me smile how Prim can deal with Effie and how Peeta watches out for Prim even though nothing can happen to them- Yet.

Upstairs, Peeta and Prim guack at everything as Effie tells them everything there is to know about what's here. It's not until dinner that something interesting happens.

When the avoxes walk into the room, Gale nearly chokes on his drink and I whack him on the back a few times and I look at the avoxes. One was here last year, the girl with the red hair. This time, though, there's another one with red hair. He looks oddly familar. I can't put a name or place to him, but I know I've seen him before.

Gale doesn't eat much after that, occasionally pushing his food around on his plate and staring at it. I don't know what to think of it. Usually, it's me who pushes the food around on the plate, not Gale.

Finally, he says something. "So, tomorrow, you two are going into training. Don't worry, it's not bad. Just learn something new, and you should be fine. Prim, stay away from First-Aid, don't show your skills in that." She nods respectfully. "And Peeta, don't show your strenght. Learn how to use a weapon, it can be helpful."

And don't think you can't kill anyone because that worked out just _fine_ for me. I know that Prim couldn't hurt a fly. Peeta probably can't hurt a fly. What are we going to do about this? It's nearly impossible to force people to kill someone, it may not be in their nature of it.

Mentoring is going to be harder than I thought.

* * *

_A/N: Well that was a wirlhwind of stuff all mushing together. Sorry if it was confusing. This has taken me days. School is being blegh and loading on the homework plus I'm barely passing math. But, expect the next chapter soon._

_And I must say, I'm happy so many people like the story! Over 200 reviews?! I nearly squealed, y'all are the best! Also, one of my lovely readers, RisingStar19 is writing a story and if y'all could pop on over and read it, that would be great! Again, sorry if it's confusing!_


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: Long chapter for y'all! A lot of dialogue near the end.**

* * *

Later, after we've sent Peeta and Prim to bed, Gale brings me up to the roof. It's the only place we can talk now without the Capitol hearing us. We sit down on the old swing thing up there and sit in silence. I pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them while resting on Gale.

"Why'd you walk out of him?" I lift my head from his shoulder and turn to him. He sighs before rubbing his face.

"I just got mad, Madge. You do realize what he was trying to do, right?" He asks me and I sigh. It seems to be what everyone is doing. Sighing.

"Yes. I've known what he was trying to do. And now, he's just going to make it worse and probably kill a few people." Then, it hits me. The whole life of a victor after the Games. I thought I may have figured it out, but now, I understand it completely. You make Deals with the Devil to protect the people you love. If you make the Devil unhappy, he kills people you love. So, in order to protect them, you make a Deal with the Devil, even if it's what you don't want to do. After you win, the Devil is in control of your life. For the rest of it.

"Don't think like that, Madge." He whispers to me.

"You know it's true, Gale. When I didn't do what he wanted, he killed my mother. What is he going to do now?" He doesn't answer, but when he does, it chills me to the bone.

"Whatever he wants, to cause us to break."

"I already have broken. I've been broken." I tell him and he shakes his head and I nod back. "Yes, I am. Don't deny it. You know it's true." He wraps his arms around me and rests his chin on top of my head.

"I haven't been entirely truthful with you, Madge. When President Snow... When President Snow came to see me back in District 12, he," He takes a deep breath and it ruffles my hair a bit, "he not only tried to, well, you know, but he told me that there was a lot of unrest in the districts. That they were either angered by the two victors thing, or they were completely overjoyed by it. I didn't know why he was telling me it, until just a few weeks ago. We were supposed to contain the unrest that everyone is going through. That's why he's been trying to get you pregnant. To see if that will calm it. They can't have a rebellion leader pregnant, can they?"

I choke. "Rebellion leader?!" I disregard anything else Gale just said and focus on the rebellion part.

"Yeah." He seems unfazed. "Since we both got out, some districts have been calling us the Leaders of the Rebellion." I let that sink in. People are calling us, me, the rebellion leaders. All I did was kill a few people in order to get out. Gale brought up the berries. So, technically, it's his fault we're in this mess. But I went along with it.

"But, I'm-we're... Just us, Gale. It's not like we asked for any of this to happen. It's not like we asked to be reaped or thrown into an arena together." I take a breath from my rant and Gale speaks.

"I know, Madge. We have to do something about it. We can't let them keep sending children be sent off to their deaths. How many people have died in the past 74 years? Yeah, too many to count. How many twelve year olds have been sent in?" He continues when I've tried to respond. "We have to stop it." He finally tells me and this time, I don't disagree. The point about the twelve year olds made me re-think the whole rebellion idea.

* * *

Prim and Peeta leave the next morning for their first day of training. Effie goes to get sponsors. Gale and I, on the other hand, go down to the mentor room where we will watch the majority of the Games. I'm a bit nervous to meet the other mentors. Some are drunks, like Haymitch, some are addicted to drugs, some are just plain crazy. Then there are the ones who act like everything's okay but it's really not.

I'm tapping my foot in the elevator and it annoys Gale, so I just do it more.

"Will you stop that?" He growls out at me but he's grinning all the same.

When we walk in, I'm a bit shocked. You know the saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger? That's not the case for Victors. The case for us is 'what doesn't kill you makes you mentally damaged for the rest of your life'. It's clear when you look at the Victors. They're drained, and tired and usually ready to quit. You can tell what horrors they've seen and what they've been through just by looking in their eyes.

We stand there for a minute, looking awkward, not knowing what to do. That is, until Finnick Odair himself comes up.

"Well, if it isn't the two lovebirds!" I feel my face heat up quickly and Finnick smirks at me. "Anyways, I can bug you about that whole ordeal later, but now, there's some people you probably should meet." I flashes me a toothy smile and turns quickly. I look quizzically at Gale and he nods, pulling me along behind Finnick.

First, we meet Cecelia, the nice Victor from District 8. Her daughter is in the Games. Then, we meet Mags, the old women who won maybe the 10th Hunger Games, or something. She speaks in garbled speech and I can't understand a word of it, but I can tell she's kind. Just the way she looks out for Finnick. I'm assuming that he was mentored by her, or something. We also meet Seeder and Chaff, the Victors from District 11. Seeder nods as if to say 'thanks.". Also, Beetee and Wiress. They seem nice enough. Turns out that the ten year old girl was Wiress's neice. She's fiddling with some small chip. Finnick mutters under his breath that it allows them to talk about anything without the Capitol hearing. Beetee smiles at , we meet Johanna Mason.

She's dangerous, I'll say that. Having killed nearly all of the Career alliance in her Games, she's not one I'd want to get on the bad side of. Her feet are already propped up on the table where the computers lie for her tributes. She looks at home here. Oh, she's playing with a butter knife.

She sees us and her face lights up with amusement. "Oh this'll be fun." She crackles at us and stands up looking at Gale and I. "Oh, yes, this is going to be a lot of fun."

"Johann, don't scare them, yet." Finnick muses, adding the yet as an effect.

"I'm assuming that since they've seen the _worst horrors possible _in the arena they'd be able to handle a few jokes." She huffs, putting emphasis on some of the words. The arena is a touchy subject for me and Gale knows it. He squeezes my hand again, pulling me slightly closer.

We finish talking to Johanna, with quite a few jokes headed our way, and Finnick shows us where we'll be looking at the Games with our tributes. In the little room, there's monitors of their heartbeats and such. Two screens sitting on the desk. A couple beds to sleep in. All of it's quite complex, and I know that even if I try, I won't be able to figure out what half of the fancy buttons mean.

Back out in the main room, there are several couches and one giant screen for viewing when the Games start. After that, we can either stay in our little rooms or out here. Around lunch time, we get glimpses of what's happening in the training room. The careers are hacking away at dummies. Peeta is helping Prim attempt to throw a spear. They quickly find out that that is no good; she nearly hits someone walking by.

"Looks like you last year." Gale murmurs in my ear as we're sitting on the couch. Finnick is sprawled out on the couch next to Gale and Cecelia is next to me, keeping an eye on her daughter, whose name is Juniper. She looks like her mother, dark hair, hazel eyes. It really is a shame that most of these people I'm sitting with will have to suffer loses in the next few weeks.

The next few training days go by quickly. Prim excels at a slingshot. Peeta does well with camouflage. They both also know plants very well. That will help. Peeta can make a descent snare capable of catching a few animals. Prim is actually very quick on her feet.

The day of their private sessions comes quickly. Gale and I can't seem to sit still the entire day. Finally, when Prim comes up, we practically jump on her to figure out what happened.

"I just used the plants and the slingshot really. They looked pretty bored, near the end." She tells us before going to change.

"At least she actually said what happened, where you," He pokes my stomach, "wouldn't talk." He grins at me and I giggle.

"I threw a knife at them. Not like I wanted to talk about it." He laughs again before giving me a one armed hug and leading me to the sitting room where we wait as Prim comes back out and Peeta comes up.

"What happened?"

He shrugs before collapsing on the seat across from Prim. "Threw some stuff around. Used the sword. Plants." He rubs his face. He looks very tired. I've heard him at least once screaming for Katniss in the middle of the night. I feel bad for them. Peeta loves her, I know he does. And I know Katniss does, even if she doesn't.

Effie comes in the room squealing as the tv flickers to life. Cinna and Portia come in and sit on either side of me and Gale.

Ceaser starts off with a few jokes and then gets right down to business. The people in District 1 and 2 do fairly well. The tiny girl from 3 gets a six, impressive for her size and age. Cecilia's daughter pulls a five. The twins from 11 both pull sevens also. Finally, Prim is up.

"And little Primrose Everdeen from District 12... an impressive eight!" Peeta shouts and hugs her quickly. Effie squeals. Gale and I look at each other. Prim didn't get that eight. They're making her a target and I'm pretty sure they're going to do the same with Peeta.

"And lastly, Peeta Mellark of District 12... A nine!" Not good. Not good, not good! We act like everything's fine and how that's an amazing score. That is, until Ceaser starts talking again.

"Oh, and, why this is amazing!" He says reading ahead on his paper. "We have wonderful news from our two latest Victors, Madge Undersee and Gale Hawthorne!" Gale glances at me and raises his eyebrow as Peeta does the same. Ceaser continues. "They are expecting a baby girl!"

My jaw falls to the floor.

Effie is squealing again, Prim is smiling, Cinna and Portia are staring at me in awe, and Peeta looks down right shocked, but I can't process any of it, nor do I hear any of it. I'm standing without my brain really processing what's going on as I'm leaving the room and going to the roof without even noticing that I'm slumped to the ground leaning up against the ledge, too shocked to even realize what's going on.

I was just announced pregnant. I'm not, though! I know I'm not!

It's not until Gale's lifting me up off of the ground and setting me on the edge of the ledge and tipping my chin up that I really start to understand what just happened.

"I'm not pregnant." I choke out; I need to get the words out, to have them confirmed. "I'm not, Gale."

He moves my hair out of my face. "I know, Madge. I know you're not. We would've figured it out a long time ago. Seen the signs. We haven't done anything, Madge." He tells me gently, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me tight.

"Then why did he say it?" He sighs before resting his forehead on mine.

"I don't know. Could be any reason." I know he's lying to me. I can tell. And he knows I know. "It's because I walked out on him and dragged you with me. That's our punishment for it. My fault, I think." He finishes dryly and I shake my head.

"It's both of our faults, Gale. You can't take all of the blame for it. It was my fault too."

"How on earth was it your fault?" He says while picking me up, bridal style, and carrying me over to the swing that we sit in a lot. He sits down slowly, resting me up against the arm rest on the old wooden swing. He allows me to rest my legs on the other side of him as I grip his hand tightly. "How was it your fault, Madge? I pulled the berries, technically caused all of this mess."

"Will you stop beating yourself up about it, please? It's not a reason to beat yourself up over."

"Not a reason? Madge, who knows what everyone at home is thinking." My thoughts drop short as I think of that. People are probably nuts. Hazelle and my father.. Oh, Lord, I'm going to be stuck in my room for eternity. God only knows what Hazelle's going to do to Gale.

"They're gonna kill us. My dad's gonna kill you." I finally force out and Gale chuckles.

"If my mother leaves him anything left to kill. He'll probably have to dig me up or something." I know the sentence was to cheer me up, but it doesn't. Gale could've been dead in that arena. He senses something's wrong. "I was kidding Madge. She'll probably lock me up until the sun explodes. Which will be in forever."

I finally crack a small smile and just begin to think about the taunting I'll suffer from Finnick and Johanna, whom I've come to know very well. I know them more than I actually want to.

"I'm dreading going down to the Victor's room."

"You and me both." He mutters, squeezing my hand. "We're going to endure taunting."

"Maybe they won't bother us?" I offer weakly and he shakes his head.

"You're seventeen assumed to be pregnant. They're gonna bother us." He tells me and I sigh. Great. Just what I need. Lovely.

"Why does everything happen to us?"

"Everything happens for a reason, Madge. Maybe this will be good luck. Maybe it will contain the rebellion for a bit just so we can get Prim and Peeta out of there alive. Maybe it will make sense later. For now, let's hope people forget about it."

"No ones going to forget about this. It's the biggest shock since they said two people could win. And it's not like they're going to do that again, look where it got them?" I say gesturing between us while he laughs.

"Yeah, this was the biggest mistake of their lives." He concludes while laughing. "They're not going to pull that one again for a while."

"More like forever." I smirk and he smiles while looking down at our hands.

"I'm glad they did though. Or neither of us would be here."

"What do you mean?"

"I honestly don't think either of us would've survived without each other." It's probably true. We've had this conversation before. I wouldn't have made it to the Victory Tour. He's my rock, the only thing that keeps me grounded on the earth. Without him, I'd either be long gone or dead. I know it's true, I've tried to kill myself. I have the scars to prove it.

"It's true." I whisper and he squeezes my hand again. Pretty soon, I'm dozing off and I feel Gale scoop me up again and carry me back downstairs to our room. He mutters something to people still in the sitting room, probably Portia and Cinna. Once back in our room, he sets me down on the bed gently and takes off my shoes before putting me under the covers. There's some scuffling around until he climbs in next to me and wraps his arm around my waist and pulling me closer. My back is against his chest and my knees next to his.

He buries his face into my hair and his breath tickles my neck. Then he speaks, so softly it's a miracle that my half asleep form picks it up. It's so soft that I doubt the voice recorders that we know are in here could pick it up. "I love you, Madge. So damn much. I'm not going to let any of them hurt you again, ever. They aren't going to cause you any more pain. I'm going to get us through it, I swear it."

* * *

_A/N: Hope that made sense to y'all. It was longer than my latest chapters. Sort of a filler. I hate doing those. Anyways, chapter updates may be later because my grades kinda plummeted (I have no clue why) and my parents got a bit mad and told me I had to get rid of distractions like the computer and my phone. Not yet though. Just telling y'all that to make sure you know that I'm not abandoning it. If the next chapter is a filler again, sorry, it's just coming to a point where I have to make a final decision on what's going to happen. I have two very different ideas and I have to choose. Review!_


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: Possibly another filler. Extra long today!**

* * *

The next morning, I wake up, and instantly know something's wrong. All night I had been tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable. Every few minutes I'd either get uncontrollably cold or it'd turn blazing hot in the room. My head is pounding, my throat hurts and the room is spinning.

Gale shakes me awake and I groan clutching my head and rolling onto my back, which just causes more pain. Any movement or sound makes my head throb.

"Madge? Are you okay?" I attempt to wave off the question, but that fails because Gale can read me like a book. "What's wrong?" He props himself up on one elbow and looks down at me, brushing hair from my face.

"My head hurts, my throat hurts and-" I'm cut off as another wave of pain hits me and I moan in pain as I try to bury my face in a pillow. Gale prevents me from that by turning me again and resting his hand on my forehead.

"You are a little warm, too."

"How can you tell?" My voice comes out scratchy and I cough for a few seconds.

"When you grow up in the Seam with three younger siblings and no dad, you learn how to tell temperature pretty quickly." He keeps his voice quieter than he normally would. "Tell you what. I'm going to go talk to Cinna really quickly and see if he has anything, okay? I'll be right back." He climbs out of the bed and presses a kiss to my forehead quickly. Even that causes pain.

He's gone for maybe five minutes and in that time all I can really feel is _pain_. When he finally does come back, he's holding a glass of some orange liquid and holds it out to me. It tastes absolutely nasty going down but the pain eases a bit on my head. I feel like I can breathe again.

"I think you're sick, Madge." Gale says as he sits down on the side of the bed and forces me back down when I try to sit up. "Just relax for a minute will you?"

I huff and he grins at my uncomfortablness of having to lay here. "But shouldn't we get up to help them? They have interviews today." My voice is still scratchy and I can tell that Gale is really thinking about keeping me here all day.

"But you're sick..."

"I am not sick!" I cross my arms and despite his protests I sit up so I can be at his height. I'm not leaving him to have to work with both Peeta and Prim when I very well could be helping. "It's just a cold, Gale. I'm fine!" I protest again but then dissolve into a fit of coughing. Gale pulls me to his chest and allows me to cough, slowly rubbing my back.

"You are sick, Madge. I don't want it to get worse." I finish coughing and he releases me.

"At least let me get up today. You can force me to sleep as much as you want when the Games start." That satisfies him. I don't want to watch it, he probably doesn't want me to watch it either, so it's a win-win situation for the both of us.

I stand, and then nearly fall over. The room is slightly spinning again. I clutch Gale's shoulder as I regain my balance. The room slowly comes back into focus as I blink.

"Madge, are you sure..?"

"Yes." I hiss at him as I slowly cross the room to the wardrobe. I grab whatever clothes are at the top of it and hobble to the bathroom. I know Gale's trying hard not to laugh at the state of me.

After I've come out, I find that Gale's still waiting for me. That's sweet, I would probably have to use the wall as my guide to the dining room if Gale wasn't going to be there.

He links his hand with mine and slowly walks to the dining room with me. My head doesn't hurt as much, and my throat as considerably gotten better, but the room is still slightly fuzzy.

Once in the dining room, the lights are very bright, they seem that they're brighter than normal, and I have to blink several times to get used to it again. When everything finally comes back into focus, I can see that everyone else is in the room, looking at me. Great.

I cough a few times as Gale sits me down in a chair. I don't eat much that morning, nothing looks good except for toast, so I nibble on that for a while.

"What's wrong, Madge?" Prim asks me, looking worried. In the past few days she's opened up to me, she's like a younger sister now.

"I'm fine, just a little tired, that's all." My façade is ruined when I dissolve into another coughing fit.

Effie squeals next. "Oh, it must be from the baby, am I right?" I groan inwardly. Of course she brings that up now. Right when I would really like to forget about that whole thing, she brings it up. And of course she brings it up when I don't feel well.

I catch Cinna's eye and he raises an eyebrow as to ask, 'Are you really pregnant?' I shake my head and his tensed shoulders relax. I hadn't realized how this was going to affect him until now.

I fiddle with the bread for a little and then lose my appetite. Gale looks like he's going to scold him for not eating, when Effie says that she's going to take Prim for a bit. I feel sympathetic for the girl; four hours of Effie. It was pretty painful for me. High heels probably will be the death of me. Since Prim is going with Effie, then Peeta is going with Gale then that means...

"You." Gale points to me. "Go lay down. You're sick. I'll get you when it's time for you to see Prim, okay?" I groan before shakily standing up and wobbling to our room.

* * *

I'd like to say that I got a wonderful sleep with the absence of nightmares, but I'd be lying. I wake up thrashing around dreaming that Prim and Peeta were being hacked apart by the people for District 1. And when I say hacked apart, I literally mean hacked apart. It was gruesome.

Gale comes to get me and I pretend I've had a wonderful sleep and I feel better even though I didn't sleep and my head is pounding and I don't feel better. He thinks I do, or at least I assume he thinks it.

I go to get Prim and find her hobbling around on her toes with heels on. She looks frustrated and Effie keeps telling her to try again.

"Honestly, Effie, the girl won't be in five-inch tall heels. I can tell you that." I groan out and Effie shoots me a look but let's Prim out of the heels. She slips back on her shoes and rubs her ankles quickly before we all walk back to the dining room for lunch.

"Do you feel better?" Prim asks when we sit down at the table.

"My head still hurts, but I'm fine." Lie. My throat hurts and I feel miserable.

"That's good!" She chirps while digging into a sandwich. I pick at mine. Gale and Peeta come back in and Peeta doesn't even touch his food. Gale tries to coax me to eat, but my hearts not in it. I just don't feel good. The pounding headache is not helping the fact that the Games start tomorrow.

Wait, what? Tomorrow? No, that can't be right. But it is...

And with that I completly lose my appetite and push the plate away. Gale gives me look and I shake my head. I can't and will not eat anymore. There is no way that Gale can force me to eat now.

Eventually, everyone else finishes and I take Prim to the roof, where we can possibly talk.

"So..." She begins fiddling with her hands and then looking up at me, blue meeting blue.

"So for your interview... Just be yourself. Disreguard anything Effie told you."

She smiles and then frowns. "But what if they don't like me?"

"Prim, you are probably the most likeable person in the world. There's no way anyone could not like you." She smiles again and I weakly smile, but my head hurts again so I blink and regain focus on the room.

We sit for a little, talking about her interview, then Prim speaks tentatively. "Madge?"

"Yeah, Prim?"

"What's the arena like?"

I hesitate. "Do you want the truth, or what the Capitol wants you to believe?"

"Truth."

"It's horrible. Completely horrible. When you're in the arena, you start to forget who you really are. The arena changes you into what the Capitol wants you to believe. Before you go in, you tell yourself that you won't change who you are to get out alive, that you won't kill anyone. That's what I told myself, and I still killed, just like everyone else. It's kill or be killed. When the time comes, when someone is inches away from killing you or someone you know.. you don't have a choice. It changes who you are. Cato went insane by the end of it. Annie Cresta is crazy. I'm crazy." I finish and drop my eyes to the ground as I fiddle with the necklace Gale gave me for my birthday.

"It sounds.. horrible." I look up at her eyes and they're wide as saucers. I've scared her, I think.

"It is. I wake up nearly every night screaming because the arena haunts me. It sticks with you forever."

"Is that why you look tired?"

I shrug. "Probably." I start coughing but stiffle it quickly.

"Are all Victor's like that?"

"Pretty much. Haymitch drinks. Some drug themselve. Some just let it eat away at them, until there's nothing left but an empty shell. Eventually, if it eats away at you, you really do forget who you are and can only remember the horrible things you've seen and done." I'm glad we're on the roof, because if not, I would've been shipped off to the President's mansion for execution. You aren't exactly supposed to talk about how horrible it is.

"Will that happen to me?"

I hesiate again, because I don't know the answer for that. "I don't know."

She's quiet for a moment. "What will this year's arena be like?

"I don't know that either. We don't know until the Games start." I don't tell her that I know a bit about the arena this year. Plutarch, our inside guy, knows a bit. He's told us some of it. And I can say, it isn't pretty.

"Madge? How do you hold it together?"

"How do I?" She nods and I pull up my sleeves to show her the cuts and nail indents on my wrists. "I did that once. I don't remember how. I hold it together during the day and at night, on a good day, I can fall asleep without having nightmares. On the bad days, I'm usually up all night."

"Oh." She squeaks out. We're quiet for a little, her probably bracing herself for tomorrow when she's shoved in an arena, me trying to stop the memories from assulting me.

Peeta comes up a little later, telling us it's time for dinner. I nod and we stand. Prim seems scared of the arena. I was too, though. I shouldn't have told her. But she needs to know.. People need to know how horrible it is. Only the people in your close-knit circle of friends and family know how broken you are.

I'm lost in my thoughts as we go downstairs to eat. Prim and Peeta are whisked away to get ready right before, so it's just me and Gale and Effie at the table. Effie babbles most of the time, Gale tries to get me to eat more and I sit there and cough. Pretty boring for conversation.

Effie squeals once again as she realizes we have only one hour until the interviews, one more hour for Prim and Peeta to live, in my mind. I go to sit on the couch in the sitting room and Gale follows. Effie goes to get sponsors for Prim and Peeta

I plop onto the couch and rub my eyes. Gale sits down next to me and drapes his arm around my shoulders. "Are you okay, Madge? I'm worried about you."

"Prim asked what the arena was like." I groan and his muscles tense around me. he's always worried about me now. It's like it's never ending. I hurt myself, he worried about me, over and over again.

"What did you tell her?"

"The truth." I whisper and he drops his eyes from mine to the blank screen of the television.

"I'm sorry you had to talk about it." He knows how horrible is was for me, how it haunts me more than him. I'm usually the one who wakes up screaming.

"It's fine. She needed to know. So she's prepared. What did Peeta ask?"

He snorts. "Nothing of importance. He's almost too nice."

I laugh but it quickly turns to coughing. "That's Peeta." I finally choke out as I still laugh.

"What's so funny?" Gale grins at me and I continue laughing as another thought comes to mind: how Katniss, the girl who scowls most of the day, and Peeta, the nicest person in the world got together. That would be a story to hear.

I tell Gale this and it causes him to laugh loudly. "Katniss actually told me, which I found surprising. Because Katniss emitting feelings was a little strange for me to see." I laugh again and this time it doesn't cause me to cough.

"What did she say?"

"She said that he just started showing up everywhere and at first she was really annoyed with him because he wouldn't leave her alone." I snort as he continues, smirking. "Then she said that he randomly asked to go into the woods one day and she took him. She said that he was so loud, walking through the forest and kept scaring all of the game away. She also said he got stuck in a snare and was hanging above the ground for at least two minutes before he said something about it."

I snort again. "That's typical Peeta." Gale laughs again.

"Sounds like someone else I know."

"I do not get stuck in snares!" I protest, crossing my arms across my chest and trying to keep my facae straight, but that fails and I end up laughing.

"Who said I was talking about you?" He smirks again and I shove him away from me lightly and he shoves me back as I fall over onto the couch. He leans over me and grins. "I love you anyways, though." The words make my heart flip as he leans down and presses his lips on mine quickly. When he pulls away, I lick my lips and he rolls his eyes and frowns. "Don't do that."

"What?" I smile again because I know exactly what he means so I do it again. He groans and kisses me again.

"You're going to drive me crazy, Madge."

"Who said you weren't already?" That's the first time I've joked about being crazy and I can tell that he's glad. I go to talk again but I cough instead, rolling over to muffle the coughing.

Once I've finished, I sit up, forcing Gale to sit up also, right as Effie comes in. Thank God we sat up then or she would've gotten some ideas. She's probably already gotten some ideas.

"Well I have some wonderful news! Prim and Peeta have so many sponsers! It's just like you two last year!" I look at Gale who looks at Effie. We had not heard many details about what went on during our Games here. "Oh, yes, you two had so many sponsors. Though there were those few weird ones.." She trails off but the smiles again. "And we must get down there! For the interviews!"

Gale stands and helps me up, linking his hand with mine. Effie smiles at us again. "I can't get over how cute you two are together." Gale squeezes my hand and my heart flips again.

The ride down is fine, but once downstairs, Finnick and Johanna attack us.

"So," Johanna says, clapping her hands together, "You're knocked up, and you're the one who got her knocked up. Amazing."

"Johanna, I told you, we weren't going to bug them about that till tomorrow." Finnick smirks at me and I roll my eyes looking up at Gale who's glaring at Johanna. Oh this'll be _great_.

We sit down in our chairs, me next to Gale, and much to my displeasure, Johanna is on the other side of me. She keeps sending me little jokes about me being 'pregnant'. I must say it gets rather old after about a minute of it.

When Ceaser comes on he looks atrocious. This year, his skin is bright green and his hair is the same shade. I'm blinded.

Gale leans over and whispers in my ear. "I think I perfer the blue." I smile softly remembering how Ceaser was blue last year.

Ceaser starts the crowd off immediately with some jokes and then calls out the District 1, female, who'se name is Emmeline. She's... Something else, I'll say that. Determined to rip other tribues apart. Her counterpart, Litton, isn't much different. The little girl from District 3, who'se name is Delia, is charming and sweet. The male can't even formulate full sentences.

The pregnant women from District 7 seems very nice, as a soon to be mother, but I still slink down in my seat a bit when the women tells Ceaser that the baby is a girl. The man talks about how he's upset that he has to go in with his wife. The District 8 girl is weak. The two fraternal twins, Sayer and Nessa, Seeder's twins, really don't want to be here.

Then, Prim comes out. She's in a flowing white dress and she looks like an angel. She even has a small halo on top of her head. The audience around us takes a breath and I can't help but smile. When she walks she glows a bit.

"Well, Primrose, I must say that you look wonderful!" Ceaser spouts out and I know he's not kidding.

"Please, call me Prim!" Prim squeaks and Ceaser laughs.

"Well, _Prim_, must I say that your training score surprised everyone I think! How did you feel when you saw it?"

Prim smiles before answering. " I really didn't expect it! I kept thinking that it was someone else's!" She continues, flashing a smile at me. She's doing exactly what I told her to do, and she's doing wonderfully at it. Prim shifts in her chair, tugging on her hair.

"You do that too." Gale whispers to me and he tugs on a piece of it and twirls it around his finger.

"So, Prim, you are Gale Hawthorne's cousin, am I correct?"

"Yes, I am." She says tentatively. Gale stiffens next to me and drops my hair and instead takes my hand.

"And how did he feel when you were reaped?" Ceaser asks, trying to get the information out of her.

She glances at Gale quickly and he nods so Prim speaks, "I guess he was shocked. We hadn't really talked about it, as Madge is my mentor."

"And how is Madge?" His eyes twinkle, "We all know that she's expecting, but how is that going?"

"I.. I don't know." Prim pushes out and Ceaser accepts the answer, but grudgingly. He moves on.

"And Prim, I have to say this: you look like an angel in that lovely dress!"

"Oh, but there's more!" She gushes and stands up, preparing to spin, much like I did. But this time, when she spins, something different happens. Sure, she's englufed in flames. But this... this is different. Smoke is billowing around her, and her eyes are wide from what I can see. When the smoke drifts up, something happens. There's a small smark before my pin in broadcasted in glowing golden smoke above the Capitol seating area.

I start coughing from the smoke and begin to muffle it as the screaming of the Capitol makes my head aches again.

The buzzer goes off and Prim shyly makes her way back to her seat where Peeta smiles at her. He looks very nervous.

Ceaser has some trouble calming the audience down, and then Peeta comes out in a white suit that matches Prim's dress, except it's glowing embers.

"Ah! Peeta Mellark! You are taking this by storm, my boy!"

Peeta laughs as he sits down and offers Ceaser his hand. "What can I say?" He smirks out and the audience chuckles.

"So Peeta, how are you liking it here in the Capitol?"

"It's, it's different. The showers, the food-"

"Hold on, the showers?" Ceaser asks, eyebrows raised. "So we have different showers." The audience laughs. Big laugh.

"Yeah." He goes on to talk about how he smells like roses.

"So Peeta, what is your strategy for the Games this year?"

"Well, Ceaser, I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to do." I think I know what he's going to do.

"And why's that?"

"You know Prim? I know her. Very well. I know her older sister too." He goes quiet for a split second when he speaks about Katniss. Then he's speaking again. "Ceaser, I'm not planning to come out of this alive."

There's the bomb. He's basically calling suicide for himself to get Prim out.

"What are you saying Peeta?"

"I'm saying that I'm going to get Prim to the final two with me and then... she's gonna come out."

It's suicide. He's going to kill himself. Prim's eyes are wide and there are unshed tears behind them. Peeta leaves quickly and can't meet Prim's eyes. I think everyone was a bit shocked. Gale's mouth is hanging open, I can't even process anything anymore.

* * *

_A/N: So the Games start next chapter. This should be good._ _So today's my birthday so it would absoluetely amazing if you amazing readers would pop on by and give me a review! Thoughts?_


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: The Games Have Begun.**

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The crowd is in absolute chaos now. Peeta saying he's going to commit suicide for Prim I think shocked everyone. Gale grips my hand tightly as the people flood the area, screaming and shouting and it's chaos.

Escorts are trying to get their tributes back to the elevator and we end up on a elevator with Prim and Peeta also. Peeta is looking down at his feet, Prim looks like she's so close to crying, I know I am, and Gale will not release his grip on my waist, as if someone in the crowd is going to take me. His breath and heartbeat are frantic, I can feel it.

Prim locks eyes with me and I can see more unshed tears. Once in the penthouse, we find an empty floor. "She must not be here." Gale speaks, talking about Effie.

We all lock eyes, Peeta finally lifting his to meet Prim's and Prim collpases in his arms, crying softly.

"I guess this is goodbye?" Peeta asks, keeping it together. I nod and Prim runs to Gale, giving him a hug. He tells her something softly that I can't hear. Peeta turns to me and I embrace him quickly and my tears seep into his jacket.

"Promise me you'll fight, Peeta. Because we'll be fighting here for you." He nods into my shoulder and let's out a shaky laugh.

"Madge, if I don't-"

"No, Peeta. Don't."

"If I don't," he continues anyways, "tell Katniss I love her."

"Oh, Peeta..." I pull away and see that his eyes are teary.

"Please, Madge. I have for a while and didn't get to tell her. Please tell her. Promise me."

"I.. I promise." I pull him for another hug and he holds me tight.

Prim's next. She collapses into my arms this time, sputtering words out so inconherently I can't understand them.

"Prim, calm down. You are going to be fine."

"I'm going into the Hunger Games tomrrow morning. I'm not fine." She stutters out, tearing up.

"Listen to me. You will be fine." I kiss the top of her head. "When that gong rings out, find Peeta. Find someone you can trust. District 8 or something. Find Juniper. You're going to be fine."

"Thank you, Madge. For helping me. For everything."

I shake my head and hold her to me quickly. Primrose Everdeen, a 13 year old girl going into the Hunger Games because she was forced. I know damn well that if Katniss could've volunteered, she would've. She would be here right now saying goodbye to us. Not Prim.

Prim and Peeta go off to their rooms and we stand for a minute before I'm in Gale's arms. They wrap around my shoulders and tense as mine wrap around his waist. My head goes to its usual spot over Gale's heart and he sighs, his breath tickling the top of my head. I start coughing quickly.

"This sucks." He murmurs out and I nearly snort. It pretty much sums up this entire situation. We stand like that for a bit before finally going to bed, even though neither of us are going to get a wink of sleep tonight. There's no way.

I fall onto the bed and run my hands through my hair while Gale showers. I hate being sick. I hate the Hunger Games. I hate President Snow. I hate the Capitol. God, I hate everything right now. I can only imagine what people with children going into it are dealing with. Ceceila, and Seeder. I wonder how they're taking it. Now if my child, if one even existed, had to go in the Games after I had already gone through the hell of it, I'd be furious and crushed.

I want to have children, I really do. Not now though. Not when he or she would almost be guaranteed a place in the Hunger Games. Not when the world is a mess, not when I'm only seventeen. I honestly don't know if I would get through that, even with Gale with me.

Gale comes out of the bathroom and pulls me into his arms quickly before I go to take a shower. I pry myself away and he smirks quickly. Once in the bathroom, I strip down and step in the shower which turns on icy cold and I yelp before changing it a inch to the left and it turns on like it's fire. Hell, I'm on fire. Oh the irony.

I finish quickly after and hop out of the shower, drying and changing into pajamas. I'm freezing again. I shiver as I walk into the room and immediately launch myself into the bed to ease the shivering. It doesn't help one bit.

Gale crawls next to me and wraps his arms around me. Usually, I get warmer when I'm in Gale's arms. It's different. I can't stop shivering for some reason.

Gale puts his hand on my forehead again. "You're still warm, Madge."

"But I'm f-f-reezing." I stutter and he pulls another blanket over me, trying to keep me warm. Thankfully, it works a bit. I'm still cold and I have goosebumps, but I'm not shivering.

"But you have a fever."

"Then why are you lying in bed with me?"

"Do you honestly think I care? I'd rather be sick than you." He sighs, buring his face in my hair. I drift off. Big mistake.

* * *

I wake up screaming and crying and now it's extremely hot. Gale was being tortured. By President Snow. His screaming echoes in my head.

"Madge," a voice says, "Madge, breathe." I can't breathe. I'm crying out and tears are all over my face. I'm thrashing around and I can't breathe.

A hand takes my chin and forces me to look at them. The only thing I can see is Gale's tortured form and his screaming is the only thing I can hear. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" I choke out and I'm pulled into someone's arms. I feel protection. I feel protected; like no one's going to hurt me.

"It was only a dream, Madge. It wasn't real." I can finally focus on Gale's soothing voice, the non-screaming one. The one I know. The one that will protect me. Gale pulls me closer in the protection of his arms and I register that it was a dream. Gale's here, safe and sound. The Capitol isn't going to get him. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

"It was you," I choke out finally, my sobs echoing in the room, "they had you. They were torturing you and you were screaming and-" Gale shuts me up by pressing a frantic kiss to my lips.

"I'm right here." He tells me gently, his fingers skirting across my cheek and brushing my sweaty hair out of my face. "You're right here. They aren't going to hurt either of us." He presses gentle kisses on my neck as I try to calm down.

"They had you." I choke again and he rests his forehead on mine.

"They aren't going to get me. I'm not letting anything take me away from you. Or letting anything take you from me. No one's going to hurt me or you, Madge." He flattens my hair and holds me close to his chest as my crying starts to slow, eventually my tears dry on my face.

"Don't leave me, please." I whimper and his muscles tense around me, forcing me to look at him.

"I love you, Madge. Nothing on earth can make me leave you, okay?" He presses a gentle kiss to my forehead and he pulls me more into his lap. "And nothing is going to happen to you, okay? I won't let anyone hurt you again."

I can't get the picture of Gale's tortured form out of my mind; it's like it's branded there, in a place I will always see.

I don't sleep the rest of the night, and neither does Gale. I'm afraid that if I sleep I'll see Gale being tortured, or Prim and Peeta in the Games. Gale just holds me the rest of the night, making sure I'm okay. But I'm not. I'm absolutly terrified.

* * *

The next morning is subdued. I'm still freezing and coughing. There's no noise at the breakfast table, not even Effie who usually talks forever. I push my food around, occasionally sipping some orange juice.

The clock dings and it's nine. The Games start in an hour. I don't want to watch it. Not today. Not ever. Effie sighs, as if she doesn't want to watch this Games. I know I don't.

Effie tells us to go down to the mentoring room and we leave. She gives us each a hug beforehand, and then, we're on our own in the elevator, going down to where we will have to keep Prim and Peeta alive. Gale pulls me into a hug once we're in the elevator and rests his chin on the top of my head.

"It'll be okay, Madge. Promise me something." I look up at him and he meets my gaze. "Promise me that when I tell you not to watch or something, you won't."

"Why?"

He tightens his grip around me. "Just trust me. Promise?"

"I promise?" I tell him, still unsure about it. He drops his arms from around me as the elevator comes to a stop. We walk into the room and notice the tension between everyone. Usually, Finnick is cracking jokes or something, but now, he's sitting silent as a stone with Mags next to him. She doesn't look too good.

Quickly, we cross to the District 12 room and look inside. Prim's line is on. So her tracker must be in. They're still on the way to the arena. Peeta's blinks on as we walk out.

When we sit back down, Mags gives me a gentle smile and then turns back to the blank screen which flickers to life with Ceaser and Claudius beginning to start commentary about the tributes and such.

We must have maybe thirty more mintutes until the Games actually start. I remember how I felt at this time last year: scared out of my mind.

The clock ticks down much quickler than I would like. Pretty soon, it's around ten minutes until the Games begin. Cecelia sits down next to me. Gale laces his hand with mine and squeezes lightly.

Five minutes. I start to nibble on my nails until they're stubs. Pretty soon it's three minutes. Then two. Then one.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let the 75th Hunger Games begin!"

Sixty seconds. That's it. Sixty seconds to wait. Sixty seconds to find out if you're going to die or live. Sixty agonizing seconds.

They are in a city, that looks oddly familar. There's all of these bright colors. The cornucopia is right in the middle of it, shining and bright. The tributes are spaced in even intervals away from it and each other. The camera shows flashes of other parts of the arena. A place with red mulch. An area covered in sand. Another that looks really, really, familar...

"It's Panem." Gale chokes out and he's right. It is. There are twelve sections, besides the Capitol portion, where the cornucopia is situated. Inbetween each section is an unruly jungle and in between the Capitol section and the other section, is more unrly jungle.

There's about thirty seconds left on the countdown clock on the cornucopia so I focus on the tributes. They all have on grey t-shirts and black tight pants. A sturdy belt. The girls have on white jackets and the boys have black jackets. Prim is stationed next to Juniper and Delia. The youngest of the three, Delia, is trembling so badly I think she might fall of the plate.

Peeta isn't so lucky. He's surrounded by Careers, but is luckily only seven spots from Prim. Now there's twenty seconds. Then ten.

Five seconds. Prim begins to shake.

Four seconds. Peeta braces himself.

Three seconds. Juniper takes a deep breath.

Two seconds. The three of them lock eyes.

One second.

_Begin._

People are already running to the cornucopia. Juniper grabs Prim and Delia and pulls them away from the horror of the boodbath. Peeta manages to grab a backpack and a sword. When he's running from the cornucopia back to Prim, a body slams into him and knocks him flat on his back. The person is preparing to shove a knife into his eye when Peeta rams his head into the girl's head, effectively dazing her and only suffering from a cut going from below his eye to the top of his mouth.

There's already one person on the ground, dead, head chopped off and all. I close my eyes quickly, trying to clear the image from my head. Juniper goes back in and grabs a backpack once Peeta is back with Prim, Delia, and now Sayer, Seeder's son. Her daughter is no where to be seen. Sayer must be around 19, I would think. As Junier runs back to them, she slips on some of the blood of the person's head and falls next to it and screechs. It's the man who's wife is pregnant. I haven't seen her.

She struggles to get up, slipping again on the blood and landing face first into it. She screams again as her pupils dialate and shrink.

"My poor baby.." I hear Cecelia murmur under her breath and I reach out and squeeze her hand quickly. Peeta won't let her die. I know he won't; it's Peeta for God's sake. Juniper lugs herself up and starts running again, the blood trailing down her face. The women from 1, who's determined to kill everyone to win, starts to chase her and the boy from 4, named Linus, stabs her in the arm quickly and she shouts out a string of curses I have never heard before turning around and flipping off the boy from 4 as he runs toward our little group.

There are people screaming and fighting and there's people lying on the ground, and I can't tell if they're dead or not. Juniper makes it back to the little group and with one last glance at the cornucopia and the fighting insuing there, they run through the jungle.

* * *

_A/N: MUST READ: The games have started, and let's just say they aren't going to be exactly pretty. They're going to be pretty gruesome. Heads up. OH! This is really important, so you MUST READ this: So pretty soon in this story, things are going to take a turn for the worst, and a lot of people have given me grief about stuff that happens in this story, and I just want to say that if you wish to be forewarned about it so you don't completely want to kill me then PM me. I don't want to lose followers or anything because of what I'm planning. If you do PM me, I'll try to dumb it down a bit so I don't completely give it away, but I want you all to be warned._

_Anyways, this is like the longest authors note ever, but please review. I never realized how many people read this and don't review. I really do love your reviews and they really help you as a writer, so if all you lovely people could review, it would really mean alot to me(:_


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: I still don't own these characters, unfortunately. A bit of graphic violence in this chapter. Warning y'all.**

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This arena is truly, truly horrible. In only one hour, we have seen the District 6 male and female literally ripped apart by some creature. Really, all that was left was some blood. They had to gather the scraps to be able to take them home; nothing is identifiable besides some of the tribute outfit.

We haven't moved into our separate rooms yet, apparently according to Cecelia, those are only used for sleeping and sponsoring, but other than that, we'll be in the big room.

The cannons have yet to tell us who has died, meaning the fighting has been going on quite a long time. We've seen most of the fighting, but only blips of our little group walking through the forest. Peeta is in front, slashing the jungle trying to make a path, then Prim is walking, half asleep on her feet, Delia is on Junipers back, and Sayer's in the back watching their backs. Nessa, Seeder's daughter is dead. She was stabbed repeatedly by Emmeline, the women from 1 who almost killed Juniper.

Seeder has not made a reappearance from her separate room since. Chaff is in there too, hopefully comforting her, saying that her son is still out there.

Finally, the cannons go off. 1, 2, 3, all the way up to 7. Not as many as last year. The camera is now focused on our group.

"Only seven. I wonder who they were." Peeta speaks up and Sayer nods. I forgot that he doesn't know that his sister is dead.

"Could be anyone." Sayer continues, taking Delia from Juniper and Juniper relaxes and takes the knife from him. Peeta nudges Prim, who is literally half asleep.

"You okay?"

She nods. "Just tired. Can we find a place to rest?"

"We probably should. We should get somewhere."

"Do you think this jungle _ever_ ends?" Juniper asks, wiping sweat and blood from the man from earlier from her face and crinkling her nose when it appears on her white jacket sleeve.

"I dunno. Maybe if we keep walking forward we'll get somewhere." Sayer says as Delia adjusts herself on his back. The small girl's hair is tied up in some weird pigtail things, and I must say that even though she probably will die, she's cute.

Then a scream rips through the jungle, causing all of them to look up and around, awake. The camera flashes to the pregnant women, as she's stumbling through the forest, with District 1, 2, and the girl from 4 right on her heels. I know that nothing good can come from this. The women, being pregnant, is having a very tough time getting through the jungle and trips on a vine as they all catch up and surround her.

"So who wants to kill her?" The women from 1 taunts, holding up her knife.

"I'll do it. That way, I'll have a matching set." So he's the one who killed her husband. "That's right. He's dead." He smirks at the women, who screams as tears stream down her face.

"Nolan!" She screams out his name as the Careers inch forward to her.

"So how's the baby of yours?" I feel sick to my stomach now. "Doing good? I think you're going to have an early birth." Huh? No, no, she's not ready to give birth. She's not even close to it!

Gale tugs at my arm, trying to get to me to look away, but I can't even tear my eyes from the screen as the male from District 1 sends his knife down on her protruding stomach and she shrieks and falls as her blood falls all to the ground along with her body. Her stomach is gushing blood as the man hacks away at her, prying the small, growing fetus out of her and hacking away at it too. The women is screaming and screaming and screaming as she watched the blood and life drain out of herself and her baby.

My jaw is dropped open as Gale finally manages to get me to look away from the horrible scene and he holds me close to him as her screaming continues to echo in my head. I can't get the picture out, not of the women, or the baby, or the blood, or the Careers face. That's the worst.

"That's rough." I hear Johanna mutter under her breath. "Even Brutus looks disgusted, and he thrives off of this stuff." I glance over at Brutus and find that he does look a bit disgusted. This may be the lowest anyone has stooped in the Games, killing a mother and her unborn child.

"That's really, really horrible." Ceceila says out loud, "Especially when she has to watch it." I don't know who Ceceila is talking about. The women, or someone else. I can imagine all pregnant mothers are feeling the same way now... Ohh.. right.. I'm supposed to be pregnant. I forgot.

A cannon booms on screen and laughter peels out to all of us as the Careers leave the womans mangled body in the trees. I don't dare look at it. Instead, I focus on my hands, because I still feel like I'm going to be sick.

"Eight." I hear Peeta's quiet voice from the screen. I look up at the screen to see Peeta looking up at the sky as the body goes away with the hovercraft. "I wonder who it was."

"It could have been anyone." Juniper says, shoving Peeta along. "Come on, we need to find a place to stay. I don't exactly want to stay here with God only knows what." She sounds exceptionally irritated.

"Then you can stand over here and we can keep going, if that's okay." Sayer says, obviously messing with the girl who glares at him but then smiles quickly before it fades.

"Or not." Prim squeaks, getting a laugh out of Juniper before all happiness of the moment fades and they continue walking in silence, occasionally saying something about something in the forest.

"How old is Juniper again?" Beetee asks Cecelia quietly.

"Fifteen."

"And your others?"

"Ten and seven."

"Right.." Beetee trails off and says that he's going to take a nap. Pretty soon, a lot of the Victor's have gone to sleep, as night is falling. But, before a lot of the can go, the anthem plays, and then proceeds to show the faces of the dead tributes. First to come is the man from District 3. Then the two from 6, then the pregnant women and her husband. The man from 9. The women from 10. And finally, Nessa. Sayer's face shows a sign of shock before it shows anger, then confusion, then sadness. It's complete and utter sadness.

He presses the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to prevent the tears. Seeder disappears back into her room, with fresh tears. Sayer, on screen, moves away from the group for a bit and punches a tree repeatedly, giving him several splinters. Peeta and Juniper talk in hushed voices away from him, as Prim and Delia sleep.

"I feel bad for him." Juniper tells Peeta and he nods, looking over at Sayer as he punches a tree.

"You and me both. I really do wonder how it would feel to see someone you knew up in that sky."

"I really wonder." Juniper changes the topic as Sayer comes back over and flops on the ground next to her, rubbing his eyes again. "So how'd you end up here?"

"Me?" Peeta asks, pointing to himself, "I'm friends with Madge and sort of Gale."

"Sort of?"

"I don't know him as well as I know Madge." I nearly snort at this and Gale shoves me away from him slightly.

"Oh. That's good, I guess."

"What about you?"

"My mom. I'm just glad it was me and not either of my sisters."

"How old are they?"

"Ten and seven. To young." She says, glancing toward the sleeping form of Delia, who is only ten. "I wonder how she got here. Same with Prim."

Peeta looks at Prim. "I know for a fact that if volunteering would had been allowed, Prim's sister would've been on that stage in a heartbeat."

"You know her sister?" Sayer finally speaks up, after moments of silence.

"Yeah." Peeta doesn't offer up anymore information. Katniss will swamped with interviewers now. She'll kill Peeta if he gets out of this alive. The conversation dies and Peeta and Sayer stay up for the first shift.

They're still in the jungle, but, they are close to a district, one that I cannot name. I think it might be.. Six? Maybe?

"What district is that?" Gale asks out loud and Johanna responds, with a monotone voice.

"Seven. You know what sucks? Both of my tributes are out already." She puffs, flopping backward's on a couch with a glass of water.

"Did you know them?"

She laughs coldly, with no emotion. "I have no friends. Or family. There's no one left I love."

I shift uncomfortably in my seat next to Gale and he sighs, pulling me to him. My head falls to his shoulder. "You should get some sleep." He mumbles in my ear and I frown.

"I'm not tired." But then my body decides to yawn and Gale smirks at me. "I'm not!" I try to protest, but end up coughing and yawning again, causing me to start coughing more.

"You did say I could force you to sleep, so go sleep." I narrow my eyes at him and he laughs, pressing a kiss to my temple.

"Yeah, Madge, you should get your sleep." Finnick mocks and I glare at him as he laughs at me. Finnick's tributes are currently making their way towards ours, about three miles away, near the mini-District 4.

"Go, Madge. I'll wake you up if anything happens." Gale says before I glare at him one last time and then stand and slowly walk to the District 12 room, my footsteps quiet. I grab the handle and attempt to pull it open. It doesn't work. It seems to be locked from the inside.

"Madge?" I hear Gale call from the other side of the room, and then footsteps as he gets closer. "Madge." He reaches out and grabs the handle. "The doors push."

"Oh. I knew that." I try to wave it off and he smirks at me, again.

"I told you that you were tired." I ignore him and go into the room and fall onto the bed, crinkling my nose at the screen as Gale mutes it for me. "There. Now please try to sleep. You know how much I worry about you when you don't sleep."

"Yeah and it worries me how much you worry about me more than you worry about yourself." I mutter and he laugh as I rest my head in his lap and he absent-mindedly plays with my hair.

"We worry too much."

"Yeah I think I figured that one out on my own." I say and he smiles down at me as I sigh and stare blankly at the screen.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't get the woman out of my head. The image of her."

"Try not to think about it. Think about something else, something happy."

"Like what? There's nothing happy in this world."

"Think about... Think about what's going to happen after all this is over."

I stare up at him for a moment before he continues. "Think about the family we could start. Think about that."

I smile softly and speak. "Tell me about the family."

He grins quickly before kissing my forehead. "We can get married, for real, not what they want. We can live in one of the Victor Village's houses and have ten kids."

"Uh, correction, we're not having ten kids unless _you_ carry half of them." I point up at him and he grins again.

"I believe that that is anatometly incorrect, I can't carry children."

"Oh shut up."

He smirks again before continuing our story. _Our_. Not mine, not his, _ours_. "And then when we get older, our kids can have kids and then we'd be grandparents."

"So you're still holding out on that ten kids thing?"

"Uh huh." I know he's kidding. I honestly don't think I'll be able to withstand going through labor ten times. Maybe not even like three.

"You are kidding right?"

"I'll have as many kids as you want." He leans down a kisses my nose and I have to smile. "Now, please try to sleep. I'll be right out there if you need me."

And I do sleep. I sleep better than I have in weeks. I keep holding onto that dream, which hopefully will happen one day.

* * *

I wake up naturally for once, not by screaming myself awake. The room's spinning again, though. So I sit up, slowly, and rub my eyes as the room slowly stops spinning. I glance quickly at the screen to see Juniper laughing at something someone said. Delia's actually walking on her feet, her wrist tied to string that Primis holding onto. Apparently the small girl is ADHD, otherwise making it hard for her to focus. Plus, she's ten. Sayer looks exceptionally irritated, and he has bags under his eyes. I take it he didn't get a wink of sleep last night.

Slowly, I stand and everything goes out of focus again and I grip the door handle tightly, as I can see straight again. Then, I open the door correctly and walk back into the room slowly. I hear Finnick laughing and Johanna cackling at something. Gale's back is to me and I know Johanna and Finnick are making fun of him and Finnick winks at me as I approach.

Gale catches it and turns around. When he sees me, his eyes brighten and his scowl morphs into a smile. "Hey." He sees quietly, moving over so I can sit down next to him.

"Hi." I sit down and curl up next to him, coughing a bit. He wraps his arm around my waist as Finnick gives me the lovey-dovey eyes. I stick my tongue at him and he smirks. Cecelia comes over and sits down on the other side of me. "You should go sleep now." I tell Gale and he sighs, rubbing his eyes.

"Fine." He actually gives in to me. Wow. I thought he was going to protest. He presses his lips onto the top of my head quickly and then disappears into the room that I came out of moments ago.

"I have to say it," Ceceila speaks a few seconds after Gale dissapears, "you two are just precious."

I feel myself blushing as Finnick laughs. "But you two are polar opposites. You're all happy and smiling and then he's all grumpy and scowly."

"He is not grumpy or scowly!" I protest to Finnick but he cuts me off.

"Around you. He's not around you. He's different, gentler, calmer around you."

"And your point is?"

"My point is that for a little during the Games last year, I didn't know if all of that between you two was true or not, but now I know that it is."

My silence eggs him on. "What I'm saying is that you really love each other. Especially him."

"How can you tell?"

"It's obvious. You can see it in his eyes when he looks at you." I'm blushing like crazy and Cecelia and Finnick smile at me. Johanna looks bored.

"Can we move on from all of this love stuff and talk about something else now?" While the rest of them converse, I don't join in the conversation, instead thinking about what Finnick told me. Can you really tell how much someone loves you when they look at you?

My thoughts are interrupted when I hear a blood-curdling screen. It's Prim's.

* * *

_A/N: Another warning, these Games are not going to be pretty. They're gonna be pretty bad. Like, really bad. Favorite parts, scenes, thoughts? And, fyi, I've posted a new story, and I was wondering if y'all wanted to check it out? It's called Fate's Tricky Methods, and obviously, it's Gadge. Just go to my profile and you should see it. _


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: Uhh... I dunno. **

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My blood chills when the camera goes to Peeta, who's face has gone paper white. It's not showing us Prim at all. Peeta's left everyone else behind and is running aimlessly through the jungle, trying to find Prim. There's another scream, and there's only one person in that entire arena capable of making that sound: Delia. So now they're both screaming bloody murder and Juniper and Sayer are running too.

"Peeta!" Prim's voice calls out, with pure terror present. "Juniper! Sayer! Help!" Delia's crying and screaming and I don't know what's going on and neither does anyone else in this room.

"Where are we going?!" Juniper yells to Sayer as they sprint through the jungle, getting caught on roots and such.

"I don't know! Wherever they are!" He bellows back to her and they continue running. Now it's showing the District 4 people running too, though I don't know where too or why. And then the next thing I know it's showing the boy from District Four, Linus, throwing a spear of some sort and the screaming ceases. But there hasn't been a cannon, so they must be alive, right?

"Peeta!" Prim yells again and Peeta smashes through the thick jungle trees and falls onto the dead beast at Prim and Delia's feet. Both of the girls are shaking and crying. The District 4 tributes slowly inch forward and Peeta tackles Prim and Delia in a hug.

Juniper and Sayer have made it there and Sayer's already pointing his sword at the District 4 tribues. "Don't take another step."

They drop their weapons and they raise their hands above their head. "We weren't going to kill them. We killed the beast." Sayer's brown eyes flicker to the beast with a spear in it.

"Why?" Juniper asks while she holds Delia in her arms. The girl's quiet sobs are muffled into Juniper's t-shirt.

"We want to join an alliance with you." The girl says, her gaze strong.

"Why?"

"We think that we would be stronger in numbers." Juniper, Peeta and Sayer look at each other before making a split-second decision.

"Deal." The group of seven now slowly gather all of their supplies and leave the beast, but grab the spear.

"Can we trust them, Finnick?" Cecelia asks Finnick and he nods.

"Yeah. I told them to find your tributes."

"Oh." The group slowly continues, until something happens. They find a gate. Linus and Siena, the District 4 tributes gasp, as does Finnick.

"It looks like home." Siena muses, running her hand over the gate."

"Should we go in?" Peeta asks and they nod quickly. The push open the gate and the District 4 that I remember is there. Linus and Siena run straight for the ocean, but stop short a few feet away from it.

"Why'd you stop?" Delia asks and then hesitantly step forward, closer.

"Do you think anything could be in it? I mean, remember last year, with the lake and all.." Oh how I do remember. I'm willing to bet that there is something in that water.

"I bet something's there. Maybe if we stay close to the shoreline we'll be fine." I can tell that Linus and Siena are itching to get into the water. If I was in the arena, I would love to stay away from the water and get as far away from it as I could.

So they all get in, most of the tributes staying close to the shoreline, when something dings from inside the District 12 room. I don't know how I heard it, but I did, so I stand and go into the room. Gale's passed out on the bed so I try to be quiet when I inch over to the table with the computer. Flashing right before me is an alert, and a map of the arena, showing that four tributes are also on their way to District 4. I use the buttons to zoom in on the small group and find that it's the Career group.

I race back out into the main room to find everyone else panicking. "The Careers are on their way." I start coughing and my head starts to hurt again.

"Yeah we know." Finnick shoots out at me and I cower.

"Should we send a note?"

"Notes have to be processed, as do parachutes. We can really only hope that they notice beforehand and have time to move."

"Where would they go?" I ask, sitting down again and tucking my feet under myself.

"Well, the other districts close to this one on the map are either 3 or 5. Neither are ideal, though, I would rather have them be in one where at least one of them know where they are. But at least they'll be away from the Careers."

"And if they don't get away?"

"They're screwed." Finnick says simply, staring intently at the screen as the tributes get closer and closer. Prim, Peeta and Delia are wading around in the shallow water as Linus and Siena actually swim further in. Juniper and Sayer are sitting, talking to each other on the edge of the beach.

The Careers are just entering the District and they hear our alliance. They all look at each other, eyes shining and then race off to the beach. I can't help but feel that this arena is weird. Weirder than normal.

Juniper and sayer hear the pounding of feet first and shush everyone quickly. That's when the Careers crash into the area and instantly start attacking. Sayer grabs Prim and Delia out of the water and shoves them behind a sand dune and gives Prim a knife.

Juniper is immediately pinned down by the women from 1, the one who tried to kill her at the Bloodbath. Peeta is attacked by the man from 1, and they're both wielding swords at each other and they're clashing and yelling. Siena and Linus both bear down on the man from 2, slicing and stabbing at him, and Sayer is left with the District 2 female.

Sayer immediately lunges at the girl, pinning her down and attempting to kill her. The girl knees him in the worst possible place and he doubles over and falls as she stradles him, slicing open his face from his eye down to his chin. Linus jumps at the girl, rolling her off of Sayer and stabbing her in the heart. Her cannon booms instantely.

Linus pulls Sayer up and he limps over, blood dripping from his face onto his shirt. He sees Juniper struggling and tries to walk but falls again. Ceceila tenses on the couch when her daughter has to dodge the repeated stabs aimed at her face. Juniper flips the grown women off of her and kicks her in the gut. The women falls with curses and when she comes up, her eyes are rimmed with pure anger and hate.

Siena is trying to hold off the man from 2, but with no prevail. He slices her neck and she falls, clutching her neck as the blood seeps through her fingers. It stains her white shirt as the man repeatedly slices her neck. Her eyes go white and her cannon booms. The man smiles evily and moves away from her body, blood still spilling out of her wound. This is really not helping my migrane. It's making it worse, actually, with all of the blood and the screaming.

The camera flashes to Delia and Prim, who are both cowering in fear behind the sand dune. The man from 1 keeps pushing Peeta closer and closer to the sand dune when the screaming starts. But it's not anyone in the arena. It's Katniss.

Peeta's face drains of all color and his blue eyes go paler. My jaw drops and my eyes search the screen as Peeta starts running. Katniss can't be there, can she? We would've seen her!

"Finnick! Are they really there?" I fire at him and he shakes his head, but hesitantely. Then he shakes it again.

"No. They aren't. The jabberjays are mimicking the voices."

"Where did they get the voices!"

"Interviews. They do have interviews from these people." Another scream starts and Juniper goes running after Peeta as Prim follows as Katniss's screams increase. Cecelia jumps in her seat and I realize that it must be one of her daughters.

All of their faces look full of terror and they have cuts and scrapes all over their faces and arms when Katniss's screaming stops and someone else's does. That's when I realize that it's me screaming. I'm sure they have plenty of that from my Games.

Peeta and Prim start running again when it stops. Thank God. They're both standing in a clearing as the screaming echoes and Juniper crashes into the clearing. All of them are panting and struggling to catch their breath.

"Do you.. Do you think it's real?" Juniper forces out and they shrug.

"They aren't here. I know they aren't." Peeta says while rubbing his eyes, tiredly. "They can't be here. Why would they? We're the tributes, not them. They aren't here."

Prim starts to cry from hearing her sister screaming and Peeta gives her a hug as Juniper collapses on the ground, holding her head.

"That was completely and utterly horrible." It's torture, that's what it is. Torture. "Come on. We left the rest of our alliance back in the District 4." She pulls herself off of the ground and tries to act like she's fine. She's shaking though. Peeta is also. I'm sure I'd be shaking if I have heard Gale screaming. I'd probably be worse.

"Well that was lovely." Johanna says monotonely, standing up and stretching, "I'm gonna nap." She goes into the District 7 room and shuts the door quickly.

"Is she always like that?" I ask to no one in particular and Finnick responds.

"Yeah. You get used to it." He says, leaning back in his chair and watching the screen as the trio makes their way to the District, their trail evident in their running. As this is going on, Gale comes out of the room and crosses to us quickly. He glances up at the screen and stops and stares for a moment. Then he continues walking and sits down next to me quickly. I link my hand with his and he squeezes lightly before directing his attention to the screen.

"How did they get all of the cuts?"

"It's a long story." Finnick answers for me and then tells the story. Gale's expression becomes stony when it gets to the part about the screaming and he squeezes my hand again. I drop my head to his shoulder and he pulls me into his lap while I protest.

"How do you feel?" He murmurs into my ear and I feel goosebumps flesh on my body when his breath tickles my neck.

"I have a headache." I tell him and he frowns, resting his hand on my forehead again.

"You don't feel warm anymore, though." He frowns again as he looks at the screen. Sayer, Delia, and Linus are going through the forest, both looking defeated, looking for the other three in our alliance. Delia is on Sayer's back again, sound asleep.

Sayer looks frustrated and Linus is just following the young man's path, with no talking. I wonder how long it'll be until they find each other. I hope it's not long. Who knows what kind of creatures are here?

Finnick goes to turn in and Cecelia offers to keep watch on the tributes. That's fine, as I want to talk to Gale about the arena. I think I have an idea of it. I slide off of his lap and go into the District 12 room and he follows.

"What?" He says after he's closed the door and sat down next to me on the bed.

"This arena's weird."

"Aren't all arenas weird?"

"No, this one's really weird. I think the small districts are related somehow."

"What makes you think that?"

"I dunno. I just get this weird feeling when I think about it."

His eyebrows knit and he turns to the screen. Yes, now that I do think about it, it seems odd.

"Yeah. It does seem weird." He concludes quickly and nods. I cough a few times and he gives me a look.

"I'm fine, Gale." He wraps his arms around my shoulders and I rest my head on his chest. I can hear his heartbeat and feel his breath on my head.

"I hope so." He murmurs, and I don't understand what he means. I shrug off the feeling and attempt to sleep again.

* * *

_A/N: Sorry if this chapter isn't up to par, kind of out of inspiration. Still trying though. Review and tell me your thoughts!_


	39. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer: Brace yourselves. Don't hate me. Don't say I didn't warn you. I think I might hate myself.**

* * *

I wake up peacefully for once. That peaceful mood disappears quickly. There is a lot of talk going on outside of the door, and I don't know what's going on. I swing my legs off of the bed and my vision blackens quickly. The dots disappear as I slowly make my way to the door. Once it's open, it's a bit crazy. I tap Cecelia on the shoulder and she whips around, answering my question without me having to ask.

"Peeta took a knife for Prim." My head flashes to the screen where Peeta is lying on the ground, withering, blood streaming out of his gut. Prim is crying hysterically above him, trying to staunch the flow, but it's no use. The knife is still there; taking it out would mean certain death, but leaving it in also means it. No one seems to know what to do except Juniper, who quickly pulls some bandages out of her pack and begins to wrap is around the knife while Sayer tries to muffle Prim's cries. Delia and Linus sit helplessly next to Sayer and Prim.

I keep walking through the room to find Gale looking for me. "Finnick said to send some medicine. If we don't he'll die." I nod, fearfully as I watch Peeta's face go paler and paler every passing second. He's struggling to breathe, and doesn't know what to do. No one does. Cecelia follows us to the sponsor room and helps us with the medicine stuff. Gale sits down in the chair and Cecelia sits in the other, turning the screen toward her.

"Well you certainly have enough money to get the medicine. Get it, I don't think these Games are going to last must longer." Gale punches a few buttons as Peeta's eyes flutter closed and his breathing becomes even more shallow. Cecelia stands and gives me an apologetic glance before leaving the room. I stare at the screen as Juniper, and now Prim, try to do anything they can to help.

"Gale,"

"I know. He's gonna have to hold on for a while. The medicine won't be processed for a few hours." He pulls me into his lap and I don't protest. "It'll be okay." He murmurs as my head falls onto his shoulder.

"What if it's not?"

"It will be."

"What even happened?"

"A knife came out of nowhere and they just all ran. We think it was the one from 2 who's still alive. While you were asleep, quite a few people died. All that's left is our group, the two remaining Careers, and maybe one other person."

I quickly count them up in my head. "So... nine?"

He nods. "Yeah. Nine. I don't think it's going to last much longer."

"What else happened?"

"A lot of the mini-districts collapsed. All that's left of them is rubble. The only one's left are 1, 2, 3, 4, 9, 11, and 12. Six of them are gone, I don't know what's going on." He won't meet my eyes when he says this, and I know he's lying.

"Gale," I protest and he cuts me off by pressing his lips to mine.

"Trust me, Madge. Just trust me." He says after pulling away and resting his forehead on mine.

"I do, you know I do." I tell him and he sighs.

"Then please trust that there's a reason I'm not telling you stuff, it's going to protect you."

"You're supposed to tell me stuff, Gale. I can help. I'm not weak."

"I know you're not. Hell, you're not weak Madge. I'm just trying to protect you if something happens."

"What's going to happen? The Games are going to end and then we're going to go home, with a Victor." Only one, I think to myself. Gale's quiet for more than a minute, and then he answers, his voice impossibly low.

"Yeah. We'll go home." He says, and I drop it. I'll bug him about it later. I stare at the screen, as Peeta struggles to hang on to life. Prim keeps screaming at him whenever he closes his eyes. Sayer finally makes her sleep because she's been hysterical for the past thirty minutes.

"What are we going to do?" Sayer asks Juniper as Prim struggles to fall asleep.

"Hope they send us something." Juniper shrugs, wiping the dried blood off of her hands and wiping it on one of the big leaves hanging from one of the trees.

"I'm sure they will. They won't just leave him here."

"I doubt they will. We better get something." They continue to talk as night sets and the faces appear. It's face after face after face and by the time it's over, I'm horrified at how many people died today. I'm still in Gale's lap when the parachute floats down to our little camp. Juniper jerks her head from the tree where it was resting when it lands on Peeta's struggling form. He's nearly dead, I know he is. Sayer shouts out and Prim and Delia awake from their slumber as Linus takes the medicine capsule out with shaking hands.

"Okay, before we use this, I say that we use it on Peeta first and then we clean up our selves, got it?" They all nod, and Prim rips the capsule out of Linus' hands and starts to work on Peeta's injury. The helpless girl who was here a few hours ago is gone, replaced by a fearless girl, working with blood as if it's nothing. Peeta sighs when the medicine reaches his skin and I let out a breath because it worked. The marks begin to fade immediately; this must be some magic medicine. They use some on his face where the women slashed him. The scar starts to fade.

The rest of them use it on their variety of cuts and scrapes and Peeta is able to force down some water. Finnick opens the door and both of our heads turn to him. he gives me a small smile before turning to Gale.

"Come here." I climb off of Gale lap and he stands, squeezing my hand quickly before following Finnick out. I can hear hushed whispers outside of the door, and then Gale comes back in, looking pale.

"What?" I ask quickly as he crosses back to me and makes me stand up. "Gale, what's going on?"

"Madge, I need you to listen to me. Please." He cups my cheek and I stare up at him, clueless about what is going on.

"Hawthorne, we gotta go!" I hear Finnick bellow from the other room and Gale presses his lips to mine, quickly and frantically.

"Madge, we don't have much time. Please, listen to me." I try to kiss him again but he pulls away and cups my cheek again. "Listen to me. We're getting them out of the arena. Go with Johanna and Cecelia. Please trust me."

"I do, Gale, I do!" I tell him frantically and he rests his forehead on mine.

"I love you. Just in case something..." He trails off. He's not going to go there.

"I love you, too." I choke out and his lips find mine again. There's three sharp raps on the door and we break from each other to find Johanna frowning.

"I hate to break up this lovely moment, but we have to go." She says; she sounds irritated. Very irritated. She has a small gun in her left hand, pointed to the ground. I hear some yelling from around the area and she pulls me from Gale. "We _have_ to go._ Now_."

"Johanna, give me one second."

"Does she know _anything_?!" She yells at him and he shakes his head before pulling me back into his arms and presses a kiss to my forehead and then my lips.

"I love you." He murmurs, and I nod and Johanna pulls me away. She hands me a gun and cocks it, pressing it into my hands.

"We gotta go." She turns her head to Finnick, "See you there?"

"See you there."

Where? I don't know. Where! She grabs my wrist and leads me back down the hall away from Gale and Finnick. Cecelia is in front of us, yelling something about a hovercraft. We make it to the hovercraft without being stopped. It's when we're getting in the hovercraft that we start being shooted at. Johanna shoots right back, shoving me into the hovercraft, killing three people without thinking. The hovercraft lifts off, shots echoing in my ears as Cecelia drags me to the cock-pit.

"So we're going to find the arena, and then get them out by sending the claws down, got it? You and Johanna are going to be in charge of getting the people into the hovercraft. We're picking up Peeta, Juniper, and Sayer. The other hovercraft has Prim, Delia, and Linus. Got it?" I nod over and over again, trying to process this all. There's several maps, some with flickering dots, some with heat stuff and whatever.

"Hey, Undersee, get your ass over here, we need to get ready." Johanna yells at me and she straps a gun to my back and shoves one in my hands. "Get ready to be shot at, and whatever you do, do not jump out of this hovercraft."

Cecelia yells something I can't hear and Johanna tenses before she punches the button on the side of the wall and the door opens and wind threatens to suck us out. The arena is in complete chaos, people are screaming, the ground is collapsing under their feet, and everything. Peacekeepers from another hovercraft shoot at us and Johanna and I hit the deck and shoot back. The claw descends below us and grabs Juniper, pulling her to safety. She doesn't hesitate to run away from the door.

Johanna and I stand back up and continue to shoot back and then I'm shot in the stomach and complete pain envelopes me as I fall out of the hovercraft and hit the ground. instantly, my vision is black and I'm gone.

* * *

Haymitch has had a long day. Since this morning, he's seen Madge fall from a hovercraft, a bullet in her stomach, seen District 12 being bombed, and seen District 13, which everyone thought was gone.

District 13 is uncomfortable. It's underground. Haymitch doesn't care for the underground. It makes him feel uncomfortable, like he's being suffocated. And it doesn't help that the President is a complete creep. When District 12 was bombed, the Hawthornes, Everdeen's and Haymitch helped as many people as they could out of the district. Not many made it. Only 800-900 of the original nine thousand. They had been stumbling around in the meadow when hovercrafts landed and picked them all up. Currently, most of the residents were being checked for diseases and such. Everyone's getting treated for burns and inhaling smoke. Haymitch would go, but he's too concerned.

So when those hovercraft doors open in the hangar and people stumble out, he can't help but immediately run to Odair and drill him for information.

"What happened?"

"We lost track of the other hovercraft. We got there before they did and left before they did. Communications went down and we don't know where they are."

"Shit. Who'd you get?"

"All of who we were supposed to." Finnick continues, as Prim, Linus and Delia all come out of the hovercraft, the older of the two strapped to beds. The older Everdeen runs to her sister, sobbing and takes her hand. No family runs to the others. Hawthorne comes out with Beetee and Posy practically jumps at him. He holds her close to him and then he comes to Haymitch.

"Where are the others?" He demands and Haymitch can only shrug.

"We don't know." Gale runs his hand through his hair and turns toward the hovercraft that he arrived in. For the next twenty minutes, everyone is sitting quietly and anxiously when the next hovercraft finally comes in. It stops and everyone turns expectantly toward the door as it opens. Two people come out. Juniper and Cecelia. No one else.

Haymitch goes to Cecelia insanely. "What the hell happened?"

She answers dryly, "How much did you see?"

Haymitch drops his voice. "The feed cut after she fell."

Tears spring into Cecelia's eyes. "They got her. They got Sayer, Peeta, Johanna and Madge."

"How'd they get Johanna?"

"Shot her too. Annie Cresta's there too." Haymitch lets out a low whistle. "Should we tell their families?"

"Yeah. Peeta's didn't get out the district. Mayor Undersee is here though. Seeder knows, I'm assuming?"

"Yes. It's been rough for her."

"It hasn't been easy for anyone." Haymitch tells her as they go to gather up the families of the one's who were captured. Haymitch decided at the last second to grab the Everdeen's because they know Peeta. Gale follows without even speaking to Haymitch. Their little group ends up in a confrence room with Alma Coin. No one pays attention to her at first, as Gale explodes.

"So where are they?"

Haymitch takes a breath. "Our rescue plan didn't go exactly as planned. After our first hovercraft left, there were... issues."

"What issues?" Mayor Undersee speaks up, raising his eyebrow at Haymitch.

"The Capitol captured some people. The arena blew up somehow and a few people are with the Capitol." Katniss gasps; she understands what Haymitch means.

"Who?" Gale asks, still not following.

"People were captured. Peeta, Sayer, Annie Cresta," Finnick's face pales, "Johanna and Madge. The Capitol has them." Gale just stares at Haymitch. He doesn't get it. "They are with the Capitol. Probably being tortured as we speak."

He gets it. His face drains of all color and takes on a panicked look. "We-we're getting them out, right?"

"We can't plan a rescue mission in a day, Hawthorne." Haymitch growls at him and Gale stands up, shouting at Haymitch.

"So we're going to leave them there?! Let them be tortured?!"

"You know we aren't going to do that!" Haymitch bellows back and Gale runs his hand through his hair again. "We have to plan. And for all we know, they could already be dead."

The thought chills his blood.

* * *

A/N: All will be explained in due course, all things happen for a reason, reviews are welcomed.


	40. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer: Longest Authors note ever at the end.**

* * *

When my eyes open, I am in pain. There's dried blood on my hands, and it's staining the shirt I have on. I don't know where I am, or why I'm wherever I am. I lift my head up from the cold cement ground and find that I'm chained to the wall by my ankles. I have on grey t-shirts and grey pants, no undergarments. There's no windows or doors. It seems that I'm in a cell? But why?

It hits me like that. The rescue, the shot, I don't remember much after that. I gingerly lift my shirt up a bit to find a bandage over the place where I was shot. I wonder if it was cleaned.

A stream of light hits my eyes as a door that I can't see opens, and a man steps in. I recognize the smell and want to hurl.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? Looks like you've been a bad girl Ms. Undersee." He drawls on, and walks to me, standing above me and looking down. I don't respond. "No comment? That's fine, but I think you will want to tell us something by the end of the week." Week? How long am I going to be here. "Take her and then clean her." He says monotonously, and leaves, the light disappearing as three different people come in and strip me of my clothes. Harsh jets of water assault me and I hear myself scream as the water leaves red marks on my body. The workers roughly shove me back into my clothes before harshly leading me down a starch white hallway with several doors. I hear screaming. Peeta. Why is Peeta screaming?

They shove me into a room. All I see is a small mat on the floor, a latrine, one roll of toilet paper. Blood stained walls. Blood stained mat. The door snaps shut with a close and I stare around where I am. I'm a prisoner. For the Capitol.

I collapse to the ground as tears burn in my eyes. Where's Gale? Why isn't he with me? I want Gale. What's going on? I sit for an hour, until all my tears are gone. My face is salty and my cheeks chapped.

The door opens again and this time, three different people come in. They're peacekeepers. One of them gives me a shot of some sort while the others cackle.

"She's in for a treat, looking at her sheet." One of them chortles, flipping through some papers.

"Yeah." The one who shot my arm snorts. "It'll be... fun." I shiver from the way he says that. "When does is start, again?"

"Tomorrow morning, bright and early. You're lucky, girly. You get a break before the fun begins." One of them says, touching my shoulder. I go bite at him and he moves away, chortling again. "The others were not so lucky."

* * *

I haven't been able to sleep. I'm used to Gale being next to me that the space feels empty; I feel empty. Oh, and I'm sleeping on a mat on the floor. I keep tossing and turning and I can't get comfortable, plus I'm worried about what they're going to do to me. Around maybe three in the morning, someone stumbles into the cell next to mine. I slowly stand next up and look through the small window to find Johanna, shaking and dripping wet.

"Johanna!" I hiss and she looks up.

"So they got you too, huh?"

"Obviously, if I'm here." I whisper to her and she shakes. "What did they do to you?" She shakes her head.

"I'm fine. They can't break me. Whatever you do, don't tell them anything. Nothing. Got it?" She chokes and I nod before falling back onto the mat and staring at the ceiling.

The morning comes too soon before different Peacekeepers are coming into my room and dragging me to another room where I'm strapped to a chair and chains are tied around me. I'm really starting to freak out.

"So. You are here because why?" A voice asks, from somewhere."

I don't answer. The voice repeats, more forcefully. When I don't respond for the third time, he shocks me, the chair sending a course of electricity through my body. I yelp and the person chuckles. "Oh, I can make it worse. It can all stop if you just tell me why you're here."

"Because you captured me, brainless." I hiss, which earns me another shock, though this time, it's stronger.

There's some hushed whispering that I hear before a different voice comes on. A more forceful voice than the last, but calmer, somehow? "I think if we replay some... things, she might talk." I furrow my eyebrows when the screaming starts.

It takes me less than a second to realize who's screaming. It's Gale, and it sounds like he's being tortured.

"Gale!" I cry out, tears already in my eyes. I struggle to get out of the chains but I'm shocked again.

"Struggle and you will be vaporized before you can move again." The voice repeats, as the screaming stops. I can hear my heartbeat, and I'm wondering if they can too.

"You're a monster. All of you." I choke and I'm shocked again. This time, the scream lets out and echoes in the empty room.

"You can make this all end if you would just tell us where the others are hiding."

"I'd rather die."

"That can be arranged." The voice drawls on and on. I will not tell him. I don't even know. If I don't know, then they can't hope to get information out of me. If they can't get information out of me, I'm useless. And if I'm useless... They'll kill me. I have to make stuff up.

* * *

Seven hours later, I'm deposited back into my cell, bloody and shaking. Johanna is either not in her cell, or she is and she just doesn't want to talk to me. I slide down the bloody wall and my head falls into my trembling hands. Over and over again I had to hear people screaming, over and over again I was shocked.

Nearly ten minutes after I'm back in my cell, more Peacekeepers come to take me again. Now I'm really freaking out. I'm strapped to another chair and there's a television screen in front of me. Something is shot into my back and I'm forced to watch, I can't turn my eyes away from the screen as my own Games replay in front of me.

Everything, not just the replay, but every piece of it. With each passing second of the hour, I can feel myself slipping away, unable to keep my eyes open, but whatever they shot in my back is forcing me too. My screaming echoes through the room when Clove almost kills me. Even now, after seeing it and living it, it still hurts. When Gale comes on something else is shot into my back also. I don't know what it is.

This continues. Everytime Gale comes on, something is shot into my back. They're drugging me up, I think. This lasts throughout the Games. I can feel myself getting more tired by the minute, my eyelids start drooping, everything is fuzzy and then the television stops suddenly. My eyes jerk open as President Snow comes into view.

"Ms. Undersee, tomorrow you will be going on television. You will call a ceasefire in this war. You will not say anything about this. Answer the questions the way I would want them answered. Answer them wrongly, well, you don't want to know what's going to happen to you. Your worst fear, I imagine."

My worst fear. That's drowning, right? Or... No! They wouldn't. That's too low, even for them. But then again, they've done it before with other people. God, I'm feeling sick. I'm gonna hurl. I'm gonna hurl.

President Snow moves aside, but my puke lands on his shoes. He doesn't even try to disguise his disgust. "Take her away. She needs to prepare for her interview." He smiles sickly and then turns on his heel.

Peacekeepers come back and roughly drag me to my cell. "You will be taken early to prepare."

I fall onto the mat and press my shaking hands to my eyes. If I call a ceasefire, the rebels will want me dead. If I don't, I'm as good as dead.

"Undersee? You there?"

"Yeah." I call out shakily and stand back up slowly to see Johanna, even bloodier than earlier.

"What did they do to you? You look like you've died and then come back to life."

"I feel like I've died." I groan and rub my eyes. "They want me to call a ceasefire."

"Johanna diverts her eyes to mine. "Are you going too?"

"I have to. They'll kill me."

"They won't kill you, Princess. They'll use you, to lure people in. Besides, we all know that Hawthorne is probably going out of his mind right now. Don't call the ceasefire." She concludes, disappearing from my view.

I slide down the wall, taking deep breaths. I wonder what's going on wherever Gale is. I miss him. A lot. I want to feel safe again. The only place I feel safe anymore is in Gale's arms. I really don't feel safe here.

* * *

District 13 has been crazy. Gale's been a wreck. Mayor Undersee just doesn't know what to do. President Coin has been acting like nothing is wrong. Like there aren't people as prisoners in the Capitol, being tortured at that very moment.

The surviving people from the arena and the Victor's who got out are seated in a meeting room when the television flickers to life. Ceaser is on, talking about some special guest. Everyone wonders who it is.

"Maybe it's one of the people they captured." Gale can't help but hope that Madge is going to be the one on that screen. He blames himself for her being captured. The original plan was for him to go with Johanna, not Finnick. That was changed after Peeta was stabbed, but God only knows what's happening to him now. Who knows what's happening to anyone there. The thought of someone hurting Madge, _his_ Madge, makes his blood boil.

Ceaser continues to talk about something, but no one really pays attention. That is, until Madge comes on the screen. Maybe she looks fine, maybe she's acting like the Mayor's Daughter she was taught to be, but Gale knows she's not fine. He can see the fear and pain in her eyes when she looks at the camera. She looks empty, much like she did after her mom died.

His breath hitches when he sees her. They've only been separated for a few days, not even a few, and he already misses her like crazy. He woke up every hour last night with nightmares over what was happening to her. In the compartment his family was assigned, the bed seems to large without Madge lying next to him.

Katniss nudges Gale and he focuses on Madge's words. She'd struggling to figure something out; usually she knows exactly what to say.

"Is there anything you would like to say to the rebels?" Madge hesitates.

"I-I don't know."

"Oh, come on, there must be something."

She takes a breath and it seems that everyone in the room is also holding their breath. She turns to face the camera and speaks clearly, "I know that there is a war on it's way. I'm not blind nor am I deaf. I've seen the signs, as has everyone else in Panem. I'm not asking to stop fighting, because that wouldn't do anyone any good. I am asking to _keep_ fighting, though. Don't worry about us-" Her microphone is cut from the feed and everyone in this conference room stares at the screen in horror as the camera goes to film the ground and Madge's screaming is shrill in their ears.

"Gale! Help!" Madge screams, and then she's silent.

Haymitch stands at the same time Gale does, though Gale beats him to it. "We're getting them out. Now."

"We can not get them out now, Soldier Hawthorne, we don't have authorization for it," Coin begins but Gale cuts her off.

"Do you honestly think I care about whether or not we're authorized? We're getting them out. Did you see how empty she looked? They've only been there not even two days and they're already changing them."

"Soldier Hawthorne, we need to prepare-"

"Then prepare."

* * *

_A/N: I'm getting this up pretty quickly because well I don't really know. I always figured that if Katniss had been the one captured, Peeta would've been more persistent to get them out, so that's where I'm coming from with Gale and his persistanceness (Is that even a word, I don't know?). So obviously Madge screwed up big time. **MUST**** READ:**** Notice this is all bolded, italicized, and underlined, so you MUST READ because it MUST be important. So coming up, possibly very soon, something is going to happen that a lot of people may be upset about. A bunch of people have already given me crap about what I put in this story, and I would just like to say that it's my story and it will get better because I'm not that mean to make it end completely horribly. Not everything will be rainbows and unicorns. That being said, if you have criticism to what I put in it, please PM me instead of putting in a review because in a PM I can hear your full thoughts, not just someone screaming at me.** _

_I still very much appreciate the reviewing, just not a lot of crap given to me. It doesn't exactly encourage a writer to write more when you get bad feedback or no feedback at all. Sorry about the horribly long author's note, my ranting, and taking my anger out on you lovely readers. _


	41. Chapter 41

**Disclaimer: Here's the part where you'll _really_ hate me.**

* * *

Days pass. Every morning, I'm taken to the same room where they play the same things over and over again. As it goes on, I find it harder to remember the Games, or Gale for that matter. Every time I'm taken back to my cell, it takes Johanna longer and longer to convince me that I was in the Games. Ever longer to convince me that I love Gale. After a while, I can't remember who he is. I don't even remember anything from the Games.

About an hour after that ends, I'm taken and I'm tortured for information that I can't give. They've shocked me, tried to drown me, beat me, but I can't give them information. I can't. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. After they've finished torturing me, the worst happens. It's unspeakable, really.

The first night it happened was the night after I was in an interview, I think I said something that I wasn't supposed to say. I don't know. Like I said, I don't know anything anymore. I'm taken from my cell in the dead of the night. The peacekeepers lead me down a different hallway until I'm deposited into another room, where three people clean me. They shoot something into my arm. Then they're gone. My eyes search the room. All that's in the room is a bed and a steel door.

Do you know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when something bad is going to happen? That feeling came. I'm just shrinking to the ground when the steel door opens. I consider making a break for it, but then don't. The man who enters looks oddly familiar. I can't figure out why.

He gives me a sick grin that I can't seem to place and then he's kicking off his boot and I'm feeling sick.

"I've been waiting for this for a long time, girly." I know what he's going to do and I don't like it one bit. I'm feeling light-headed as I slowly start to move away from the man and I'm feeling nauseous, my skin is crawling. I close my eyes and grasp my hands tightly over my ears so I can't hear the footsteps walking toward me or the clothes hitting the floor.

The man lifts me off of the ground and I screech and sink my teeth into his hand. He curses and drops me on the bed. I know what's about to happen. God, I know. I don't want to believe it though.

* * *

When I come too again, I'm not in the room. I'm back in the cell, shaking. I know what they did to me. They have for four nights now. I haven't spoken for four nights. Whenever the woman in the cell, I think she's Johanna Mason, though I don't know why she's here too, next to me tries to talk, I refuse to respond and don't listen. I think she gives up on me, but then she starts talking.

"What on earth are they doing to you, Undersee?" I shake my head and continue to rock back and forth on all fours. "Give me a hint. Torture? Emotional abuse?" I nod and she continues. "Physical?" I nod again and she pauses. "Sexual abuse?" I slowly nod my head and she's silents herself.

"Goddammit!" She shouts out and stares down at me. "Oh, Hawthorne's going to do a nut." Hawthorne? I know one Hawthorne and he's twelve. Rory, I think. I know there's two more kids, I think. I'm not sure.

I stare at Johanna and she sighs. "Hawthorne? Gale? The guy you love?" When I don't respond, she shouts out again. "They're brainwashing you too. Great. Just great. This is just wonderful."

I stare at her. "Nothing? At all? Even better." I crawl away from where she can still see me and collapse on the mat that has become more bloodstained as the days go on.

* * *

Two weeks later, I have become a mute avox. I don't speak, I don't move unless I'm forced, I don't even answer anyone's questions anymore. I'm unable too. Screaming echoes in my head. Mine, Johanna's, even a man's that I don't know. And Peeta's. Peeta's is bad too.

The process is the same. Abuse, abuse, and more abuse. The worst is the night session. It alternates between two men. One who's a peacekeeper and the other who came the first night. Why do peacekeepers have zippers instead of buttons? It makes it too easy. I know that at home there's old Cray, who has starving girls outside of his door. I don't know who either of them are. It gets worse every time. My body can't take the abuse much longer, or the being forced into it. I'm no longer a virgin. It takes me a while to realize what is actually happening to me.

It hits me after I've been returned to my room after being here for two weeks. Rape. That's what's happening to me every night. It makes me feel sick and I vomit right into the center of the floor and then start to sob. I'm beginning to wonder how I'm not pregnant yet. Maybe it's because of that shot they gave me. I don't know. I don't know anymore. I hear Johanna sigh from the other cell.

"I'm sure we'll be out of here soon." She sounds so confident, I don't know whether to believe her.

The next morning, I'm in the emotional part, and I find that I no longer know who is on the screen. The screaming I'm used to now. It still echoes even after the session is over. I do figure out that for some reason, Peeta and Primrose are on the screen.

This is all confusing. In the physical session, I'm whipped every time I can't answer a question. They lash on my ankles and wrists. I'm shocked when I don't respond. I lose count after about twenty. I'm nearly drowned in between each question. They keep asking 'where are they?' and 'why are they there?' and I don't know who they're talking about so I can't answer.

The blood on the mat on the floor is becoming over powering to everything else and I see blood in my dreams.

* * *

I've just finished my night session and am pulling my clothes back on with shaking hands when the dim lights above me flicker. They turn off completely. I'm submerged in total darkness. I finish pulling my clothes back on and slide into the corner, away from that bed, and wait. The lights come back on. Sirens start blaring. I hear shouting and screaming and gunshots.

Slowly, I crawl to the door just as it slams open, someone coming in, someone I don't know.

"Undersee!" They shout and then haul me up. "I got Undersee." They say into a talkie thing on their shoulder. I don't like them touching me. I attempt to shake them off but their grip on my wrist is tight. My legs give out beneath me and I fall. The person groans before hauling me up into their arms. I start to screech, trying to get away from the person, because they will hurt me, they will, I know they will.

"Damnit, Undersee! Stay still and you may get out of here alive!" I can't stay still because they will hurt me or something, I don't want to be hurt anymore!

"Just gas her, it's the only way to get her out of here." The last thing I see is two boys, one blonde, and one with dark skin and dark hair, both beaten to death, lugged out of rooms and then the gas mask is on my face and I pass out.

* * *

When I come too again, I'm moving. Rolling, in fact. I'm in a rolling bed. There's shouting all around and I hear someone yell "Finnick!" and more yelling. I open my groggy eyes to see that I'm being moved into another hospital room. Or, at least I think it's a hospital room. There's more yelling. And then hurried arguments. And more yelling. I don't know where I am, or what's going on at the moment.

And I'm out again.

When I open my eyes again, I see two people standing above me in the room I'm in. Instantly, my instinct is to back away. But then I notice that the two people are women. Women won't hurt me, right?

"Oh." One says, turning toward me. She looks oddly familiar. I don't know why, though. "She's up." I notice I'm strapped to the bed. I don't like this. Not one bit.

The other one, the one who isn't familiar, grabs a clipboard and sits down in a chair next to the bed. I can't move, or I would be as far away from them as I could be.

"What is your name?" _Madge. _I stare at them blankly. They stare back, and then one jots something down.

"How old are you?" _Sixteen. _I stare again and they begin to look panicked.

"Where are you from?" _District 12._ "Did they cut out her tongue?"

"We checked. They didn't."

"Then why isn't she talking?"

"I don't know. Try something else." The one with the clipboard says, pen poised and ready to write.

"Okay. Who was reaped for the 74th Hunger Games?" Reaped? I thought the Reaping was today. Yeah. Today was the Reaping for the 74th Hunger Games. Why are they asking me who was reaped if it hasn't happened yet?

This is where panic really begins to set into the doctors. "Get Abernathy. Don't let the boy in." Abernathy? As in _Haymitch_ Abernathy? The drunk? Why would I want him to come in? And who's the boy? The only boy I know is Peeta Mellark and I don't know where he is.

The nurse who looks familiar leaves. There's arguing outside of the door, and then Haymitch Abernathy himself comes in. He looks... sober. I nearly snort. That's a first.

"Hey, sweetheart." He says gently, slowly moving toward me. My eyes widen and I struggle to get out of the bonds on the bed. It's no use. "Sweetheart, we need you to talk." I keep struggling until he stops moving.

"This is getting no where. The only way she's going to talk is if he comes in." He rubs his eyes and turns on his heel. A moment later, a man comes in. He has dark hair, tan skin, grey eyes. His face softens when he sets eyes on me. Looks like Rory Hawthorne. Though, I can't figure out why. He slowly walks across the room, as if not to startle me. It's scaring me though.

"Madge," He starts and gingerly sits down on the edge of the bed, as I scramble to get away. "What's wrong with her?" He snaps, looking at the doctor.

"Gale, we don't know. She won't talk. That's why you're here."

He turns back to me. "Madge?" He says gently, "Say something."

"We're assuming that when Johanna or Annie can talk. They will probably know what happened to her."

The mans voice gets an edge of panic. "What do you think they did to her?"

"We don't know. Anything. By the looks of her, a lot of abuse." I cringe inwardly. Yeah. Abuse. If that's even the word now. I don't like that they're talking about me like I'm not in the room. Why are they? Why are they all freaking out? I'm just me. I'm not anyone of importance. I'm no one.

* * *

_A/N: So it didn't turn out as bad as I thought it was going too. But I was planning on keeping her there for several chapters but I dunno. Seemed I covered it. Anyways, review! I'm going out of town for Thanksgiving to the Cayman Islands in the Caribbean (woot woot!) and I won't have access to a computer. This will be the last update until next weekend, but I will be thinking of the next chapter and what's going in it. What do y'all think? Anything good? Hate it? Love it? Thoughts are good c:_


	42. Chapter 42

**Disclaimer: There must be rain for the rainbow. Remember that for basically the rest of the story.**

* * *

"Have you actually heard the full extent of her torture?"

"No. I know about the whole memory thing, but after that I don't know." Voices are talking in my room. They must think I'm asleep. Or I'm imagining it all. I don't know.

"Do you want to know?"

"Hell yes." It's the man who freaked out when I wouldn't talk. No one would tell me who it was. The other one is Finnick Odair. I don't know why he's here.

"Okay. Warning you now, you're gonna probably yell. In the morning, she's get the memory thing where she'd forget everything from the past year and a half or so. So the last thing she actually remembers is falling asleep the night before the reaping of the 74th Hunger Games, when you two were reaped." Reaped? I wasn't reaped.

"Go on."

"Then, in the afternoon, it'd be the physical abuse. They'd torture her for information that she didn't know. I'm glad you didn't tell her anything or otherwise, we'd all most likely be dead. And then..." Finnick trails off and the other man speaks.

"And then what?"

"I, well, this is where you might start yelling and cursing and you might wake up the whole District, not to mention her, and she will freak out."

"Just tell me, Odair." The man growls at him. "I can take it."

"Fine, Gale, but don't say I didn't warn you. What's her worst fear, besides drowning?"

"Besides drowning? That's..." A pause. "You're kidding. Please tell me it's not what I'm thinking of." There is genuine panic in his voice.

Finnick starts slow, as if debating whether to tell him, but does. "There's a very good reason why she's not talking or freaks out whenever someone touches her. Johanna was able to tell me when she wasn't under morphling. She has been touched and abused so badly that she doesn't know what to do anymore. She stopped talking after the first night it happened and apparently has lost the ability too. Do you understand what has happened to her?"

"Was... was she just touched or..."

"The whole shabang. You know what I'm saying." Finnick sounds upset.

Deafening silence hits my ears next. There is not a word uttered by either of the men. My ears strain for some type of noise, recognition that they're here.

"For how long?" The flatness in Gale's voice does not hide the rage I can tell is there.

"From the night she gave that interview."

More silence. "It's my fault that she was there in the first place. If we had stuck to the plan in the first place, she would have been here safe, and I would've been tortured. I wish that would've happened."

"You can't blame yourself. We thought it was going to be better that way."

"Well you thought wrong." Gale snaps at him.

"We couldn't have known that people were going to get captured! Now you see why no one wanted you to come in here in the first place! Peeta nearly killed Katniss, when all he did was go into an arena, who could've imagined what they did to her, when she helped start a rebellion." A rebellion. Huh?

"I would've still wanted to come in here, even if she had tried to strangle me. I wouldn't care. You don't get it, Odair. She's it for me. There's no one else. She's the only one who understands what even went on."

"You might want to think that through. If she ever gets back to herself, she'll be so emotionally damaged that she most likely won't even be able to think."

"And how do you know?"

"I've lived with Annie for the past four years. You learn about insanity over the years."

"So now you're calling her insane? She hasn't even talked!" Gale asks him rudely, and Finnick struggles.

"I'm just saying that she won't be the same. She'll be different. Have relapses a lot. Maybe won't ever remember the Games or anything you two have been through." The door opens and someone either leaves or enters. I hear someone sigh deeply and then sit down on the edge of the bed. It takes all I have not to flinch or move or anything.

"I miss you, Madge. A lot. These past weeks have been miserable for me. I haven't been able to sleep." He pauses, and I know that it's Gale now, whoever that is. "Everyone listening probably thinks that I'm crazy because I'm talking to you and you're asleep but I don't care. It should've been me who was there, not you. I really do blame myself. I'm sorry, Madge. I really am."

* * *

I wake shivering and sweating. There was a girl. Who was killed by a pink bird. A lot of screaming and blood. Flowers. I wasn't watching it though. It's like I was doing it. I don't know where it came from.

More doctors come in and try to coax me into talking, eating or anything for that matter. I think they work on my injuries while I'm sleeping or knocked out, because every time I wake up, I seem to be cleaner and healthier.

I'm beginning to wonder where my mother and father are. I haven't seen either of them. I'm about to fall asleep when the door opens and in comes my father.

"Hey, sweetie." He says gently, crossing the room and sitting in the chair next to the bed. I stare at him until he speaks. "They told me you weren't going to talk. Just listen. Things are different now. I know that you think you're still sixteen and the reaping hasn't happened but it has and you're seventeen." How has the reaping happened? It was supposed to be yesterday or something. I don't know. And since when have I been seventeen? Last I checked I was sixteen.

The door opens. "Kellen. Come out here for a minute." Haymitch Abernathy barks and my dad stands and leaves. There is some hurried whispers outside and then Haymitch comes in instead of my dad. Where is he?

"I know you've been through a lot. We know you have, we know what happened to you and we're going to help. We're not going to get anywhere though if you sit there all damn day doing nothing and saying nothing. The only way you're going to get even close to better is if you try to get better because I know that someone is trying as hard as hell to get you back to who you were." Who's that?

I stare. "Nothing? Really? Do you not want to remember anything that's happened?" No response from me. That happened? What happened? "Listen, sweetheart. I know it's hard. It is, it really is. But you have to fight. You've fought before and I really hope you don't give up." Haymitch sighs and straightens up in his chair.

"President Coin expects you out of bed by the end of the week. Hope you know what's good for you, or you'll be in a lot more trouble than you are now." He stands and motions someone in. Not just one person, but two. My dad and.. Gale? He's the one who freaked out when I wouldn't talk. Yeah. That's who he is. He's looking at me with such intensity and gentlness at the same time as my dad speaks. Gale stays near the door.

"Sweetie, listen. We need to talk about some stuff. I know that you think you're sixteen and that the reaping hasn't happened yet, but it has. The reaping did happen and your name came out of the bowl. Effie Trinket pulled it out. You didn't know what to do, I think. I didn't either. And then when the other name was called I knew it was going to be a longshot for you to come out of the arena. We're trying to get you a tape to watch but..."

"I don't want her to watch it. I already said that." Gale growls from the shadows by the door.

"Well do you want her to remember? They erased every memory of you even before the Games so she doesn't even know who you are. She knows who Rory is and the rest of them, but not you. It is the only way, Gale." My dad snaps at him and Gale glares at the back of his head. There's more silence. I'm debating whether to actually attempt to speak or not when my dad speaks again.

"A lot happened in the Games. A lot more than I even want to attempt to talk about. That's not for me to talk about with you. That's his job." He jabs his thumb backwards to Gale, who's still lurking in the shadows. It takes me a moment to realize something. If Gale's the one who can talk about it then... Was he my district partner? How did we both get out then? There's only one Victor... right?

He lumbers forward slowly and I notice the bags under his eyes, plus the disheveled black hair. I guess he really is tired. He looks tired. He stands slightly next to the bed I'm in, careful not to touch anything close to me, or otherwise I'll freak out and be pulled under the morphling again. Man, I hate that stuff. My mom uses it. speaking of my mom, where is she?

Gale slowly sits on the bed by my feet and I pull my legs up and wrap my arms around them. He sighs and rubs his eyes. "This is getting no where. Why am I even in here if we're not even going to know if she's listening?"

"You haven't even tried. Besides you aren't just going to give up. I know you won't because you love her." My eyes bug out of my head. This man, Gale, loves me. I don't even know who he is! He can't love me!

"You had to say that now? Of all times? Now?"

"It was just to encourage you." My dad says and then leaves the room, leaving me and Gale alone. I pull my knees tighter around me and he sighs.

"I really don't know where to start. So much has happened since the Reaping." He pauses. And then he explains. He tells me everything that had happened. From the arena being a forest, to a young girl being killed by a bird. I jump when he says that. He stops and looks at me as I try to decode my dream from earlier. Could that be the girl?

"Sound familiar?" I don't move. I think that this is hard for him to talk about. I feel my cheeks heat up when he talks about us kissing during the Games. I don't remember any of this. I really don't. It all sounds foreign to me, nothing is familiar. He doesn't meet my eyes when he's talking about any of this, just stares at his hands.

He keeps fiddling with his fingers and I keep watching it. It's oddly intriguing. The thoughts are becoming to much. There are too many questions, too many thoughts, just too many. I don't know whether to believe any of it, I don't know this man at all. I'm not sure of anything anymore.

I collapse backwards and use the covers to cover up my head. I don't want to hear anymore about how I've apparently killed people or fell in love with someone I don't even know. This is crazy.

* * *

It's been a few days and I'm supposed to go meet with whoever this President Coin is. I haven't moved, I haven't spoken, I haven't done anything. People come to see me, but I don't move. Gale, Haymitch, my dad, and the rest of the Hawthorne family come to see me. The youngest girl in the family tries to jump at me to give me a hug but one of them holds her back.

Haymitch comes to see me the day I'm supposed to see President Coin. "Sweetheart, they've deemed you insane." He forces out and I meet his eyes and know it's true. I guess I've brought this on myself by not talking, trapping myself in my own mind.

I wonder if anyone will treat me differently since I'm insane. People haven't been acting like I'm a human since I got here, anyways. Except for the people who've come to visit me, and they still keep their distance. I guess it's because I don't let people touch me. Or it's the fact that I don't even register that they're talking to me. I don't know. Nothing makes sense anymore.

I'm starting to wish that I would've died in the Hunger Games, if that's even true, or in the prisons where I was tortured. Why does this feeling feel so familiar?

* * *

_A/N: So I know it looks reeeaaaalllyyyy bad right now, but it will get better. That is my promise that this story will have a happy ending no matter how bad it will seem. There are some rough times ahead and it's going to seem hopeless but it will be fine. Trust me. And about the whole Madge-deemed-insane thing, that will make more sense later. So, thoughts? Comments? Hate it, love it? I like to hear your thoughts! _


	43. Chapter 43

They take me to see President Coin anyways. I'm drugged and then forced to walk down there. The bracelet on my wrist now says 'Mentally Insane'. I try not to stare at it. I'm accompanied by my dad and Haymitch. Haymitch says that my dad won't be able to go in with me, just Haymitch.

When I'm forced to walk in, I see that I'm not the only person. There are several other people in the room, all sitting in chairs. I swallow thickly and look at the faces. Haymitch, Finnick Odair, Katniss, some other people I don't know, and Gale. His eyes flick to my wrist with the bracelet and then he looks away.

"Ah. Ms. Undersee. How nice of you to finally join us." Haymitch motions for me to sit in the chair next to him and slowly I move, with all eyes on me. Gale's the only one who's not looking at me. I sit down stiffly in the chair and someone speaks. I jerk my eyes from the table to look at the women talking. Maybe mid-fifties, short, cold grey eyes. Graying hair is pulled back in a tight bun. This women means business.

"Well, as we have everyone here now, finally, we can begin."

"Coin, do you honestly expect her to participate?" Haymitch asks and Coin shoots him a glare that could liquify someone's kidneys.

"I'm the President, Abernathy, get used to my decisions." I listen to the two of them bickering for a little and then I'm addressed.

"Patient Undersee. Do you know why we're fighting?" Fighting?

"President Coin, she doesn't know-" Katniss starts but this so-called president, Coin, cuts her off.

"Soldier Everdeen, I would suggest that you stop talking and let me handle the talking." Katniss silences herself and glances at Gale, who seems determined not to look up.

"Do you know why we're fighting?" I stare. And stare some more until she groans. "If she doesn't know, we have to send her somewhere. It will help her know why we're fighting."

Gale suddenly speaks. "You know what happened last time we went somewhere, Coin. It's a bad idea."

"Soldier Hawthorne, it's my decision."

"It's my damn decision too. You aren't going to send any of us, especially her, to a place where we could get blown up the minute we set foot in the district."

"How do you know that you're going to get yourself blown up the minute we land there? I didn't finish my thought. You are all going to District 8 and then 12. Suit up." Everyone else stands except me and Coin. "Undersee. Come here." Slowly I stand and walk to the other end of the table where she waits. I can sense a pair of eyes on me as I walk. I glance around to find Gale staring at me. When I get to Coin, she speaks.

"Hold out your arm, please." I don't move; I don't want this woman touching me. "I said, hold out your arm." She growls and Haymitch forces me to do so. When her cold fingers graze my wrist where I was whipped and where the bracelet is, I flinch and try to move away. She reads the bracelet.

"Oh, that's a shame." I think she's talking about me being insane. "You're still going. They need to know that you are alive." I swallow and she releases me, walking out. I look up to find Gale staring at my wrist now, looking puzzled. I wonder if he knows that I'm insane. I wonder if he'll still love me like everyone else says he will. I wonder what actually happened between us, if anything.

* * *

An hour later, I'm shoved in some suit, apparently made by some man named Cinna, with my aunts pin, which I don't know why I have it, in a hovercraft. I feel claustrophobic. It feels like I've been on a hovercraft before and I didn't like it. Haymitch talks to me in an undertone about our plan.

"Okay, so what's going to happen is that you and some others are going to go into the bomb shelter. It's not going to be pretty, I'm not going to try to lie. Just follow Katniss got it?" I find Katniss on the hovercraft talking to Gale in an undertone. That doesn't sit well with me. I don't know why.

A man comes over and gives me a chip to put in my ear. Says that it will allow me to hear him and Haymitch at all times while we're down there. His name is Boggs, I think.

We land about twenty minutes later in District 8. It isn't pretty. Dead people are everywhere, buildings are crumbling into ash, fires are still raging on. My eyes are wide as we walk to meet someone. Her name is Paylor, I think. She leads us to the hospital where all these people are. Katniss goes behind the screen and I follow slowly.

The first thing that hits me is the smell. Then the sight of a lot of blood. There are people missing limbs, bleeding thoroughly, dying right there in front of me. This can't be healthy, I think to myself. There are flies everywhere, and the steamy air certainly can't be good for these people. They notice us pretty quickly. A small child, maybe not even four, calls to his mother, saying that we're here. His mother, a pregnant women who looks like she could burst at any moment, stares at us and then smiles, only like a mother could.

"They're here! They're alive!" People start to shout out and I hear cheering. I feel like I'm going to pass out. These people know me, but I don't know them. I'm so confused. Katniss slows in front of me as I force a smile and allow the people to touch me. It's hard, because it feels like they're going to abuse me if they do touch me. From behind me I feel someone run into me as Katniss stops again. It's Gale and I jump away quickly, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Sorry." He grunts and doesn't look at me. If he loves me, then why is he acting so cold toward me? I don't understand. We make our way through the rest of the 'hospital' and make it outside. Once we are outside, I slide down a wall and press my hands to my eyes, trying to rid myself of what I just saw. That was hard.

Someone crouches down next to me. "You okay?" I open my eyes to find Katniss in front of me. I nod slightly and stand. That's when I hear the buzzing. Boggs hears it too and tells everyone to shut up. We do and the buzzing gets louder.

"They know we're here." Boggs mutters under his breath, just as the first bomb drops.

Right onto the hospital. The blast blows us all backwards and someone lands on top of me, as to shield me from the debris. I open my eyes to find Gale is the one shielding me as the bombs drop all around us. He shields my head and face as the bombs fall. I want him to stop. It feels like he's going to abuse me. This is what the other men did.

"We have to go!" I hear someone bellow and Gale falls off of me, stringing his bow and latching an arrow. He glances to me as I stand and squint at the bombs as more rain down. I guess I'm not mentally sane enough to carry a weapon to protect myself even though were in a bombing zone. We all start running and dodging and jumping and my body, which has been abused and tortured, cannot take this. I'm starting to slow down a bit when Haymitch's voice crackles to life in my ear.

"Sweetheart, there's a man advancing on you with a gun. Keep running. We think he's on the Capitol's side. Don't stop." This makes me go faster. I try to keep Katniss's head in sight, but the smoke is getting to me and I can't breathe, I can't see, until a gun is pointed into my back. I freeze and Haymitch is back in my ear.

"Don't move. They're going to help." The man grabs on to my arm keeping me here. I do the only thing I can think to do. I scream. The man jabs his elbow into my windpipe and I have to stop. I hear footsteps and then a point of an arrow appears out of smoke. Then two. Katniss and Gale.

"I'll shoot her. I will." The man pointing the gun in my back says. He's shaking.

"I swear to God I will kill you if you shoot her!" Gale's voice comes and he sounds angry.

"She needs to die. If she would've died then we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"You shoot her, and you're dead before she hits the ground." Gale's eyes meet mine and he looks enraged. I'm sure I look terrified.

"Someone needs to die! Either her or you. She's the one I'm going to shoot. She _needs_ to die."

"I swear to God, I will kill you if you hurt her. Dammit, I swear I will!" I can tell that he means it.

"If you shoot me, I shoot her going down. You wait, I still shoot her. Either way, she dies. Take your pick." This is obviously hard for him. Either way, I will die. He looks at me and gives me a look; one I can't quite place.

He makes a split-second decision and lowers the bow slightly. A shot rips through the chaos and I fall, my back already bleeding and hurting. The man falls next to me, dead. There's an arrow protruding from his chest. I can't see, I can't move, I can't think.

I hear screaming and yelling and I don't know what's going on, all I know is that I was shot and I'm going to die.

"Dammit, Madge, don't die. I've already lost you once, I can't lose you again." Is the last thing I register.

* * *

I wake to yelling. Lots of yelling.

"I don't want her a part of this anymore."

"You don't make the decisions around here, Soldier Hawthorne."

"I do when they involve her!" He yells back to who I think is President Coin.

"You are not the President of this district. I am. I make the decisions."

"No, you don't! Now with someone you don't even know!"

"She has been declared insane, Soldier Hawthorne. You don't know her anymore." Coin speaks coldly.

Silence for a minute. "She is not insane." He growls out, "She is not insane." But I am. I've been deemed insane, haven't I?

"She is. She has not spoken for weeks. She's been trapping herself in her mind, driving herself crazy. She doesn't let anyone touch her, nor does she even register that people talk to her. She is not the girl you knew." No, I'm not, because he doesn't know me.

"Goddammit, she's still in there! She won't give up, I know she won't."

"Soldier Hawthorne, she is going to be involved in this war effort no matter what you say or do to try to get her out of it." They notice that I'm awake and Coin frowns at me. "Get better soon, Soldier Undersee." I swallow and Gale runs his hands through his hair and lets out a stream of curse words. I stare down at my lap and he paces the room, muttering under his breath. I twist the hospital bracelet on my wrist and he stops pacing and stares at me.

He starts to move to the chair next to the bed and I swallow, preparing to move away. "Let me see it." He says gently, reaching for the hand with the bracelet and I rip it out of his grip. "I'm not going to hurt you. I swear I won't." He pleads and I swallow. Even that hurts. I have some bandages wrapped around my back and stomach. I wonder how bad the shot was. He meets my eyes and I chew the inside of my cheek. "Trust me." And for some reason, I feel like I do.

I hardly know him. Why do I feel like I trust him when I don't know him? I swallow again and move my hand slightly. He takes it, and I flinch and go to move it back. He doesn't let me, though. He's gentle, careful not to make me think that he's going to hurt me. He reads the bracelet that states me insane in silence. He runs his fingers over the whip scars on my wrists in silence. I watch his face as I try really hard not to pull my hand away. It's hard not too, given the fact that I was abused repeatedly. His eyes search over the scars and he studies each one carefully, as if trying to decode something. He stares at the bracelet again, twisting it around his finger, as if he wants to rip it off.

It becomes too much and I jerk my hand away and chew my lip. He stands quickly and goes to the door. "I don't think you're insane, by the way." Then he's gone.

I'm so confused right now. I don't know what to do, frankly. I sit up, despite the pain that erupts in my back and pull my knees up to my chest and tears burn in my eyes. I press the heels of my hands to eyes to try to block the tears. Why was it me? Why was I the one who had to get tortured? What did I even do to cause this? The answer to my question comes the next morning.

* * *

_A/N: I know this is a fast update, but I really wanted to get it up so I would have a lot of time to work on the next one because it's important. Anyways, Madge is going through a really bad time at the moment, and doesn't know what to do, really. I got a review about them worrying that there wouldn't be anymore Gadge moments, but I can't do that to y'all. I love Gale and Madge too much. Thoughts? Hate it? I like it, so that's all that matters to me c:_


	44. Chapter 44

**Disclaimer: I'm trying something new at the end. You'll see.**

* * *

I'm watching a replay of the Games I was in, according to Haymitch and my father. I want to tear my eyes away as a blonde boy and Gale start fighting, while me, the one on screen who I'm not sure is actually me, hangs from a cliff. I don't really know what to think when a cannon blows. That symbolizes a death of a tribute. The blonde boy was the one who died. Gale, who looks pretty bloody at the moment, pulls me up and smothers the on-camera me in his arms, saying something about how we won.

That's impossible, there can't be two winners. Only one lives, right? The announcers say something about only one Victor is allowed and we both look horrified. I'm so utterly confused right now. The on-screen me starts to tell Gale to just kill me and he refuses, saying that there are going to be two Victors. He disappears into the forest as the girl who they say is me, starts to look like she's going to pass out. Gale comes back and stands me up, and hands me a few berries. They're nightlock. You're dead instantly.

Gale tells the me on screen that they're going to eat the berries together, so a double suicide. He presses his lips onto mine and I feel my face burn and I look down. I hear the announcer announce us the winners.

"And that, sweetheart, is why there's a rebellion." Haymitch says out-loud and stands. "The Capitol did not like being defied. So, they set everything against the two of you. That's why you were tortured." I swallow and he sighs. "There's probably something else you should know. About your mother." I jerk my head up. Where is my mother? "President Snow, well, this isn't for me to tell, actually. Hawthorne would tell you but..." He trails off. I've learned that Gale is related to Rory and the other ones. "Nevermind. He gets mad about it. Anyways, President Snow found that you were very.. desirable during the Games and wanted to sell your body to men in the Capitol, despite Gale loving you."

I stare, and try to process that. So, he was going to sell me. That doesn't sit well. "And you refused, basically. So, about a month before your Victory Tour, which needs to be talked about, your mother was killed." Way to be subtle. My jaw drops instantly. My.. my moms dead? No, that can't be right. I want for him to say 'Just joking', but he doesn't. I pull the covers above my head and tears leak out. I know that my mom wasn't in my life for a while, but she is-or was-my mom.

Haymitch continues. "You fell into a depression for a couple weeks after. Wouldn't eat, sleep, anything. Scared the hell out of all of us, especially Hawthorne." Where is all of this coming from? I don't know what to believe. Haymitch keeps talking and I want him to go away. I open my mouth to say something and try to form words, but I can't. I know what I want to say, and how the words sound, but I literally can't get them out.

Haymitch groans and I hear the door open. "You need to talk again. A lot of people are either getting upset or worried." The door closes and then silence. I'm alone.

I try to process what I just heard. Basically, in the short version, I helped start a rebellion, fell in love with a man I don't even know, my mother was killed because I refused to be prostitued, and I scared the hell out of a lot of people. Lovely. That's great.

* * *

I can't sleep. I've been tossing and turning for hours, despite the pain in my lower back from where I was shot. I really don't know what to do. I want to get out of this stupid room and out of this stupid hospital. But, I realized in my hours of not sleeping, that the only way I'm going to get out here is if I talk again and if I prove I'm not insane. The thing is, I'm not sure if I am or not. Gale doesn't think I am. I don't know what my dad thinks. Even if I'm not, I'm sure people have heard about it and will not want to come within twenty feet of me.

I sit up, with pain shooting through my back, and rub my eyes. Sleeping is impossible. Even if I can fall asleep, I'll be plauged with nightmares from torture and apparently the Games. The most current one is a girl with a knife cutting my arm off. I don't remember this, nor anything else that happens in my nightmares.

Haymitch comes everyday to talk to me and see if I will talk. I've come close, but I've never actually been able to get the words out. I've tried, I have really tried, I just can't. My dad has the theory that I've become a mute avox, that I no longer know how to talk because of the torture I went through. Haymitch shot down that idea, saying that I could still talk, just I wasn't ready.

Gale hasn't come since he and President Coin were arguing a few days ago. He probably does think I'm insane. I probably am, though. That's what the bracelet on my wrist says. That's what the doctor's have claimed. I really do wonder how they decided that. I know for a fact that people are watching me every waking hour of the day. Haymitch told me in an undertone.

The next morning, I have still not succeeded in falling asleep. Is this what and Insane person feels like? Is this what Annie Cresta feels like? I wonder. I'm staring up at the ceiling when the door opens. I don't really feel like turning my head, until I hear two sets of soft footsteps.

I do turn my head, and I see two young children. A girl, with bright green eyes and a boy with the same eyes. They look familiar. There's a tall woman standing behind them, and Gale's at the door.

The boy looks at me and smiles. He must be only three, or four. The girl grins, revealing two front teeth missing. The woman above them gives me a sad smile.

"I know you won't answer, but these two are some of the only kids who got out from the Community Home. They've been begging to come see you forever." The boy climbs into the chair clumsily and the girl stands next to him, clutching his chubby toddler hand.

The boy, out of no where, starts jabbering about District 13 and everything here. I'm overwhelmed. The girl tries to silent him and he doesn't listen, instead keeps chirping on about where he lives and such and how he hopes he'll get adopted soon, and my heart is breaking. This boy and girl don't have parents? Where are they? Why does the girl look slightly familiar?

"Kai, I told you. She doesn't know." Gale speaks from the door before moving towards the two children and the woman standing above them.

"But she's sitting there. She has to know!"

"Kai, she doesn't." The girl speaks quietly and the boy looks crestfallen. She turns to me and frowns before speaking. "You said you'd come back. You didn't come back." I'm so confused.

"Eva." Gale starts and I look at him. How do I know these children? I want to ask. But I don't.

The woman speaks. "We should probably get back now. Curfew's soon, anyways." She takes the boy's hand and leads him out the door while the girl stares at me a little longer before sighing and following.

The door shuts with a snap and it's just me and Gale. He sighs before talking. "They've had a hard year. They knew us before we left to go mentor for the 75th Games. You told Eva that you'd come back." I must look puzzled because he continues. "Her sister was in the Games a few years back. I think she was worried that you would leave and not come back, like her sister did."

When I don't respond, he speaks again. "You're killing me here, Madge. I can hardly sleep." He frowns and rubs his eyes, looking down at the ground.

"Why?" I speak for the first time in weeks. My voice is scratchy and quiet. Hallow, even. It doesn't sound like the me I remember. He glances up, eyes wide.

"Did.. You just... What?" He sputters, staring at me.

I try to formulate the word again. "Why."

He goes to respond and his voice is shaking. "You just talked. Oh my God." He stares at me in shock and I stare back. I want the answer to my question. I'm sure people outside of the room are going nuts right now. When he doesn't answer my question, I ask again.

"Why." He takes a breath and stares at me some more.

"Why can't I sleep?" I nod and he rubs his eyes, chuckling softly. "It's obvious. I'm worried about you."

I shake my head. He doesn't know me. I don't know him. "Y-you d-don't know me." I choke out, still with the scratchy voice. I don't want to talk anymore.

"But I do Madge, I do know you." I shake my head again. "I know you Madge. Even if you don't me, I do know you." I keep shaking my head and try to block out the lies. I know he doesn't know me, because I would know him. He can't love me. He doesn't know me.

A voice comes on the speaker. "Hawthorne. Give it a rest. Come out here." He stands and doesn't look at me.

Five minutes pass, and he doesn't come back. Haymitch comes in next though. He brings good news, and some bad news.

"Coin said that she would allow you to work on the medical team instead of training for the war. But, you still have to appear in propos." I guess it's an upgrade. At least I don't have to fight.

* * *

Hazelle Hawthorne looks up when her eldest son walks in to their home. He's looking more tired by the hour. He's been going absolutely insane with worry for Madge. Gale collapses on the couch across from his mother.

"Well?" She asks, as he rubs his face.

"She spoke,"

"Gale, that's great!" Hazelle interputs, before Gale can finish.

"She spoke and I have no clue what to do now. She doesn't know me, Ma."

Hazelle sighs. She should've known that something was wrong. What did she expect? For Madge to immediately remember her son and forget all of the torture she went through? No, defenitly not. The Capitol wouldn't make it that easy. They'd try to break the people here, and they're succedding. Hazelle can see her son falling apart before her eyes.

The past few weeks have been rough. All of her children were feeling the toll of loss of people you love. Even little Posy seems upset, and she doesn't even know what's going on.

"Well, Gale, honestly, she won't be the same." Hazelle begins gently as her son looks at her. Sometimes Hazelle can still see her little boy in the man he's come to be. "She'll be different, but she's still in there. I'm guessing you're going to have to start over."

"I don't want to start over." He grumbles and Hazelle sighs again.

"I know you don't want too, but you're probably going to have too."

"Yeah, because reenacting a fight to the death will be just great the second time because it went so well the first time." Gale snaps at his mother and then groans and rubs his eyes. "Sorry, Ma, I didn't mean that."

"Gale, I understand that you're upset. Give Madge more time, you can't expect her to remember everything instantly and have everything go back to normal. She's been through hell and back and you have to accept that." Gale jerks his head at his mother. He's only heard her curse once before, and that was years ago.

"I do accept that, Ma. I just don't want to believe that she may not ever remember anything."

"You can't stop that, Gale. What did Haymitch say?"

Gale shrugs and lifts his head from his hands. "Said that Coin would put her on the medical team instead of fighting. She still has to be in propos, but she won't be fighting."

"That's better than fighting." Hazelle does not know how her son can deal with the looming threat of war and on top of that the fact that Madge may never remember him. It's no secret that he loves her, Hazelle could see it during the Games and it was even more obvious after they got back. Now, it's only stronger, which is why it's breaking him.

Gale stands and begins to lumber to his room. "Yeah. But that's the thing. Coin wouldn't back down that easy. She's up to something and I don't like it."

* * *

_A/N: What do you think of the outside things? They won't be often, just little tid-bits that I think should be in there. There are a few hints in this chapter, if you can catch them. And about the thing with Gale and Madge having to start over and Madge not believing that Gale loves her, it will be explained. Thoughts, hate it, love it? Anything makes me smile!_


	45. Chapter 45

I'm getting released from the hospital in a few days. Then, I'll go to live with my father with Haymitch next door. It's odd, because as soon as I get out of the hospital, I'll be going back to work there. I don't know how I feel about working here, having to see all of the harmed people.

I've learned that Peeta Mellark was also taken by the Capitol too. I don't know why. It turns out that he was hijacked and tries to strangle people. The other boy, I forgot his name, got the same treatment I did, besides the memory thing. I wish I had my memory. I really do.

The day comes that I can get out of here, I'm stripped of my hospital gown and given gray clothes to wear. The bracelet stays on. I can tell that my father is not to happy about then we he helps me get out of the hospital. My legs are weak and feel like jelly.

We live on Level 3, so a long way under ground. I feel claustrophobic already. Great. When we get to the area where I'll be living, I learn that we have schedules. Every morning I must report to the hospital until lunch, and then I have something called Command right after lunch for an hour. Then, after Command I go back to the hospital. Then, back home for something called Reflection and then bed. And repeat the next day.

At least I don't have lessons like every other kid in the District.

People stare at me as I follow my dad through all the hallways, I even see the little girl from the other day. She stares at me for a moment before giving me a tentative smile. I don't know what to do, so I just keep following my dad. I stare at the ground most of the time and pretend that I can't hear the whispering around me. But I can hear it.

"Madge?" I flick my eyes up and he's standing in front of a door with the numbers '315' on the door. Must be the room number. "We're here." He opens the door and leads me in. Nothing special. Living room, small kitchenette and two bedrooms. "It's not much, but no one has much here." I nod and he shows me where I'll be staying. I nod again and go into the room. A bed, dresser, and a bathroom. Normal.

"There are clothes in the dresser, a long with some other stuff that we got from 12." Ah, yes. District 12 was destroyed. I was shocked at first and then confused. Then I was crying, I don't really remember. They knocked me out a little after. "I'll leave you alone then. We have dinner in an hour." I nod and my dad closes the door.

As soon as he's gone, I remove the bracelet, I don't need to be reminded that I'm insane. I get looks, and that's all I need to know. I go to the dresser and see what else my dad was talking about. It's not much. A letter, a photo album, and a heart necklace. I hold up the necklace and stare at it. It looks familiar. So does the letter. The photo album I've seen before, I remember this. The other two, I don't know.

I put them all on the bed and stare at them, fingering the edges of the letter. The photo album, I push to the side and focus on the other two. Both of them look familiar and remind me of bad times, or good times. I have no idea why. I finally do open the letter and read it, seeing my mothers handwriting. I'm so confused after I finish it. I'm sixteen, well, seventeen actually, I don't want to get married! Especially to someone I don't know.

I drop the letter and pick up the necklace. A silver heart, silver chain. Huh. I don't know where this came from. Or why I have it.

"Madge," My father's voice is muffled from outside the door and he knocks as I shove the objects under the pillow before pulling that stupid bracelet back on and pull open the door to reveal Haymitch in the living room.

He gives me a droopy smile and walks toward me, giving me a quick hug. I stiffen and take deep breaths, clenching my fists and closing my eyes. That's what the doctors said to do, at least.

"Sorry. I forgot you don't like to be touched." I unclench my hands and open my eyes to see my father and Haymitch giving each other pointed looks that I can't decode. "I was stopping by to see how you're doing. And I should probably tell you something."

I nod, hopefully giving him the impression that I'm fine. He continues, "Well, I'm your Godfather."

My jaw drops. My what? Haymitch chuckles. "I actually told you twice. First time you didn't even acknowledge it, you were too busy yelling at me. Second time when I told you, you actually yelled at me." He chuckles again. "You were mad as hell."

I formulate words for the second time. "W-what's a Godfather?" They try not to look surprised that I'm talking, but I know they're shocked. I hardly said a sentence with Gale and then I'm asking a whole question.

"Basically, if your dad were to die suddenly, I'd take over in taking care of you." I nod again. This is all so confusing to me.

My father checks his schedule. "It's time for dinner. Come on." I follow my father out the door along with Haymitch. On the way there, Katniss and Primrose Everdeen join us, along with their mother. Katniss gives Haymitch a curt nod and he responds the same way. Since when have they known each other? Primrose smiles brightly at me and Katniss whispers something in her ear and the smile vanishes. She has some scars all over her body. I can tell she's trying not to stare. Everyone is.

* * *

Dinner is awkward. No one really says much. At the table I'm sitting there's me, Haymitch, Katniss and Primrose, and the Hawthorne's. This is great. My dad said he had no appetite, so he didn't come down all the way. I wish I didn't have to come down. Mostly, I push my food around. It isn't very appetizing. I'm used to being fed through a tube so this is weird. I can't really identify what's on my plate. I think there's rice and some sort of vegetable. I think.

I sense that people are staring at me so I continue to move my food around, and then resort to fiddling with the bracelet.

I look up when someone says my name. It's Haymitch. "They want you to go see Peeta soon. You don't have to talk much, but if he asks you something, try to respond." I nod numbly and wait for him to finish. I'm not hungry. When he finally has finished, I slowly push my chair away from the table and grab my tray. Haymitch does the same. I'm at the door when I realize that he's not following, but it's Gale.

He dumps his trash and motions for me to come outside. I don't know. I glance at Haymitch and he nods, I think giving me the sense that I can trust him. I follow him and wrap my arms around myself and he runs his hand through his hair.

"I know it's going to be hard for you to believe. I do love you, Madge." I shake my head and stare at the ground. He can't. He doesn't love me. He doesn't know me. Who could love me? I'm just me, nothing special. I'm insane. No one can love an Insane Girl. They can't.

"Well if I'm not allowed to love you can I at least talk to you still?" I shrug and he sighs. "I'm trying, Madge. I'm trying as hard as hell to get you to remember. But are you?"

I nod quickly and he sighs, reaching out and pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. I freeze at the touch. It feels so familiar, yet foreign. Something happens when he touches me. Something makes sense. I see something in my mind, something I can't explain. It's just an image, an image of him laughing. "Sorry." He says, diverting his eyes from mine to the bracelet on my wrist. "It's.. It's just normal for me to be with you and now that you don't know who I am, and I can't.. You don't know how it feels."

But I do! I know how it feels! Because I know that somewhere I know who he is and I'm trying to remember, I am! I really am trying. "I'm trying." He looks at me again and there's something in his eyes, hope? I don't know. "I am, Gale." I think it might be the first time I've said his name and he jumps a bit before speaking again.

"It's okay if you don't talk much. Just try to remember." I nod again and he rubs his face before Haymitch comes out and gives Gale and pointed look and Gale sighs and nods before going back into the cafeteria.

"You okay?" I nod and he takes me back up to where my father is. "Listen, sweetheart. You're killing the boy with this. You are practically everything to him, and it's hard to lose someone you love. You know the feeling, I know you do." I shrug and he sighs, herding me inside. I know I know the feeling, I can feel it. I just don't know it.

We find my father passed out on the couch and Haymitch leaves me be. Once in my room, I pull the three objects out again.

After flipping through the photo album a few times, I see a picture of Peeta. Oh, yeah. I'm supposed to go see Peeta soon. I wonder what's going to happen. Everything is a wonder to me now.

I know that I know all of these people, I know I do. I just don't know why or where I've known them. I know there's something for Gale down there, I know it. I just don't know what is actually down there.

* * *

_A/N: Since I reached 300 reviews and I love y'all so much I updated today. You're welcome. Sorry if it's a bit short, I'm happy with it, and that's all that matters to me. Review?_


	46. Chapter 46

**Disclaimer: I still wish I owned these characters.**

* * *

Sleeping? Yeah, not a problem.

Wrong. I didn't get a wink of sleep last night, nor did I manage to stay still all night. I ended up alternating from the couch to my bed every twenty minutes. So when I have breakfast, I nearly fall asleep into the oatmeal on my plate, or on Haymitch's shoulder, without even realizing what I'm doing. Every time one of those would happen, he'd shove me off and tell me to stay awake.

Then, he brings me to the hospital where I'll be working from now on. I have to go through some lessons about it first and I'm with all the younger kids, around the ages of twelve and thirteen. Prim's there, so I'm not completely alone. She already knows quite a bit, I'm assuming, as she excels at everything they teach us.

We're put in a large room where there is every medical equipment and supply known to man. A lot of the kids stay away from me, probably from their parents instruction, but Prim stays by me the entire day. The instructors split us into groups and we go around the room, saying that if we do well enough in the next two weeks, we can move up in the classes and actually start working in the hospital, helping people.

We learn how to wrap bandages, insert needles into skin, which I already know how to do because of when my mother was alive, and how to clean wounds. Turns out, I'm good at all three of those. The instructor claims that I'm good at it because of when I was in the Games. I don't remember that. What I like about being here, is that though the instructors are cautious of me and are careful not to touch me, they treat me like I'm a human. They treat me like I'm not insane and I like that.

When my small group gets to the stitching station, a sharp pain erupts in my temple. It's like I've seen this stuff before. It seems familiar, and I remember pain coming from it. Prim stops next to me.

"What?" She asks, curious.

I can't seem to formulate words at the moment so she looks around to see what I'm looking at. "Oh, yeah. You had to get temporary stitches in your arm during the Games. Are you remembering?" She sounds excited, and hopeful.

I shrug and she shrugs, mimicking my motions. I don't exactly see a full picture, just.. I dunno, it doesn't make sense. Nothing does. Turns out that I'm horrible at stitching.

The instructors try to help me, luckily they are all women, and near the end of the morning session, I'm able to stitch. A little.

Throughout the rest of the morning, we learn multiple things, and I figure out that for some reason, I already know it. I guess it's from being in the Games, I don't know.

* * *

At lunch, I'm still puzzled over the whole stitches thing and where it's coming from and why I had to get them, and push the mush around again. I think there's some kind of rice and meat on the plate, along with some vegetables. My dad isn't at lunch. I wonder if he even eats. Haymitch has given up on trying to get me to eat for the moment.

Today, people are actually talking. Yesterday, there was silence. I jerk my head up when Haymitch says my name.

"Coin wants you to see Peeta today, so we're going to go there, and then to Command for propo planning." I nod, surprised that they want me to see Peeta already. I figured I'd have a few days to prepare for it, but I guess Coin means business. She didn't exactly strike me as the motherly type. Nor as the caring leader type.

Haymitch finishes eating, and leads me out, with Katniss and Gale behind us. They're talking about something, and it's kind of bothering me. Instead of going to the hospital, like I expected, instead we go to further underground. I've decided that I don't like elevators. I feel too claustrophobic. I also don't like being so far underground.

I'm taken to a different room and sent into the waiting area. There are a few doctors and a man, that looks familiar.

"Ah! Finally you're here!" He has the accent of the Capitol, and I think he's from here. "I'm Plutarch Heavensbee, but I'm sure you already know that!" When I don't respond, he holds out his hand for me to shake it. I don't move. "No? Okay, whatever." He shakes it off quickly and moves on to tell us about what he hopes to accomplish in this whole thing and I find myself tuning it out, and turning to the window where Peeta is. He's chained to a bed, and looks a bit deranged.

"So, you're going to go in there, talk a bit," Haymitch clears his throat, "okay, nevermind, don't talk, just if he asks you anything, and we'll see how it goes." Haymitch gives me a small nod and opens the door for me.

The minute the door closes, Peeta's eyes snap open and he glares at me. I don't move any closer to him as he stares me down, eyes narrowing.

"You." He forces out, the ice clear in his voice. I'm shocked. Peeta's never talked to anyone like that before. "They sent you? Of all people?"

I stare some more and he struggles against the chains. "You did this to me, it's your fault!" He shouts and my eyes go wide. "You need to die!" He shouts and I want to get out of here.

His eyes go from blue, to gray, to black in a second and he's screaming horrible things at me. I'm on the verge of tears now. I force out some words and he stops screaming long enough to hear them. "Try... Try to remember."

For a moment, I think he's actually going to listen to me, that is, until he starts screaming again. Something sedates him and he falls into sleep, his screams echoing around the room. I'm shaking now and unshed tears pool in my eyes.

That did not go as everyone planned.

I'm pulled out of the room and shoved into a chair quickly. I rub my eyes and people are trying to talk to me and I don't want to listen because Peeta wants to kill me and he hates me and-

"Well, I say we go another time tomorrow, and see if it changes anything, you know, just to see how it goes-" Plutarch begins strongly and fades out when Gale barks at him.

"No. She's not going back in there, not today, not tomorrow, not ever." I glance up with blurry eyes and find the two of them staring at each other, Gale's fists clenched and Plutarch just stares at him, before he finally backs down. Then, bounces right back and turns to Katniss.

"Will you,"

"No." She says dryly, looking at the passed out Peeta. "I'm not going in there, Plutarch." Then, she's leaving before I can even wonder how she knows Peeta. I mean, I think he's loved her for years, but it doesn't explain how she knows him.

Haymitch sighs. "We still have the rest of Command. Come on, you two." I shakily stand up and follow Haymitch out, with Plutarch and Gale behind me. It's complete silence behind me as Plutarch catches up with Haymitch and starts talking about something. Haymitch does not look interested with the conversation and answers yes and random times or at least looks like he's interested.

Gale falls into step with me, but doesn't say anything, and neither do I. He's at least two feet away from me. And I don't like that either. It seems that nothing satisfies me today. I'm still shaken from the Peeta incident and I'm still trembling.

When we get to the elevator, we find it's already jam-packed with people and I don't want to get inside of the elevator. Too many people. Haymitch and Plutarch squeeze into it, and then give me a look. I shake my head and Haymitch goes to get out of the elevator.

"Go ahead. I'll stay back." Haymitch raises his eyebrow and I shrug slightly. Haymitch gives Gale a pointed look and he nods and stares at the ground, shoving his hands into his back pockets. The elevator closes, leaving Gale and I the only ones waiting for the elevator.

I realize that this is the first time that I've been alone with a man. The thought scares me. A lot more than it should. I glance at him to find him scraping a scuff off of the ground with his boot.

I wrap my arms around myself and lean against the wall, sliding to the floor. He glances at me and sighs, walking slowly to me, before sliding down the wall next to me. I try to struggle against the instinct to move away, but it wins out and I move a little from him. He sighs again, before rubbing his face with his hands.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Madge. I've told you that." I know he's not, I can guess that much from how he acts. The instinct is what causes me to be afraid. I'm afraid that whoever touches me is going to hurt me in some way, just like the people who tortured me.

The elevator dings and he stands, offering me a hand. I don't take it, instead standing on my own, and slipping. Gale's arms shoot around my waist, keeping me from face planting into the ground.

"It's okay. I gotcha." He says, and for the first time since I got here, I feel semi-safe. He's really, really warm. My stomach bubbles and I know there's something for him. I know there is.

There's that thing again. I see another image. It's Gale again, standing above me, grinning. Then, the image fades.

Then I realize what I'm doing and force myself out of his arms and go into the elevator, trying to ignore the blush that I know is there. We don't say anything in the elevator, with me staring at the floor.

It's a little awkward, with neither of us saying, until he speaks again. "Coin wants us to go back to District 12 today, I think." I jerk my head up and shake it immediately. "I know, I don't want to either. They'd film all of it and require us to talk." I swallow and he sighs. "I'll try to get it to the point where you don't have to talk, but Coin hates me." I nod again, suddenly full of fear for having to go back to twelve. Plus, because of what just happened with me and Gale, I'm a little out of it.

I don't want to see my ruined district, all of the people who didn't get out (I heard there was a lot), nothing. I'd rather stay in gloomy District 13.

The elevator dings and he lets me go first, but then I stop. I don't know the way there. I always follow Haymitch.

"What?" Gale asks me and I try to mimic that I don't know the way. "What?" He repeats.

"I don't... I don't know how to get there." My voice is barely a whisper, but he hears it and nods.

"C'mon." He waves me one way and I follow him, trying to learn the way by myself. I hate feeling so useless. I feel useless here because I'm still on watch, and I know it, and it seems that nobody treats me like I'm _me_ anymore. Though, I don't even know who _me_ is anymore.

* * *

_A/N: Back to regular update schedule, unless we reach a milestone in the reviews (350, 400, etc.). This chapter, to me, seems a bit out of the sorts, but I like it. Trip to District 12 is next chapter, plus, Madge's first _real_ interaction with Coin. The other one when she looked at her bracelet doesn't count. Oh, and Madge's sickness thing will also be explained soon, too. Thoughts? Hate it? Love it?_


	47. Chapter 47

**Disclaimer: Pray for those affected in the Connecticut elementary school shooting.**

* * *

"Coin, I just don't see how going back to 12 will benefit anyone." I hear Finnick's booming voice and Gale groans.

"So they're already yelling?" He grumbles and walks in, with me following. Haymitch looks up, like he had just sat down. I sit in the chair next to him and I stare at Coin.

"Nice of you to finally join us, Ms. Undersee." Her cold voice rings out and I swallow. Does she expect me to answer her? Because I won't. When I don't respond, she speaks again. "Is she slow?"

Haymitch and Gale both go to shout at her at her, but she doesn't seem to notice, continuing her speech. "Anyways, how did it go?"

"He screamed at her, but I think if we send her again tomorrow, it could go better," Plutarch starts before Gale and Haymitch both rise and start protesting.

"She's not going back in there, Plutarch, we already told you that." Haymitch growls and Coin tells everyone to shut up.

"She will go back in there when I decide for her to go back in there." There's a note of finality in her voice and I know that no matter how much people argue, she won't change her mind. "Back to the trip to District 12. We're leaving in thirty minutes to get footage of the District and some interaction there."

I don't want to go there. Not.. Not when my entire life has been destroyed. Not when nothing is left. And what interaction do they possibly want? It's not like I'm actually going to talk, or do anything besides stare at it.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, I'm in an itchy suit (the same one I got shot in) and back on a hovercraft. I try to avoid looking out the window, and it works pretty well until the hovercraft starts landing and we have to get off. Haymitch tries to block my view of the district, but he doesn't do a very good job.

I can still see glimpses of it; the ruined landscape, the ashy ground under my feet, even some rotting bodies. I can't help think that I could know those people. When I try to stop, Haymitch doesn't let me, but keeps me walking. To where, I don't know. Everything's destroyed, where wouldn't it be? Turns out we're going to the Victor's Village. The cobbled pathway feels familiar.

Haymitch stops in front of three of them. The entire Village is still there. I wonder why they didn't destroy it. It basically screams rebellion. Haymitch leads me inside one of the houses. It smells like sugar.

This seems familiar. Haymitch leaves me be and I start to walk around. There's stuff still out, as if someone left in a hurry. There are glasses on the table and the chairs are knocked over. I pick one of them up and push it in. That's before I notice the glass with the ice cubes and condensation still on it.

That's impossible, no one's been here for weeks, right? A horrible feeling sets in my stomach. Why is there a glass? I bring Haymitch from the entry hall and tap my nail on the glass. His eyes narrow and he looks around. I start to walk up the stairs, wanting to explore this house.

The smell hits me first. Smells like roses. Sort of. There's something else, something I can't describe yet. Gale follows me up, too. When we enter one of the rooms, I'm overwhelmed with the smell of blood. There's white roses scattered all over the floor, and there's a broken picture frame on the wall.

I walk in the room, stepping on the smelly roses and crossing the room. Everything seems disjointed and blurry. It feels like I've been here, but I dont' know why. Everything is confusing. I sit on the bed, picking up one of the roses. One of the thorns pricks my finger, as I hold onto the rose. I suck on my finger to prevent the blood from flowing out more. When Haymitch sees the roses, when he gets in the room, he pushes me back out of the room.

"Get her out of here." I hear him mutter to Gale and he nods, leading me out of the upstairs hallway and back into the kitchen. The roses are meant to be pretty, I think. But they aren't. I've smelled that before. I know I have.

Moments later, I'm sitting back down in one of the chairs, staring at the table as Gale picks up the glasses and brings then from the sink. Haymitch comes down, minutes later, and then drags Gale back up with him.

"God, Abernathy." I hear him mutter and I stare at the table, scratching at a dent in it. I can hear yelling from upstairs and if they were a little louder, I could try to decode it. Katniss sits down in front of me.

She lets out a breath before speaking. "Peeta and I, well, we were dating." I choke on my own spit and my jaw drops. "Unbelievable, I know. I don't think anyone believed it at first, though you were completely fine with it when we finally told you. Though, you kind of forced it out of us." She pauses, and then continues, slowly. "Peeta and I, we blamed ourselves for your mom dying?" I cock my head to the side and she continues, staring at the table.

"We figured that if you hadn't stopped to talk to us, she wouldn't have been poisoned." They told me how she was poisoned. I cried for at least an hour after that. "So I'm sorry. And Peeta doesn't hate you. He really doesn't. He's just..."

"Brainwashed." I offer and she stares at me for a moment before nodding.

"Yeah. Brainwashed. He was in the Games with Prim when you got captured. The other boy, Sayer, he's back in 13 too. He got more beat-up than any of you guys combined." Now she's rambling. "I'm rambling. What I'm trying to say is that I am sorry." She stands up and listens for the yelling. It's stopped. Haymitch comes down first, fuming, carrying the roses. He shoves them in the fireplace and burns them all by starting a fire, but the smell still lingers.

I stand and move to the living room, where Haymitch is. He's staring at the fire, watching the roses burn.

"He was here. Snow. It's a warning." The roses? I guess? "He's saying that we need to stop fighting. Sometimes I wonder if it was all worth it. Getting both of you out, I mean. Maybe if someone else would've won we wouldn't be in this mess. But then again, we wouldn't be on the way to freedom."

"Dam right we wouldn't." Gale calls down as he walks down the stairs, glaring at the back of Haymitch's head. I don't know what they were yelling about, but I don't think it went very well. Just a hunch.

"Haymitch, they want some other shots of the District." Katniss tells him and he sighs as the roses go out.

"Okay. Let's get it over with." He stands and I follow Haymitch out into the District.

I'm in so much shock. Fire's are still burning in some portions of the District. We walk through the town, or what was the town, to find almost no one made it out of town. The Mellark bakery is obliterated to rubble, and I swallow thickly, trying to get the lump in my throat to go away. The Justice Hall is barely still standing. My house is gone too. I stare at it for a moment before moving on.

I lived there. That was where I grew up, and it's gone. Everything's gone. We keep walking. When we cross into where the Seam was, Katniss veers off course and goes to her old home. It was barely standing in the first place, and now it's on the ground. She rummages around in the rubble before extracting an old hunting jacket. She pulls it on quickly and we move on.

When Gale stops suddenly behind me and moves toward a half-standing small house, everyone else stops. He stares at it for a minute, sighs, rubs his face and walks away.

We go into the woods and Katniss and Gale find their bows. They talk for a little about how they would have to hunt for food to survive. While they talk, Haymitch and I walk around a little. Everything is so different in here. I think this is the first time I've been in here, unless someone brought me in after the Games.

I stop in front of a lake. They say I'm afraid of water, or drowning in specific. Haymitch stands next to me. "They want you to talk soon."

About? What on earth can I talk about if I can't remember anything? "They said that all you have to say is what you think of the bombing and the Capitol."

I shake my head. "No."

"I know you don't want too, but you have no choice. Coin is getting antsy with you. Says you're taking too long in getting back to normal. I told her that you probably don't know what normal is anymore."

I nod. I really don't know who I am. "Then she yelled at me. She's not the best president. Listen: Coin wants the two of you dead. You and Gale, I mean. She wants power, and the only way to get it is to win this war. And by winning the war, she assumes that people will want her to be our new president. And if your first answer for president isn't Coin, she wants you dead."

I nod slowly, trying to take it in. Before I can fully understand, I hear footsteps behind us and I turn my head to find the camera crew, Katniss, and Gale. Haymitch stands and walks from me, going to Boggs.

Katniss and Gale look pretty defeated. Everyone looks tired. Katniss goes off and begins to shoot randomly into the woods, hitting trees and what not. The camera crew sits down further down the lake shore. Boggs, Finnick and Haymitch talk about something further away. Gale sits next to me, but not close enough to touch me.

My fingers play with the sand, tracing circles in it. Gale watches me for a minute before talking.

"I brought you here once. You were terrified about the water."

Still am, I guess. I turn to him and he watches the water hit the bank. "My family wants too see you again, when we get back." I don't know his family, though. But, I nod slowly. I want to know more about him, I do. It feels like I know him, but yet I can't remember anything about him.

I get out of having to speak because we were supposed to be back in 13 about an hour ago. I'm glad.

* * *

A couple hours later, after dinner, I'm following Gale to go see his family. We don't talk much, I mostly stare at the ground the entire walk there. Before we get out of the elevator, Gale talks again.

"I'm telling you now, Posy's going to jump at you. She loves you." He grins and I try to grin back but it doesn't really work. I know who Posy is; she's the youngest of the Hawthorne's. And the only girl, I might add.

At the door, he opens it slowly before walking in, and motions for me to follow. I do and I look around. This compartment is bigger than the one I live in. I hear noises from the living room and some laughing.

"Ma?" Gale calls and the noises stop, but the laughing continues. I follow Gale and then before I know what's going on, a bullet is launched toward me. Skinny arms wrap around my leg and my eyes widen.

"Madge! I knew you were here!" The squeaky voice says as Gale pries Posy off of me.

"Posy, I told you. Give her some space." He turns to me quickly while Posy pouts. "Sorry." My fists clench and I take a few deep breaths. I'm still not used to people touching me, though, a young girl probably can't hurt me.

"It's fine." I force out and the rest of the family moves toward me, but keeping their distance. Mrs. Hawthorne gives me a small smile.

"Madge. It's good to see you again."

I nod slowly and she picks up Posy. "Time for bed, you."

"But Mama!" She protests and Mrs. Hawthorne gives her a look.

"No, buts Posy. It's past your bedtime."

"Mama-"

"Posy, listen to your mom." Gale says, as another Hawthorne comes up to me and stares. I think it's Rory, maybe? Or Vick? I don't know.

He stares at me for a moment before he sighs. "Sorry." I don't know what he's apologizing for, he didn't do anything to cause what happened to me. I nod slowly and realize that he's grown up too quickly. He's been forced to watch people he knew fight to the death and so on and so forth. I stare at the ground until I hear my name again.

"Posy, I don't think..." Mrs. Hawthorne trails off, looking at me helplessly. I don't know what's going on.

It's very quiet as I try to think of what's going on, before Gale sighs. "She wants you to come say goodnight to her. You used too before... Before." He finishes, and can't hold my gaze and his eyes drop to the ground. I nod slowly and Mrs. Hawthorne passes Posy to Gale and I follow them to where I'm assuming Posy sleeps. Posy smiles at me and I give her a weak smile back.

In her room, she grabs a old stuffed bunny and holds on to it tightly. I bet she's had it forever. I lean against the door frame for a minute as Gale pulls the covers up to keep Posy warm.

"There. Now will you please go to sleep?" He crosses his arms as Posy shakes her head no. "Well why not?"

"Can Madge.."

"Posy I don't know," he turns back to me and I shrug, "I don't know, Posy."

"Please," she drags out the _ea_ sound and I cave and move toward her slowly. She grins brightly and I stand next to the bed, wrapping my arms around myself. What does she want?

"She wants you to tell her goodnight." Gale mutters from the end of the bed. I nod again.

Finally, I force out, "G-goodnight Posy." She smiles again and I swallow before staring at the ground. Gale kisses her forehead.

"Now will you go to sleep?" She nods and snuggles up in her bed. I follow Gale out and he closes the door, leaving it cracked a little. Gale walks back out into the living area to find the rest of the family.

"Do you want to go home?" I nod slightly and he turns to his mom. "I'll walk her home." She nods and smiles at me. I try to smile back.

As I'm following Gale out the door, I hear Rory, or Vick or whoever I was talking too, say something and I just catch it, "It's good to see her again."

* * *

_A/N: As I said in my disclaimer: Pray for the victims of the shooting. Anyways: Gotta love Posy, huh? c: Have any predictions for the next chapter? Love it? Favorite moments? Review! c:_


	48. Chapter 48

The walk back to the elevator is mostly silent, only our footsteps are audible. Once in the elevator, I lean up against the cold wall and stare at my feet before Gale talks.

"You were talking to Rory, by the way." I nod, and he continues. "You looked pretty lost."

I nod. "Yeah." I know he's trying not to look shocked when I talk, but he does. And I hate the fact that now whenever I talk, people look so surprised. I guess that's my fault.

"Is your father at home?" Probably. So, I nod. "I want to talk to him about something." About what? I have no idea.

We end up on Level 3 pretty quick and Gale follows me to where I live, staying next to me the entire time. When we get to my house, I have to punch in a few numbers to get in. Gale doesn't watch. The door opens and I slowly walk in, only to find my dad passed out on the couch. I don't think he's eaten in a while. He looks very thin. Thinner than the on-screen me during the Games I was in, apparently.

"Is he always like that?" Gale asks, and he sounds a little upset. I turn to find him glaring down at my father. I shrug and go to wake him up. I shake his shoulder a few times and he wakes up, head flying up and bonking into mine. I cringe in pain and rub my forehead.

"Oh. Madge. I didn't think you were here." I swallow and Gale moves forward, so he can talk to my father. Gale raises his eyebrow at my father and he sighs. "Madge, would you mind going to your room for a little bit?" Slowly, I nod and retreat back to my room, and close the door. I move to the bed and pull the objects out from under my pillow, where I keep them. The photo album goes into my lap, the others next to me. I flip through the pages a few times, until I see some I've never seen before.

They looks so familiar, but feel so distant. There's some of me sleeping, my hair everywhere, some of me laughing, my head thrown back and a smile on my face. I pitifully try to form that smile again, but am unable too. It feels like I'm no longer able to smile.

There's even some of me with Posy, or Rory, or Vick, the other one. But there's mostly pictures of me and Gale. There's a lot of the two of us just hanging around, his arms around me, smiling at me, or me laughing at him and he's glaring playfully at me. There's one with me trying to block the camera from getting a picture of me, but it fails miserably because I'm still in the picture. But, I notice that there are three slits on each of my wrists in the picture. I pull my wrists up and stare at them.

There are a lot more scars now then in that picture. Lashes, from a whip. If I look close enough, I can just make out a few of them. I wonder what happened. Did I trip, or what? It obviously happened after the Games, but I don't know why.

In all of the pictures, or most of them, I have on a necklace, the same one that's on my bed right now. It definitely was important to me, as it's still here, and I wore it in all of these pictures. I can't help but feel a connection to Gale from it. Whatever that connection is, it has to come back to me soon. I want to remember, I really do.

I just can't. I've been trying to remember, I have. I keep having these dreams with images I can't figure out, and then the thing with Gale when we touch, and then why everyone looks at me funny. Did I do something? Besides being crazy. Is something wrong with me?

I decide that I'm going to find a way to ask Haymitch tomorrow. Write it down or something. I shove the objects back under my pillow and lay down, rubbing my eyes. They haven't told me to come back out, so I'm assuming they're still talking, or whatever. So, I try to sleep. I haven't been able to lately.

Just as I'm starting to succumb to sleep, I hear a soft knock on the door and then it opens. I would rather not go out there now. I'm too confused. There's a sigh, and someone walks into the room and pulls a blanket on me. Another sigh, and they're gone.

* * *

I wake up in the middle of the night. Not because of a nightmare, no. But because of sirens. Loud, shrill sirens. My dad immediately enters the room and tells me to hurry up and I scramble to fall out of bed, but get tangled in the blanket that I'm wrapped in. Quickly, I grab the stuff under my pillow and my dad takes the photo album from me. I shove the other two objects into my pocket and follow my dad.

There's so much screaming and shouting and yelling around me I can't focus. I grab onto my dad's wrist and he leads me down stairs, stairs, stairs, more stairs. I don't know what's going on, or what's happening or anything. There's screaming and the sirens are blaring, casting a red glow on everyone in the vicinity. There's so many people smooshed around me I'm feeling uncomfortable, but no one has time for that because somethings going on.

We go down so many more stairs I lose count around three-hundred. Finally, we get to a big steel door. We're assigned small squares of living space. My dad and I are in Compartment E. I sit down on the cold floor and put my head in my hands. My father has to go wait in line for our packs or something. While I'm sitting there, someone sits down next to me.

"Hey," Gale's gentle voice comes out near my left ear. "You okay?"

"What's going on?" I force out and he sighs.

"Capitol's bombing us. Probably because of you guys getting out of there." I nod slowly and the lights flicker, before coming back on. "Listen to me," he says, before looking at me gently, and forcing me to look at him, "it's going to be okay. We're so far down, nothing is going to get us. Okay?"

I nod again, as my father comes back, before hastily leaving again and going to talk to someone, I guess.

Coin's voice comes on the speakers. "Residents of Thirteen, we are in a bombing zone. Our computers were just able to detect the bombs. Please remain quiet and calm, we are going to be fine." Her voice is cut off when the lights flicker off completely and I jump, and let out a small screech. My hand grabs onto Gale's wrist and we both jump, me because I see another image, and I don't know why he jumps.

This time, it's another one of him in a cave entrance, with a bow, looking panicked. Hm. I don't know.

"Sorry." I mutter, and start to pull my hand away, but figure out I don't want too. His hand slowly grasps mine, and I take a few breaths, before relaxing. Slowly, I begin to realize that he's not going to hurt me, like I initially thought everyone would. He's not. I can tell that much by how gentle he is when he talks to me, or even looks at me.

For the first time in my life, I experience complete darkness as even the safety lights flicker out as the first bomb drops. It rattles my teeth, shakes my bones and chills my blood. I look up, expecting to see cracks on the ceiling, but I remember I can't see.

"See, I told you that we'd be fine." Gale mutters. I think my father comes back because a heavy bag drops into my lap.

"Sorry, the line was long." Pause. "This is where you are right?"

"Yeah." I say quietly and Gale leaves, I think. I don't know. Not really sure. Probably did, to go back to his family. I sorta want him to stay though...

I open the pack and find a thin mattress and pull it out. Good. I'm tired. I lay it out as the bombing continues. Every time a bomb hits, I feel so scared that it's going to come and hit me. I lay backwards on the mat and try to get comfortable as the other emergency light flicker on.

Pretty quickly, I learn that I won't be able too. The lights dim some more to allow people to sleep. When they dim even more, I finally sit up and look around. I need to talk to someone. My dads out of the question, as he's asleep. I don't even know where Katniss is, and Peeta.. No. Bad idea. I wonder where Haymitch is. Not here, obviously. I would've found him anyways, by now. I sigh lightly. Only one person left, that I could possibly talk too. If I could get to the point of talking.

Quickly, I crawl over to where I'm pretty sure he is, and luckily, I'm right. The rest of his family is close by, all asleep. I can't tell if he is or not, so, I shake his shoulder gently and his gray eyes fly open.

"The hell is going on?" He grumbles out and sees me leaning above him, and his features soften. "Madge. Are you okay?"

It takes me a minute to find my voice, but I do, eventually. "I need to talk to someone." I finally whisper, and he sits up, rubbing his eyes quickly.

"Okay. Shoot."

I take a breath. "Why.. Why does everyone look at me like.. Like I'm a monster? Or that something's wrong with me?" This is the most words I've said in a sitting, and I think it takes him a moment to process it before answering.

"Have, have they told you what happened on the Victory Tour, and what happened before the 75th Games?" He murmurs and I shake my head. "Well for starters the Capitol forced us to become engaged." My jaw drops and he sighs, before rubbing his face again. "Yeah, I know. You were only sixteen, I swear your dad was ready to kill me when we got back." I can see my father doing that. "I guess they kind of forgot about it, because they didn't bug us about it after that. The reason they stopped bugging us, was because they assumed, that because we loved each other so much," I notice he said loved, "they figured that you'd get pregnant."

And once again, my jaw drops. "You aren't, Madge." He says hastily, "but President Snow made the announcement that you were, and everyone currently thinks you are." I chew my lip and he continues, softly, "When I got here, your father nearly skinned me and my mom was ready to disown me. That could be why everyone looks at you like something's wrong. There's not, but everyone thinks there is."

But there is something wrong. "I'm crazy, though." I whisper and he shakes his head.

"No. No, you're not. Just because a few people in lab coats declare you crazy, or unstable doesn't mean you are. Look at Annie Cresta. She's fine when she's with Finnick, completely fine, they're even getting married in a few weeks."

"Oh." This is new to me.

"Did you not know?"

I shake my head.

"I don't think anyone tells anyone anything anymore." He sighs. "You know that trip to 8? Yeah, we didn't know about that until an hour before. Pissed me off, along with Haymitch."

"I wasn't very happy with the outcome." I murmur and he chews his lip.

"I would've done it, you know?"

"Done what?"

"Killed him. I didn't get him, Katniss did. I would've done it." He stares at the ground and I stare at him.

"Why?"

"Because he was going to shoot you, Madge. I can't handle that guilt, especially when I know I could've done something to save the girl I love." He stares at the ceiling as the thunder of another bomb hits us. "Go get some sleep. It's gonna be a long few days."

I nod and start to crawl back, but stop. "Gale?" He turns his head, "Thank you."

He smiles a little. "Anytime."

* * *

_A/N: So there's improvement on the relationship! Not much, but at least she realizes that he won't hurt her, and that she can talk to him. Anyways, thoughts? Hate it? Love it? Whatever you have to say helps!_


	49. Chapter 49

When I finally manuever my way back to where my father is, I find it easier to fall asleep, now that I know why people look at me weird, or what's happened. I know there's a lot more to it than just that, but I could tell he was tired, plus that's a lot of information to process.

Though, laying back down on the mat and listening to the bombs above, I can't help but think that I'm missing a critical point to all of this. About why they were so keen to get us engaged, or get me pregnant. I don't know. I just don't know anymore.

I pull the necklace out of my pocket and finger the chain. Gale gave this to me. I know he did. I don't know how I know, but I know it's true. I know it.

* * *

We're in the bunker for a week. One long, excruciating slow week. Each day that passes makes me feel a little more claustrophobic in the bunker. Katniss and Prim start the game 'Crazy Cat' with their cat, Buttercup. I should probably more likely say Prim's cat. I know Katniss has tried drowning it before.

It's a crowd favorite, and everyone loves it. It keeps us amused, watching the cat look around in confusion when the light switches off, or when it goes on the wall.

They're playing that when I wake up the next morning and I'm surprised when the cat jumps over me to get the light on the other side of me. It quickly disappears and goes to the other side of the room and Buttercup jumps again.

"Sorry, Madge!" Prim calls across as the residents laugh and smile at my confusion. I wonder if it's because I'm crazy, or if they actually like me. I doubt it's the latter. Katniss moves to sit by me as another bomb is dropped. It still shakes my teeth and chills my blood just hearing it. I can only imagine what it was like in District 12 when the Capitol was bombing there.

"How are you holding up?" She asks quietly, as my father snores next to me.

I shrug. For some reason, I feel more comfortable talking to Gale. "I-it's different."

"Yeah. It is." We sit in uncomfortable silence for a little until the lights go out again. Katniss makes her way back to Prim and I'm pretty sure she runs into a few people because she keeps saying sorry and people keep complaining. It's sort of funny, I guess.

The day drags on slowly. We're forced to stay in our little areas all day and I'm annoyed because I want to stretch my legs, plus I'm feeling claustrophobic. I think by the end of the day everyone is annoyed with one another.

* * *

We're in the bunker for a week. One long, bomb filled week. By the end of the fourth day, the bombs have stopped but we have to stay underground until we're sure they're stopped.

On the morning of the fourth day, Gale gets a smile out of me. It's pitiful, and weak, and probably looks like a grimace, but to him, it's a smile. When he notices it, his face lights up and he glances at my father, who notices it too.

Gale's been trying harder to get me to remember or whatever he plans to do, and yeah, I've been trying, I'm just wondering how much damage they did, underneath the whips and the shocks.

In the afternoon of the fifth day, something clicks inside. I turn to Gale. "Your favorite color's blue."

He chokes on his water and then nods. "Yeah. It is. How'd you know that?"

I shrug. "I don't know." Pause. "Just hit me." The rest of the afternoon he's watching me closely, I guess looking for the me before I was tortured. I don't know if she's still there, though.

But, on the morning of the sixth day, I wake up and don't know where I am. Or why I'm here. I should be at home, getting ready for the reaping, right? Someone shakes my shoulder and I move away from them, as he looks concerned.

Who is this? Where am I? Why am I underground?

"Madge? Are you okay?" The man says, coming closer. No, I don't want him closer. He'll hurt me. When I keep moving away, his face sets on panic. "Haymitch!" He calls and he comes forward. That's Haymitch Abernathy. He's a drunk.

The man murmurs something to Haymitch and he frowns. "Sweetheart, you okay?" I keep backing away and he groans, rubbing his eyes. "She's had a relapse."

"So you mean I have to start over, again?" The other man growls, and Haymitch continues rubbing his face.

"No, it's temporary. Probably." i continue to stare at them, as they converse. "I'm going to get her a doctor to help with this when we can go back up."

"Do you think it'll help?"

"I don't know. It's helping Sayer with that, so maybe it will help her."

I continue to move away and stare, when something clicks. I blink a few more times and I know where I am. I'm in District 13 because the Capitol destroyed my home. Yeah. That's right.

"Madge. Who's that?" Haymitch says, pointing behind him to an upset Gale.

"Gale."

"See? She's fine."

"Yeah for now. What happens when she has another relapse and forgets everything completely? I've just started making progress with her, Haymitch."

"That's why she's going to the therapist, so she knows how to control them." The keep muttering to each other for a while and during the duration of that time I'm sitting there trying to block it out.

* * *

We're finally released from the bunker. The first thing we do is go up and assess the damage. There's basically a giant hole where the bombs hit us. Everything that we previously used is gone. We all need new homes and such.

Gale throws spare rock down the hole and it takes a few seconds for it to stop falling. It's a deep pit. I don't even want to look down there.

We get new homes that look exactly the same. Everything resumes as normal, or as normal as it can get.

Now, instead of going to the hospital to study everyday, I go to the therapist to watch my relapses and progress. Haymitch hands me a slip of paper with the room number on it and I slowly try to find it on my own. I end up getting lost and have to backtrack at least three times.

Finally, I find it. When I enter, there's a friendly looking woman sitting behind a desk, going through some papers. She has dark brown hair loosely down, and reading glasses. When I close the door, she looks up and figures out who I am.

"Oh! Yes, come in. Sit down." I start to walk forward but see the chair. It has armrests. Are there chains on that too? She notices my discomfort. "Is it the chair?" I nod and she moves it away, motioning me over to a couch where she sits in a different chair next to the couch.

"I'm Dr. Byrd, and I'll be helping you handle your relapses and help you get your memory back."

"Madge." I force out and she nods.

"They told me that you don't like to talk much, but that's completely fine. Today, all I need you too do is write down some things on this clipboard, okay?" I nod and she hands me the clipboard, careful not to touch me.

I stare at the sheet. It asks basic things like my name, age, date of birth, stuff like that. Then it gets into the more complicated stuff, like the last thing I remember before my memory was wiped, if I've seen the tapes of the 74th Games or the Victory Tour, and how my torture went. At this question, I find it a bit hard to write it down. I don't want to write it down because if I do it'll be set in stone, for anyone to see. Finally, I manage.

The last question on the sheet asks if I want my memory back. Yes, I do want it back. I want to know what went on during the Games, and after. I hand it back to her and she gives me another one, this time, it's on my relapses.

It asks how long they usually last, when the last one was, what happens in them, etc. etc. My hand keeps shaking as I write them down.

"Now, Madge, when one of these happens, I want you to write it down on this sheet and say how long it lasts. I also want you to tell me immediately if they last longer than an hour, can you do that?" I nod and she continues. "When they do happen, if you know it's going to come, I want you to take deep breaths and tell someone, Haymitch, your father, anyone. They will be notified on what to do." I nod and she glances at the clock above the door.

"If there's anything you want to get out, get it off of your chest, go ahead and say it. I'm not going to judge you, or even discriminate you because of it."

I think for a minute. "I just feel so lost here."

"That's normal. There's another boy, Sayer Lytle, who comes to see me. He feels the same way because of his torture. He was tortured the same way you were, besides the memory issues. You should talk to him sometime, compare notes on how to help yourself because of it."

I nod, and she keeps going. "Now, I have to run some tests on your vital's to make sure nothing's off, or anything." I think she means to make sure those men didn't get me pregnant. I don't know.

I follow her slowly down the hall and she puts me in a room. "I'm not going to hurt you. These tests are very important." I nod and she continues. When she's done, she stares at the results, puzzled.

"Well that's odd.."

"What's odd?"

"It's saying that you are not pregnant, which I guess is a good thing, but it was announced before the 75th Games that you were." She goes to the telephone. "Yes, I need to talk to Haymitch Abernathy. He should be in Command. Yes, it's important."

She pauses. "Hello, Mr. Abernathy, I'm Dr. Byrd, I'm Madge Undersee's therapist. Yes, I need you to come up here real quick. Yes it's important." She listens for a moment, before she hangs up. Quickly, she leaves the room and I sit on the raised bed, staring at my hands.

Soon, she's back as Haymitch is here too. "Yes, it's saying that she's not pregnant, but it was announced that she was and,"

"Oh, that's fine. She wasn't to begin with; Snow pulled that one on them."

"Okay, then that's all. I was confused because no one told me that she wasn't."

"No, she's not. Neither of them were ready for that, yet." I feel my face burn when I realize what Haymitch is talking about. "Yeah, I'm talking about you, missy." I look down as he smirks at me.

"Is she done for today?"

"Yes, she's done. She should come back tomorrow if anything happens." I say good-bye to her and follow Haymitch out of the room and back upstairs.

"Learn anything new?"

I shake my head and he sighs. "It'll come back to you. I'm sure it will. If you want to remember, then you will."

"I want too I just.."

"You just what?" He asks, punching a button in the elevator.

"I don't know how much I want to remember."

"I would assume all of it, because Gale was associated with most of it. And you want to remember him, I assume?" I nod and he continues, "then you have to remember most of it. Probably all of it. According to your dad, you had liked him before the Games and then you fell in love during the Games. You probably should remember all of it."

I'm quiet the rest of the walk back, trying to assess all of this. Nothing makes sense to me. I don't remember knowing Gale before the Games, nor during the Games. I definitely don't remember liking him. God, my life is confusing.

* * *

_A/N: Early Merry Christmas! Thought I'd get this up before Christmas, like a gift for my amazing reviewers c: hate it, love it? I like it, so I hope y'all do too._


	50. Chapter 50

**Disclaimer: All characters owned by Suzanne Collins, or most of them.**

* * *

The day drags on slowly. I keep thinking about what Haymitch said about remembering everything. I mean, remembering everything would be fine but when I have unbelievable nightmares like everyone said I had before then I don't know what I'm going to do.

Haymitch had to go back to Command because apparently Coin didn't like the fact that he had to leave in the middle of it, because of me. So I wander. Try to sort out my thoughts. I end up getting on the elevator and going down several levels until my ears pop. How many levels are in this place?

Soon enough, the elevator stops and I'm forced to get off. The lights are dimmer here, and there's some security to get past the doors. The guard is asleep though, head down on the desk. So, I push my way through the door and surprisingly, nothing alerts anyone that I'm here. I keep walking down the hallways, until a big vast space comes, with targets and several weapons on the walls. Guns, bombs, bows, everything.

There's someone down here, I think, besides the guard, at least. So, I keep walking, and find that someone is down here. Two people. They're practicing with the bow and the trident. Both of them are very good at it, the one with the bow doesn't miss, neither does the one with the trident.

I'm starting to think that I shouldn't be here.

"Madge? What're you doing here?" Gale's looking at me now, his bow pointing towards the ground. I step out into the harsh light and shrug.

"Wandering." Finnick keeps throwing the trident and it's hitting the dummies, causing fake blood to squirt out, reminding me off when they would whip me and- No. Don't think about it.

"Stop it, Odair." Gale growls at him. Gale's seen how uncomfortable I am. Finnick does stop, and drops the trident, before turning to Gale, looking curious as to why he made him stop, when he catches sight of me.

"Oh. How'd she get down here?"

"I'm wondering the same thing." Gale mutters, raising one of his eyebrows at me. I swallow, and can't get the words out. I don't know Finnick, I'm afraid he's going to hurt me.

"You said she was talking, Gale."

"Shut up. One second." He grumbles and turns to me. "What's wrong?" He asks gently.

"Is.. is he going to hurt me?"

"Finnick?" I nod and he gives me a small smile, "No, Finnick is not going to hurt you." I nod again and Gale talks again. "How did you get down here, anyways?"

"Just walked in, really."

"Guard didn't stop you?"

"He was asleep. No alarms either."

Gale and Finnick look at each other before shrugging it off. "Systems must still be down from the bombing." Finnick goes back to throwing the trident, this time at regular targets, not ones with fake blood squirting out of them, and Gale stays next to me.

"Why were you wandering, anyways?" He asks, shrugging his quiver off and setting it down.

"Haymitch had to go back to Command."

"Why weren't you in Command?"

"Doctor thing." I still can't manage over two or three sentences at a time, but I guess people are happy with me for now, until Coin forces me to get better faster than I can.

"Oh. How'd that go?"

I shrug. "Couldn't tell. Just ran some tests and I answered questions." He starts to walk away to put his bow up and I follow, slowly, dragging my feet.

"What kind of tests?"

"Vitals. Made sure I wasn't pregnant from..." I trail off and start fiddling with my fingers. He notices it too and sighs.

"You're not, right?" I shake my head and his tensed muscles relax. "Good. C'mon, we should go." He says his goodbyes to Finnick and Finnick flashes me a wink before we leave. The guard is still asleep and we can leave without being stopped. Once in the elevator, it's quiet until I ask something that's been bugging me.

"Gale?" He turns to look at me and nods his head, as if to say 'go on', "can I ask you something?"

"You can talk to me about anything, Madge." He says gently and I take a breath, staring at the floor.

This'll be the longest thing I've said, probably. "I've heard some people say that our Games weren't that bad. If they weren't that bad, why did they affect me so much?"

He doesn't say anything for a little, he just chews on the inside of his cheek until he talks. "The Games were horrible. People don't realize exactly how horrible they are until they screw with your life, with the people you love. They affected you so much because President Snow kept throwing obstacle after obstacle at you and you didn't know what to do. After is when it really got you. Things just got worse, really. We were both forced into stuff neither of us were ready for." Reminds me of what Haymitch said about us earlier.

"Did.." I don't know how to get it out. I asked Haymitch about it before he had to go back to Command and he just grumbled and said we didn't exactly share our private lives with him, or something like that. Said he didn't and wouldn't want to know if we went that far.

"Did what, Madge?"

I can't look at him. It's too embarrassing. "Everyone says we loved each other a lot. Did we ever..?" I'm sure my face is red. Pretty damn sure.

"No, we didn't. We could hardly handle ourselves, let alone a baby." I nod and stare at the elevator floor as we continue to go up, and he continues, "I knew that you wanted to have kids someday, just not anytime soon. I don't know where you stand on that now because of.." This time, he trails off staring at the ceiling a blinking a few times.

Yes, I still want to have kids. Not within the next three or four years, maybe longer. I want to have kids with someone I can trust, someone who won't take advantage of me like the men in the Capitol did. They took advantage of me a lot. I don't want to have kids with someone like that.

The elevator dings and I hurry out, trying to not look him in the eye.

"Madge?" I'm forced to turn around when he calls my name. He pauses, like he wants to say something, but decides against it, "See you around?"

I nod slowly. "See you around."

Then, I turn and try to get away as fast as I can. I can't think straight. I don't know what to do at all. I end up back at my compartment pretty quickly and immediately bury my face in a pillow in my room. Frankly, at the moment, I don't care where my father is. He hardly talks to me anymore, most of the time he's sleeping.

Once my face is in the pillow, a silent stream of tears slips out and then I'm sobbing. Nothing makes sense! Every time something good happens, of course, two more bad things have to happen in place of it.

And then I had to go and make it all awkward around Gale! That's not what I wanted to do! I want to figure everything out, but whenever I try, I end up saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and it makes it worse for the both of us. I want to know more about him, I do! I just can't figure out why this had to happen to me!

I know I helped start a rebellion but that doesn't mean that you have to torture me for it! Everything is just so complicated, I don't know what to do anymore.

No one does, a small voice in my head says. Of course no one does. We're on the brink of war, a war we need to win, and the only one who has any clue what to do is Coin, but I don't know about her. She's not a good leader, I know that.

And of course, I had to go and ruin everything with Gale by asking about what we did and what we didn't do before. It was just an honest question, I didn't know! I want to know what happened, though...

I end up crying myself to sleep only to wake up a couple hours later with nightmares with images I don't remember.

* * *

Hazelle and Rory Hawthorne don't know what to think when Gale comes into their compartment, and immediately bangs his head on a wall.

"Gale? Rough day?" Hazelle calls down the hall, and Gale walks out from the hallway, looking deathly tired. He collapses backwards on the coach and rubs his eyes, before nodding.

"What was it today?"

"Madge," he sucks in a breath and stops rubbing his eyes, revealing blood-shot gray eyes.

"What about Madge?" Rory asks. He's noticed that Gale hasn't been sleeping. It got better when Madge started talking, but not by much. He wonders if this is what love does to you.

"I almost said it." He grumbles, resorting to rubbing his eyes again.

"Said what, dear?" Hazelle says, moving next to Gale slowly.

"I love you. I just.. I don't even know what I was thinking."

"You weren't, Gale." Hazelle says gently trying to make it seem better.

"I don't know what to do. It's like she's here, but she's not. She's not Madge."

"We've had this conversation before, Gale. She may not be herself again." Hazelle murmurs, trying to help her son. Rory sits helplessly in the other chair, watching.

"But I want her to be herself. I miss her, the real Madge. It's like every time we get over one hurdle there's another one right behind it. What if I'm doing all of this for nothing, Ma? What if she ends up moving on and finding someone else? What if she's already found someone else and is just-" He doesn't get to finish, as Rory, who had remained silent until now, stands up and smacks Gale firmly on the head.

"You know that's not true! She's Madge, she wouldn't do that!" Rory protests and Gale stares at him.

"That's not Madge out there. Madge would be here right now, not living alone because her father hardly pays attention to her anymore."

There's silence, and then Hazelle speaks, "Is he neglecting her?"

"I don't know, Ma. She just said that he doesn't do much anymore and he hardly talks to her. Or something like that. I don't really know." His head drops to his hands and Hazelle watches him. This is really breaking him. He really loves this girl. It takes Hazelle and Rory and moment to figure out that Gale is _crying_. They both know very well that Gale _never_ cries. Hazelle remembers the last time she saw him cry, and that was years ago, when his father died.

"Gale, please listen to me." She forces him to look at her and wipes a couple of his tears away. "I know it's hard, and it's not going to get easier if you keep doing this."

"I just want her to remember now, Ma. I can't stand this, not being able to touch her or kiss her or anything. It's driving me crazy, I swear it's going to kill me." Rory, at this point, decides that it's time for him to leave, to leave Hazelle and Gale to talk.

"Ma, I just don't know what to do anymore. She means so much to me and sometimes I swear she's doing nothing to try to remember and I'm doing everything to get her to remember. She just got past the stage of being able to talk to me, and then I had to go and make it all awkward, back to square one."

"Gale, Madge has been through so much, too. Not just you. I've watched the two of you fight for your lives and still manage to fall in love, despite the situation. Both of you have been through so much in the last year and a half, that there shouldn't be anything either of you can't get over."

"But she doesn't remember any of it. How can I get her to even let me hug her, when she doesn't even understand why I love her?"

"You tell her why you love her, Gale." Hazelle says gently, wiping another tear from his face. She hates seeing any of her children like this, especially Gale. Everyone assumes he's strong and can handle it, but he can't handle this one. He's so scared for the girl he loves that she won't remember him at all.

"How can I tell her when she hardly trusts me?"

"She trusts you more than you think, Gale. Who did she come to when she needed to talk in the middle of the night? _You_. Who let her talk when she needed to talk, instead of lashing out at her like you actually do? You, Gale. She does trust you, Gale. She may not have told you, or made it seem like she does trust you, but she does. Even I can see that much and I don't know her near as well as you do."

Gale takes a shaky breath, and Hazelle can tell he's trying not to break to pieces in front of her. He's been through so much, from the moment those Games started to now, and he's been holding it in this entire time. She doesn't know if he's ever broken like this in front of Madge. What about during all those nights where she needed him, did he need her just as much?

"Gale, it's okay to cry, you know." Hazelle says, cupping one of his cheeks.

"I just.." He lets out a breath before his head drops to his mother's shoulder. "I just don't know what to do anymore." He finally chokes and then he's actually crying, for the first time in years. And Hazelle has no clue what to do about it. Usually, Madge would be there and would know exactly what to say and what to do to calm him down and reassure him. But she's not here. And Hazelle wonders if she'll ever be here. So, she just holds her son, the son who is no longer a boy, but a man who needs his mother.

* * *

_A/N: Deep stuff guys, deep stuff. I wanted to put this scene in because I thought it was important to see how much it's affecting Gale, not just Madge. And basically, they're both beating themselves up for it. Thoughts? Hate it, love it? I actually had a lot of fun writing this, so I hope y'all like it! c:_

_And woah. When did this reach 50 chapters?! And I can't believe it's been like 6 months since I started this story! I have to say this: Without all of the lovely reviewing and support, it never would've gotten this far. So, thank you every one who has taken the time to review and give me tips, it really means a lot to me. A lot. So thanks c:_


	51. Chapter 51

I don't go to breakfast the next morning. To emotionally worn out to move, really. Also, I really don't know what do to about the Gale issue. Everything was going fine until I had to open my mouth and make it awkward. I bet he won't even speak to me.

A sudden knocking on the door finally gets me up. I know my dad won't get it, he hardly comes out of his room anymore, or hardly talks. Mostly, I hear him coughing in the middle of the night.

I wrap one of the blankets around my shoulders and slowly walk to the door, where the knocking increases.

Quietly, I open the door to reveal Haymitch. Haymitch speaks quickly, without even waiting for me to open the door all the way.

"Hawthorne looks like he's been hit by a truck, and you don't look too good either. What happened?"

I'm so taken aback by the suddenness of the question that I can't think for a moment, until he asks again, slower this time.

"Both you and Hawthorne look like you had a rough night. Something happen between you two?"

I shrug, even though I know full well what happened. I don't want to talk about it. Not yet, not now, probably not ever. Just not in the mood to cry anymore.

"Come on, sweetheart. We aren't stupid. When you didn't show up, I think most of us figured out something had happened. Even Posy knew it! When we asked Hawthorne where you were, he shrugged and didn't say anything! When we asked him to come and get you, he ignored it and pretended to like his breakfast, when we all know that stuff is rubbish."

"Nothing happened." I force out and then fall backwards on the small couch, covering my face with the blanket.

"Sweetheart, I'm not stupid." Haymitch growls, pulling the blanket off of my head. In response, I pull it tighter around me. "Where's your dad, does he know anything about this?!"

"I don't talk to my dad anymore."

"Why?" Haymitch sounds a little angry.

"He's never around." Finally I force out the three words and he grumbles, going into my dad's room and I guess attempting to pull him out of bed.

That obviously doesn't work, because Haymitch quickly comes back out and dials the emergency number. Though, nothing's wrong with me. Slowly, I force myself to stand on shaking legs and attempt to walk to my father's room, but Haymitch shoves me back on the couch. He says some hurried words to the emergency clerk, words I can't catch, and then puts me back in my room.

"Don't come out until someone tells you too, okay?"

I nod slowly, and retreat to sit on my bed. There's a lot of movement outside of the room, and I think people keep trying to come in here, but Haymitch or someone stops them. I really have no clue what's going on, anymore. Not with Gale, not with my father, not even me.

Finally, a few minutes later, Haymitch slips in the room and tells me to take a shower and change very quickly.

So, I do. Or as quick a shower as you can in District 13. When I come out, Haymitch is still waiting and asks me to grab my things. As in everything from District 12. I'm getting very confused. I grab everything and he throws it in his compartment before leading me to the elevator. Quickly, the elevator goes to the hospital level. Is there something wrong with me that they have to get checked out?

He leads me to the waiting area and tells me to sit down and wait. He leaves again. This time, he's gone for a while, before he comes back, this time with Gale. Immediately, my eyes find the floor, determined to count how many flooring tiles there are.

"Madge, come here." Haymitch says slowly, and I do stand, slowly going to him, keeping my head down. "Madge, look at me." I'm forced to look at Haymitch and he sighs.

"Your father is very sick, Madge. He has been sick for a while. Not like your mother but, he's still sick. While back in 12, when the bombing happened, he stayed behind and tried to get as many people as he could out before the smoke got to him. He inhaled so much smoke in there, it gave him damage to his lungs. He's had trouble breathing, he's been coughing a lot, and hasn't felt like doing anything. Gale said that when he talked to him a few days ago, he said that he didn't look to good." I glance at Gale to find him staring at the floor, much like I was a few seconds ago. "Your father didn't tell you about it because he didn't know what it was, and he didn't want to worry you more."

I swallow thickly as Haymitch continues. "They're going to put him through surgery to see if they can do anything about it, maybe to prevent it from spreading further. For the time being, you're going to move in with me until he gets better." The words _if he gets better _ring in the silence. I feel sick. My dad's sick. I swallow again and Haymitch leads me down to where he's in surgery, Gale following behind slowly. I can't think straight. I really can't.

As soon as we're in the surgery ward, I practically fall onto one of the couches and my head falls into my hands. On top of everything else, I have this to deal with too. This is just not my week.

Haymitch and Gale are talking in hushed whispers a little further away from me as I try to calm down. Finally, footsteps start to approach me and I look up into the concerned eyes of Gale. Though, he does look like he's been hit by a truck. His eyes are a little red and he has bags under his eyes. I'm sure I look the same way.

Slowly, he sits on the couch and clasps his hands. "Rough day, huh?" He asks gently and I still can't look at him.

I nod a little and he sighs, shifting in his seat, "Wanna talk about it?" I know he's trying to help, but in all honestly, it's not really helping me. I shake my head quickly and try to prevent the tears from falling out of my eyes. I can't do this anymore. I just can't. It seems that every time I can get something under control the universe decides to make it so much worse.

Much to my displeasure, the tears make their way out and I try to wipe them away before Gale or Haymitch can notice, but then I'm being consumed with sobs I can't control it. Then, before I know what's going on, someone's wrapping me into a hug. My first instinct is to get away because whoever it is could hurt me. They turn me around and I find that it's Gale. Gale won't hurt me. I bury my head into his chest as his arms tighten around me. He starts to rock me gently, probably to help. My sobs are muffled a little, and my hands clutch his shirt in bunches as I'm overwhelmed with images from stuff I don't remember.

Gale scowling at me at my backdoor, Gale down on one knee, Gale playing with my hair, so much more. It's all of Gale, no one else. It makes me more confused, but a little comforted to know that I'm starting to remember a little more. Even if I have no clue where the images come from, or why they happened, or anything, I'm remembering bits and pieces.

"Shh.. You're okay, you're okay. I got you." He murmurs, as one of his hands tangles in my hair, but I'm not focusing on that. I'm focusing on Gale. He smells like smoke, despite being underground for weeks, months even. He's unbelievably gentle and warm. When my cries turn to sniffles, his thumb wipes away the rest of the tears and he releases me slowly. I didn't want him to let go. It felt _natural_ being in Gale's arms, like I'm supposed to be there.

"Better?" He asks gently, wiping away another stray tear and I nod slowly before throwing my arms around his neck. At first, he's a little surprised that I'm actually touching someone voluntarily, but then his arms hesitantly twist around my waist.

"Thank you, Gale." I force out in a choked voice and his arms tighten again and I think he buries his face in my hair because his breath is warm on my neck.

"You don't have to thank me. I'll be here for you." He murmurs and I slowly release him, and he gives me a small smile. "Better now?"

"Yeah. Better." I know I'm not lying and when he brushes a little of my hair behind my ear I don't flinch. That may be one of the first times I haven't tried to move away when someone touches me.

"Good." He says and I look at my hands and then Haymitch. He's either been watching us the entire time and decided to be tactful enough to pretend like he wasn't, or he actually wasn't watching us. He's talking to a doctor, probably about my father and such. Haymitch finally glances at us, does a double take when he sees our proximity. I guess we're still close to each other from when I was crying. I hate crying so much.

Haymitch walks over at stares at the both of us, his gaze lingering on Gale longer than me.

"He's still in surgery. I know it's sudden but no one had any idea what was going on. Still don't. Whatever his has isn't common here." I nod, the lump in my throat returning, "they're trying their best, but they said no promises." I try to swallow the lump, and stare at the ground.

"How long will he be in surgery?" Gale asks Haymitch and he sighs.

"Said he won't be able to have visitors for a while after. Didn't exactly say how long he would be in there."

"Oh." I force out and I lean back against the couch and rub my eyes, trying not to cry again. Not that I would mind being held by Gale again, but still. I think I've had enough crying to last me a life time and I don't even remember before my torture. Haymitch glances at my schedule he hastily made me put on my arm earlier and sighs.

"Madge, you have to go meet with Dr. Byrd. Make sure you tell her, or write it down, about your father. I can't take you, Coin wanted to talk to me, so can you figure your way down there?"

Slowly, I stand as Gale says he'll take me there. Good, because last time I got lost trying to find my way. Haymitch gives Gale a look and Gale rolls his eyes before Haymitch looks at me.

"You going to be okay?" I nod, and Haymitch nods back. "You remember where I live?"

"Right next to me." He nods again.

"Now, go on. You're meeting with Sayer today too." Haymitch stays with us until we reach his floor and he leaves, giving Gale another glance. I remember our conversation from yesterday in the elevator and immediately feel awkward.

We're both quiet until we reach my floor and he leads me down there. Before I go in, though, he talks again.

"You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah." I pause and fiddle with my fingers.

"I'll get you if anything happens," I swallow. Will anything happen? "Not that there's a chance anything will happen, but just in case." He says hastily, and I nod.

"Thank you." I finally choke out and he nods giving me a soft smile, but doesn't ask why I'm thanking him, because I'm pretty sure he knows why. Because he comforted me when I needed someone.

"Go on. Don't want to be late." He says, opening the door for me and I get a glimpse of Dr. Byrd and another boy, who I'm assuming is Sayer, indiscreetly staring at us and my gaze shifts to the ground as Gale tells me that he'll see me later.

From now on, I decide, Gale's the only one I'm going to trust to touch me because I know he won't hurt me. It's not much, but it's something. I'm getting there.

* * *

_A/N: Sorry if this is shorter than normal, but it's something, I guess? Thoughts? I know Madge's father's disease or whatever is sudden, but I've been dropping hints about it a few times, but I think most of y'all are going to pay attention to the other big thing that happened between Gale and Madge c:_


	52. Chapter 52

"Hello Madge." I wave a little at Dr. Byrd. It's sort of quiet in the room. I wonder if the boy named Sayer doesn't talk much either.

"Madge, Sayer. Sayer, Madge." Dr. Byrd says, introducing us to each other. I finally get a glimpse of the boy. He was the one I saw being dragged out of the cell before they knocked me out. I guess he's about Gale's age, maybe a year or two younger. I don't know.

"Hi." He says slowly, holding out his hand to shake mine. I notice he has whip marks along his wrists too, but they travel all the way up his arms. They disappear under his shirt sleeves. I glance at Dr. Byrd and she nods, insisting that he won't hurt me. The only person I've voluntarily touched is Gale, as of now, but if Sayer went through the same torture that I did, then he must have issues with touching people, too. So we slowly shake hands before they drop to our sides.

Quickly, with Dr. Byrd watching me with kind eyes, I drop slowly into the chair that doesn't have the armrests on it. She continues to stare, "So, I figured that the two of you went through mostly the same torture," both of us involuntarily flinch, "you could help each other, tell each other how you cope and move on from it." Silence. Neither of us move, until Sayer speaks, his voice cracky.

"Do you think that will help?"

"Well, my thoughts were that because Madge doesn't talk much because of it, and you are able to talk, then you could help her with that, and she could help you get used to being touched by people again, because I have a feeling that has gotten better." She gives me a pointed look and my eyes drop to my lap. I want to tell her what happened between me and Gale, but I don't know if I want Sayer to hear it.

"Oh." I finally force out Sayer turns to me slightly.

"So how do you cope?" He seems bitter. I guess it's because of the torture. I'm not bitter, just afraid of anyone who touches me. Or even comes within ten inches of me. I shrug. I guess I'm still a little afraid that he's going to try to hurt me.

"Madge," Dr. Byrd says gently, her voice forcing me to look at her, "He's not going to hurt you, if that's what you're worried about." I nod, slowly and Sayer talks again.

"Plus, I'm pretty damn sure that Hawthorne would beat me if I even put a finger on you." He scoffs, leaning back in his chair crossing his arms over his chest. I feel a blush sprout over my cheeks and I look down because I know it's probably true..

Dr. Byrd continues, completely oblivious to the discomfort Sayer and I have between us. I don't really know how much I like Sayer at the moment. He just seems rude, and stuff, but I guess that's because he went through hell, but I did too, and I don't feel like that.

Finally, Sayer decides it's time for him to go. The whole meeting was just a bust. Neither of us said much, or even acknowledged the others existence.

When he leaves, Dr. Byrd sighs. "That didn't go like I planned." I shake my head and her eyes turn back to me. "So I sense there is something you've been waiting to tell me?"

I nod and take a breath. "My dad's in the hospital." Her eyebrows raise, telling me to continue. "He has some disease and they have to give him surgery."

"I'm sorry." She says, sounding generally concerned as she jots something down on her clipboard. "Anything else?"

I nod and continue to stare at my hands. Stuff like this always makes me shy. "I let Gale touch me."

She nods, and gives me a small smile. "No surprise there. I figured the two of you couldn't stay far apart for long." I blush again and she smiles more broadly, pulling out another sheet.

"On a different note, a few more results from your tests came back."

"And?"

"It looks like they gave you a shot before your night session." I nod slowly, cringing inwardly. "That was to prevent you from conceiving, and it will last three years. So when you turn twenty, the effects will ware off." I nod again. Yeah, because I'll definitely have sex after what I went through.

"Dr. Byrd, what if-"

"Please, Madge, that makes me sound old. Call me Mona." I nod and try to make it not sound weird.

"Mona what if I never remember anything?"

She pauses, before ruffling through some papers. "I'm sure you will, Madge. Have you remembered anything?"

I shrug. "I'll get random images that don't make sense to me, but that's it."

"Well, I'm sure your memory will come back, but over time. It'll be a while, yeah. And it's going to suck. It's really going to suck. But I'm sure you can get through it. You've gotten through a lot, though you don't remember it. A little memory issue isn't going to stop that."

* * *

I have another relapse. But this time, it lasts for forty-five minutes. Not five. Forty-five. And it terrifies me. It terrifies Haymitch too. I get put back in the hospital for a day because of it. They claim that it could happen again because it lasted for so long.

So the entire day, instead of going to the hospital to learn about sickness and stuff, or going to see Dr. Byrd, or Mona as she puts it, I'm stuck in a hospital bed with the "Crazy" badge branded on me again. I thought that was going away. I guess not, because the band on my wrist is back.

Finally, when I start to fall asleep in the uncomfortable bed that I was stuck in for a while ago, the door opens quietly. I groan inwardly. Of course, just as I'm going to sleep someone has to come in. Probably Haymitch on my dad's condition. According to him, he's been subjected to bedrest, like me, I guess. Groggily, I open my eyes to find Gale standing at the door.

"Hey." He says quietly, attempting to give me a smile but it falls off of his face quickly. Slowly, he walks closer, afraid that I might start screaming like I was earlier. I sit up from my position on my side and rest against the pillows as he sits on the edge of the bed, closer than I would normally allow anyone too, but it's Gale. I trust him. "What are you doing here?"

I shrug. "Relapse." He frowns and meets my eyes.

"But why'd you have to come to the hospital?" He spits out, eyes facing the ground.

"They were worried it was going to happen again."

"How long did it last?"

"Almost an hour." I sigh, shuffling back deeper under the covers. Gale's eyes flit back to mine, and my heart skips a beat. That shouldn't happen. Yeah, I guess I am getting to know him more, but I don't even know how deep the feelings run. Everyone says that I loved him, but when I don't remember him, much less love him, then I really don't know.

"Well you didn't have to come back to the hospital because of it." He spouts out bitterly, face morphing into another frown as he stands and starts to pace. "I don't like you being in the hospital. If you're fine, you shouldn't be in here."

"I have to be in here for a day." I force out and he sits back down on the bed, though closer to me this time. And I don't flinch. Not even a twitch. And I'm completely overjoyed that I've gotten over a little hurdle out of the thousand that are left.

"Well I don't want you in here." He grumbles, rubbing his eyes.

"I don't want to be in here, either." I groan as he looks at my wrist, before grabbing it gently. I don't flinch, again. Before I know what he's doing, he's ripping the band off of my wrist and crumpling it in his hand. "What are you doing?"

He shrugs, before tossing it into the wastebasket. "You don't need that, they can't just put that brand on you when they don't even know you." He grumbles, and I shift again. I don't even know myself, let alone those doctors. Gale notices my shift and immediately moves further away from me. "Did I get to close?"

I shake my head quickly and he stops moving away, instead shifts closer again. "Then what's wrong?"

"How can you tell when something's wrong with me?"

"Because I know you. And you make this adorable face, not to mention." I feel a pink spread across my cheeks and he grins a little. "So what's wrong?"

I sigh, before finally speaking. "You say that people can't call me crazy because they don't know me. How are they going to know me when I don't even know myself, Gale?"

"Madge, you do know yourself. You're just confused because you don't know your past or what exactly you've seen. When you can figure some of that out, you get to know yourself again."

Quickly, I nod, before thinking for a second. "I want to get to know you." I finally say, and his eyebrows quirk up.

He sits more fully on the bed, tucking his feet under him. "What do you wanna know?"

I think for a minute, sitting up myself. "Middle name."

He groans quickly, giving me a look. "Anything but the middle name, Madge." I laugh and he grins again. "Alexander." I have to bite my lip from letting a bubble of laughter out and he gives me another grin. "Yeah, yeah, go ahead and laugh."

"I'm not laughing." I try to say, but end up giggling. When I finally stop giggling, I speak again. "Mine's Eryn."

"I know."

"What _don't_ you know about me?"

"Not much, I can tell you that." He pauses to shift on the bed. "What else?"

It takes me a while to think of something else to ask him. "What was your Victor talent or whatever?"

"I don't think I ever got around to telling you that. Just had too much to think about. Don't laugh at this, but I found out that I was pretty good at making jewelry. You know that necklace that you have in your room?" I nod, and he continues. "Well, I made it for you on your birthday." Finally, the mystery is explained! It makes sense now, I guess.

"Oh. Okay. I'm guessing mine was the piano?"

He nods. "You were pretty damn good at it, too."

"I miss it." I sigh, my eyes drifting downwards.

"There's one here, you know. Downstairs. I could take you sometime, if you want." Quickly I nod, and he grins. Maybe this can work.

* * *

_A/N: So, I suck for taking forever. Sorry! Life has just been insane. After New Year, I was spending a lot of time with friends, and didn't really know what to write! Then, I had camp, and I got sick at camp (which sucked, by the way) and yeah. I meant to get it up last week, but something came up, and sorry. Sorry if this is short too. I'm expecting to write a long chapter next. It's probably going to be a _major_ turning point._


	53. Chapter 53

_"No. You're mine and I can do whatever I want to you."_

_"There is a side of me that only forty-seven other people have seen, and coincidentally, those people are all dead."_

I sit straight up in my bed, rubbing my eyes. The voices from my dream echo in my head. Immediately, I shoot straight out of my bed and hurry into the living room of Haymitch's compartment. He isn't up yet. I wonder what time it is.

Quickly, I hurry out the door. It must be breakfast, there are people going to the cafeteria. They don't pay much mind to me as I hurry past them. All of my dream was all too familiar. The man I've seen before. He was one of men who came every other night in the prisons. What is it that he said? 'I've been waiting a long time for this.' Yes, that was him. He was the man in my dream, I know it.

In the dream, it looked like we were in some ballroom, dancing. Haymitch was behind me. Threatening the man not to touch me again. But he still got what he wanted. He still touched me.

Shaking the thought out of my head, and continue down the hallway until I reach my destination. Knocking on the door, my hands are shaking and my head pounding.

"Madge? Are you okay?" Rory asks, and I immediately start talking.

"Is Gale here?"

He stares for a moment, and then nods. "Yeah. Come on in, I'll go get him." I follow Rory into the living room, and Vick and Posy smile at me. Mrs. Hawthorne nods her head at me in greeting.

"Is something wrong, Madge?" She asks gently, standing from the couch and coming over to me.

"I just need to talk to Gale about something." She smiles at me as Gale and Rory come out from the bedroom, Gale looking a little concerned.

"Hey," He finally says, pulling me gently by my wrist into the hallway. I don't flinch. "You okay?"

I take a breath and speak, "I think I'm remembering." He shifts on his feet, trying to hide his excitement. He thinks I'm remembering stuff about him.

"What'd you remember?"

My eyes shift to the ground and I swallow. Even now, after being out of the prison for weeks, I still feel violated because of the torture. I feel so violated because of what they did to me. "I-I know who one of the men was. I think it was on our Victory Tour. Haymitch threatened him and he said that I was his."

Gale's quiet for a moment. "I swear to God if I ever find this guy, I'm going to kill him. He had no right to say that to you. No right at all. No right to even come near you." I can literally see him shaking in anger and frustration.

"Gale, it's okay." I mutter, and he shakes his head abruptly, running his hand through his hair.

"No, it's not Madge." He responds, sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor. His head drops to his hands. "It's my fault."

"It's not your fault, Gale." I start, and he shakes his head.

"It is my fault! Madge, if I hadn't let you out of my sight on our Victory Tour, then he wouldn't have.." He trails off and I slide down next to him. He doesn't even move, just continues to stare at the ground. He starts speaking again, his voice shaking, I think in anger. "I would take everything that you've been through in the last year in a heartbeat, just so you'd be okay and happy."

I don't say anything, just watch Gale. He looks extremely tired, like he hasn't slept in weeks. I can almost bet that he hasn't slept. He keeps rubbing his face and staring at the floor.

"Well it sucks that the first thing you remember is a bad memory." He lets out a dry laugh and I shrug.

"It wasn't really remembering. Just.. I don't know. It just.. seemed familiar."

He nods slowly, and then stands, holding his hand out to help me up. This time, I take it.

"You hungry?" He asks and I nod. He pulls up his sleeve and looks at his schedule. "Do you have any free time today?" I quickly look at mine, and nod.

"Yeah. After Command today."

He nods and smiles. "Good. I still need to bring you to the piano." I grin and the two of us start walking to breakfast. It's not until we get to the elevators that I realize that our hands are still linked. They fit together perfectly. My heart skips a beat. Yes, there's definitely something there. Gale slowly notices and starts to release my hand, but decides against it. I don't really want him to let go. I like holding his hand.

The two of us walk to the cafeteria together, and only then does he let go of my hand so we can get our trays. We must be really early to breakfast, as there aren't many people in the cafeteria. Gale and I are two of the seven in the cafeteria.

"What time is it?" I ask and he looks toward the giant clock on the wall.

"Seven fifteen."

"Oh. Did I wake you up? When I came?

"Nah. I was already up anyways." He doesn't elaborate, but my guess is a nightmare. They're reoccurring now, for me. I'm seeing the same ones now. Either Gale will be dead or something. Mostly it's Gale.

We sit down, and start to eat. "Are you still working in the hospital?"

"Yeah. I've been moved up into the hospital. Seems like I'm moving up really fast." He frowns, and I continue. "They said that if I pass the next exam then they'll put me on a team to go to the Capitol."

Gale's fork clatters onto his plate. "_What?_" I repeat what I said and he groans. "That was her plan all along."

"What?"

His voice lowers and he drops his mouth to my ear, "When Coin took you out of the Training, she said that you wouldn't have to fight. We didn't realize that she could put you on a Medical Team and still manage to get you to the Capitol." He finishes, and I try to process what he's saying, I really do, but his proximity to me is distracting.

"So what you're saying is..?"

He chuckles into my ear, sending goosebumps fleshing down my arms, "I'm saying that she wants me and you out of the way because we're what caused this whole mess, and she knows that neither of us exactly like her. That being said, I know that neither of us will want her as our president if the Capitol falls." I shake my head and he continues, "Basically, if we don't want her as president, everyone will get the hint that she's not the best person, and won't vote for her. She wants us dead."

I process all of the information. "Well that's comforting."

He laughs and nods, "Yeah, I know. It's not exactly the best thing to hear in the morning."

"No, it's not." We finish in a comfortable silence, and then Gale says he'll walk me to my session with Dr. Byrd.

"How's that going, anyways?"

I shrug. "Good, I guess. I'm not really sure."

"Well you seem like you're better to me." He responds, and says he'll see me in Command.

* * *

"You're in a good mood." Mona comments when I walk into her office. I sit down across from her and she smiles. "What happened?"

"I think I'm remembering." I tell her what I told Gale, and she jots all of it down on her clipboard.

"Well, it's a start. It's a small start, but it shows that you can start remembering. Now, because you've gotten some glimpse of what happened before your torture, I'm going to start giving you assignments to help remember more."

"Okay."

"These assignments will consist of pictures, and you must write what you think of when you see the pictures." I nod, and she hands me a small packet. "Go ahead and do the first one now, and then we'll talk." I open up the packet, and stare at the first picture while Mona taps something into the computer.

The first picture is a picture of a lake. I know that I'm supposed to be afraid of water, but just looking at it I'm not scared of it. Maybe it's just when I'm near it. I jot down a couple of words that come to mind. Pretty. Intriguing. Nothing that says I'm still afraid of it. I probably am, I just can't remember it.

I give it back to her and she types in a few more words in her computer. "So you're going to take the packet and do one of these every morning. Then, at your next session with me, I want you to bring the assignments with you so I can access what you've remembered, if anything.

"Not to be rude, but how is this going to help me?"

"It will help monitor what you're remembering. Each picture is something specific from your past, and when you remember the piece of information, there are specific words that should be written. We'll know that you have remembered that certain time when you write down certain words."

"What sort of stuff am I supposed to write?"

"Just write what you think when you see the picture."

"Oh." I flip through the papers, seeing a few different pictures. My aunt's pin, a knife, some other stuff. Roses. Immediately, I jot down deathly, and evil by that one. I know that those are bad, just because of how Haymitch and Gale reacted when they found them in the Victor Village's house.

After my session is over, I go to the hospital for work. Prim was moved up with me, along with a few more kids. I'm not longer the oldest, now there's a few older than me. Currently, I'm working with Prim on helping set a bone back in place. A few people crossed over the border early this morning and were in pretty rough shape. One girl died a couple hours ago because of her injuries, and the other two are still in the hospital.

Prim sets the bone and then I wrap it up so it doesn't move. The other one is getting checked out by someone else. When we finish setting the arm in place, we have to knock the girl out with morphling so she can sleep. I hate morphling and Prim has to do that for me.

The two of us go to where we have to practice and stuff. I manage to learn how to stitch wounds quicker and faster than before. I can stop blood from flowing out of wounds. Give CPR. I'm able to set bones now, like Prim. All stuff I'll need if I end up going to the Capitol on a Medical Team.

I can't get over that President Coin wants Gale and I dead. It's not like I'm going to get hurt on a Medical Team, I'm just helping people. Gale, on the other hand, is going to be in a full-blown war. He's actually going to be fighting.

Finally, we're released for the day, though we are released late, and Prim and I make it to lunch for the tail end of it. Like this morning, there aren't many people in the cafeteria this late in the lunch period. Prim and I sit down together and quickly eat before they force us out of there. Prim goes to her lessons, and I hurry to Command before Coin can count me as late.

I make it there literally two minutes before the meeting is supposed to start. I hurry into the room and sit in my place next to Haymitch. Gale grins at me from across the table, and I smile back. Coin immediately starts talking, and this time, I know that I can't tune her out.

"So, updates on the war. We now have District 2 on our side. The Rebels there were able to overthrow the Peacekeepers and the people on the Capitol's side. Other than 2, we have 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 11, and what would be 12 on our side, but considering the circumstances of 12, we have decided not to count that one as of now. We have four more districts in all to get on our side, but if we can get two or more, we will have enough power to overtake the Capitol and get in."

Haymitch shuffles through some papers next to me, and I try to glance at them, but he moves to fast. "We have a significant number of Rebels in District 5, but they are waiting for our signal before they can rebel and take control of the District."

"Send them the signal, the more Rebels we have, the better." Plutarch says, and someone in the room taps a few keys on their keyboard.

"The signal has been sent. They should receive it sometime in the next hour." They say, closing the laptop.

"Good." Coin muses, glancing around the room. "As for District 1, I doubt we will get control of them; the Capitol has always treated them better than the rest of us, and a lot of the citizens there are still very loyal to the Capitol. The few Rebels there would be crushed in an instant if they decided to rebel today."

"What about Districts 9 and 10?" Gale asks, looking at Haymitch.

"They have Rebels present in the Districts, but not enough to rebel against the Peacekeepers." The room is quiet for a moment, only the shuffling of paper and the squeaking of chairs is heard.

"Now, as for our plans for the war, we have teams being put together now," Coin is cut off by Katniss.

"President Coin, we aren't leaving to go to the Capitol for at least a month. Why are teams being put together?"

"Well, we were going to send a couple of them to Districts 9 and 10 to help with the Rebel cause, and we need them anyways for the war, so Plutarch and I figured that the teams should be together now."

"Don't drag me into this one," Plutarch responds quickly, sinking in his seat.

"Coin, the earliest time that we're going to leave is a month and a half. You said yourself that there weren't enough rebels in those districts to rebel. If we go, it's just an opportunity for someone to get themselves killed. Or for us to cause another district to get blown up. We've done that enough, we don't need to do that again." Finnick groans, trying to change Coin's mind.

"We weren't planning on sending many troops, just enough to get the districts under our control."

"It's not going to work," Finnick says, with agreement behind the statement, "Coin, you have to give the troops more time to prepare. We are obviously not ready."

"Well your squad is, Soldier Odair. Or, last I checked, they were. Your whole squad has been training since they arrived in 13, with the exception of Soldier Mason and Soldier Lytle, who got here around a month ago. Those two will be joining you later in the Training." She pauses, shuffling through some more papers, "As for the rest of your squad, they are all ready."

"Coin, we aren't leaving until the war actually starts in the Capitol." Gale says, and Coin shoots a glare at him that could kill. There's some more arguing before Coin finally agrees to push back the date of when the troops leave. They also agree that no troops will be sent to District 9 or 10 because of safety issues, and we really can't afford to blow up another District.

When the meeting adjourns, everyone disperses quickly, and Coin disappears into her office. Haymitch and Finnick walk out of the room talking about some sort of defense system, and Katniss walks out with Plutarch, though I don't think he was her first choice to walk with. He's probably going to try to make her go see Peeta again. I wonder how that's going. I make a mental note to ask her later when I see her.

Gale comes up to me and grins. "You ready?"

"What?"

"I'm taking you to the piano, remember?" He responds, smiling.

"Oh! Yeah, sorry." He chuckles, and tells me to follow him. We get in an elevator and go down a few levels. "Are we even allowed there?"

He thinks for a minute. "Probably not." I laugh and he grins again.

"How'd you even find it?"

He shrugs. "A couple days after we got here, I was just wandering around because I had no clue what to do and I came across it." A couple days.. That must've been after I gave that interview, or something. Maybe that's why my torture was as bad as it was. "You okay?" Gale asks when I shrink into the wall a little.

"Yeah. Fine." He still looks concerned and worried so I sigh. "Gale, I'm fine. You worry too much."

He finally accepts it as the elevator opens. He beckons for me to follow, and I do. Once outside of a door, he uses the keypad to unlock it, and then lets me in.

The piano in the room is much smaller than the one I had back home. But it still manages to make my fingers twitch from lack of playing it. There's a thin layer of dust on the keys and on top of it. Instead of the walls being a harsh white, are more of a beige color.

"This is amazing." I finally make out, and turn to Gale. He's smiling at me.

"Are you just going to stand there? Or are you going to play it?" Quickly, I move and sit on the bench. Gale's quiet steps follow behind me, but he doesn't move into my view.

"Sit down," I tell him and he actually listens to me, grinning, and moves next to me. He doesn't touch me, but just watches me. Slowly, I move my hands onto the keys and press one down, and frown. Something's wrong. Out of tune, I guess.

"Go on. Play." He murmurs, and I try again.

"I can't."

"Of course you can." He retaliates, pressing his own hand on a B flat. I cringe at the noise it makes when he presses another key down with it.

"Okay, okay. Stop. You're hurting my ears." I laugh and he removes his hands from the piano. "I'll try again." I press one down and this time it sounds right. I press a few more and keep cringing at how out of tune the piano is. But it's a piano, and it's better than nothing.

I keep playing it, my hands traveling up and down the keys and pressing the right notes, the ones that I remember. The ones that my mom taught me. When the song ends, it's deathly quiet in the room. I can only hear our breathing.

"Wow.." Gale trails off, but then continues again. "That was amazing, Madge." I blush and he pushes a piece of hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering on my cheek. His touch sends tingles down my spine, and my breath catches in my throat. "Teach me?" He murmurs, and I nod slowly as he removes his fingers while our heads turn to the piano.

"Put your hands there," I tell him, lifting his hands from his lap, and putting them on the right keys. When I tell him to play, he moves his hands, pressing the wrong keys. "Gale," I grumble and he chuckles as I try to put them back. Again, he moves them. "You're impossible." I laugh and he chuckles.

"Only sometimes." He responds, laughing as I try to put his hands in the right place. When he finally keeps his hands there, I nod.

"There you go." I play him a simple tune, and he plays it back, using only his pointer fingers to play. "Stop, just stop. You're killing me here." I try to teach him to use all of his fingers, but he can't seem to grasp the whole concept of it. "I give up. You obviously have no skill on the piano."

"Which is why you play it, to make up for how horrible I'm at it." I laugh again, and turn back to the keys. I tap out a couple more simple tunes, and he attempts to create them again, but always messes up at the last minute.

"I can't even explain how much this is hurting my ears." I tell him and he grins, pressing the B flat again, getting a grimace out of me. "You're absolutely horrible at this."

This time, he presses down on the keys with all of his fingers and I shove him off of the bench immediately. "Don't do that," I finally laugh and he presses the highest note down.

"What, you don't like it?" I nod and he grins. "You probably shouldn't have told me that." He goes to press the keys again, and I reach out and grab his wrist before he can.

"Are you trying to torture my ears?" As soon as I say it, I wish I could take it back. His eyes narrow a little, but then he straightens out a little and grins, but it seems forced.

"Definitely not. I'm just trying to see how mad you'll get." He jokes as he sits back down on the bench. "Here. I'll take it seriously this time." I narrow my eyes and give him a pointed look. "Hell, who am I kidding. I'm not going to take it seriously."

I grin and have to bite my lip to keep from laughing more. I've already laughed at him enough today. "Go on. Laugh." He grumbles, and I giggle.

"I'm not laughing."

"As you start giggling, yeah that's definitely not laughing." I laugh even more, at this one. I lean into him and he starts laughing, for no reason. I guess we haven't laughed enough. "Why are we even laughing?" Gale finally chokes out as he laughs into my hair.

"I don't even know." I say, my breath uneven because of all of the laughing. I realize that I trust Gale a lot more than I let on. I do like him, yes. I really do. Maybe I'm just afraid of being hurt again. But, I know he won't hurt me. It's Gale. He won't.

* * *

_A/N: Weelll. Sorry I've been gone forever. Life just got in the way. I'm going to try to get back to the once a week updates thing, but no promises! I was going to end this chapter a while back, and make y'all wait for them going to the piano room, but then I realized that I've made y'all wait long enough for this chapter. Anyways, the next chapter will be a continuation of this one. So their relationship is definitely improving. Predictions? Thoughts? _


	54. Chapter 54

**For this chapter, I'm doing something a little different. Half will be in Madge's POV, and the rest, per _Jajaboom's_ request, will be in Gale's.**

* * *

For the next thirty minutes or so, I keep attempting to teach Gale to play the piano. Eventually, I give up, considering that he has no musical talent whatsoever.

"You have no musical bone in your body." I tell him and he laughs.

"Which is why I don't play the piano." He checks his watch and curses under her breath. "Curfew's passed. We aren't supposed to be out." I slide off of the piano bench as he quickly strides to the door and turns the light off, leaving the only light streaming into the room from the hallway.

Slowly, he clicks open the door and sticks his head out. "C'mon, there's no one here." He pulls me into the hallway and we slowly continue down the dimly lit hallway. When we finally reach the end of the hallway, Gale shoves me behind him slightly as a couple of people with badges walk by. "You're not supposed to be down here this late."

"And you are?" I whisper, and he nods, continuing to pull me along through the hallways. When we finally manage to get to the elevator, Gale gently shoves me in first and then follows. When the elevator finally closes, he relaxes a little.

"Halfway there." He murmurs, drumming his fingers on the wall on the elevator. "We should be fine now, I think."

"Why is it such a big deal?"

"The night after we got here, Posy and I got lost looking for Haymitch and we got in trouble because we were out after curfew. Coin threw a fit." He starts, and then continues as the elevator continues to go upward, "Said we had to follow the schedule or there would be consequences or whatnot. I didn't really pay attention. Neither did Posy, I think."

I laugh as the elevator dings open. Gale quickly leads me to where I live. I punch in the code and then turn to face Gale. "I had a really good time, Gale. Thank you." He grins.

"So did I. We can go back down there again, if you want." I nod and he smiles. "I gotta go. See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow." Slowly, I close the door behind me, hoping the lock doesn't click. It does, and I sigh. Hopefully, Haymitch will not be up to bug me.

"And where were you?" Crap. Haymitch is up then.

"Out."

"I got that, sweetheart. You were with Hawthorne, weren't you." It's not a question, but a statement. Slowly, I nod. "Hmph. All of us knew you two wouldn't be able to stay apart for long." That's what Mona said the other day. Maybe everyone thinks it.

"Does everyone think that?"

"Pretty much. The two of you were inseparable before." I shift on my feet a little as Haymitch sends me to bed.

* * *

The next morning, I'm awoken bright and early by Haymitch. He says that Mona wants to see me. Groaning, I pull myself out of my bed, and throw on some clean clothes. Slowly, I follow Haymitch downstairs.

"Madge, I have some wonderful news." She says, as soon as I'm sitting down in the chair, Haymitch lingering by the door. "You know those tests that we took a while ago on your vitals?" I nod numbly, rubbing my eyes and she continues. "Well, we took a test on your memory." At this, both Haymitch and I sit up.

"And?" He asks, moving into the other chair next to me.

"And, there is a very good chance that it will come back for good."

"Everything?" I ask and she nods.

"Everything. Or, there is another option. One would be to just let it come back on it's own. It could come back gradually, or all at once. The other option would be a surgery to have it come back faster. But, there would be a chance that it would tamper with your brain permanently, messing up something else besides your memory, or causing your memory to never come back." Never is a big word right now.

I glance at Haymitch to find him chewing the inside of his cheek. I mean I want my memory back, yes, but I wouldn't want to mess something else up when I'm already so screwed up as it is.

"What is the chance that the surgery would mess up?"

"We're looking at a 10% chance that it could go wrong. The doctors here have been trying to find ways to fix memories, but they've never had a case quite like yours, though." She pauses to riffle through the papers she has on her desk. "They would need a days notice to get the right doctors and the correct equipment before administering the surgery. You would be out the whole time, you wouldn't feel a thing. After, you'd be given pain medicine. Your memort would be fuzzy for a little, but then it would return to normal, as it was before the Capitol tampered with your memory."

That's a lot of imformation to process. "What do you think, Madge?" Haymitch asks, nudging me. "I know it's a big decision, and you don't have to make it now."

"Can I talk to my dad about it?"

Haymitch nods, but it's slow. "Yeah. You can. You'll have to make it quick." Haymitch tells Mona that we'll be back later. he leads me down to the hospital, but we go to a different ward. We have to get access to go through and finally, I'm allowed to see my father.

At my first glance of him, I think he's dead. He's laying deathly still on the bed, skin pale. It nearly brings tears to my eyes because he looks like my mother the night before the reaping.

"Dad?" I ask quietly, and his eyes slowly open. He smiles weakly and motions with a weak hand to come forward.

"Hello, Madge." He murmurs, and I move closer to him, sitting in the chair. "How are you?"

"Fine," I sigh, "Nevermind. Confused."

"What's wrong?"

"They think that they have a way to make my memory come back, but there's a chance that it could mess up."

He stops to cough, a thick, horrible sounding cough, and I grimace just hearing it. "Well what are you going to do?"

"I don't know." I say and he sighs.

"It's times like these that I wish your mother was still here. She always knew how to talk to you. But it's not my choice to make. That's yours. I can't decide for you." He coughs again. "But whatever you choose, I will support and love you in every way I can."

I chew on my cheek as he continues. "I want you to know, in case something happens to me, that I love you, and that I wish I could've been there more for you. I'm sorry for all the times I was mad at you because I thought I was losing my little girl." Hot tears burn in the back of my eyes, but I can't let them fall. Not now. Haymitch is tactful enough to pretend that he's not listening, instead hitting the ground with the toe of his boot. "Trust Gale; he's a good man. He'll protect you."

"Stop talking like you're dying." I tell him and he coughs more. I cannot cry.

"I need to get some shut eye. I love you." He murmurs, before his eyelids droop.

"I'll be here when you wake up." I murmur, and he smiles a little before finally drifiting to sleep.

He doesn't wake up.

* * *

Gale POV:

I know that something's up the minute Haymitch walks into Command late. Usually, he isn't late. I try to catch his eye throughout the majority of the meeting, but he seems determined not to look at me. That's when I figure out that something is seriously wrong. Usually he'll catch my eye and roll his eyes about something that Plutarch or the shedevil Coin said.

Also, there's the fact that Madge isn't here. This is when the worry starts to set in to my veins.

"So, Haymitch, has Miss Undersee made a decision yet?" Coin asks, addressing Haymitch.

"Huh? Oh, Coin, honestly. She's been through even turmoil today as it is. Give her some time on this one." Turmoil? What happened? And what decision does she have to make?

"Well I would expect that she would know what she's going to do by now."

"Coin, she found out today. She's had a bad day. Give her some space. And time." Haymitch growls, and I frown again. The meeting adjourns quickly, and I immediately stalk to the other side of the table where Haymitch is.

"What's wrong?" I demand and he sighs.

"I might as well tell you now. You'll find out soon enough anyways." He pauses to put some more papers back into his folder.

"Well!?"

"First of all, the reason Madge wasn't at the meeting is because she was, and probably still is, hysterical." I frown. Usually, when Madge is hysterical, either something really bad happened, or she had a nightmare, but considering that she doesn't remember anything that could give her a nightmare, I highly doubt it's that one.

"Well what happened?" I demand, but he plows through my words and continues talking.

"Second of all, I had to leave her at your house. And finally-"

"Will you just tell me already?" Haymitch growls at me, jerking his head slightly to where Coin and Plutarch still sit. Finally, Haymitch pulls me into the hall.

"I'm getting there." We start to walk to the elevator, and he punches the button that goes to my floor. "You know how her father was sick?" I nod, and I can literally feel my face pale.

"Did something happen?"

"Yes. He died earlier this morning."

"Oh my God." Haymitch nods, and I feel myself go numb. Even though her father and I had some dissagreements over Madge's future and whatnot does not mean that I don't care that he died. He's Madge's dad, and I know what it feels like to lose a father. Madge has lost both of her parents in the past year, year and a half.

"So, yes, that's why she wasn't in the meeting. She needs you right now, whether she knows it or not." I nod numbly, as the elevator dings open. He stays on the elevator as I get off, quickly moving to my house.

When I finally reach it, I find Rory waiting outside. "How is she?" I ask and he sighs.

"A mess. She's miserable." I nod and slowly go inside. Once inside, I hear Posy singing and immediately cringe. That's not a way to cheer someone up. Quickly, I hurry into the living room to find Posy dancing around the room, singing something, while my mother sits with Madge on the couch. As soon as Posy sees me, she stops singing and Vick pulls her out of the room.

I sit gently on the couch, and Madge turns to me. God, she _is_ a mess. Her eyes are tainted red and her tears keep pooling in her eyes. I hate seeing her like this. I hate it so much. If I could, I would take all of the pain from her in an instant.

Immediately, I pull her to me and wrap my arms around her. My mother, sensing that I have it under control, stands and exits the room. Madge sobs into my chest and I sigh, tightening my hold on her. Her fingers bunch into my shirt, and I rest my chin on the top of her head.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Madge. I'm so _sorry_." I murmur, tangling one of my hands in her hair.

"He's dead," she chokes, her tears wetting my shirt, "He's dead, Gale." All I want to do right now is bring her closer to me, but I can't. I can't and it's killing me. It's literally eating me from the inside out. The fact that she has no clue what we've been through, what we've dealt with together, it's killing me.

"Shh," I murmur, and she keeps crying into my chest. God, I hate it when she's like this. It's like the whole universe is out to get _her_. Why her? She's done nothing wrong. "It's okay. You're okay, it's gonna be okay," I mumble, rubbing her back.

Eventually, she cries herself to sleep. Her cheek is resting against my chest and I wipe a stray tear from her face. God, even when she's been crying she still looks beautiful. Slowly, I press a kiss to her head. It's the first time I've kissed her since before she was tortured. It's been what, a month? I've lost count of the days by now.

I sigh and shift on the couch. Well I certainely cannot wake her up now. She needs her sleep. My mother finally comes back in room and looks at our position.

"Did she fall asleep?" I nod and she sits on the other side of Madge, smoothing out her hair. "He died because of the bombs. Haymitch said that there was some poision vapor in the smoke, and her father refused to go get treated for it."

"I thought Haymitch refused too?"

"He did, but eventually he went. Madge's father never did."

"But the doctors said it was a smoke thing that he had?" I ask as Madge mumbles something in her sleep.

"It was, but they didn't want to tell Madge what it actually was."

"That's stupid." I conclude, and my mother sighs.

"What are you going to do about her?" Ma asks gently.

"Well I'm not waking her up. That'd be just mean. And I don't want to leave her."

"I understand that you don't want to leave her, but you certaintely cannot just bring her back to your room like you normally would." That's all I want to do, though. I don't sleep as well when she's not with me. I've had the worst nightmares lately.

"Should I just.. Leave her on the couch? And then I stay out here with her?"

My mom sighs, and then finally nods. "I'll get a blanket for her." When we finally get Madge settled on the couch, my mother tells me goodnight. Then, it's just me and Madge in the living room. I press another kiss to her head and settle into the chair.

God, this is killing me. Seeing her like this, I mean. Before she was tortured, I could just pull her to me and hold her close. Now, though, I can't because she doesn't know why I'm doing it. She means so much to me, and if I end up losing her in the end, it will kill me. I have to do everything I can to bring her back to me, somehow, some way.

* * *

_A/N: So.. yeah. More will be explained in the next chapter. Thoughts?_


	55. Chapter 55

Empty. It's the first thing I feel when I wake up. There is nothing left for me to feel. Slowly, I open my bleary eyes and figure out that I'm on the Hawthorne's couch. When did I even fall asleep? To be honest, I don't remember much from last night. Really, all that comes to my mind is the fact that my dad died. Died. He's dead now.

I sit up and a pang hits my head. Headache, from crying so much, I guess. I rub the sleep out of my eyes and look around the room. Gale's asleep in the chair in the room. It's silent in the house. Maybe the rest of the Hawthorne's are at breakfast or something. Just the thought of breakfast makes my stomach squirm. I'm not hungry. I'm not really anything now. I can't feel anything. There's no emotion left.

Gale's eyes snap open and he sits up straight immediately. His panic-striken eyes search the room momentarily, and when they find me he lets out a breath. He takes in my red eyes, chapped cheeks and pale face and slowly moves next to me. I think he's waiting for me to cry more. But I can't. There's no tears left. No water left to cry.

"How are you feeling?" He asks gently, pulling the blanket tighter around me.

I shrug. "I'm not." I lean onto Gale's side and one of his arms wraps around my shoulders, bringing me closer to him.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. If there was anything I could've done, I would've..." He trails off and I shake my head.

"It's not your fault. No one's fault but the Capitol's." I swallow, trying to think of anything but my father and the memories that we shared together. I take a shaking breath and Gale tightens his hold on me, sending warmth through my body. I don't know how long we sit there, with Gale just holding me, but no one bothers us. No Rory, no Posy. No one. Just me and Gale.

After a while though, Gale finally slackens his grip on me and stands. "C'mon, I want to show you something." He holds his hand out to me and I take it, the blanket falling off of my shoulders and onto the couch. He doesn't bother with my schedule. Out the door, into the elevator. Gale's hand stays in mine the whole time. If I wasn't numb right now, I'd probably be able to hear my heart beating out of my chest.

There's a point where Gale drops my hand for a moment to grab something and punch in a few buttons on a keypad, but then it's back in mine, leading me along through the dull hallways of District 13. I stare at the ground as we walk along, counting the tiles of the floor. One, two, three..

When Gale finally stops walking, I look up and run into him. It feels like I've done that several times. I don't know. I just don't know anymore. I don't even know why I'm still here.

Several minutes later after Gale has exchanged a few words with someone, we start walking again, slower this time. When the metal floor turns to grass and dirt, I look up to find trees. I'm outside. Actually outside. The afternoon sun is blinding me from lack of seeing it, and the twigs crunch under my feet. Gale stands next to me, gauging my reaction. I'm literally speechless. I don't even know.

"Almost there," he murmurs, pulling me along again. This time, instead of staring at the ground, I look around. The animals scurry up and down the pine trees, building nests for their families. Sunlight streams through the cracks in the treetops where the leaves don't cover. The new spring flowers are growing around us and the birds chirp above us. The dirt trail that we're on winds through the trees, finally disappearing in the tall grasses that grown in between the trees.

I follow Gale on the path until he steps off of it, and I swallow.

"Trust me," he starts quietly, holding up a branch so I can step under it, "There is nothing out here that I'm going to let hurt you. I know where I'm going." I nod and he accepts that answer. At least he's getting some sort of recognition from me.

We continue walking until we finally stop. Gale helps me through the wall of trees and then follows suit. We're in a little grove. There's a thick surronding wall of trees and soft green grass under my feet. Only the occasional twig or rock. I can see the sky perfectly; the trees don't block it. Gale sits down, and gently pulls me with him until I'm next to him. Good God I can't even function today.

A couple of birds fly overhead, chirping in delight about something. I wish I could be an animal. Anything but what I am now. I wish I didn't have to deal with any of the worries I have, I wish I was carefree. My fingers pull up a few pieces of grass and the soft wind that picked up a second ago takes them away from me, just like how the Capitol takes everything away from me. My parents, my memory, my district, my _innocence_.

At the thought of this, I lean back onto Gale and he quickly pulls me closer to him. They took my innocence. I'm no longer a child, not after seeing what I have and doing what I've done, even if I've been forced into it. A lump grows in my throat and I try to release the tears but I can't. I just can't.

A couple minutes later, I finally manage to force words out of my dry throat. "How'd you find this?" My voice is scratchy and it cracks when I speak.

He shifts in his spot, and takes a deep breath but tells me. "Katniss and I were cleared to hunt for the kitchens a few days after we got here. One of the days Katniss couldn't come out, I was chasing a couple rabbits and they brought me here. Being here just.. Just reminds me of home. It helps take my mind off of things when it gets rough in the district. I came here a lot while you weren't here." He pauses and swallows, "While you were in the Capitol. Thought I needed to bring you here."

I'm quiet for a second. "Thank you." I finally say quietly and he gives me a soft and weak smile.

"Just trying to help." He murmurs, his fingers twirling around a strand of my hair. Slowly, I lay down onto the grass and Gale stays sitting up, looking down on me.

"How'd you handle it? When your dad died?" I finally ask, rubbing my eyes. He looks startled for a moment, but then leans closer to me.

"How'd you know my dad died?"

I sigh and roll onto my side. "I don't know. Sometimes I'll just get these thoughts that make sense or images that I think make sense but I'm never sure and I just don't know what actually happened or not." He lays down next to me, on his side so he can face me.

"Well, it's true. My dad did die."

"How?"

"Mine collapse. Posy wasn't even born." He pauses and rolls onto his back so he can look up at the sky. "I remember it was a couple weeks before Posy was born, actually. It was already a bad day, it was cloudy and rainy and we were already low on money. The sirens went off. We were there for hours until the leader of his crew finally came up and we knew." He rubs his face as I watch him.

"I couldn't really think about it, y'know? I had to help my family get through it. I hopped the fence for the first time. Hunted illegally. Turned into the provider. Took out terasee. It wasn't near enough, but we got by. Sure, I was upset and mad and angry that he died, but I couldn't really think on it too much. That's life. It happens. Even now I still can't think about it because I have so much to think about now, that adding him to all of that would just make it worse." He finally finishes, sitting up. He won't meet my eyes.

Slowly, I sit up and move closer to him, wrapping my arms around his middle. He looks startled, but then accepts the invitation and caves into my embrace. His arms wrap around my shoulders. He buries his head into my hair and nuzzles my neck a little. My head falls onto his shoulder and he tightens his grip on me.

"How are you handling this?" I murmur and he shifts.

"What do you mean?"

"How are you handling the fact that I was tortured and don't have my memory?" I'll admit, I'm curious as to how he's been dealing with it when it's hard enough for me as it is.

He sighs, but then finally talks. "It's hard. Hell, it's really hard. I mean, you're here, and I can see you and touch you, but you're not the you that I know. I'm not trying to offend you, but that's what it is to me." He takes another deep breath, and buries his face more into my neck. "Twice a week, the Capitol would somehow send us videos of the captured people being tortured. You and Peeta were the most often."

I stiffen. "What.. What'd they send?" I ask quietly. If it was the night sessions.. Then I'm done. That would just haunt me forever, to know that people saw all of that happen to me.. No. I can't even think about it.

"Just when they'd beat you. And it killed me to see you like that. I've seen you at your worst and even then I couldn't prepare myself for what I saw, Madge. It was horrible just seeing it. I could hear you screaming and I knew that they were hurting you and all I wanted to do was to get you out of there and I couldn't. I couldn't even get you out safely. I swore to you that I wasn't going to let them hurt you again and they did. I'm so _sorry_, Madge." He finishes pathetically and finally looks up at me.

"It's not your fault." I murmur and he shakes his head.

"Yes, it is. I was supposed to go with Johanna, not you. I was supposed to be the one who was captured."

"Gale,"

"Don't fight me on this. I will continue to blame myself." He mumbles, looking away from me.

I stare at him for a moment. "You're so stubborn."

"I've been told." He gives me a small smile before frowning again. I rest my head on his chest again and he lets out a deep sigh, putting his chin on my head.

In the silence, my thoughts start to stray to my dad. I wonder what they're doing with his body. When Haymitch finally managed to pull me out of the room, they were covering his body with a gray sheet and getting a new bed ready for a new patient.

_Haymitch sits next to me as my father sleeps. He looks a lot younger than he is when he sleeps. Years of being the Mayor has caused major stress and worry lines to appear on his face. Don't forget the worry from when I was in the Games. Even though I don't remember it, I'm sure it caused him worry. _

_The heart monitor beeps to the left as his chest slowly moves up and down. There are more machines hooked up to him, more than I can count._

_"I have a bad feeling," I murmur and Haymitch nods. "A really bad feeling."_

I realize that tears are actually making their way out of my eyes.

_When the beeping starts to slow, I don't notice. Instead, I'm focusing on my dads breathing. I told him I'd be here when he woke up, so if he's still sleeping when Command starts, I'm not going. I'm staying here with my father._

_Haymitch stiffens next to me, and tries to put his hands on my shoulders, trying to get me to leave. "We should go, sweetheart."_

_"I'm staying here, Haymitch. I'm not leaving." I murmur and shake his hands off of my shoulders. I don't notice my father's heart monitor slowing even more until there's one long last beep._

"Gale," I choke out and he looks down at me, concerned pools of grey peering into me.

"I'm here, Madge. Don't think about it. Don't think about him." I nod, but I can't quite listen completely.

_My head jerks up. My dad is not breathing. Looking at the heart monitor, I see only one long line going across the screen._

_"Dad," I force out, staring at his lifeless form. No, this cannot be happening. No. "Dad, wake up. Daddy, please."_

_"Sweetheart, we have to go." Haymitch tries to get me to move from the chair. _

_"No! Daddy, you can't. Please!" I cry, tears finally falling out of my eyes and streaming down my face, "No, no, no.. Daddy please.." Haymitch finally manages to pull me away from my father and just lets me sob into his shirt as doctors come in. "No, you can't!" I force out at the doctors, and they completely ignore me and continue to clean up the room. _

"Shh, it's okay. He's in a better place now." I nod into his chest and sniffle a few times. I don't know what he'd think of me right now. Maybe he'd tell me to suck it up. I don't know.

Gale finally looks at his watch, and helps me stand up. "As much I don't want to bring you back to that hell hole, I only have an hour out here and that times almost up."

Both of us are quiet until we reach the path again. "Can I ask you something?" He asks gently, tugging me along again back to District 13. I nod slowly and he continues slowly, as if he doesn't know how to word his question. "Where.. I hate asking you this right now,"

"It's okay," I murmur and he gives me that half smile like he doesn't know what to say.

"Where.." He pauses again and I elbow him in the ribs, "Where do we stand?" We stop in the pathway and I start to chew my lip. "I'm sorry if it's out of the blue, but I need to know. I need to know if I'm wasting my time or not." Even though his voice has a sharper tone to it, it's still gentle.

"I.." I trail off and he sighs, using his other hand to rub his face, "Gale, I.."

Slowly, he pulls his hand out of mine and crosses his arms. "Thanks for telling me now. Saving me from more pain later."

"Gale, no, wait." He turns back to face me and I chew on my lip again. "That's not what I meant. I'm trying to say.. What I'm trying to say," I throw my hands up in frustration, "I'm not good with words. What I'm trying to say is that I like you. I really do like you." I finish and he stares at me for a moment before smiling at me.

"It's a good start," He says, chuckling into my temple, before he presses his lips onto it. The contact definitely does not startle me at all. It feels normal, natural. The butterflies make their way into my stomach and I feel a blush rising to my cheeks.

"Now, c'mon or we're going to miss Command and Coin will kill us." He links my hand with his again and continues to pull me back to District 13.

* * *

_A/N: So I guess a good/bad chapter? Maybe? Anyways, the death of her father won't be this easy, there's going to be more problems with it later. Gale was just doing all of this to take her mind off of it, if that makes sense._

_So the next two chapters are going to be important and that's why I got this one chapter up so quickly because I want a lot of time to work on the next two. Anyways, thoughts? Hate it? I like it, and that's what's important to me. _


	56. Chapter 56

Even though Gale and I are only literally thirty seconds late, Coin blows a gasket and treats it like we skipped the most important meeting of the year.

"Well, Soldier Hawthorne and Ms. Undersee, it looks like you finally decided to show up." I swallow and Gale squeezes my hand softly before sitting me down in a chair and taking the chair next to me. Haymitch raises an eyebrow at me but I ignore it. "Now that our final members decided to show up, we can finally start the meeting."

"Our first item on the agenda involves Ms. Undersee and the death of her father." I swallow again and Gale squeezes my hand again. "Since he is now deceased, and Ms. Undersee is underage and does not have any living guardian, she will not be allowed to live on her own. She will be moved to the Home for Single Girls."

"Ah, Coin, wait. I was appointed as her legal guardian if anything were to happen." Haymitch starts, staring down Coin. "I am her Godfather."

Coin shuffles through some of her papers quickly and I glance at Haymitch who gives me a nod. "We have no legal record of this, therefore she will not be allowed-"

"Has anyone thought to actually ask her what she wants to do?" Finnick finally spouts out and everyone stops and turns to me. I swallow again and Haymitch gives me a slight nod.

"I-I'll live with Haymitch." It seems that everyone in the room lets out a breath, except Coin. She seems infuriated.

"The two of you will be moved into a different compartment, considering the one Haymitch currently lives in is not large enough for the two of you." And with that, she's moved onto something that I'm not worrying about. All I can think about is my father and how he's not here. I wonder what they'll do with his body. I don't know.

Gale doesn't seem to be paying much attention either, because when Coin finally addresses him, he jumps a little in his seat and turns to her, looking completely confused. I have to bite my lip to keep from smiling. Even though I am upset, I can still think that he looks pretty damn cute when he's confused.

"What?"

"I asked you if you knew of the surgery that's going to be taking place?" My eyes widen and I sit up. I didn't agree to a surgery. I haven't even thought about it. She can't be talking about me."

"Uh, No?" He asks, looking across the table to Haymitch, who's staring at me with his eyes wide. Gale finally looks at me and takes in my expression. "Do you know what they're talking about?" He murmurs slowly, meeting my eyes and I shake my head. "Coin, what the hell are you talking about?"

"The surgery?" She asks, as if we're stupid, "the surgery that Peeta Mellark will be recieving this time tomorrow?"

"Wait, is that the memory surgery?" Haymitch asks quickly, and Katniss's eyes widen.

"Did you get_ consent_ from him?!" She asks Coin harshly and Coin nods slowly. I doubt she actually did.

"He agreed to have the surgery, while knowing that there is a chance it would mess up his memory more." Gale at the moment looks completely confused as to what's going on and tries to voice his thoughts but Coin moves onto something else.

"What is she talking about?" He finally murmurs to me, and I swallow.

"They offered to give me a surgery that could fix my memory, but there's a chance that it could screw up my head more than it already is." He stares at me for a moment and brushes a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Your head isn't screwed up, Madge." He says gently.

"Yes it is and you know it." He shakes his head and Coin snaps at the two of us.

"Will you two pay attention? We don't have all day." Gale sighs and turns back to the table, but not before muttering to me that we're going to finish that conversation later. Great.

The meeting continues and drags on and on. The whole time I'm trying to keep my thoughts away from my dad. Instead, I focus on Gale. He has this habit of trying to concentrate on whatever is going on in the meeting, but he always glances back toward me every once and a while. He'll smirk when he catches me looking at him. Whenever he shuffles through the papers he has on the table, he'll chew on the inside of his cheek and furrow his eyebrows.

When the meeting finally adjourns, Haymitch says that I'm supposed to go back to where I lived with my father and clean it out, so a new family can finally move in. My throat constricts and I find it hard to breath when Haymitch tells me this.

"Just breathe, Madge." Haymitch finally says as the rest of the group shuffles out of the room as Gale talks to Katniss.

"I don't want too."

"I know you don't, but you have too, or they'll just throw it all away." Finally, after a few moments of silence, I nod. We travel to where I lived with my father and I slowly punch in the code and enter the house. Choking back a sob, I walk into where my father slept. "Do you need me to come in?" Haymitch asks, and I shake my head.

"No. I can do this." Haymitch nods, but exits the house slowly. The first thing I see is a picture of my father and mother on their wedding day. This was when my mother was able to walk on her own feet. She's actually smiling. The last time I remember her smiling was... I don't even know? I swallow my tears and continue to rummage around the room. There's a baby picture of me in the top drawer. And then another letter. And finally, my parents wedding rings. Then the waterworks start.

I slump to the floor and bury my face into my hands. My body is racked with sobs as I fall back onto the wall. They're both dead and there's absolutely nothing that I can do about it. Nothing. When I finally manage to control my crying, I look at their wedding pictures and start crying all over again.

"What the hell is taking you so-" I hear Haymitch's voice and he cuts himself off when he sees me. "Oh God." He takes a look at what my father got out from District 12 and he sighs, picking all of the items and heaving me up. I take quick deep breaths and wipe the tears off of my face. "Sweetheart, listen. The new compartment is close, we won't have to walk long." I nod glumly and he leads me out of the house, shutting off all of the lights and locking the doors behind us.

The walk to the new compartment is actually very long. The whole time I'm trying to control my sobs. It's pretty damn hard. So hard. When we finally get there, I immediately collapse onto the bed I'm assigned and bury myself into the covers. I want to die. I'm done. I'm just done. I can't handle this anymore. Everyone I love is dead. Everyone. Haymitch excuses me from having to go to the hospital today, and not having to learn.

When dinner rolls around, I refuse to go. I'm not hungry and I doubt that I ever will be again. Around fifteen minutes later, I still haven't moved from my position and my face is salty from tears. There's a soft knock on the door and I let out a shaky sigh as it opens to reveal Gale. He slowly and cautiously moves closer and sits on the edge of the bed near me.

"Hey," he quietly says and I sit up next to him. "You okay?"

I shrug, and then nod, but I know he knows that I'm not okay. His arm snakes around my shoulders and I lean into him a little. There's a moment of silence. "C'mon. Let's go get something to eat." I shake my head and he sighs. "Madge," he drags out the a in my name, "You need to eat. You can't starve yourself."

"Maybe I can." I grumble and he raises his eyebrow at me.

"Oh really now?" He asks, and I nod defiantly. "Madge, we can either do this the easy way or the hard way." I grumble something incoherent as he stands up and stares at me. "I didn't want to have to do this, but I guess I have too." That's when he picks me up completely and throws me over his shoulder.

At first I'm a little shocked. "Gale! Put me down!" I squeal and he laughs as Haymitch smirks at us as Gale hurries out the door. Outside, I continue to pound on his back as he continues laughing. "Gale, seriously! Put me down!"

When we finally reach the elevator, he drops me down lightly and grins. I try to suppress mine while my face turns bright red. He keeps his hands on my hips and laughs at me. "Oh, come on, lighten up, Madge! You know you liked it." He winks at me and my blush turns redder as my heart beats out of my chest.

"You're an asshole." I try to grumble, but I end up having to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

He chuckles at me and pulls me into the elevator. "Now that I finally got you out of there, we might as well go eat." I pout and he grins, quickly pressing a kiss to my forehead. "I'm going to make sure you eat every bite."

"You're really stubborn." I mumble and he grins again, pulling me by the hand to the cafeteria. Once inside, Katniss glances at Gale and gives him a knowing look, as does Hazelle. Rory and Vick make faces at Gale and he glares at them and they dissolve into a fit of laughter. Meanwhile, Posy jumps at me and clings around my leg. I still stiffen momentarily and Posy slackens her grip.

"Hi!" She chirps, looking up at me.

"Hi." I respond and she giggles as she skips back go Rory and Vick.

Lunch is no longer a quiet time. Now that the awkwardness from before has dissolved, it's louder, more family like. Rory and Vick crack jokes most of the time. Posy will grin at me from across the table. Prim will tickle Posy. Katniss even smiles. Hazelle and Mrs. Everdeen keep sending Gale and I knowing looks, which I choose to ignore completely. And for the first time since I've arrived in 13, I actually feel like I'm a part of a family, even if not everyone is here.

* * *

_A/N: Man life is killing me. Ugh. Anyways, sorry if updates are slow, I'm just ugh. Hope you liked it anyways. Thoughts?_


	57. Chapter 57

**Disclaimer: Important chapter up ahead. Be ready! c:**

* * *

A couple weeks pass. I learn more about Gale, and I would say he learns more about me, but he already knows everything about me anyways. I start to grow back together with him again and I'm happy about it. The more I'm around him, the more I like him. I just get this feeling, and.. I dunno.

It takes me about a week to finally begin to return to normal after my father's death. It's not like it's ever going to be fully normal again, but it's a start.

Currently, I'm over at the Hawthorne's because Gale asked me to come over while he watches Posy. Hazelle has some cold that she doesn't want to give to Posy, and since Rory and Vick are still at school, Gale was the only one left. He said he didn't want to watch her alone.

Posy is babbling about something that I can't really understand right now, but I nod and smile when I'm supposed to. Posy clambers into the spot between Gale and I on the small couch and grins.

"What are you grinning about?" Gale asks Posy and she giggles. He winks at me and I feel my cheeks heat up. Posy continues giggling and I smile at the young girl. Posy's five, or maybe four. I'm not sure, really. She's the youngest out of the Hawthorne family, from what I know.

A couple hours later, Posy falls asleep on my shoulder and I brush her dark hair out of her eyes. Gale stares at me for a little with a light smile on his face before he pulls Posy off of the couch and quickly brings her to her room so she can sleep. When he comes back, he sits down next to me again.

It's quiet for a moment. Then, Gale talks. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"So Finnick and Annie are getting married in a few days and since I can't really take you on a date here, do you want to go with me? Immediately, that annoying blush appears on my face and I finally nod while trying not to smile. He grins and we continue talking the rest of the afternoon about the most random stuff, but I don't really care. Just talking to Gale is enough.

* * *

Peeta's surgery worked. He now no longer thinks that I am a mutt, and he knows that Katniss is his girlfriend. While I am happy for Peeta, his surgery working is only putting more stress on me. One, because Coin is pressing for me to have it, and two, everyone thinks that it's going to work on me since it worked on Peeta. That's the thing. I'm worried that it's going to totally screw up on me and make it worse.

Gale and Haymitch are the only two in Command who aren't leaning towards one side or not. Gale says that he'll support me in whatever I choose. Haymitch doesn't say anything on the matter. Except that he hates Coin and thinks she needs to die, but you know, it's Haymitch.

It's gotten to the point in the wedding plans where Plutarch and Coin are arguing about everything. Coin just wants the two of them to sign a Marriage License and calling it done, but Plutarch is insisting that it's a formal affair and we all dress up. He thinks it would be a great idea for Snow to see us all enjoying ourselves and forgetting what they've done to us. We end up taking a vote and the majority is for the formal wedding. Coin looks outraged but ends up quieting herself about it.

Peeta makes the cake, and Katniss and I work on the decorations with Annie's help, since it's going to be a District 4 themed wedding. Annie's the only one who's actually been to District 4, and the time on the Victory Tour that I don't remember doesn't count, so she has to tell us what to do.

Annie's actually a lot saner than people give her credit for. Most of the time, she's perfectly normal. There were only a couple times when we were working when she suddenly stopped talking and just covered her hands over her ears. Katniss and I just glance at each other and keep working on the decorations. At some point, Finnick comes in and Annie leaves. Finnick says that it's an old District 4 wedding tradition that the groom has to weave the fishing net that will be draped over the couple's shoulders after they're announced husband and wife.

By the time Katniss and I are done with the decorations, it's thirty minutes past dinner and I'm starving. Finnick thanks us greatly over and over again. When I get back to Haymitch's, he's still waiting in the living room for me.

"You missed dinner."

"I'm aware Haymitch." He holds out a plate for me.

"Where'd you get that?" Haymitch rolls his eyes like it's obvious.

"Your boyfriend brought it over a little ago. Said he didn't want you to starve." I blush and he smirks. "Go eat."

* * *

Two days before the wedding, Plutarch and the people who were my prep team from the Games, bring Annie, me, Katniss and a few others back to 12.

Annie and I are about the same size, so Plutarch says that the prep team will only have to make a few alterations from my old ballroom dresses from after winning the Games. So, when we get to the district, I keep my eyes down and Katniss does the same. I don't want to see it again. Once inside, I also avoid the room where the roses were and follow Plutarch to where I stayed after the Games.

When the open the door, the prep team nearly breaks down in tears before the pull it together and start throwing dress after dress after dress at Annie. She's actually quite sane for an insane person. At first, Katniss and I sit there, as Annie tries on dresses, sometimes making comments, sometimes saying nothing.

It's not until she puts on some green one my prep team said I wore in District 7 during the Victory Tour that I know it's the dress for Annie. I don't remember that, much less the dress. Then, they insist that Katniss and I try on stuff too, and eventually, we cave and try on stuff. Katniss tries on an sunset orange dress and murmurs something about how Peeta would love it.

I finger through the closet and Katniss pulls out a dress for Prim. I'm pretty sure it would fit her because I'm so small in size. She's almost as tall as me, and Rory's almost passed me in height. The prep team throws me a dress and I hold it up to my body. It's some pale blue color, lighter than my eyes and the prep team says I wore it in District 1. Yeah, I definitely don't really remember that.

Finally, we head back to 13. Immediately, I head back home and pass out. I'm exhausted.

The next morning, the District is in a buzz. Everyone is running around trying to get the last few things set up. First, Katniss and I go and set up chairs for people to sit in, and help Peeta move the cake to the refrigerated part of the kitchen. Then, it's our job to keep Finnick away from Annie until it's time for us to get ready. We actually do a pretty good job until about thirty minutes before we're supposed to go get ready. He almost gets in and then someone throws him out as he cackles down the hallway.

Back at Haymitch's, I pull on the dress and stare at myself in the mirror. I haven't worn a dress in what seems like years. I push my bangs behind my ear as Haymitch knocks on the door. I let him in and nearly die at the sight of him in a bow tie.

"Yeah, yeah go ahead and laugh." He grumbles and I keep trying to stifle the laugh.

"No it's not that it's funny, it's just that it's.." I trail off and I do end up laughing. There's another knock on the door and my laughs die.

"Well that would be your boyfriend, sweetheart." His old nickname for me resurfaces and I try to stifle another laugh.

"Haymitch." I grumble and follow him to the living room.

"What? I have to play the protective dad part now." I groan and cover my face as Haymitch opens the door to reveal Gale. He looks handsome in the suit he has on.

"Haymitch," Gale notes, and Haymitch gives Gale a look as I walk out from behind Haymitch. Gale's eyes immediately divert to me and they widen. He pries his eyes away from me and looks back to Haymitch. "Well, we'll just be going now."

"Hold it." Haymitch says, as Gale pulls me into the hallway by the hand. "Gale, back in here." Haymitch goes back into the house and Gale looks at me before rolling his eyes and following him into the house. I lean up against the wall for several minutes before Gale and Haymitch finally come back out. Haymitch gives Gale one last look and sends us on our way.

As soon as the door closes, Gale puts his eyes back on me and lets out a low whistle. I feel myself blush some more and then that butterfly feeling in my stomach. "You look beautiful. So beautiful." He murmurs and my cheeks turn even redder. He smiles at me and then pulls me along to the elevator. "What was up with that?" He asks, gesturing to Haymitch and his weird behavior.

"He said that now he has to play the overprotective dad part." I tell him and Gale chuckles while he pushes the button on the elevator to bring us to where the wedding is. There's quite a few people already there and Gale pulls me to where his family is. Posy immediately wraps around my leg and I laugh before giving her a hug. Hazelle gives me a smile and Rory and Vick make faces at me behind their mother.

The minister (who turns out to be from District 4) calls for everyone to take their seats and quickly everyone finds where they're supposed to sit. Then, we're supposed to stand again as Annie walks into the room. When I glance over at Finnick, there's only one word that I see on his face: Love. Pure and true love. These two were really meant for each other.

After the two say their vows, there's a ritual where the net that Finnick made is lowered onto the two and then they put salt water on each other's lips. The two kiss and the crowd erupts into cheers. Annie's laughing in delight and Finnick is spinning her around. Quickly, the chairs in the area are cleared to the side and Finnick and Annie have their first dance. The whole time this is going on, the two kiss every once in a while. Before the dance is over, Katniss and Peeta wheel the cake out so it's off to the side and I smile. Peeta worked really hard on it. I know he did.

"I'm happy for them." Gale murmurs from behind me and I nod slowly as the song ends and Annie gets glimpse of the cake. Letting go of Finnick, Annie runs to Peeta and gives him a great hug, and the crowd chuckles. Annie and Finnick share the cake and they're both grinning like maniacs. The cake the passed around to everyone as the dancing continues for people who don't want cake at the moment. I don't know why they wouldn't want this cake, it'll be gone in a little anyways. I might just eat it all, it's that good.

As soon as the next slower song ends, another, more lively tune starts to play and nearly everyone goes onto the dance floor. Gale tries to get me into it but I just don't know how to dance.

"Gale!" I protest, and he laughs, "Gale, I don't know how to dance."

"Oh come on, it's not that hard. You just have to move your feet." He manages to get me onto the floor and starts to teach me the steps to a District 12 folk song that I vaguely remember dancing too as a child. Gale gets me to move a little and grins. "There you go."

Next thing I know, I'm dancing around with everyone. At one point, I'm with Peeta. Then Rory, and then Vick. Even Finnick. I can see the cameras filming all of this and instead of feeling annoyed, I'm happy that Snow will see people overcoming what he's done to us.

There's a point when an old District 12 wedding song comes on and Gale finds me in the crowd.

"Hey," Gale murmurs as he pulls me into the dance floor with him. "Dance with me?" I nod, and he grins, hesitantly putting his hands on my hips, pulling me close to him. "If I get to close, let me know." I nod, but I doubt he will. I trust Gale.

It's obvious that he's been dancing with everyone. His face is flushed and he's grinning. I smile at him and lift my arms to his shoulders.

I see Annie and Finnick swaying to the music and I smile to myself. Vick and Posy are dancing together, Prim and Rory, Katniss and Peeta, just seeing everyone makes me smile.

"You look so beautiful." Gale murmurs to me, snaking his arms around my waist more.

"You've said that at least three times, Gale." I laugh and he chuckles.

"That's because I mean it. You look absolutely stunning." I feel myself blush and he smiles, brushing a piece of hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering on my cheek for a moment before it drops back around my waist.

"You seem taller." Gale says to me and I giggle. That's only because I have heels on. Even with them on I'm not even close to his height.

"Maybe you just got shorter."

"No, I am almost positive that that's not it." He chuckles and I roll my eyes.

"You're too tall."

"Maybe you're too short." He jokes and I swat his cheek, but smiling. By now, we're not really dancing, just swaying to whatever tune is playing.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can feel several pairs of eyes on Gale and I. "Gale,"

"Hm?"

"People are watching us."

He laughs, lowering his mouth to my ear, sending chills down my spine, "Who's watching us?"

"For starters, Haymitch and your mother. Then there's Coin and Plutarch and don't forget Katniss, Peeta, Prim, Rory and Vick too."

"Well this is a private joint." I laugh and his hand reaches back up and starts playing with my hair. He has this look in his eyes, one that I can't quite place the meaning of. He's looking at me with such intensity that I can't even move as he pulls me closer to him. If I were too look up right now, he would merely have to lower his head a little and we would be kissing. The thing is, I want to kiss him. I really do.

"Madge," he murmurs, while his head dips down a little. When his lips are lingering over mine, so close I can almost taste them, he speaks again, "Tell me to stop. Tell me to stop if you don't want it."

"Gale," I force out. I don't want him to stop. "Don't stop. Don't you dare stop." His breath is ticking my skin, and our noses bump slightly. My heart beat picks up. He's so close right now and I just want him to close the distance between us. That's all I want.

And finally, he does. It's not rushed or too much. His lips are soft and warm. At first, I can't move. I'm frozen. All I can really think is that Gale is kissing me. Then, I can finally respond to his lips. Mine move over his and he keeps me steady because my knees start to buckle. My brain is fuzzy and my heart is pounding like crazy out of my chest. Kissing him is intoxicating. I can't think at all. His kisses are so incredibly _gentle_.

When we finally pull away from each other for air, his forehead drops to mine. My eyes skirt up from his lips to his beautiful eyes. He leans down more to peck my lips again.

"So," He murmurs, trailing off.

"So what?" I know I'm grinning like a mad woman but I don't care.

"So does that mean that I can call you my girlfriend?" My cheeks burst with even more pink and he grins some more. "And kiss you whenever I want?"

I laugh. "Sure, Gale."

He smiles again. "Good. I've waited forever for you to say that."

* * *

_A/N: Well, I can say that they've come a long way from when Madge wouldn't even talk to him. I know that it's a little cliché, but I wanted it that way. Thanks to my cousin for helping me with this chapter. Expect things to go up after this chapter. Thoughts? I really hope y'all like it! c:_

_Sorry if there are a few mistakes, I'm trying to get this up before we have to completely clean out our house so we can move soon, tell me if there are any and I'll fix them._

_*Help: I have no absolute idea what to do for a couple of my other Gadge stories, so if y'all have any suggestions, please PM me. I need all the help I can get on them right now.*_


	58. Chapter 58

That night, I can't sleep a wink. I sit awake most of the night just thinking about what happened. Gale kissed me. I kissed Gale. My head is spinning from the thought. I think I finally fall asleep around like three in the morning and I'm awoken by Haymitch about four hours later. When I grumble under the covers, I know he rolls his eyes.

"C'mon! Get up, you." I groan and Haymitch pulls the top layer of covers off of me. "Coin and Plutarch want to see you." At this, I shoot straight up.

"What do they want?"

"Who knows. They want you to eat some breakfast and then go there." I growl under my breath and Haymitch smirks. I stand and run my hand under the scanner. Looking at it, I see that I have an appointment with Mona. Shit. I haven't been doing those assignments that she gave me. Guess I'll just have to tell her the truth. Then, I have to go to the hospital. Within the last few weeks I was moved to work in the hospital. Haymitch said that Coin would do anything to get me onto the Medical Team since Gale made it very clear I wasn't to fight.

Just the thought of Gale makes me giddy.

I smile to myself and Haymitch rolls his eyes again before getting out of the room. I change into some clean clothes and hurry to have breakfast. I didn't have much dinner last night, I don't think. Not sure really. I spent most of the rest of the time with Gale. He was the happiest I've seen him since I got here. Maybe it's because he's finally allowed to kiss me. I'm not sure on that either.

I hurry into the cafeteria with Haymitch right behind me and we get into the line. Our breakfast for today is mush. Just like yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. I can't wait until I can get out of here and have some real food. If we can get out, that is.

When I'm grabbing my water for breakfast, someone pokes my side and I jump a little. I'm still a little jumpy, especially when I don't know who's touching me. I turn to find Gale standing behind me, grinning.

"Good morning to you too." I smile, and he quickly wraps me in a tight hug.

"You two are disgusting." Haymitch mimes gagging and Gale shows him an obscene hand gesture.

"Gale," I scold, but I'm laughing all the same. He pecks my lips lightly and I know that I blush.

He grins again before twisting his hand through mine and pulling me through the cafeteria to where he is with his family. When I set my tray down, I look up to find _everyone_ staring at me. Rory is_ still_ smirking at me. Peeta, who has recently recovered from his surgery, grins at me and then glances at Katniss who's staring at Gale and I. It seems that everyone is staring at me nowadays. I'm not sure if I should be happy or not about that.

The conversation at the table is small, partly because we're all still exhausted from last night. Posy's falling asleep in her chair. I know that I probably look pretty bad too.

"What's your schedule?" Gale asks, and I pull up my sleeve. He smiles.

"You have a lot of free time." I nod, and he smiles again. "Good. I want you to meet a few people."

* * *

Coin and Plutarch assign me the Medical Team that I'm on. I'm on the same one as Prim, so I guess that's good. The fact that we're getting closer to the war, though, it scares me. A lot. Less time to prepare. Less time with family. Less time with _Gale._ That one makes me a little upset. Right after I'm finally able to get over another hurdle, I have to prepare to go to war. Lovely.

Mona is happy to see me. I haven't been in a few weeks. I tell her that I haven't been doing to assignments and she laughs. When I tell her about my father, she frowns and gives me this speech that it's going to be okay. I like Mona, I really do, it's just I don't need any more pity. When I get to the part about what happened with Gale, she grins very widely and tells me that everyone knew we'd be back together quickly. That makes me smile. I guess it's the fact that we were so much in love that we could get through anything. Or something like that.

Later, back home before lunch, I find out that Plutarch got Gale and I dancing on tape. And he wants to put it in a promo. Haymitch had a cow. Hazelle, on the other hand, had the whole entire barn.

While I'm sitting next to Gale on the couch in his house, Hazelle is pacing in front of us, fuming. "It's an invasion of your privacy!" She screeches and I sigh. "They shouldn't have been filming it in the first place, and yet they were!"

"Ma, really it's fine." To be honest, it doesn't really sit well with me either. I agree with Hazelle, it is an invasion, but I'll bite my tongue.

"Well it's not fine with me, Gale." She grumbles. She's quiet for a moment, and then continues to pace. "I'm just going to go and talk to them."

"You really don't have to.." Gale trails as he stands and gives me an apologetic look before following her slowly. I hear them talking quietly in the hall before the door opens and closes. Gale lumbers back into the room and sits next to me again. "She's so stubborn."

"Sounds like someone else I know." I smirk and he grins before dipping down to press a quick kiss against my lips. I can't seem to get enough of him at all. I feel myself blushing and he grins again.

"I have no idea who that might be." He frowns, and I shove him a little as he smirks at me. He dips down to kiss me again.

"God I cannot get enough of you." He murmurs against my mouth as his hand slides up my cheek.

"Same here." His lips move over mine slowly and I feel him smile.

"My god I have missed kissing you." He mumbles again and I break the kiss.

"How long has it been?" He chews his lip for a minute as he tries to remember.

"I think.. I think it was right before we had to get into the arena to get everyone out."

"Oh. So before the Capitol?" He nods slowly and pushes some hair behind my ear. Hell, just at his touch I go crazy. I really like him. I _really _like him. I don't even know how I came to like him this much. I swallow and try to force myself to remember everything from before, but I just can't.

"You're frustrated. What's wrong?" He always seems to know when I'm angry or anything.

"I just.. I just.." He tips my chin up and forces me to look at him. "I just want to remember everything, Gale. I want to know what we've been through and what's made us the way we are today. I want to know why you love me so much and why I love you so much. I just want to know everything but I'm scared Gale. I'm scared that the surgery will mess up and we'll have to start over all over again."

"I want you to remember too, Madge, hell I'd do anything to get you to remember. I'd take the memory loss for you, Madge." He says, pulling me closer to him and forcing me to look at him. "And with the surgery, if you do have to surgery, and it works, then good, but if it doesn't, then I won't give up on trying to get you to remember me, Madge. I know that you're not going to say it back, and that I know you're not ready to, but I love you so damn much, Madge. Nothing is going to change that. You have to understand that whatever happens, nothing is going to change the way I feel about you."

I stare at him for a minute and finally just throw my arms around his neck. "Promise?"

He chuckles under his breath as he wraps his arms tightly around me. "I promise Madge. When I make a commitment to family, that's like this, I don't break it."

I pull back and stare at him some more. "But I'm not,"

This time he really does laugh (which is a wonderful sound by the way, if you were wondering) and then says, "Yes you are. You practically lived with me after the Games. You're considered family to me."

"I did?" He nods, "And my parents were fine with that?"

"Well I don't think your mom really knew what was going on, but I don't think your dad liked it."

"Why?"

"He didn't exactly like me I don't think. I dunno though. I guess he thought that I was gonna use you and then leave." When Gale sees my puzzled expression, he continues, "Back home I had a bit of a reputation. It was that I had been with nearly every girl in District 12 and that I always used them, or something. But none of it was true, though. Yeah, sure I had messed around but after the Games I definitely did not." He gives me a small smile.

"Uh-huh." I murmur and he presses his lips to my forehead.

"C'mon, we gotta go." Oh yeah. He has training and I have to work in the hospital. I keep forgetting that we actually have schedules here, I'm so wrapped up with everything, including Gale.

He stands and helps me up. "After dinner stay in the cafeteria for a little so I can get you and so you can meet those people, okay?" I nod and he leads me out of the door. To be honest, I have no clue who I'm meeting later. Guess I'll have to find out in a little.

* * *

After a long afternoon in the hospital, which consisted of several broken limbs from training, some type of flu from all of the kids, and then a lot of blood. The main doctor there tells me to expect more injuries since we're getting closer to the time where soldiers will have to leave.

Before dinner, I run into Posy and Vick and Posy gives me a wide grin, showing off her newly lost tooth. It must be her first tooth to lose because she looks very excited.

Apparently, Posy's six now. Here I am thinking that she was four. I'm off. Posy skips off into the lunch room to find her mother, or someone and Rory and I get in the line. He's taller than me! What is this?

"You're taller than me." I point out and he grins.

"I know. Everyone's taller than you." I glare and he cackles at me. As we're talking about how I'm a midget, or something, Gale comes in and pulls me aside immediately.

He gets straight to the point. "Did you get your team number for the war?" I nod and he scowls, running his hand through his dark hair. "Shit. When are you leaving?"

"Few weeks, I think. Depends on when the soldiers get closer to the City Circle, or something. When are you leaving?" I'm scared to know the answer. I don't want him to leave, I literally just got him back in some way. Life, don't do this to me.

He deadpans. "Three weeks."

* * *

_A/N: Any guesses as to who Madge is going to meet? And yes, the war is getting closer. It's very close. Y'all will hate me most of it. I'm putting a poll on my profile as to if Madge should take the surgery or not. I already know what I'm going to do, I just wanna know y'all opinions._


	59. Chapter 59

Three weeks. That's a pretty hard thing to do. Especially when neither of us could come back. Gale shakes me out of my thoughts and we hurry to eat. Apparently it's really important that I meet these people.

Gale tugs me along by my hand through the hallways of District 13.

"Gale, where are we going?" I ask for about the fifth time and he chuckles.

"I told you. You'll find out when we get there."

"Well when are we gonna get there?"

He glances back at me as he pulls me into the elevator. "You're impatient. We're almost there." We lean against the wall and he twines his fingers with mine. "Trust me they'll be pretty shocked to see you."

"Have I met them?"

"Two of the people we're going to see, yeah. The other two, no."

"Who are they?"

He grins. "You'll have to see."

"Gale," I drag his name out and he grins again. The door opens and Gale tugs me out. "C'mon tell me!"

"No. We're almost there, Madge. You're about to meet them anyways." We stop in front of a door and Gale tugs on my hair. "If they give you any crap, let me handle them."

"Why would they give me crap?" He chuckles softly.

"Because you're with me. The two of them are amazed that I even managed to get someone to like me." I raise an eyebrow. They can't be serious. Gale's amazing. I don't see why anybody would turn him down in any way. "Are you even listening to me?"

"What?" He smirks and then continues.

"I was telling you about them. Anyways, these two married right out of high school. Literally, three days after they graduated they were married. Have one kid on the way I think. I always meant to bring you to meet them but everything was so crazy after we won that I didn't have time." I nod and he finally knocks on the gray door.

There's a few moments of shuffling behind the door and then it opens to reveal a guy who looks about Gale's age. He doesn't notice me at first and nearly shouts when he finally does." And I finally get to meet the famous Madge Undersee!" Gale rolls his eyes at the guy and looks at me.

"Hey, Bris get out here! You gotta see who's at our door!"

"Thomas, it would be nice if you would let your pregnant wife sleep, you know."

"No, you really gotta see this." A thin woman with a small baby bump comes to the door and stands next to the man. They both have the Seam look. Grey eyes, dark hair.

"Well, look who it is." I tighten my grip on Gale's hand and he squeezes lightly. The woman eyes me a little and then the man invites us in. I tug Gale back and he gives me a questioning look.

"What?"

"What if they don't like me?"

"Trust me, Madge. They'll like you." He murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead.

"Are you two coming?" I hear the guy named Thomas shouts and Gale grumbles, wrapping me in a tight hug before pulling me by the hand into hours compartment.

"Yeah yeah we're coming." Gale shouts back as we shuffle into the small living room. The couple must've been talking about us, most likely me, because they stop abruptly when they see me. "Madge, this is Thom," the guy shakes my hand and gives me a wide smile, "and this is Bristel," the woman also shakes my hand, but it's a bit reluctant.

"It's about time we met you, it's only been what, nearly two years since you two got out of that hellhole?" I involuntarily flinch. I've seen the videos. I know what happened during the Games. Gale gives him a look and Thom backs off. He sits next to his wife on one of couches in the room. I get pulled onto a couch by Gale.

"Calm down," he murmurs softly into my ear, "They're not gonna hurt you." I give a slight nod and try to relax.

"What're you two whispering about?" Thom asks, giving us a questioning look, his eyebrow raising.

"About how much of a dumbass you are." Gale shoots back, smirking. Bristel and I just sit quietly while they argue about something. Gale finally addresses Bristel when asking when the baby is coming.

"Five months." Bristel's eyes finally light up and she starts to talk more. "But lemme tell you, pregnancy sucks," she says, looking at me, "It's so uncomfortable all the freaking time and you're bloated and feel so disgusting. But I'm guessing that you already know all about that."

"What?" Last I checked, I'm not pregnant. Unless I'm completely missing something here."

I respond and she continues talking about how much it sucks and how they haven't even planned for the baby yet.

"Well I'm sure you get a bigger place to live once it's born, right?" Gale asks, and Thom shrugs. Bristel returns to her quiet, sullen self.

"That's what we thought but we don't know, really." The conversation continues a little before Thom addresses me.

"So, Madge. Tell us about yourself." I swallow and Gale raises his eyebrows at me.

"What do I say?" I ask and Thom chuckles.

"Anything really. We just wanna know who you are, considering that you two have been together for almost two years and we don't know who you are."

"Uh," I really have no idea what to tell them. It's not like I always talk about myself. Plus, these people probably already know most about me, because of the Games and everything that followed. Finally, I speak. I tell them about me, and they seem to take what I tell them as an answer.

When I finish, Bristel stands abruptly, glancing at the clock on the wall, and then her schedule. "Thom, we have our appointment."

"Crap, yeah we do." He stands and Gale pulls me up, "Sorry to cut this meeting short, but we gotta go." He says and we follow him out of the compartment. "I'm sure we'll be seeing you again, Madge." The couple races down the hallway after locking the door and Gale and I stand there.

He pulls me into a deserted side hallway. His arms wrap around my waist and he tugs me close to him.

"You never told me you were on the track team back home." He murmurs. I shrug.

"I remember that after a while my mom found out that I had been running a lot and she wanted me to stop." His brows furrow and I continue, "She said that if I kept running, then my hips would get even wider and she didn't want that. She said that they were too wide to begin with, but," I trail off and Gale frowns.

"Do you honestly believe that?" I shrug again and his frown grows wider. "If it helps, I don't think that your hips are too wide. I think that they're perfect."

I glance up and frown a little. "You're a guy; you always think that." I tease and he groans.

"I'm glad to know that you've noticed I'm a guy." He smirks at me and I grin.

"I really have no idea how to respond to that." He laughs and then presses his lips against mine.

"Well I do." He mumbles against my lips. My arms snake around his neck, while I press myself onto my tiptoes. He's so tall that I have too. He chuckles a little. We stand there kissing for a couple minutes until someone turns around the corner. I immediately pull myself away from Gale as the older man walks by scowling, saying something about how there's too much PDA these days.

As soon as he's gone, Gale and I both burst out in laughter. I don't even know why it's so funny, but I like laughing. When we finally manage to stop laughing, we look at each other and laugh all over again.

"Hey, c'mon we have somewhere else to be."

"Where are we going now?"

"The orphanage," he says simply, and when I give him a puzzled look, he explains why. "After our Games, before the Quell, Parcel Day was ruined by rats and whatnot. We decided that we should give the remaining food that wasn't spoiled to the orphanage. There, we met two kids who had lost both of their parents in the mine and their pregnant sister to the same Games as Annie Cresta. The girl was really upset, and she wouldn't eat. Eventually, you got her to eat. We started going to see them about every week." This story seems oddly familiar.

"Oh," I say and he continues.

"Last week when I was here, they both practically begged me to bring you to see them, considering that you've only seen them once when you got here."

"I've seen them?

"Yeah. Do you remember one of the first days that you got here and I brought in two kids?"

"Yeah, why?"

"They're the kids we're going to see."

Something clicks in my head. "Are their names Eva and Kai?" He nods slowly and then smiles a little, the smile lighting up his eyes. I know that he's trying not to look to excited about me maybe remembering.

"Do you remember them?" I shrug.

"A little, I guess. I don't know if it's just because I've seen them, or if I'm actually remembering or not." I finish and he grins.

"At least I know that you know something." He grins, and then we continue to walk to the District 13 Orphanage. When we get there, the stern old woman eyes us.

"Are you here to adopt?" We both choke. Do we look old enough to adopt a child? I would hope not.

"No, ma'am, we're just visiting two kids." Gale recovers, and the woman asks for the names and leads us there. I trail behind Gale. Honestly, that woman scares me. She looks like Coin. And Coin scares me to death. Gale pulls me next to him as the woman opens the door.

"Eva, Kai, you have visitors."

Gale tells me to stay outside for a moment while he goes in to talk to them. The second time Gale comes out, he lightly pushes me in. Then I'm attacked by two small children.

The two cling onto my legs and Gale quickly starts to pry them off but stops when he sees that I'm smiling. The boy, the youngest, pulls me down so he can give me a hug. He must be four or five. The girl looks like she's a little younger than Vick. They both have the same black hair and green eyes.

"You're here!" The boy, Kai, shouts and I nod. "We thought you weren't gonna come back." He says again as he crawls off of my lap and onto the small bed that must be his.

"Of course I'd come back." I tell him and he grins widely, revealing this is front four teeth are missing. Something must've happened, because he's too young to lose teeth yet.

Eva, who's been sitting further away, talking to Gale, finally comes over cautiously. She gives me an awkward hug. She must have some idea what's happened to me because everyone who knows acts at least a little different towards me, even Gale does.

"How are you?" I ask and she shrugs as Kai comes over and sits onto my lap.

"Don't bother her, Kai." She mumbles

"He's not bothering me. I don't mind it." Kai starts talking to me animatedly about something and Eva retreats back to Gale. I glance back to see her trying to find something in her dresser and Gale gives me an apologetic look. I shrug and turn back to Kai. He continues about how his friend Mateo is from District 2 and how he's really funny and such. Just watching him I can't help but smile. I've always loved kids. Being an old child with a dad who always worked and a mom who was never there, I've always been alone. I don't want anyone else to have to go through that. That's why I want kids.

Eventually, Gale realizes that we have Command, and we have to go. Kai gives me a great big hug and I receive another awkward one from Eva. Kai makes me promise that I'll come to see him again soon.

As soon as we're out of the orphanage, I stop.

"She doesn't like me." I tell him and he sighs.

"Yeah, she does. Eva's just.. Eva's afraid to lose people. When she was really young, she lost her sister to the Games. Then her parents. Before we left for the Quell she asked you if you were going to come back and you told her that you would. You didn't go back to District 12. We didn't hear anything about or from you for _months_, Madge. We didn't even know if you were alive until they sent the videos of you in the Capitol. She thought you were dead. She was really beaten up because she thought you were. She doesn't want to lose anyone else that she loves." I nod slowly, and he continues. "It might take a little time, but she'll open up to you again. She did once."

"Oh. Okay." I know that he can tell that it's still bothering me.

"Tell you what. We'll come back every other day so you can talk to her, okay?" I nod, and he smiles. "Now, c'mon. Let's go listen to Coin rant about something that no one cares about."

* * *

_A/N: So there's that. Here's the issue: I'm going to be gone most of June and about half of July because of various camps and mission trips. I don't know when I'll update next. The reason I'm only updating this story is because I'm being biased and this one is most important to me. _

_Anyways, thoughts? I wrote this entirely on my phone, so I'm expecting there to be mistakes. Sorry about that._


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